26. Caleb
Chapter 26
Caleb
D amn.
Aubrey is on fire tonight.
That would be a true statement every night, of course. The woman’s an atomic bomb. But tonight . . . Jesus fucking Christ. Is this white-hot blowjob Aubrey’s gifting me her way of thanking me for the truck I gave her father earlier tonight? If so, I’ll gladly buy the man a fleet of trucks every week. A fleet of yachts, airplanes, and helicopters, too.
Was it watching me dancing around with Raine to “Pretty Girl” that got Aubrey’s motor running so hot tonight? If so, I’ll dance with my daughter to every girl-power anthem in the world, every night of my life.
I tilt my head back on my pillow and sling my forearm over my eyes, trying to withstand the insane pleasure Aubrey’s giving me. It feels so good, it’s blurring with pain. Catapulting me into a state of delirium. Does this woman’s mouth have a personal vendetta against my cock or what?
As Aubrey’s mouth takes me higher and higher, I start shaking and shuddering, like she’s using a Taser on me. And when my loud groans threaten to wake up the Munchkin across the hallway, she hands me a pillow for my face.
After the crestfallen look on Aubrey’s face earlier tonight—the one she wore when her father expressed surprise about my current state of indecision regarding the cabin—I thought Aubrey might want to skip sex tonight, in favor of talking about my vision for the future.
But the opposite happened. When Aubrey came to my room tonight, not only did she want sex, as usual, she attacked me like never before and told me some good news: she’d brokered a deal with Raine to sleep with my sister, Auntie Miranda, for the whole night. Which means Aubrey can stay in my bed the entire night, for the first time, ever, without needing to sneak back to Raine by sunrise.
Aubrey tries a new angle with her mouth, and my eyes suddenly roll back into my head. What kind of sorcery is this? I’ve had more blowjobs than I care to admit; but not a single one has ever made me feel like I’m being physically electrocuted by pleasure.
“ Aubrey ,” I grit out from behind the pillow smashed over my face. “What are you doing to me, baby?” If I knew this was waiting for me every night, I’d never need another drop of alcohol or hit of weed. I’d never suck on a vape again or pop a gummy. Hell, I’d never even take a fucking Tylenol, if I knew this drug of a woman was all mine, forever.
Forever.
It’s the first time I’ve thought the word in relation to Aubrey. But the minute the word strikes me, it feels natural and right. Like a no-brainer. In fact, thinking about Aubrey being mine forever only turns me on, even more .
As another shockwave of arousal rockets through me, I buck my hips and grip Aubrey’s hair, trying to hang on.
My balls tighten, and a growl hurtles out of me from the depths of my soul.
Aubrey lets out a low, ragged groan that matches my own desperate sounds; and a second later, a tsunami of ecstasy slams into me, throttling me with a release that’s so fucking body-quaking and head-spinning, I can’t keep myself from writhing on the bed like a goddamned marlin hauled onto a fishing boat.
I’m expecting Aubrey to pull away and let me come all over my stomach. But, instead, she shoves my cock down her throat like a champ and enthusiastically swallows every drop of me. So fucking hot.
It’s not the first time I’ve been swallowed down. Not even close. But it’s the best time, by a long mile. Although everything Aubrey does at this point, both in and out of bed, is the best time. A godsend. Another reason to fall even more deeply and madly in love with her. I’ve entered The Promised Land. Sheer Nirvana. A place no drug or booze or any other woman could possibly take me.
When my quaking orgasm ends, I slide the pillow off my face and inhale deeply. “Jesus, Aubrey,” I mutter on my exhale. “That was incredible.” I raise my head to look at her. And what I behold is damn-near the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. Aubrey looks shit-faced drunk. So, full of lust, she’s seeing stars.
“Here, kitty-kitty,” I coo in a low grumble. “Come sit on my face, baby.”
With a greedy smile, she lets me guide her onto my face; at which point, I grip her hips firmly and fuck her with my tongue and lips like a man possessed. As her pleasure ramps up, and her movements become more and more heated and desperate, I get into it more and more. Until soon, I’ve got Aubrey writhing and gyrating on my face like she’s on the brink of total and complete obliteration.
A string of expletives pours out of Aubrey’s mouth. Suddenly, she begins snapping her hips back and forth on my face with even more fervor, like she’s a sprinter who’s lunging forward toward the finish-line tape.
With a fierce grip of my forearms and a long, low growl, she freezes, stock-still, on top of me. And a second later, every inch of flesh in contact with my tongue and lips begins pulsing and throbbing rhythmically.
I grab Aubrey’s ass as she comes, reveling in every sensation. The sweet taste of her. Her intoxicating scent and sounds. Until, finally, Aubrey’s body stops rippling and her loud groans subside.
Purring, she breathlessly slides off me and flops onto the mattress next to me, a satisfied pile of flesh and bones. “I’ve never come that hard in my life,” she gasps out between pants. “I thought I was going to pass out.” She turns her sweaty face toward me and beams a smile at me that quickens my heart rate. “Did I hurt you?”
I snicker. “If that was you hurting me, then call me a masochist, baby.”
“Seriously, though. Tell the truth. I feel like maybe I was too rough on your face.”
I laugh. “Baby, no, you didn’t hurt me at all. That was the hottest thing, ever, and I can’t wait to do it again.”
Relieved, she throws her forearm over her forehead and giggles. “You’re amazing at sex.”
Well, yeah, I’ve had a lot of practice, I think. Although, come to think of it, I’m not normally much of a giver, when it comes to sex with someone I don’t give two shits about. So, in that sense, I can’t honestly say I’ve had much practice doing what I just did to Aubrey. I’ve done it before, obviously. But not for a very long time.
Aubrey snuggles close, interrupting my thoughts. “Before I came to you that first night, I didn’t expect you to be all that great at sex. You’ve really surprised me.”
“Excuse me? What about me made you think, even for a minute, I’d suck at sex? Also, why come to me at all, if you expected me to suck?”
She’s giggling uproariously. “I wanted to find out for myself. Honestly, I wanted you so badly by that point, I didn’t care if the report card on you turned out to be true or not.”
Shit. I don’t need to ask who supplied the “report card” to her. Claudia. Surely, Aubrey’s bestie had already told her every fucking detail about our brief encounter, so Aubrey assumed I’m always a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am kind of guy. “Is Claudia always going to be lying here in bed with us?” I ask, feeling annoyed. “No matter what I do or say, am I never going to be able to shake my past sins, when it comes to you?”
Aubrey looks up at me, her features stricken. “No, I . . . I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.”
I close my eyes. “It’s fine.”
“No, it’s not. You’re right. That was out of line.” She pauses, apparently waiting for me to say something. When I don’t, she traces a fingertip down my bare chest and whispers, “If it makes you feel any better, Claudia also said you’ve got a massive dick.”
“It helps a bit.”
Aubrey giggles. “She also said she had the time of her life with you, despite you not giving a crap if she got off, too. So, at least, it wasn’t all bad news.”
I rough a hand over my face, realizing I’ve got to confront this latest ghost of my past, head-on, or I’m never going to stand a chance of leaving the past behind me, once and for all.
I tug gently on a lock of Aubrey’s hair. “Unfortunately, there are probably lots of women out there who’d give me the same report card as Claudia.” I sit up onto my elbow and look down at Aubrey’s moonlit face. “I’ve been pretty jaded about sex for a long time. Pretty jaded about women, in general. Once I got famous and rich, it felt like . . . I don’t know. It wasn’t possible to find someone who wanted me for me, so why bother? I’d already blown it with the only girl who’d ever loved me for me. The only girl I’d dated seriously before the band took off. Once I got famous, I knew I’d never have another chance at connecting with someone on a deeper level again, so I embraced that fact and accepted that I was now a trophy. A bucket list item. A story to tell friends. I know the world thinks it sounds fun to fuck a different woman in every city?—”
“Who thinks that? That sounds gross.”
“It is. That’s my point. Sex for me hasn’t been fun or fulfilling for a very long time, so I’m not surprised my partners, including Claudia, were less than impressed.”
Aubrey processes that for a moment. “Remember when you wouldn’t tell me what you did to the only woman you’ve ever loved? I did some internet sleuthing to try to piece it together, and I think I’ve figured out the story. Is she Violet Morgan, the wife of the lead singer of 22 Goats?”
Welp, here we go . I didn’t mean to lead the conversation here, but that’s exactly what I did. “The internet’s got the story mostly wrong,” I say. “There was never a love triangle between Dax, Violet, and me. Violet had already broken up with me, long before she met Dax. Dax never ‘stole’ Violet from me, and I never horned in on his relationship with her.”
“Did Dax really write that song ‘Judas’ about you—in response to your ‘Fuck you, Judas’ tweet? You posted it around the same time photos of Dax and Violet were first splashed all over the gossip blogs.”
“You’ve done your homework.”
Aubrey shrugs. “Seems like it was big news, at the time.”
I roll my eyes. “It was huge news, unfortunately. At least, in my corner of the world.” I gather my thoughts. I never envisioned myself telling Aubrey this story. Not in a million years. But suddenly, it seems necessary, if I want to have any hope of forging a relationship with her in the future. “I was never pissed at Dax for stealing Violet away from me, because he didn’t. It was more that I was pissed he stole the opportunity for me to try to win Violet back, which was never going to happen, anyway. It was that Dax hid his relationship with Violet, while our bands were on tour together, after Dax and I had grown super close. I trusted him like a brother during that tour. Confided in him about a bunch of stuff, including Violet. So, when I found out what was going on behind my back, I felt betrayed.”
“Understandably.”
“Not really. Looking back, I acted like an immature little prick. A big baby.”
“No, you trusted Dax, and he didn’t tell you the truth about what he was doing.”
“How could he? His band was the opener. It was their big break. Their first tour. And Dax knew I was an unpredictable, immature hothead. Was he really supposed to risk me kicking his band off the tour? He’s got two bandmates who would have fucking killed him if he did that and blew their big break over a girl. He was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Looking back, I can’t blame him for choosing his bandmates, his career, and his new girlfriend over the feelings of his new, hotheaded, immature friend.”
Aubrey runs her palm across my naked chest. “Have you told Dax all that?”
“Mostly. Not with that much clarity, though. I apologized to him and Violet at a wedding about five years ago, but I don’t think I said everything to them, quite as well as I just said it to you.”
“Maybe you should contact them and say it again. Only better this time.”
“Nah. Everyone has moved on. I’m sure they never want to hear from me again.” I twist my mouth. “I believe Violet came into my life to teach me how awful it feels to betray someone who trusted you completely, and I came into hers to teach her what a walking red flag looks like, so she could avoid someone like me the next time. And then, years later, Dax came into my life to deliver some much-deserved karma.”
“You should tell them that, Caleb.”
“Nah. They’re happily married with a kid now. In the end, we all got exactly what we deserved.”
Aubrey strokes my chest. “For what it’s worth, I don’t think you’re a walking red flag anymore.”
“I was for years, though.” I gnaw at the inside of my cheek. “When I found out about Dax and Violet, I punched him in the face so hard, I almost broke his jaw. And for what? Because he fell in love with his future wife—a woman who rightly didn’t want me anymore? A woman who’d loved and trusted me, so I treated her like shit in return? Honestly, Dax is the one who should have punched me for the shit I pulled with Violet. ”
“What did you do to her, exactly? You never told me what’s worse than cheating.”
Shit. All of a sudden, it occurs to me Aubrey is going to be the most important witness at the custody hearing. Shouldn’t I be putting my best foot forward with her, so she can credibly try to convince the judge I’m a fit father to Raine? On the other hand, though, I can’t keep this from Aubrey any longer. I love her. I want to be with her, always. Which means she deserves to know this story, in full, without me editing or spinning it. How else will she be able to decide if she truly wants to be with me?
I inhale deeply, feeling like I’m standing on the edge of an abyss. But really, I’ve got no choice in the matter, do I? I need to take this leap of faith. “Violet is four years younger than me,” I begin. “Same as my sister. They grew up together, so Violet used to come around all the time. For years, Violet was nothing but a starry-eyed kid to me. Miranda’s sidekick.” I smile. “Or maybe it was the other way around. Hard to tell with those two.” I pause to gather my thoughts. “Anyway, Violet was always around. Sometimes, she and Miranda would watch my band rehearse. Occasionally, they’d come get burgers or burritos with us after a jam session. And I thought nothing of her. But then, one day, right after Violet graduated high school, right before she went off to college across the country, she and I were alone in Dean’s garage for some reason. Can’t remember why. We were sitting on this raggedy couch together, just talking. And the next thing I knew, I was kissing her, and she was telling me she’d always loved me.” I pause, as memories slam into me. “We wound up having this kind of magical summer together. From that kiss forward, we were joined at the hip. We never even dated. It was like, we kissed and that was that. We both just assumed we were end game.”
My heart thundering, I peek at Aubrey to see if I’ve said too much. Pissed her off. Freaked her out. But she’s poker-faced. Listening intently.
“By the end of that summer, our song ‘Shaynee’ was gaining traction online and in our hometown. We started getting some cool local gigs. And Violet came to every show, without fail. She even started marketing the band and getting us more gigs. She was all-in, you know? She believed in us, even more than we believed in ourselves.” I gnaw at my lower lip. Saying all this shit out loud, especially to someone I want to think highly of me, is harder than I thought it’d be. “So, anyway,” I continue. “Violet had an older brother, Reed Rivers, who lived in LA and had just started an independent record label there.”
“You grew up in San Diego, right?”
“Yeah. So, without telling my band, Violet commanded her big brother, Reed, to drive down to San Diego to check out our band at a gig. He didn’t want to come, apparently. Only did it as a favor to Violet, because she said she’d never talk to him again, if he didn’t.” I chuckle. "So, Reed came, and wound up signing us on the spot, and the rest is history. We became River Records’ first huge success story.”
“From what I’ve read, you guys took off like a rocket.”
“We did. All of a sudden, everything changed. We were on a world tour, performing our songs in front of thousands of screaming fans at sold-out shows. Our debut album skyrocketed to the top of the charts. We were nominated for awards, and on and on. And I let it all go to my head. I convinced myself my ‘rockstar life’ wasn’t real. That my ‘real life’ would be waiting for me, unchanged, when I got back home. ”
“So, you cheated on Violet, while you were on tour?”
Every fiber of my body wants to lie and say, “Only once, when I was drunk and high and didn’t know what I was doing.” But the truth is, I got drunk and high with the intention of cheating on Violet, over and over again. Because I’d convinced myself, as long as I wasn’t sober, it wasn’t real. “I cheated on her, yeah. Multiple times. And it was the worst thing I’ve ever done.” I take a deep breath. “I’ve done worse things, since then.” My Adam’s apple bobs. “Not stepping up to be a father to Raine, for instance. But, still, to this day, what I did to Violet is on my Mount Rushmore of the shitty things I’ve done.” I swallow hard. “I know the world thinks I’ve been on top of the world, since my band hit it big. But looking back, I was much happier in the months leading up to my band’s big break, than in the years that followed.”
Aubrey is silent for a long time. “Are you happy now, Caleb?”
I lift my head and look into her dark eyes. “Happier than I’ve ever been in my entire fucking life.”
Her chest heaves. “Happier than during your ‘magical summer’ with Violet?”
“Aw, baby.” I pull her to me and kiss her gently. “Sweetheart, there’s no comparison. This is the most magical summer I’ve ever had. Trust me on that.” I kiss Aubrey again, this time passionately, to keep myself from saying the words on the tip of my tongue: that I know now what I had with Violet was simply puppy love, whereas what I feel for Aubrey is adult love. True love. The kind that stands the test of time. “I’m ready to be a good man, Aubrey,” I murmur. “I’m ready to be worthy of complete trust. You can trust me, baby. I swear it. I’ll always tell you the truth. Good, bad, or ugly. ”
Aubrey bites her lip but says nothing for a long moment. Finally, she asks, “What did your sister think about you dating, and then cheating on, her best friend?”
“Oh, man, Miranda was pissed. I don’t think she’s forgiven me for what I did to Violet to this day.”
“Are they still friends?”
“Best friends. Like sisters. If all three of us were stuck on a sinking boat—Miranda, Violet, and me—and there were only two life jackets left, I know for a fact Miranda would let me drown.”
“That’s not true. I saw the way she looked at you tonight. She worships you.”
I shake my head. “No. She loves me, but she loves Violet more. I don’t blame her for that, by the way, after all the bullshit, big and small, I’ve put her through over the years. And not only in relation to Violet. I don’t respond to her texts. I ghost her for months at a time. I say I’ll come to this or that thing, and then I miss it. And now, on top of everything else, there’s the thing with me not telling her and our mother about Raine. I think that stunt brought me this close to losing Miranda forever.”
Aubrey pulls a face. “Why have you been such a shitty brother?”
“I don’t know. It’s nothing personal to Miranda, you know? I’ve always been a shitty everything to everyone. It’s like, the minute someone gets too close, I find a way to push them away. To prove I’m not worthy of their love, like I’ve known all along. Either that, or I get to drinking and smoking and simply forget where I’m supposed to be.”
“You think that’s because of the stuff with your father?” When I look at her blankly, Aubrey adds, “He beat your mother. He abandoned you. He convinced you you’re not worthy of love, so you’ve continuously proved him right. ”
I’m floored. Rendered speechless.
“You disagree?”
“No, I . . . I was silent because you just blew my fucking mind.”
Aubrey runs a fingertip across my bare chest. “The great news is you’ve now got the chance to prove your asshole father wrong about you by becoming an amazing father to Raine.”
My heart is thumping. “Thank you for spelling it out like that to me. I’ve never thought about it like that.”
“You haven’t talked about your father in therapy all this time?”
“I haven’t taken therapy all that seriously.”
“Maybe it’s time to start.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
Aubrey grins. “You’ve got this, Caleb. I have total faith in you.”
I can barely breathe. I pull her to me and squeeze her tight. I don’t know what I did to deserve this gift from the universe. This woman who’s teaching me new things about myself every day and helping me become the best version of myself; but, just like Aubrey said, I’ve got a huge opportunity here. One I won’t fuck up.
Aubrey touches my face. “The past is the past. Decide who you want to be and will him into existence. That’s all you’ve got to do.”
“I will,” I whisper. “Thank you, Aubrey.” I kiss her passionately, and soon, my cock has turned to steel, once again. I slide my fingers between Aubrey’s legs, getting her primed for round two, eager to get inside the woman who’s surely going to become the great love of my life.