Chapter Thirteen
Raf was a person possessed of a gift that made him beloved wherever he went. Whether it was the barely hinted at sensitivity beneath the rock-star image, his effortless dress sense or his natural charm – making women want to mother him (amongst other things) and men want to be like him – Pippa had never quite been able to fathom. To her, he was still the little brother she adored, and they were fiercely protective of one another. She very rarely asked him to present his public self on her behalf, but she’d known he would do it for precisely the same reasons she would. Because he loved her and knew she was in need.
He was mobbed by the crowd the moment he arrived at the show, and he posed patiently for endless selfies, friendly chats, and autographs. He visited every stall, high-fived children, and charmed elderly farmers, who were bemused by a handsome and tattooed stranger in their midst as he presented what she knew to be an entirely fabricated interest in the various breeds of sheep on display.
Raf took his turn on the high striker and rang the bell three times, hit the target on the dunking stool and sent Alfie sprawling into a tank of dubious-looking water, making Harriet roar with laughter, and caused a kerfuffle in the craft marquee when he learned the WI chair loved Strictly and spun her into a quick waltz. She’d had to sit down after that and was overheard denying that a stiff gin had been required to bring her round.
Pippa had promised that an hour of his presence would be enough, but he seemed in no hurry to leave and sent her an apologetic grin when he was invited onto the small stage. The band were only too keen to make way for him, and he settled behind the drums, drawing a large crowd as he warmed up. He played a brilliant, improvised set, with the band joining him for half of it, and she was grateful that he kept his shirt on, to the obvious disappointment of a very vocal group of women who looked as though they’d stumbled into the show straight from a hen party.
He played three encores, finishing with a Blue at Midnight classic track before leaving the stage to huge cheers and another queue for selfies, signing programmes and a few T-shirts. She was just relieved there were no breasts; she couldn’t imagine that was an image the show committee would choose to go viral. Pippa decided he’d be fine on his own for a while, she couldn’t get near him anyway. She’d been invited to the WI tent by the chairwoman to present some prizes and headed over, intending to walk right past the vet’s stall until Gil called out.
‘When are you taking a turn?’ he taunted. ‘I thought you’d be first in line after the week you’ve had.’
‘At what?’ She turned a shoulder, eyeing him with suspicion.
‘That.’ He pointed to wooden stocks set up between the two rows of stalls. Someone she recognised as a client who’d brought in a poorly rabbit this week was inside and making the best of being pelted with wet sponges. A week ago she’d have run a mile rather than stick her arms and head in there and she laughed, overcome by a sudden madness.
‘I will if you will.’
‘You’re on. You first.’
Pippa watched as Gil excused himself from colleagues and left Lola fastened to a handy table leg to stride over. She was remembering his hands on her shoulders the other day, the rapid beating of his heart against her back and how she’d instinctively known he hadn’t wanted to let her go.
‘Oh no,’ she said nervously, wondering what she’d let herself in for. ‘I’m not falling for that one. You’ll soak me and then disappear before I get to return the favour.’
‘Are you suggesting I’m not a man of my word?’ He halted in front of her, their gazes tangled, daring her to deny it.
‘Prove it.’ Anticipation was dancing across her skin, butterflies snaking through her stomach.
‘I will.’
They had to wait until the client had been released before he swapped places with Gil, who by the grin on his face was clearly expecting an easy ride. Pippa hovered whilst a few children took aim, mostly missing until a sponge hit him on the side of the head. Then it was her turn and she lined up the first of her three attempts, frowning when it missed, and he smirked at her.
This was ridiculous, she couldn’t even make him suffer when he was trapped between two planks of wood. She refused to be distracted by him laughing, daring her to do her worst. Instead she thought of all the times he’d been rude, had deemed her incapable of anything much, even being a good mum, and her temper twitched satisfyingly.
She dunked her second sponge well, drips catching on her jeans and wellies when she lifted it. She took a deep breath, steadied her hand, and launched the sponge with every scrap of strength she could muster. It smacked him full on the face and she leaped in the air, squealing with glee as he shook his head, drops flying.
Her third clouted him on the nose, which felt even better, and if it hadn’t been for the children queuing, she’d have paid again and had another crack at him. Water was running down his face onto his navy polo shirt and when he was freed from the stocks, she wasn’t too sure she liked the look on his face now and sidled away, heading for the relative safety of the craft marquee.
‘Don’t you dare. That’s not the game we’re playing.’ Gil caught up and took her hand, gently tugging her back to the stocks. ‘Your turn. I want my revenge.’
‘If you were a gentleman you’d let me go,’ Pippa muttered, eyes catching on his fingers threaded through hers.
‘Then it’s a pity for you I’m no gentleman.’ Patches of water had darkened the polo shirt and her pulse skipped as he slicked back wet hair. He only let her go when he presented her at the stocks, and she reluctantly slid her hands and face between the planks. Given the debacle over the show, she was expecting a long queue but after a few children had tried to soak her and mostly missed, he was surprisingly the only adult. A small crowd had gathered, and she wondered if they thought he was going to do their dirty work for them.
She gasped when the first sponge hit her square in the face, the water cold and already running down her neck. His second belted her on the forehead before the third sponge caught her right cheek. She shook some drops away, tensed and prepared for him to have another three shots. Instead she was very relieved to be freed and gratefully accepted the towel she was offered.
‘Happy now,’ she retorted as Gil joined her, and she ran the towel over her face. ‘I’m drenched.’
‘So I see.’ His laughter fell away when his eyes dropped to take in her wet, clinging top. She hadn’t been expecting a soaking when she’d dressed and her fitted white T-shirt had been a nice combination with a jacket and skinny jeans. Her white bra wasn’t the only thing visible through her top and she tugged at the T-shirt, trying to separate it from her skin. The crowd hadn’t entirely dispersed, and she noticed a couple of phones out, making her fold her arms in panic.
‘Where’s your jacket?’ He stepped forward and she almost leaped back until she realised he was shielding her from sight, planting his body in front of hers.
‘I left it at the house when I went back for Raf,’ she muttered, trying not to make her gratitude for his presence too obvious. ‘I was warm.’
‘Here.’ The gilet he’d been wearing before the stocks was hanging on the back of a post and his hands brushed her arms as he slid it around her shoulders.
‘I don’t need…’ It wasn’t the cold she thought to avoid with his gesture, but the warmth, the distraction of having him so close, his chest almost skimming hers.
‘Your choice, Pippa,’ he said softly. ‘But maybe right now you do need it. Those phones pointing your way probably aren’t the only ones.’
‘Thanks.’ She zipped the gilet up, trying to look at anything other than him. ‘I suppose it’ll be on someone’s social media somewhere.’
‘I guess.’
Feeling safer, hidden inside his too-large gilet, she took a step backwards. ‘I’d better go. The WI have roped me into presenting prizes, which was a surprise. I was half expecting to be run out of town, not seated at the chairwoman’s table and fed cake.’
‘Make sure you don’t eat the exhibits. At least you don’t have to judge the novelty dog show.’ Gil rolled his eyes. ‘I’ll probably upset half my clients.’
‘I’d offer to swap but I don’t think I’d be any good at deciding which dog looks most like its owner.’ Pippa was very aware of her warm face, breath catching as he laughed.
‘How are you on the dog the judge would most like to take home?’ He quirked a playful brow and she swallowed.
‘Easy. I wouldn’t be able to pick a winner because I wouldn’t want to take any of them home.’
‘Shameful.’
They parted and Pippa was still smiling as she resumed her progress to the WI tent.
By the time she emerged – surprising herself with how much she’d enjoyed the prizegiving – the tug of war was underway in the main arena and Harriet had taken a place on Alfie’s team and was pulling the rope with all her might, encouraged by the commentator clearly on the side of the local Young Farmers’, and the crowd. Alfie’s team won and Pippa was torn between happiness at Harriet’s face when he swung her off her feet in triumph, and sadness at the parting to come. All this excitement and adventure must not lead to a broken heart, and she mentally added it to her list of things to talk to Harriet about when the right moment arrived.
‘So can I have my gilet back please?’ Gil had joined Pippa at the ringside, distracting her from thoughts of Harriet. ‘Are you decent now?’
‘What?’ Warmth darted into her face at the reminder of her wet T-shirt, and she laughed, covering her embarrassment. Of all the people to catch her like that… ‘Oh yeah, thanks. Think so.’
‘Want me to check?’
Her fingers stilled on the zip she was undoing, her cheeks positively scarlet now, as her gaze raced back to his. His own eyes were amused but there was more there now, another confirmation that he felt it too: this attraction blazing between them, as though their bodies were replying to questions their minds had never voiced.
‘I’m fine.’ The scratched note in her voice was a surprise and she cleared her throat. Even grinding her teeth would be preferable to the fizz bubbling in her stomach, and she slipped the gilet off. ‘Here you go.’
‘Thanks.’ His eyes never left hers as he settled it around his shoulders.
Pippa bent to pat Lola and the dog responded enthusiastically, tail wagging, checking her pockets with an inquisitive nose for treats.
‘Lola’s so pretty, she could never have won the “dog most like its owner” class if you’d entered with her.’
‘I suppose you’re trying to insult me.’ Gil offered her a lazy grin as he lengthened Lola’s lead, and she felt that kick in her pulse again.
‘If you’re not feeling insulted, then sure, I need to do better.’
‘By the way, well done.’
‘For what?’ She snapped her attention back to him, Lola’s tail thumping against her leg. Praise from Gil was totally unexpected.
‘This. Today.’ He tipped his head to the crowd accompanying Raf as he walked towards them, other people trickling away. ‘You did good.’
‘That’s not what you said the other night. And it wasn’t down to me.’
‘The extra visitors were. He’s pretty talented, your brother.’
‘Pretty talented?’ She huffed out a laugh. ‘Have you seen his Instagram?’
‘Okay, it was a great set. I try to keep away from all that online stuff. So how are you planning to top it next year?’
‘Next year?’ Pippa drew in a long, slow breath. ‘I could come back and present a few prizes, I suppose.’
How much will have changed by then? Where would they all be in twelve months time? The house would belong to a new owner, the farm practice closed and the one in town in the hands of new partners.
‘So you won’t be here?’
‘It’s a year from now, Gil, what do you think? This isn’t my life.’
‘No, I guess it’s not,’ he replied quietly. ‘Is London really home for you, Pippa? Or maybe it’s meant to be somewhere else?’ He walked away and she was left watching, trying to work out what his question and that last, long look had really meant.
The show was all but over when she and Raf finally returned to the house. Harriet tore in soon after to charge her phone, delighted that Alfie and his mum were invited to the pub, and took off again to settle Posy for the night. Pippa and Raf wandered down in time for their table booking, a few locals greeting him like old friends, which he took good-naturedly.
Only she would see how tired he’d be later, with the effort of keeping a merry face in place and making those around him feel welcomed. Kenny was thrilled with his celebrity guest and gave them a table tucked away in a quiet corner. Rose arrived soon after with Harriet and Alfie, and Raf was charming, learning about her job and the skincare range she was developing.
After a superb dinner, Harriet and Alfie didn’t linger, instead leaving the adults to their coffee and disappearing to a Young Farmers’ social at someone’s farm. Alfie promised to see her safely home and Pippa nodded, concern lodged in her heart. When they left, Rose insisted she was fine walking home on her own and Raf hugged her, saying something that to Pippa sounded as though he would see her again. Rose waved, and Pippa set off up the main street with Raf at her side.
‘You’re not planning to start up something with Rose, are you?’ That would be another worry. She didn’t want her brother forming his own Hartfell attachment alongside Harriet’s. ‘She’s a single mum, Raf, her life is here.’
‘I’m not a freakin’ idiot,’ Raf said, shoving into her on purpose. ‘Sure, she’s gorgeous but there’s nothing doing there, not for either of us.’
‘You’re certain?’ Pippa wasn’t convinced. ‘Because you were very friendly towards her.’
‘Come on, Pippa, that’s why you got me up here! To get you out of a hole and be nice to people. But Rose is sweet, as is Alfie. Harriet’s picked a good one there.’
‘It’s only been a few days,’ Pippa retorted. ‘I don’t think anyone’s doing any picking. I’ve barely seen her since she started at Dorothy’s. She’s down there every spare minute, mucking out.’ Coming back each night with colour in her cheeks, happy smile lighting up her face.
‘So? Back off, let her have some fun. From what I saw, Alfie’s not the one who’ll be doing the breaking up. Besotted is the old-fashioned word for it. And if she gets her heart broken, so what? You can’t protect her forever, sis. It comes to everyone, eventually.’
‘That’s typical of you.’ She really didn’t want to fight with Raf but thoughts of a broken-hearted Harriet being hauled back to London were too much right now. ‘I don’t think you’ve ever really had your heart broken in your life. You never let anyone near enough.’
‘I guess that’s what you would think.’
They’d only gone a few strides when Pippa halted and threw her arms around him to mutter into his chest. ‘Raf, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it, I’m just worried about Harriet. I’m sorry.’
‘I know, it’s okay.’ He sighed. ‘How are things between you? You talked yet?’
‘Not really, I haven’t found the right moment. But we will. I hope you know you’re lovely. Don’t ever change.’
‘Funny, that’s not what Lina said when I told her it was over.’ Raf offered a wry smile. ‘She said I’m terrified of making a commitment in case it won’t last and that she deserved better.’
‘Oh I’m sorry, for both of you.’
‘Don’t be sorry for me, she was right on both counts. That’s why I left, no point in hanging around when we wanted different things.’
‘So what about you, when this never-ending retirement tour is over?’ Pippa worried about this. Her dad, whatever he decided to do, would be fine. He always managed to find the joy in life, latched onto something that suited him, whether it was touring, recording, songwriting or festivals. She didn’t really believe that he’d ever give it up, not fully. But Raf, her adored eldest brother, was different.
‘What will you do, after the band? You know, if music doesn’t make you happy, you can just stop doing it.’
Since Ewan’s death, there was a deeper sadness in him now, a level of disconnect from his feelings that Pippa had never seen before. She knew he loved them all and showed it, in his own way, but he seemed even more rootless, pouring his heart into notes and lyrics he wouldn’t even let family hear.
‘I have absolutely no idea. I’ll take some time out, write a bit, see Cassie and the kids. I’d like to be there for them more than I have been.’ He paused. ‘Ewan would want that, he’d want to know we were taking care of his family.’
‘He would. And he’d want us all to be happy, too. You included.’ Pippa threaded her arm through Raf’s. ‘And you’ll always have a home with us, if that’s what you want. Come and stay, when you take that time out.’
‘What, here?’ They’d reached the house and Raf glanced up at it; the golden stone warming and welcoming, sunlight glinting off mullioned windows. ‘It’s nice, or it could be. Someone could do a job on it.’
‘Of course not here,’ she said firmly. Confirming the appointment with the land agent was first on her list for Monday, just as soon as Gil was too busy with clients to notice what she was up to. ‘None of us will be here when the summer is over.’
She opened the front door and Raf followed her through to the kitchen. ‘Beer, glass of wine or coffee?’
‘Let’s have a beer and sit outside. It’s a nice evening.’
In the garden Raf pulled out a chair and faced her, but Pippa wasn’t fooled by his easy relaxation. There was something on his mind. ‘So what’s the story with you and the hot vet?’
‘Who said he was hot?’ She jolted, but righted her glass before she sloshed any more beer on the terrace. She still couldn’t get that last look from Gil at the show and his question about her future out of her mind.
‘Just an impression I got from Harriet. Apparently you can’t stop grinding your teeth whenever he’s around and come over all flustered. She said either you think he’s hot or you’re starting the perimenopause.’
‘She what!’ Pippa had put her flushes firmly down to Gil and their differences but maybe her daughter had a point. Surely forty was too early for perimenopause… Wasn’t it? She didn’t fancy either of those reasons and resolved on the spot to be a lot more careful whenever he was nearby. ‘Is there anyone in this family to whom my behaviour isn’t being reported on by my daughter? Between you, Dad and Freddie, it seems she’s got tabs on me every minute of the day.’
‘Makes two of you, then.’ Raf’s eyes were closed, and he opened one to regard her thoughtfully. ‘So you do think Gil is hot.’
‘What I think about him is utterly irrelevant to my present situation, when Dad decided I could park my own life and sent me up here.’
‘You’re staying on?’
‘For another few days, I suppose.’ To Pippa that didn’t sound as awful as it once had. She was getting used to dealing with clients at the vets and managing the system, but there was no denying she’d be ready to throw Elaine a welcome party when Gil’s receptionist was able to return home. ‘Anyway, I wanted to ask if you knew anyone in our family called Ivy? Like from the past, who might have lived here?’
‘No. Should I? Who is she?’
‘No idea, I just wondered if you might, that’s all. Someone in the shop said they thought I looked like her, but there’s no one in the family I can think of called Ivy.’ Pippa pulled a face. ‘Never mind. How’s things with Dad and the tour? All going to plan?’
Raf shrugged. ‘Yeah, fine, I’m heading back in three weeks, we pick it up again in Perth. I still can’t see him giving up and retiring, though. Can you? It’s his life.’
‘Maybe. But you know what he’s like. He’ll make his own decisions. Is he serious, about buying a place in Australia?’
‘Very. He’s still looking after an offer fell through.’
‘What about Dana?’
‘Oh, she’ll stick around as long as she can. Freddie and Phoebe aren’t keen.’
‘Neither’s Harriet. She thinks it’ll be over by Christmas.’
‘I’m not sure your daughter hasn’t got more sense when it comes to relationships than the rest of us put together. Even if she is only fourteen.’
‘Hmm.’ Pippa took another mouthful of beer, wondering why everything seemed to be running out of her control. Even Gil was being a bit nicer to her, although she had pretty much flashed her breasts at him in the wet T-shirt, which had probably helped. She wouldn’t be doing that again, even if he did go back to treating her as an enemy out to ruin his business and probably his life.
‘Hey, are you even listening? You were miles away.’ Raf stretched out a leg and shoved hers with his foot.
‘Sorry,’ she replied hastily, hoping he couldn’t read her mind as well as he once had.
‘Thinking about the hot vet?’ he enquired, and she huffed out a laugh.
‘No. Maybe. What were you saying?’
‘I was asking when you last saw Cassie.’
‘A few days before we came up here. Why?’
‘No reason.’ Raf leaned forward to place his empty glass on the table. ‘Just wondered how she is, that’s all.’
‘When did you last see her?’
‘After I got back from Melbourne, before I went to the island with Lina. Cassie invited me for lunch. I wanted to see Rory and Isla, check in with them. And Cassie, of course.’
‘I know, she told me. She said how lovely it was of you to make the time and Isla and Rory were so excited you made it.’
‘Do you think she’s all right? I mean, I know she can’t be, not after losing Ewan, but I worry about them.’
‘I think she’s as okay as she can be right now.’ Pippa got up to give Raf a hug, suddenly needing to hold him close. ‘Everyone who loves and understands her and the children is priceless right now.’