Finding Home in Hartfell (Hartfell Village #1)

Chapter Seventeen

‘Mum, look!’ Harriet emerged through the back door, her arms full of something that Pippa saw, with a mixture of horror and awe, was a squirming and utterly perfect puppy, white with liver splodges and the cutest button nose she’d ever seen. ‘I hope you’re not going to be mad at me.’

She stood up hastily, rocking the kitchen chair. She’d been making some notes and was expecting someone soon but certainly not her daughter with a bundle of trouble. ‘I thought you were going to Alfie’s. And being mad at you might depend on exactly what’s going on here.’

‘Alfie’s gone out with his uncle, they’re going to see a bull. Look, Mum, isn’t she just gorgeous?’

Harriet carefully extended her arms and Pippa almost didn’t dare take another peek at the puppy for fear of falling instantly in love. Harriet’s heart had apparently melted faster than a snowball in the sun and Pippa’s was halfway there. She knew exactly where this conversation was going and gripped the back of the chair to put a barrier between her and the puppy, feeling a tremor of panic at what Harriet clearly wanted.

‘She’s a springer spaniel and she’s only eighteen weeks old.’

‘Is that right? Are they the bouncy ones?’ The puppy whimpered and Pippa’s heart clenched at the sound, a tiny tail thumping gently against Harriet’s arm.

Two deep, knowing pools for eyes were staring right back at Pippa, set between brown ears on a perfect face with neat little whiskers divided by a white stripe running through the middle. Harriet snuggled the puppy close, murmuring to her, and Pippa seriously doubted she’d ever get the dog out of her daughter’s embrace.

‘She’s a stray, dumped on Dorothy’s doorstep with a broken leg!’ Harriet kissed the puppy as it whimpered again. ‘Dorothy thinks she was the runt of the litter, and nobody wanted her. She’s not even microchipped. She’s better now, Gil treated her.’

Of course he had. They’d reverted back to a version of their previous relationship since the intimacy of that evening in the sitting room a few days ago. One where they were polite but cool, moving carefully and awkwardly through the house and around one another.

‘She must belong to someone,’ Pippa said helplessly.

‘Not so far as I can tell. Mind if I come in?’ Dorothy appeared through the kitchen door and Pippa wondered if Harriet had called for reinforcements on purpose. ‘My guess is she’s from working stock and they decided dumping her was kinder than drowning once her leg got broken. Stood on, probably.’

‘Drowning?’ Harriet’s eyes were swimming with tears, and she clutched the puppy fiercely. ‘That’s despicable. But what’s going to happen to her, Dorothy? Will she have to be rehomed, or—’

‘Definitely rehomed,’ Dorothy confirmed, giving Pippa a sideways look. ‘She’s got plenty to offer the right family and years ahead of her. No good reason for her to see out her days with me, she’d make a lovely pet. Pop her down, Harriet, let her have a sniff.’

‘I thought you said working stock?’ Pippa was trying to be rational, but it was nearly impossible with those eyes imploring her, and that was just Harriet’s. Pippa didn’t really want to look at the puppy again but couldn’t help it, as Harriet lowered her to the ground and she looked around cautiously, tail curling up adorably.

‘Doesn’t that mean she isn’t suited to a family home, Dorothy? Wouldn’t she be better on a farm, running around?’ Not in a city house with a courtyard garden. Pippa had to make a stand somehow. Try, at least.

‘In theory, but beggars can’t be choosers.’ Dorothy bent down with a grunt, and the puppy smiled up at her as she gave it a gentle push, encouraging her forward. ‘Give her plenty of exercise and the right food, and she’d be absolutely fine. Do a job for someone.’

‘Mum, please, can we, pleeeeeeease?’ Harriet looked ready to get on bended knee and Pippa was grasping for resolve coupled with sense, trying to ignore her fears. ‘I’ll help, I promise. I’ll walk her every day and do all the dirty stuff.’

‘For about a week,’ she muttered. ‘Then it’ll be me tramping the streets and scooping poo off pavements.’ As if to prove her point, the puppy squatted down and left a puddle on the floor.

‘But you’ll at least think about it?’ Harriet gently lifted her up, beaming as a little pink tongue licked her cheek before tiny teeth tried to nibble her nose. ‘Promise?’

‘I promise to at least think about it. Watch where you’re putting your feet, Harriet,’ Pippa said weakly, grateful for the huge grin Harriet threw her, obviously believing that the puppy moving in was a done deal and Pippa had the sinking feeling that it was. Harriet would have her jumping in the car and rushing to the nearest pet shop for a cosy bed and a cute collar if she didn’t watch out. ‘Does she have a name, Dorothy?’

‘Maud,’ Dorothy replied. ‘Seemed to suit her. Name of m’favourite aunt, too. Nice sort, knew her way around a tup as well as anyone.’

Pippa was so distracted it took her a second to realise Dorothy was still talking about her aunt and not the puppy as she gathered some kitchen roll to wipe up the mess. She jumped nervously as the door opened.

‘Ah, Gil, excellent.’ Dorothy nodded at him. ‘Puppy needs another wormer, did you bring it?’

‘Yep.’ He glanced at Pippa, who’d backed away at his appearance while Lola set about investigating the new arrival. Harriet lowered her arms, laughing as Maud let out a tiny bark and Lola jumped back. Gil drew liquid into a syringe and approached Maud, talking to her as he gently opened her mouth and slid the syringe into a corner. He gave her a pat and she licked his nose, not appearing at all affronted by his treatment.

‘Well done, little one. Same again in four weeks, until she’s six months old. I’ll microchip her in the surgery once we know who the new owner’s going to be.’

‘Harriet, Maud can’t stay with us,’ Pippa said as gently as she could, ignoring Harriet’s glare. ‘We don’t have anything we’d need to take care of her, and it wouldn’t be fair if she’s not going to be permanent. I will think about it, but I’m not making any decisions right now.’

She’d already made a decision today and if she couldn’t get Gil and Dorothy out of here and quick, then that one could very well blow up in her face any minute.

‘Mum, seriously! Look at her.’ Harriet stomped over and thrust the puppy under Pippa’s nose. Maud smelled divine, all babyish and desperate for a cuddle as she squirmed. ‘Why can’t she stay with us? Can’t we foster her or something, until we go home?’

‘Foster? Are you kidding me? Once that puppy gets its paws under the table what do you think will happen then, Harriet? And how are you planning to look after her when you’re away at school all week? What about when I’m at work? You can’t just take in a dog without thinking it through, it’s not fair on anyone. This is years and years of commitment, not something you do on a sudden whim.’

‘Your mum’s right.’ Gil’s voice was level and Pippa hadn’t been expecting the show of support. Of course he had the puppy’s best interests at heart, but still, it was something to be on the same side. ‘Let Dorothy take her, have a proper talk with your mum and sleep on it. The puppy isn’t going anywhere for now.’

‘Fine.’ Harriet shot Pippa another look and reluctantly handed Maud over to Dorothy, who tucked her cheerfully under one arm.

A knock at the back door had Pippa rushing to answer it but Gil was nearer. The room fell silent at the sight of the man who’d entered and even the dogs seemed riveted. Harriet’s sulky expression dissolved, and Dorothy shot the chap a filthy look as she stomped past. He might have stepped straight from the pages of GQ with his immaculate dark hair and trimmed beard, and Pippa couldn’t fault indigo jeans with a tweed blazer and open-necked white shirt.

‘Sorry, I did try the front but there was no answer.’ He offered her a dazzling smile and she hoped her cheeks weren’t quite as pink as they felt as he stepped forward, hand outstretched. ‘I’m Miles Gray, the land agent. I believe you’re expecting me?’

‘Mind where you walk, the puppy’s peed on the floor,’ Pippa shrieked just as Miles stuck a smart brogue straight in the puddle and Gil laughed.

Miles was very gracious about the mishap, and he accepted the anti-bac wipe she offered. She was expecting Gil to march out but instead he and Harriet sat down at the kitchen table and started discussing what sounded like back ailments in horses. Whenever Harriet was home, she would pump Gil for information about his work and he was very patient, answering her questions and encouraging her interest, something Pippa was uncomfortably aware she was not doing very well.

She introduced herself to Miles, wondering if she was imagining the glint in his eye as they shook hands. That look was one of the reasons she’d never signed up for online dating after her divorce; never certain if a potential match might see her or Jonny Jones’s daughter, and she found it easier not to bother trying. No wonder Cassie thought she was a lost cause where relationships were concerned.

‘It’s quite a place, I can see the appeal.’ Miles let go of Pippa’s hand to glance around the kitchen. ‘Great project for someone, as you said.’

Pippa certainly did not want to be reminded of what she’d said on the telephone when she’d made this appointment. She’d been counting on Harriet and Gil not being home and was aware she was now going to have to lead Miles around what would be a very tricky tour of the house. ‘Mmm. Shall we start in the hall?’

‘Pippa, when would be a good time to talk about my tenancy agreement?’ Gil leaned back to catch her eye, looking way too comfortable at the table for her liking. ‘Over dinner, tonight?’ He ignored her gape as he stood up and offered a hand to Miles, shaking firmly as Harriet watched on gleefully. ‘I’m Gil Haworth, Pippa’s tenant, and this is her daughter Harriet.’

‘You didn’t mention a tenant.’ Miles looked at Pippa, the smile just a smidge less dazzling. ‘What kind of agreement is in place and for how long?’

‘We can talk about that whilst I show you around.’ She was sorely tempted to grab Miles’s hand and haul him away from further trouble. She edged into the hall and stood in front of the suit of armour, hoping it wouldn’t put him off. That was another thing she’d have liked out of the way for today. In a skip, preferably. ‘Would you like to see the sitting room first? It’s beautifully proportioned, if a little dated.’

‘I think that’s my line,’ Miles said with a wink and this time she knew she wasn’t imagining the glint.

Good glint or bad glint, she wondered? Did he think she was attractive or raving bonkers?

‘Four bedrooms, you said?’

‘Yes. Just the one bathroom though.’ Pippa resisted a shudder. She had no idea what was wrong with the plumbing and didn’t intend to find out. ‘And there’s no downstairs loo.’

‘That won’t matter. Buyers will want to put their own stamp on it and probably extend. There’s plenty of space and the kitchen could use a reconfigure.’ Miles paused. ‘And obviously a sitting tenant is something you need to work out before the house can be sold, with or without him. It would definitely lessen the appeal to someone looking for a family home and narrow the market.’

‘Of course. Here we are.’ Pippa opened the door with a flourish. In the early evening sun, dust flickered through the air, landing on the layers that had come before. The vomit sofa, as she always thought of it, looked particularly bright and the purple cushions really didn’t help.

Miles made all the right noises as they continued the tour, and downstairs in the kitchen again, she was dismayed to find Gil and Harriet still talking. Lola was in her bed and Pippa had a sudden vision of Maud safely snuggled up beside her.

‘The house certainly has masses of potential and would sell in no time for the right price, once the situation with your, er, tenant is clear.’ Miles glanced at Gil, who ignored him. ‘Interest in the village is rocketing now the new broadband is in place. The house could appeal to lots of buyers, from someone looking to go self sufficient, work remotely, or most likely, a holiday home.’

‘A holiday home?’ Pippa hadn’t given that one much thought and wasn’t sure she really liked the idea, not that it was her choice. The house had been a home for so long and she felt it deserved to have full-time occupants again, a family who’d understand its quirks and its past.

Harriet got up, grabbed an apple from the bowl on the table and ran out of the back door. Pippa glanced at Miles, grateful for the one person in the room who actually didn’t seem to mind her company. She was getting used to all this angst, sharing a house with her daughter and Gil. When this adventure was over, she decided she was going to take herself off to a deserted island and speak to absolutely no one.

Miles was saying something as he consulted his phone. Goodness, he really was attractive, and she focused again, trying to make up for her distraction.

‘So shall we say Thursday at one? We could make it lunch at the pub, if you fancy it?’

‘Lovely.’ Pippa’s smile became a beam. Live a little, she told herself firmly. She was due a little fun and if that meant getting her kicks, such as they were, with a handsome young land agent then she was willing to give it a go. She’d better be careful all the same, she didn’t want to make a fool of herself. ‘I’ll look forward to it.’

‘Excellent.’ Miles nodded at Gil who glared back, and edged towards the door. ‘You’ve got my number, Pippa, if there’s anything you need before then.’

‘Thank you, I’ll bear that in mind.’

Pippa closed the door behind Miles and tried to think back to what she’d been doing before everyone had arrived and she’d been forced to confront the prospect of a puppy. Gil was making hot water with lemon before he leaned against the range, mug in hand, to stare at her.

‘Why are you so against having the puppy?’

‘For all the reasons I gave Harriet,’ she said calmly. ‘I thought you’d understand. As a vet, surely you don’t want someone taking on a pet they can’t manage. So many people change their minds and end up rehoming.’

‘All those things need to be thought through but it’s not that holding you back, Pippa.’ He took a mouthful of hot water. ‘You’re frightened. Why?’

‘Don’t be ridiculous.’ Her heart was clattering and she just wanted to get on with making dinner. ‘Would you mind moving so I can start cooking please?’

Gil shifted along but not quite as far away as she’d like, and she opened the fridge. ‘You saw the mess the puppy made on the floor. I’d be the one doing all the hard work, then in a few years Harriet will go to university and her puppy will become my dog. I don’t want that, it’s not fair.’

‘On whom? Harriet, or you?’

‘Either of us! I don’t want this, she’ll only get hurt like me and then…’

A sob clutched at Pippa’s throat and stole her next words as a tear escaped from one eye, fingers gripping the fridge door. She closed the door carefully, unable to hold back a gasp as she felt the firm pressure of his hands on her shoulders. He turned her, swiftly pulling her tight into him, and it was enough to loosen the anguish she’d battled to contain.

She hadn’t been held in so long, not like this. Raf was a hugger, her dad too, when she saw him. But Gil was different, broad and solid, present. Her face was buried against his chest as she tried to gulp back the sobs and one hand was stroking a circle on her back, the other holding her steady as she clutched onto him.

‘You had a pet before?’ he asked gently. She nodded, nearly undone by her loss of control. His shirt was damp with her tears, heart a hurried beat against her cheek, hands sure and certain on her back. ‘When you were young?’

‘Fifteen.’ She swallowed. ‘After my mum. After she died.’

‘A dog?’

‘Yes.’ The word was muffled, and she was aware of his hand pressing her gently, letting her know he understood. She didn’t want to let go or have him release her, not yet. ‘She was called Ginger.’

‘What breed was she?’ His voice was a rumble deep in his chest and one hand moved to her head, tangling in her hair to keep her close.

‘A Beagle.’ Her breath was still gulping hiccups and she sniffed. ‘Dad got her as a surprise, he thought she would help us. She was so loving, and he wanted something we could cuddle.’

‘What was she like? Friendly, playful, intelligent?’

‘Yes. All of those things. She was meant to be for all of us, but she became mine really, Raf and Tilly weren’t that interested after a while. She slept on my bed, and she knew all my secrets.’ Pippa managed a smile; so many of the memories were wonderful. ‘She knew when I was happy or sad, and she’d be waiting for me as soon as I got home. She loved to play, and she was so clever, so tuned into me it was as though she understood everything I felt. I adored her.’

‘Of course you did,’ Gil murmured. ‘I’m sorry seeing Maud tonight has brought all this back.’

‘I don’t want Harriet to go through what I did if anything happens to Maud,’ Pippa said fiercely. She lifted her head to stare at him, wanting, needing to be clear, and uncaring of her reddened and puffy eyes. ‘I know what you’ll say, and it would break her heart. She doesn’t deserve that.’

‘No, and neither did you.’ He placed a hand either side of her face. ‘Pippa, you can’t protect her forever, much as you want to. She has to find her own way and make her own mistakes, just like we do. Maud would be good for her. For both of you.’

‘You don’t understand.’ The dread, the guilt was rushing back, deadening her voice. ‘It was my fault Ginger died. She was only four. We were in the park, and I threw a ball for her, and it rolled under the fence into the road. She jumped it. I’d never seen her do that before.’

Pippa could still remember her own screaming as she’d gathered Ginger up and held her all the way to the vets in a stranger’s car. Legs vanishing from underneath her when the vet came to say how sorry they were, but they hadn’t been able to save her beloved companion. Refusing all her dad’s frantic offers of other pets and collecting Ginger’s things to give away to a charity because she couldn’t bear to see the empty bed, the scattered toys, the home broken by loss once again.

‘It wasn’t your fault,’ Gil insisted. ‘Dogs do unpredictable things all the time, no matter how much we think we know them. You weren’t to know she’d jump a fence if she’d never done that before.’

‘I put her in harm’s way. It was my fault.’ The words were running on a loop in her mind, even though Gil’s made sense. Everyone’s had at the time; she just couldn’t hold onto that and make them real. ‘I failed her.’

‘You gave Ginger a wonderful home and loved her for the rest of her life. I’m sorry it wasn’t a long one, but I’ve seen so many animals who never come close to that. Maud would be incredibly lucky to have you, both of you.’

‘That’s quite a pitch.’ She smiled weakly. Gil’s assurances were kind, but it would take more time yet to allow them to settle in her heart and heal the space Ginger’s loss had opened up.

‘Don’t rush into it,’ he said quietly, both thumbs smoothing her cheeks. ‘You’re right to consider all the practical reasons and be sure you can make it work.’

‘Mum? What’s going on?’

‘Harriet!’ Pippa sprang away from Gil as though she’d been shoved, face burning. ‘I didn’t hear you come in.’

‘Obviously.’ Harriet was greeting Lola, but her tone was anxious. ‘So is there something here you need to tell me?’

‘I’m going to make us something to eat.’ Gil looked at Harriet. ‘Why don’t you and your mum take Lola into the sitting room and chill for a bit?’

‘Not until you tell me what’s going on and why Mum’s been crying.’ Harriet had wrapped her arms around herself, fear rushing into her eyes. ‘You’re not ill or something, are you?’

‘No, of course I’m not.’ Pippa found a smile. ‘But chilling does sound nice, if Gil doesn’t mind cooking vegetarian.’

‘I think I’ll cope,’ he said dryly, turning away.

Harriet followed Pippa into the sitting room and Pippa was glad of Lola’s company too, as Harriet settled on the floor with her. Pippa joined them, needing to be close to Harriet, wanting the touch of her daughter’s arms and legs against hers.

‘I got myself a bit upset after you left, thinking about Maud, and Gil was trying to help.’ Had helped . ‘I’ve never told you this before and I’m sorry I didn’t.’ Pippa went on, explaining about Ginger and why she’d hidden all the photos of them together. It wasn’t long before Harriet was crying too, gripping Pippa’s hand fiercely as she snuggled closer.

‘So you see, it’s my fault we’ve never had a pet.’ She smoothed Harriet’s long hair and stroked her daughter’s head against her shoulder. ‘There were practical reasons to consider of course, but on some subconscious level I thought I was protecting you from getting hurt. It’s part of my job, but sometimes it’s really hard to stand by and watch it happen. I don’t want your heart to get broken, by anything.’

‘I’m sorry I’ve been so horrible to you.’ Harriet’s voice was muffled, and Pippa tilted her chin to raise her head, feeling a part of her heart healing. ‘I didn’t know about Ginger.’

‘It’s okay, how could you if I didn’t tell you? And I think being grumpy is kind of your job at this age. But please, tell me if there is something worrying you so I can help. I promise I’m not trying to interfere, and I will do my best to step back when I need to. I know you need to make your own mistakes and it’s also my job to equip you for them.’

‘I’m so afraid of losing you, like Isla lost her dad. I didn’t want to worry you.’ Harriet’s bottom lip wobbled, and Pippa pulled her in tight, loathing that Harriet had carried this alone and hadn’t felt she could share it. ‘I hate what she’s going through and that it happened to you as well. I know I could never be like you and look after someone the way you did with Raf and Tilly when you were young. Grandad told me that it was down to you the family didn’t totally fall apart and that you loved them like your mum did because she couldn’t.’ Harriet swallowed, swiping at a tear. ‘He said it wasn’t fair because you missed out on having fun and grew up before your time because he wasn’t a good enough dad when you needed him to be.’

‘I’m so glad you told me, sweetheart. And I’m not going anywhere.’ Pippa squeezed her fiercely. ‘I know I’m too protective where you’re concerned. You’re growing up so quickly and I’m sorry for not always listening. It’s brilliant, what you’re doing here with Dorothy and the animals. And Alfie. He’s lovely. And an incredibly lucky boy to have met a girl as wonderful as you.’

‘I really like him, Mum. And I’m sorry for pushing you away,’ Harriet said with a sniff.

‘Hey, you’re a teenager, it goes with the territory. Let’s make a promise to be good to each other, okay? And I promise to be more open to letting you try things, maybe even make a few mistakes.’

‘Okay. Thank you. I promise to hug you more often. And be nicer.’

‘Really?’ Pippa pressed home her advantage and tickled Harriet, right on her ribs when as a little girl she would scream with laughter and beg her to stop, and then start again. It still worked, and they were both laughing as Harriet eventually wriggled away.

‘Anyway, your grandad’s not so sad about me that he decided not to send us to Hartfell.’ Pippa’s heart was lifting at the realisation that her dad had seen it, understood just how much of herself she’d sacrificed for her brother and sister. She’d do it again in a heartbeat and would never regret it. If Raf and Tilly were better because of her, then every moment of caring for them had been worth it.

‘Yeah, but look how many nice things have happened since we got here. We’ve both made friends, you’ve got a job, I’m learning loads from Dorothy, and I’ve met Alfie. Halfie ,’ Harriet said dreamily, and Pippa smiled at her faraway look, determinedly forcing down her concern.

‘Halfie does have a nice ring to it,’ she agreed. ‘But please, darling, don’t forget we’re going home soon.’

‘That doesn’t mean we can’t both have some fun whilst we’re here.’

‘Fun? Me? I don’t even know how to spell it,’ Pippa retorted. It was so long since she’d let go, she doubted she’d ever really lighten up.

‘I’m not so sure.’ Harriet’s look was beady. ‘I don’t know what’s going on with you and Gil but that looked pretty cosy in the kitchen, before.’

‘He was just being nice, that’s all. He caught me at a bad moment.’ Or maybe a good one, Pippa still wasn’t sure.

‘And it’s okay, about Maud. I know it’s a really stupid idea, having a dog. It wouldn’t be fair to leave it all to you.’

Pippa was reminded of Raf’s words and Gil’s, about holding Harriet back in some misguided attempt to protect her. She knew they were right, however hard it felt to let go. ‘So you don’t want to come shopping with me tomorrow for a collar and lead, and a shedload of wipes?’

Harriet screamed with joy, nearly knocking Pippa backwards as she flung herself into Pippa’s arms. She laughed, lit up by this new happiness. She’d worry about the practicalities of a puppy later.