Fire Meets Fire: Wretched Soulz MC

Chapter 19

My jaw drops to the ground, then closes, then my mouth opens shaping the first letter of the word, but. At Slugger’s furious glare, I slam it shut, and take a moment to rearrange what I’d heard in the clubhouse and my, admittedly hasty, interpretation of the facts.

It doesn’t take long for me to come to the same conclusion that he has. Christ, I’ve been an ass. Sure, I’d heard the brothers talking about the windfall to come, but should have given them credit. Men I’ve lived and ridden beside for the past decade and more would never let me down, and whatever perceived wrong Helo had done to the club didn’t merit giving her up. Of course my brothers would want to have their cake and eat it too. Particularly if, as we now know, it means snatching the prize out of the hands of our archenemies.

Then I could be partially excused. My brothers were one thing, but I’d had Slugger to add to the mix. And he was unpredictable. Doesn’t exonerate me though. I should have waited, talked, listened, and maybe have better thought things through.

“You come to your senses?” Slugger asks. When he sees the shrugging movement of my shoulders, his gun magically disappears. “Are you ready to start actually planning how we’re going to keep your ol’ lady safe, and get that money into the club?”

“I’m going in.”

Both of us swing around at Helo’s quiet, but insistent tone. Eyeing her carefully, I look for signs of whether she’s recovered from her recent episode. Her face is drawn, her eyes don’t look completely clear. To my mind, she looks like she needs some down time and not to be involved in a serious discussion about how to save her life.

Slugger gets there before me. “There’s no fuckin’ way you’re getting involved.” His voice leaves no room for doubt or argument. Or, at least, wouldn’t for any members of the MC.

Helo, of course, is a different animal. Dazed as she still must be, she takes on a stance that screams who the fuck do you think you’re talking to? She doesn’t even need to say a word.

It’s only for a split second but I wish I had my phone out at that exact moment to take a picture of the expression on Slugger’s face. It’s like he’s never been faced with such female derision. It puts him on the backfoot and shows as he all but stammers, then quickly recovers himself.

“You… back there…” his hand waves at the door of the cabin. “You fuckin’ passed out.” His voice strengthens as he gets himself back on firm ground. “There’s no fuckin’ way you can take point on any mission, let alone go in by yourself.”

She doesn’t seem to give any weight to what he says, as she replies, “The Dominators won’t get the money until they pass me off to whoever is behind all this. It’s got to be me. They won’t be interested in anyone else. The objective is not getting rid of a nest of one-percenters, it’s getting the two million dollars.”

Slugger’s raised eyebrow shows she’s made a good point. He crosses his arms over his chest and regards her for a moment. “And how do you suggest we do that?”

I don’t like her grin one little bit. “They could kill me on sight, so I need to give them an incentive to keep me alive.” A chilling chuckle, then she adds, “I go in as a literal bomb.”

Her first words are bad enough, but I’m one hundred percent certain that when I do hear the rest of her proposal, I’m not going to like it. My lips momentarily press together, then I ask, my words coming out in a controlled monotone, “Would you care to expand on that?”

With total oblivion as to my feelings she says in a completely matter-of-fact way, “I go in wearing a suicide vest.”

“And the trigger?” Slugger asks, his voice menacingly low.

“Pressure switch on a remote control that I’ll be holding.”

“Fuck no!” I exclaim. “You pass out and you’ll blow yourself up.”

“Dummy switch?” Slugger asks, almost hopefully, making me feel a wave of relief that he has to be right.

But Helo shakes her head. “No. It’s got to be believable. I’ve got to be believable, if I’m going to get the information from the Dominators and get them to disclose the name of the fucker who’s after me, so we can take them down.”

“Then no,” Slugger states firmly. “You need our help to get the explosives unless you’ve got a supplier on speed dial?” He pauses, raises a brow, then continues when she ruefully shakes her head. “Admire your bravery, girl, but ain’t gonna help you commit suicide.” The next time she makes her short hair fly side to side at her dismissal of his comment, he softens his features. “Not questioning your abilities, but back in there?” He waves his hand toward the cabin. “You went down for no fuckin’ reason. I’m not risking that on my watch.” He shoots a crafty look my way. “And that’s just me being gentlemanly. I’m not even enamoured with you like our friend Chaz.”

A statement I couldn’t deny even if I wanted to waste my breath.

It’s a stalemate. Helo is right. We need to get information from the Dominators and it’s hardly unlikely they’d just give it to us. As soon as they get their hands on her, then all they’ll see is a payday. As far as we know, they may still get one whether she’s dead or alive.

There must be another way. Our clubs are evenly matched, animosity shared. Any direct attack will end in a bloodbath, and not without loss of life. Of course, there’s the option to take one prisoner and find what we want to know by torture, but will that info be known to everyone in the club? My brothers, for example, wouldn’t necessarily know all the details. It’s more likely their prez, VP, or maybe their treasurer will be the ones that we want. But cutting them from the herd will take some planning.

Helo’s on the right lines. We need to do something spectacular to get their attention. But sending in a woman who’s liable to pass out and accidentally blow herself, and anyone in the vicinity into smithereens is not an option.

Yeah. I can see the merits of her proposal. “I’ll do it.” Both pairs of eyes swing to me, both exhibiting identical expressions of surprise. Knowing I have to convince them, I start to tick the plus points off. “Firstly, they will know who they’re dealing with, a Wretched Soulz prez who wouldn’t fuck around, whereas Helo’s an unknown female. Secondly, I’ve already set the play in action. Let there be a rumour that I’ve been ousted from the club. It will make it more believable that I want a part of their payment. I’ll walk in with Helo as if I’m ready to auction her off. I’ll be the one wearing the vest and in control of the detonator.”

Slugger’s face undertakes a transformation as his mouth widens. “I like that plan better.”

“Well I don’t.” Helo’s hands again go to her hips. “It sucks.”

“For what reason?” I challenge her.

Her expression hardens. “The Dominators would be able to tell I would be prepared to let that damn bomb go off?—”

“Which is more rationale why you’re not fuckin’ doing it,” I snarl. My stance is similar to hers, both facing each other in a standoff.

There must be something in the tone of my voice or our posture that alerts Slugger. “I think the two of you have things to hash out.” Uncharacteristically, he turns as if to leave us alone. Normally he likes to be up in all brothers’ business. But he doesn’t go without imparting one final bit of advice. “I think the two of you should work out exactly what this relationship between you is, and exactly how far either of you are prepared to go.”

He turns and disappears back into the cabin.

Helo stares after him. “What did he mean by that?”

I close the space between us. Tentatively, I hold out my hand. After a pause, she takes it. As I wrap my fingers around hers, I make sure just to hold them loosely. “Walk with me?”

At the dip of her head, I lead her around the path that takes us to the back of the cabin. There’s a track that leads up to the mountains from there, a pretty path, dappled with dancing sunlight coming through the breeze driven leaves of the trees. As well as the lighting show, nature helpfully provides the shelter from the harshest rays of the hot Arizona sun. As we progress upward, the sounds of my brothers fade, and soon all we hear are the squawking of birds, presumably warning of intruders invading their space.

I’ve not had the cabin long, but have previously explored, finding solace in the peace. I follow the track, which is overgrown in parts, and lead her to a flat boulder. To one side there’s a fair drop, with water glistening below. I lean back against the rock, automatically spreading my legs. To my surprise, Helo steps in between them, and cups her hands around my face.

After gazing into my eyes for a moment, she gently leans forward and brushes her mouth against my lips. Hers are just as soft as I expected they’d be. So surprised she’s initiated this intimacy, I hardly dare breathe as I wait to see what she’s going to do next. After pulling away, she examines my face, before once again moving in and melding her lips to mine. This time, she closes her eyes and gives a small sigh.

When her tongue flicks at my lips, I take a chance, open my mouth, and she takes the invitation, advancing inside. As if she’s a wild animal I could so easily frighten away, I make no sudden moves, don’t chance putting my arms around her, and leave her in control.

The kiss becomes more heated. I groan as she moans. With everything that’s happened to her, while I want to take this further, if she pulls back now, even if she leaves me with blue balls, I won’t think she’s a tease. I’ll be quite happy if this is as far as she thinks she can go.

I try to lock my hands into place, but the impulse to touch her is almost overwhelming. Before I can lose my senses, she eases away, resting her forehead against mine in a gesture of such intimacy I feel it right through to my bones.

When she straightens, I open my eyes and see that she’s staring, and unfortunately, straight down to my groin where there’s nothing I can do to hide the bulge that’s formed, and with her in such close proximity, there’s no way it’s going away.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she replies softly.

But I feel the need for more explanation. “It’s not okay, but it’s automatic when I’m around you.”

Her response can be read a number of ways. “I know it’s a normal male reaction.”

Yeah. She knows only too well. I grimace as I remember. “It’s a reaction that led you to passing out?—”

Her gaze snaps up to meet mine. “I didn’t know you then, Chaz. All I knew was that there was a very aroused male on top of me, and my mind shot me back into the past.” She pauses, then waves her hand downward, drawing my attention to that part of me embarrassingly standing to attention. “I don’t think you’d ever force me or hurt me.”

“Too fuckin’ right,” I growl. “I’d cut off my fuckin’ dick before I put it somewhere it wasn’t wanted.”

She sighs deeply. “You’ve got to let me take point with the Dominators, Chaz. I need it. I’ve been fighting for my life because it’s an automatic reaction, while wondering why the hell I’m trying to stay alive.” Her face twists. “Those bastards took more than the obvious from me.” Before I can give a consoling and probably meaningless reply, she continues, enlightening me as to her true meaning. “I was a woman in a man’s world. I had to be better, work harder, prove myself, not only that I could do the job, but that I deserved to be there. Respect isn’t given, it’s earned, and I’ll be damned if I didn’t give my all to achieve that.” She doesn’t have to explain how female Night Stalkers are a rarity, and I have no problem believing her, so when she raises her eyes to mine, I lift my chin to show my understanding. “I became a person where what I have or didn’t have between my legs wasn’t important. It was my skill that was in demand. And by fuck if I didn’t prove myself time after time.” Her mouth quirks. “I’d like to say I wasn’t reckless, but I sure skirted the edge of danger. But if soldiers wanted to be rescued, they wanted Helo flying their way.” She shrugs, letting me know it’s no idle boast. “Not that I was any better than any other Night Stalker, but I was their equal, not their worst.”

A rustle in the undergrowth gets her attention for a moment, her reaction as fast as any soldier who’s served. She turns, tenses, then just as fast relaxes as a bird hops off, searching for food. As her back is now turned toward me, I pull her to rest against my front.

“I couldn’t show any sign of weakness.” As she speaks, her chest vibrates against my arms holding her close. “I couldn’t be any different, so when we had down time, I drank, and fucked—never another Night Stalker, but there were other servicemen, other ranks. I was as hotblooded of a woman as any male soldier.”

I squeeze her slightly, knowing I’m just the same. I’ve no right to judge her as I’m certainly no monk, and women have needs just like men. Especially when living on the edge when surviving another day isn’t a given.

“I was in control of my life, strong, capable. Right up until I wasn’t.”

“You were captured,” I remind her.

“But they didn’t treat me like one of the men.” She pulls against me and I let my arms drop immediately, thankful when she nears me again, turning to voluntarily rest her cheek against my chest. “They stripped me mentally and physically. At first, I’d fight them, but then realised to them it was a game.” Her hands curl into my shirt. “They made me nothing more than a weak, defenceless woman. They fucked with everything in my head.” She raises her eyes to mine and now gets to the point of this conversation. “Let me go into the Dominators’ club, Chaz. Let me take that risk. It doesn’t matter what happens to me. Helo is already dead.”

If she’d punched me, I couldn’t have reeled more. How can this beautiful person in front of me think she’s been reduced to nothing worth living for? I try to put myself in her place. What if I was stripped of my rank and my club? What if I’d been tortured and kept as a prisoner? I’ve known brothers who served who’ve come back under such circumstances and were never again right in the head. While my immediate inclination is a rebuttal of everything she’s said, I know I have to choose my words very carefully.

“You’re right. You’re not Helo the Night Stalker anymore.” Even though she was the one to say it, she tenses as if she was expecting me to say the reverse. “You’re not someone less, nor someone better. You’re just someone who’s been transformed.” As she goes to speak, I shake my head. “Let me tell you about Queenie, the woman I’ve met. She’s brave, fearless, transcends her difficulties.”

“I—”

“My turn,” I remind her, waiting for her acquiescent nod. “I understand more than you know about not having space for a relationship in my life. I may not have had to fight because of my gender, but I’ve had to be the best, to deserve to be this club’s president and ensure I give all to the club every day.” Though I’d been at risk of throwing that all away. I still find it unbelievable how little that matters. “Our pasts shape us, they don’t define us. You deserve to be the person you’ve become, and not be burdened by your past, but stronger for it.”

Queenie—yeah, she should leave all prior labels behind her now, she’s my queen, or hopefully will be—stares into my face. Her mouth works, but for a moment she doesn’t know what to say. Instead of words, her fist comes out and punches me lightly in the chest, then she does it again.

“I don’t know what you’ve done to me, Chaz,” she finally begins. “You don’t scare me, and I want to be close to you. I want you to touch me… I’m just so fucking scared that I won’t be able to…”

“Hey.” I cup my hand under her chin as her voice trails off, forcing her to look into my eyes. “That I’m aroused doesn’t mean I need to do anything about it. I can wait until you’re ready.” I swallow hard. “I can wait a lifetime for you.”

“But what if I don’t want to wait?” As I raise a querying eyebrow, she continues, “You don’t want me to walk into that den of vipers alone, and I’m not going to stand by and let you take the risk instead of me. Whatever we do, the chances are that one or the other of us aren’t going to come out of this alive. Before I die, I want to again have sex on my own terms, to remind myself what it should be like.”

She’s not going to die, I vow. But if I take her place, I might. It’s a big temptation to take what she’s offering while we can. I don’t like thinking of the men who took advantage of her, but I don’t even want to consider any men she had before she was captured. I know she’s got a past, just like I have, but if we do this, if we actually go there, then there are two things I’m sure of. “When I finally get inside you, I won’t be evoking memories,” I growl. “You give yourself to me and I’ll take you to places you’ve never dreamed of.” I pause, make sure I’ve got her full attention, then add, “But it would be no fuckin’ goodbye. This is the start of something. If you give yourself to me, it’s for fuckin’ life. I’ll want you to be my ol’ lady, maybe even my wife.”

I might have surprised both of us with that statement, but know immediately as the words leave my mouth, every single fucking word is true. I’m not going to let Queenie slip through my fingers. For that, I’m going to need her to stay very much alive.

“And,” I continue, watching as her jaw drops to the floor, “it will be no quickie out here in the wild. It will be in my bed, and it won’t be fucking. It will be making love.”