Chapter 15 Nathan
NATHAN
Ipush down my panic over the searing pain in my wrist. The last time I dared take a peek at it, the bone looked all weird and was definitely not where it was supposed to be. I don’t think it’s going to be any different when I look at it again.
Evan is sitting in the ambulance on the bench opposite mine, his head down. His eye and lip are already starting to swell.
We play Cornell tomorrow. We’re in the middle of the Ivy and weeks from regionals and I’ve probably broken my wrist. Even if it’s not broken, it’s definitely sprained—and I won’t be holding a racket by my first match. My eyes fill and I sniffle and wipe my face with the back of my hand.
We’re separated at the hospital while I go to get some scans. The painkillers the EMT gave me are starting to kick in. The pain is subsiding a little and I feel woozy. But that panic is gnawing at the back of my head. Clawing to get out.
“Where’s Evan?”
“Your friend’s just getting some tests. He took a few knocks to the head. We want to make sure there’s no concussion.”
“I don’t know if he has insurance.” I don’t think I was supposed to say that, but the meds are making my tongue loose.
The nurse props my pillow up, her expression never changing from neutral.
“Don’t you worry yourself about it, we’ll figure all that out later.
You just relax and wait for the doctor.”
I’m taken in for a scan before being chaperoned back to my bed. When my phone is returned to me, I have a ton of missed calls and messages from my mom.
Fuck.
I hit call, still feeling a little out of my head.
“Nathan, Jesus, why didn’t you answer your phone? We’re on our way back.”
“On your way back from where?”
“The Bahamas!”
“Why?”
“Why do you think?”
I frown. “I don’t know.”
“Nathan, you were in an accident. The hospital called.”
“Why would they call? I’m fine. Seriously. I just hurt my wrist, it’s not a big deal. I had worse injuries doing stupid stuff when I was a kid.”
She sounds teary when she speaks again. “I told you to stay away from him. I knew you’d get hurt if you got involved with him again.”
“Mom, this wasn’t Evan’s fault.”
“So he was there?”
“These guys just jumped him, he didn’t even do anything wrong.”
“I can’t believe it.” It sounds like she’s muttering to herself now. I’m so tired, I could fall asleep sitting up. I let the phone drop onto the bed and close my eyes.
“Nathan! Nathan? Are you still there?”
“Hm? Mom, I’m tired, can I call you back later?”
“Baby, don’t fall asleep, you might have a concussion.”
I laugh, feeling giddy. “Ma, that’s a myth. You can totally fall asleep with a concussion."
"Nathan, put the nurse on, I want to speak to someone in charge.”
I press the end call button and put the phone on the table beside the bed, finally letting my eyes close.
When I open them again, I’m groggy and my mouth feels like it’s filled with cotton balls. Mom’s sitting in the chair by my bed. She looks tired and she isn’t wearing any makeup. I can’t remember the last time I saw her without makeup on.
The second she sees I’m awake, she jumps to her feet.
“There you are,” she says, giving me a thin smile. She brushes the hair from my forehead and strokes my head.
“Mom.” I try to get up, but a searing pain shoots through my wrist and I gasp.
Mom squeals before grabbing my arm.
“Careful, Nathan. Jesus!”
Everything comes rushing back. The fight. Evan getting hurt. Me trying to help him. My wrist.
It’s in one of those splint things and a wrist support. My heart sinks.
“The doctor said it’s broken. You’ll need a cast.”
Before I can say anything, the door opens and Bryce comes in carrying a Starbucks cup. He flashes me a look I can’t read before handing the drink to my mom and touching her cheek.
“Why don’t you go out into the waiting room and drink your coffee? I want to a have a quick word with Nathan.” When she hesitates, he offers her a smile.
“I’ll go easy on him, don’t worry.”
He waits until she’s left the room before taking the seat and leaning forward.
“Do you know how much you’ve upset your mother?”
I swallow back the tears.
“She cried her eyes out all the way back from the Bahamas.”
“You didn’t have to come back here.”
“She’s your mother. Of course she wanted to come back.”
I look at my wrist support and close my eyes. “If you don’t care about me, what are you doing here? Is it all just for Mom?”
“Of course I care about you. I’ve raised you, haven’t I?”
“I was already practically raised when you met her.”
He scoffs. “Please. You were a kid. And even if you were already in high school, you were definitely still rough around the edges.”
“I’m not some fixer-upper you can pour money into until it looks how you want it to look.”
“Is that all you think I’ve done? Pour money into you?” He blows out a disbelieving laugh and leans back in his chair. “You might not believe it, but I care about you, Nathan. I care about you and your mother very much. I wouldn’t have married her or adopted you if I didn’t.”
“You’re not my real dad,” I mutter.
“No. Where is he?”
I drop my gaze from him.
“Sorry. That was uncalled for.” He sighs, running a hand over his face, his palm scratching on the stubble lining his jaw.
This is probably the first time I’ve ever seen him unshaven.
When I still lived with them, he’d even come down to breakfast fully dressed and clean-shaven, even when he didn’t have to go to the office.
My voice is way smaller than I wanted it to be when I speak again. “Is Evan okay?”
His nostrils flare, but he’s calm when he replies.
“He’s still in the waiting room. I told him to leave. He refused until he could see you were okay.”
Something warms a little inside me.
“What is it about him that you can’t just turn your back on, Nathan?”
“What is it about my mom you can’t turn your back on? I’m sure I’ve caused you more trouble than you need, but you’re still here, for her.”
“And for you.”
“I love him.”
I look up to see his reaction. He swallows, blinking.
“Does that piss you off?”
“What?”
“That I’m bi?”
He snorts. “No. You have the wrong idea about me. It’s not his gender that bothers me and your mother, it’s the trouble he brings into your life.”
“But you know it was me who stole that car. How can you still blame him?”
“Have you been in any kind of trouble since you stopped seeing him? Until now, that is?”
I look down at my wrist in its splint. My voice is reedy when I answer. “That’s because I’ve had opportunities he hasn’t.”
“Don’t give me that. There are plenty of poor people who don’t commit crimes-”
“Don’t tell me about how you grew up with nothing again, I’m already in enough pain.”
He cocks an eyebrow.
“You don’t know him.”
“Okay.”
“He was only there the night I stole that car because I called him for help. And this.” I hold the arm with the wrist support up. “He told me to get back in the car when those guys showed up, but I didn’t.”
Bryce’s expression wavers at that. “Did they jump him because he’s queer?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think it was just that.”
Bryce takes a deep breath. “Apparently he wouldn’t name them to the police.”
“How do you know that?”
“Your mother spoke to his boss. If he gives us names, we can make it go away.”
I snort. “Who are you? Tony Soprano?”
“I meant legally, Nathan. How many painkillers did they give you?”
“A lot.”
He glances down sadly at my wrist.
“Your tennis season is over.”
My heart sinks. “Yeah.”
He leans over and puts his hand on my head. “You’re a good kid. I just want what’s best for you. That’s all your mother and I want.”
I have to bite back tears.
The door opens and a nurse comes in. “We’re ready for you, Nathan. Time to put the cast on.”
I turn to Bryce. “Can you please tell Evan I’m sorry, and make sure … ” I blush. “I don’t know if he has insurance. We owe him that much, at-”
“Go with the nurse. I’ll sort it.”