34. LEOPOLD
thirty-four
I had no idea what the fuck was going on, but I was pretty sure someone had hurt the hive. One of them wasn’t here, and that was where my thoughts went.
“Hive,” I said, looking at one’s tear-wet face. “There are four of you here. Is the fifth one okay? Is he safe? Where is he now?”
“A-at work.”
“Is he hurt?”
They shook their head.
“Okay. Can you get him into a 47 cab and come here?”
“That’s a good idea. We didn’t think of that. We should turn off the computer and send Xander a message.”
“We can do that later. Grab your stuff, open the app on your phone, and order a cab. Tell me the moment you get in.”
“You will stay here?” The question came from two mouths, both of them still crying.
“Yes. I’m not leaving you. Let’s get you upstairs, okay? I’ll get you some water.”
“No, we—”
“I won’t leave. I’m going to the kitchen to get you water. Go upstairs.”
But they all shook their heads, and so we all went to the kitchen where I grabbed two of the water bottles we used for work and finally headed upstairs with them. I got them to all sit on the bed that was still just my old mattress and pillows on the floor, and while they had calmed a little, they were still shaking.
“Hive. Tell me what’s going on.”
Two started crying all over again. I closed the one nearest to me in my arms, took the other one’s hand.
“W-w-we are s-so sorry. We think i-it’s phantom pain.”
“Phantom pain? Did you… Don’t tell me you lost one of you? Were you ever six?”
They shook their head no. That wasn’t it then, but something had scared them and done this to them, the most stable person I had ever known in my life, the person who had taken care of me at every turn, who was working three jobs while helping me with mine and painting Gran’s old room.
I decided to let them cry themself out.
“We’re in the cab,” one of them said.
“Okay. That’s good. Hive, please talk to me. I want to help. I can see that something is very wrong, but I don’t understand. You’re afraid, but I don’t know what of.”
More crying. After several more minutes, I thought I might have to repeat myself when I heard the front door and slow footsteps on the stairs. Then the fifth one was here, curling up next to me and burying his face in a pillow. What in the actual fuck?
There was nothing I could do though, nothing except hold them and wait.
“We’re sorry. We messed up.”
The one who’d buried his face in the pillow had spoken, but it was so quiet, I barely heard. I rubbed his back, slowly freaking out myself. This was definitely unusual, and something was very wrong.
“Can you tell me a little more?”
None of them were meeting my eyes, but the one I was still holding buried his face in my neck.
“We are so very sorry. We’re sorry. We didn’t think this would happen. We thought… We didn’t think at all.”
“That’s okay, hive. I can help you. Just let me.”
“No,” they said, this time with more than one, and they stirred, once more coming closer and holding on to me, still without looking me in the eye. “We’re not going to let anything happen to you. No matter what, he will never touch you. We’re going to make sure of that.”
“Who, hive?” Whoever they were talking about, that person needed something really fucking bad to happen to them if this was how the hive reacted to them.
“We’ll tell you. We know we have to. We’ll tell you, but you must remember that we are sorry. We knew we were being deceptive, but we still did it. We are so sorry.”
“Hive, it’s okay. Oh, my love, look at me, it’s okay.”
But they didn’t, wouldn’t. They nestled close though, weren’t pushing me away or anything like that. I had no idea how to put their mind at ease or keep them from going back to crying.
“We… It was some time ago. It doesn’t matter how long. Before we met you. It wasn’t here, not in the jurisdiction of the Hawthorne night court. There was a human, and we’d met him a few times before this. He told us he could give us a wonderful opportunity for work.
“He was not a good person, Leo. We didn’t see that outright. He took us to meet that human , and…the details don’t matter. He had lots of money, had lots of money come in from illicit trading and other things.” The hive laughed a humorless laugh. “He called it an investment portfolio. We said we didn’t want anything to do with it because it was all illegal.”
They went back to being silent and still shivering all around me, holding on to me. A tear fell from their cheek to my neck, sending cold shivers down my spine as I held them.
“He didn’t just want our skillset. We didn’t really understand. He drugged us, some of us. That was very bad. He had helpers there. Then he put two of us in a room and said the other three would be responsible for the money, but the two, the two… He had a key for the room, and we could never get to it, and whenever he was in the mood, he would come into the room and lock the door and use the restraints if we refused him. Leo, we are so very sorry. We didn’t want any of it, we swear.”
The meaning of their words landed like a gut punch. I wasn’t sure I understood although I understood. I was trembling myself now.
“You were locked in a room. And that person assaulted you?”
They nodded, but only with the one who was clinging to me as if he’d fall apart if I let go of him.
“He used to say we liked it because we got hard, but we didn’t. We swear we didn’t. We didn’t want to lie to you, but we were so scared. We know this taints us, and we know you have the right to loathe us and tell us you don’t want us.”
My heart dropped about a mile, and I was putting together that they had been, one, afraid I’d reject them over this, and two, been around me all this time with this thing weighing them down.
I had no fucking idea how they’d managed to keep it together, but I remembered when they’d started spending the night here and going to school with me, when they’d always looked over their shoulder and been watchful. I remembered all the times they’d talked about protecting me, and, idiot that I was, I’d thought they meant from Headprincipal Farrow or countless other supernaturals, maybe even from my own frail human nature.
But no. They had been scared shitless of this . And of me, of my reaction.
“Hive. I love you. I want you. I didn’t think being mated—being your gleaming one—would make me feel that way. I love you. I want you, and I’ll never leave you alone.”
That led to them going into rough crying mode again while also throwing their arms around me as much as they could. It was overwhelming, but who the fuck cared? I wasn’t the one who had been hurt. I wasn’t the one hurting. I was just this perfect hive’s stupid mate who’d ignored any and all signs that they weren’t doing as well as I thought they were.
On top of everything, it wasn’t like it mattered, like I mattered. They did, and only they. I was just going to have to do what I could and hope it was the right thing.
“The phantom pain you mentioned.” I stroked the head of the one who’d been crying on my shoulder. “You’re talking about the two who were locked in that room.”
They nodded, said nothing.
“This one?” I stopped stroking their hair and put my hand on their head so they knew which one I was talking about.
Another nod.
“Will you let me kiss you? Kiss this one?”
They shook their head, flinched.
“It’s filthy.”
“You’re not filthy. No part of you is filthy, and even if it were, I know where you keep the wet wipes.”
They didn’t laugh at that, not even with one of them, and that was a bad sign, a very bad sign. I kissed that one’s head.
“There. Not filthy. You don’t have to be ashamed, hive. You did nothing wrong. You did nothing shameful, and I love all of you.”
They were silent, shellshocked. So was I, to be honest, but I was still just their ignorant mate who’d given up his right to yammer or complain when I had been so fucking ignorant and unable to see my hive’s needs.
“Hive, I’m not going to work today, or to school. And you’re not either. I’ll—”
“No.” They sniffled, though the one whose hair I’d kissed remained unmoving, glued to me. “No, we have to work. We have to provide for you. We have to make sure… We have to provide. You are our gleaming one, and we will always do that, no matter what.”
“Hive, my love, I know you will, but you can take a fucking sick day, and you’re taking one today. Fuck, I didn’t mean to snap at you, but please. Take a sick day.” I swallowed and made the conscious choice of being a miserable, manipulative asshole. “I’d feel better if I knew where all of you are today, if I can see you.”
“A-are you sure, Leo?”
One of them blinked up at me, his eyes red, the blue standing out brighter for it.
“Yeah, I’m fucking sure. Will you rest here while I call everyone and tell them what’s happening? I won’t tell them anything too personal of course. Is that okay?”
I saw heads nodding and heard one of them say, “Okay.”
The one who’d been so clingy let go of me but coiled into the fetal position. I was angry with myself, so fucking angry about not having a proper bed for them, about making them go through this shit on the floor of my old fucking childhood room, and I dearly wanted to yell at myself or kick something, maybe even punch that vile man, but they were my mate, and anger wasn’t my job. Taking care of them was. I wasn’t great at that, but I would do what I could.