Five to Love Him (Phoenix Immortal: Hive #1)

38. FARROW

thirty-eight

“F arr, get your sticky fingers out of my glove box.”

Conrad, wearing a sleeveless T-shirt, black board shorts, and flip-flops, readjusted the car’s climate control that I had only just set to my own preference.

“I might if you will let me have the air condition settings I desire.” I pulled a ball gag out from behind several single-use packages of lube. “Oh, this is where you keep this.”

“I know where I keep what. Will you stop going through my stuff?”

“Perhaps if you stop dressing like a vagrant.”

Conrad leaned his elbow on the window and groaned. “Jesus fucking Christ.”

“I shall not be falling for that again, you ragabash.”

“Had to try.”

“Uhmmm, Principal Farrow?”

I turned in the rather uncomfortable sports car seat. “Yes, Xander?”

“Sir, I’m not sure I should be listening to this.”

“Nonsense. And look at you, Xander. Look at Xander, Conrad.”

“I saw him, but purple ain’t my color.”

Conrad glanced back at the werewolf yogi who had folded his long limbs into the back seat of his car.

“I don’t mean the color, I mean the fact that Xander here is appropriately dressed. He is wearing proper shoes, and he does not expose me to his underarm hair growth.”

Conrad chuckled. “I know you like to sniff it and lick it.”

Xander cleared his throat. “I really, really don’t think I should be listening to this. Are we almost there?”

“Almost, but we’re waiting for the lernean to get here too before going in,” Conrad said. He had personally organized the arrival time and meetup, something I trusted him to do even if his attire left everything to be desired.

“This feels a lot like an intervention,” Xander said.

“Nothing of the sort, my dear.”

Conrad’s telephone made a grating noise, and he looked at it, scrolled while driving.

“Have a care, Conrad. This is not how one should conduct himself while behind the wheel. Especially not in front of the young.”

“Oh, I prefer riding my bike places, Principal Farrow. Better for the environment.”

“Well, aren’t you a precious one, Xander? Conrad, isn’t he a most circumspect and responsible adult?”

“Farr, I’m not going to bike through this fucking city, and I’m not going to sell off my cars either. If there’s anything you don’t like about that, you can damn well get your own license or learn to ride a fucking bike yourself. That would be fun to watch.”

“You can’t ride a bike, Principal Farrow?” Xander asked.

I closed the glove box with more force than it needed and readjusted the air condition unit once more.

“Why would I have need of that? I let the suffragettes have the bicycle and contented myself with eating their suppressors. There was never a need for me to wedge myself into what they had claimed for themselves.”

“You’re such a lazy sack of bullshit, Farr,” Conrad said.

“Mind your station, Conrad.”

“Mind your mouth, or I’ll put that ball gag on you and lock you in the trunk.”

“Nope, oh no. I’m not watching that,” Xander said.

I clicked my tongue. “Conrad, you are scaring the pup. What is this, suburbia?”

The houses here had yards and neatly planted flowery things. I imagined the insides being just about as proper, and while it was one thing to uphold propriety at my school, this was quite another hell that I wished not to dwell in.

“Sort of. It’s where they live. Now shut your mouth for five fucking minutes while the lernean catches up with us. Star-Garbed, you been here before?”

“Yes. I’m helping them with their wallpaper and floor.”

“Good. You’re going first then. Oh my god, take your hands off the AC, Farr.”

“Language,” I said before I managed to stop myself.

Conrad cackled while putting the car in park and lifting his right arm to lean on his hand. It was showing off his unkempt armpits, and I was scared the pup might have quite the fit.

It was going to be five very long minutes, what with all the lacking decorum and the sensitive werewolf in the back seat. And with Conrad’s tempting armpit hair of course.