Chapter 29
QUENTIN
The high of San Francisco feels like a relic of another era, even if it was just days ago. There”s something about Seattle”s spring air—sharp and invigorating—that slaps you back to reality. And reality, at this moment, is me trying to figure out how to act around Carmina.
We went from stealing breaths between whispers to a professional cold front that would make Seattle”s winter jealous.
It”s been thirty-six hours since I laid my heart out, and all I”ve gotten back is radio silence.
I know I mentally agreed to this after the last day in San Fran. Agreed to put my focus back on the wedding. Agreed to being the Best Man I can be.
For Ry.
I agreed to pretending like I didn”t just spend the last few days naked and under hotel sheets with the woman of my dreams. Pretending she didn”t rip my heart out and stomp on it with her silence.
But damn, it”s hard.
Especially when my entire body is still buzzing from her touch. When every time I close my eyes, all I can see is her face, flushed and smiling as she whispered my name.
Every time I catch a glimpse of her, my heart races, and it’s impossible not to remember how she felt in my arms. How her lips tasted like honey and her body molded perfectly against mine.
It”s a special kind of torture, really.
By the time Friday evening comes—the night of Jen and Ry”s joint bachelor-bachelorette party on a yacht sailing the Puget Sound—keeping up this act of indifference is becoming exhausting.
As I approach the gleaming white yacht, I take in the sight of the Seattle skyline with its iconic Space Needle, bathed in the setting sun”s pink and orange hues.
The smell of saltwater and seafood fills the air, along with the sounds of laughter and music.
Twinkling lights and lanterns adorn the deck of the yacht, creating a warm glow that invites us inside. I smile as I spot Jen and Ry, surrounded by our brothers and friends, looking happier than ever.
It”s a perfect evening for a celebration.
And still, my mood remains somber.
Trying to shake off the funk, I board my twin”s Puget Sound boat party, dressed in a suit that feels too tight, with a cousin at my side who can”t seem to stop making jabs about our collective lack of dates.
If only that were the truth.
I have someone I want to be my date for the night. Who I want to be mine.
I know she”s here too, somewhere in the crowd. Looking stunning in whatever curve-hugging dress she chose for the evening. I could spot her from a mile away, even with the sea of people on this yacht.
But instead of searching the crowd for her familiar face, I head straight to the bar and order myself a drink. Or three.
Killian walks with me, leaning against the bar as I try to calm my racing thoughts.
”You okay, bro?” he asks, his voice barely audible over the loud music and chatter on the yacht. ”You”ve been off since you got back in town. The boys and I are starting to worry.”
I take a sip of my drink, hoping the alcohol will numb the ache in my chest. ”Just tired,” I mutter, not wanting to get into it with my cousin right now.
”No one”s buying that excuse anymore, Q. We know you too well.” He leans in. ”What happened out there in California? You catch the flu? Get dumped by that actress you were seeing last year?”
”No, and no.”
”Then what”s going on?”
”Nothing. Just... work stuff. Trying to get past it and get in the party mood.”
”Uh-huh,” Killian says, raising an eyebrow. ”More like killing the mood.” He shakes his head, his nearly shoulder-length hair swishing with the motion. ”You need to let loose tonight, Q. It”s a party, not a funeral. If you keep scowling like that, you”ll scare away even the possibility of a date.”
”Thanks for the pep talk.” I take a sip of my drink and glance around the yacht again.
”Who are you looking for?”
”No one.”
”I get it. I do. You”re here to celebrate love, not find it. Gotta admit, man. You pulled this party off like a pro.”
I give him a half-hearted smile, grateful for his efforts to cheer me up.
”Besides,” Killian continues, nudging my shoulder. ”You never know who might catch your eye tonight. Maybe it”s someone already here.”
I know Killian well enough to recognize his ”I”m up to something” tone. I look up just as he breaks into a grin. ”Christ, Kill,” I grunt. ”What have you done this time? Please tell me you didn”t sweet-talk some poor girl into coming here just to cheer me up.”
”When have I ever done that?”
”Remember last New Year”s Eve party? Or that blind date with the girl from your gym?”
”Oh, come on. That wasn”t my fault. She said she was into fitness and so are you. I thought you”d be a good match.”
”Yeah, but you forgot to mention her idea of ”fitness.” I spent the entire night trying to keep up with her intense workout routine. Three hours of CrossFit on a first date is not my idea of fun.”
Killian grins, clearly amused. ”Well, at least she got you moving.”
”Yeah, towards the nearest sofa to collapse. I still have nightmares about that spin class she dragged me to.”
Killian laughs. ”Okay, okay, you got me there. But this time, I promise it”s different. It”s legit.”
”Legit?”
”I may or may not have mentioned to a coworker that you were feeling down since you got back from San Fran, and she may or may not have offered to be your date. She”s smart, funny, and definitely not your usual type.”
”Killian, I appreciate the effort, but I”m not in the mood for a blind date tonight.”
”Who said anything about a blind date?” He straightens, looking over my shoulder. ”Now, fix that moping face. You planned this party. You deserve some fun. And here comes the fun now.”
I turn and my heart skips a beat when I see who”s walking towards us.
It”s Delilah, my date from Ry and Jen”s engagement party.
The one I told Carmina she didn”t need to worry about.
”Killian,” I whisper through gritted teeth. ”You have some explaining to do.”
Before he can answer, Delilah reaches us and gives me a shy smile. ”Hi, Quentin. I hope it”s okay that I came. Killian said you wouldn”t mind.”
I can feel my face heating up as I try to come up with a response that won”t reveal my anger. ”Of course not,” I finally manage, hoping my voice doesn”t betray me. ”It”s great to see you again, Delilah.”
I turn to Killian, shooting daggers at him with my eyes. He just winks before making a quick excuse to leave us alone.
”Sorry about that,” I say, trying to make small talk. ”It”s just been a long day and I wasn”t expecting... anyone.”
”I totally understand,” Delilah says sympathetically. ”But I”m glad I came. I had a great time at the engagement party and I was hoping we could get to know each other better.”
My heart softens at her words. But it”s out of the question.
I can”t get involved with anyone right now.
Not with someone like Delilah who is sweet and innocent and deserves better than me. Not when my heart is still aching for someone who, at the moment, doesn”t know what she wants.
”I”m sorry, Delilah,” I say, placing my drink back on the bar. I tighten my jaw. ”You”re a great person, but... I just don”t think it”s a good idea for us to pursue anything.”
Delilah”s face falls. ”But why?” she asks, her voice trembling slightly. ”Did I do something wrong?”
”No, no. You”re amazing. It”s just... complicated.” I glance over and spot a flowy white dress and dark hair. My heart skips a beat. I grab my drink, downing what”s left... just as Carmina”s eyes meet mine. I turn back to Delilah. “Complicated by the fact that I’m so in love with someone else that I can’t see straight.” I nod at the bar. ”Enjoy the champagne. It”s on me.”
Carmina looks away, but it”s too late. Shoulders squaring, I take a deep breath before walking over to the woman who”s been avoiding me for the last day and a half.
No more waiting. No more space.
No more indecision.
I”ve made my decision and I”m not letting her slip away again.