Chapter 5
T he sound of Saylor rustling around in the kitchen awakens me, and I peel my eyes open and stretch out on her couch. Since being here, I’ve been sleeping in bed with Saylor because … well, we’ve been having sleepovers since we were little kids.
For years, when I was with Richie, I wasn’t allowed to see my friend besides the few times she flew to California and surprised me. At first, it seemed subtle, like he wanted to spend time with me. Then, it started to become glaringly obvious he was controlling me. One good thing out of this entire mess is having my friend back.
Sitting up, I take note of the blanket draped over me, knowing she likely did that when she got home and found me passed out. My head aches, and my mouth feels disgusting and dry.
Hearing me moving around, she looks out at me and smiles. “Oh, hey, sleepyhead. Party a little too hard last night, did you?”
I don’t remember much after Smith left. I chugged down a few more drinks, and then I’m pretty sure I passed out. All before my best friend got home from work.
“Something like that,” I mumble, dragging my hand down my face. “I need coffee. In an IV drip.”
Grinning, she stands on her tippy-toes, takes out a coffee mug from the cupboard, and pours some coffee into it. When she shuffles around the kitchen, I know she’s fixing it the way I like it.
Way too much creamer. Way too much sugar.
She walks it over to me with a cup in her other hand for herself, and I take it gratefully. She plops down on the other end of the couch, pulling the blanket over her legs.
“Wanna talk about it?” she says, taking a sip from her mug .
Instantly, I want to shake my head, but then I stop myself. Sighing, I bite down on my bottom lip.
“I finally talked to my mom. But I couldn’t tell her.” I breathe out a silent, sad laugh. “I don’t know why I couldn’t tell her, Sails.”
The corner of her lips turns down, and her eyebrows pull together. Leaning forward, she sets the mug on the coffee table and moves closer to me.
“It’s okay, Gem,” she whispers, putting her head against mine. “When you’re ready, you will. Okay?”
“Yeah.” I scarcely whisper the word because, deep down, it seems impossible to tell my parents the truth. To tell anyone who isn’t Saylor the truth seems unbearable.
Her arms wrap around me, and she grabs the remote. “ Bridgerton ?”
I nod my head, tears welling in my eyes.
We spend the morning sipping coffee and watching our new favorite show. She doesn’t pry, and I don’t say much either.
I wish every person in the world had a friend like Saylor Sawyer. A true ride or die. A soulmate. A better half.
Because if they did, they’d never have to feel alone again.
“All right, so it’s been a wonderful day, and we both needed it and all; however, I should probably shower. I’m sure I look like ass,” I say, yawning even though all I’ve done today is watch television and it’s now late afternoon.
As I throw the blanket from my legs, Saylor stops me by putting her hand on my arm.
“Gemmy?” she pipes. “I have something to tell you.” Her eyebrows pinch together, and she chews her bottom lip nervously. “And I need you to promise me that you aren’t going to hate me for it.”
“Did you change your opinion that Coke beats Pepsi?” I joke. “Because, yeah, if so, we might have ourselves a problem.”
When she doesn’t giggle or even smile, I know something is wrong. I can read her like a book. I know when she’s going to say something that is going to suck to hear .
Turning toward me, she takes my hands in hers. “A while back, before I thought you were ever coming back to Maine and after I got hurt by someone … I applied for a travel nursing job in South Carolina. I didn’t think I’d ever get it.”
My heart sinks, and my eyes widen as I wait for what she’s going to say next.
“A few days before you got here, the hospital called and said I got the job.” A tear floats down her cheek, and her hands squeeze mine tighter. “I would have never applied if I had known you were coming home. I’m sorry.”
It stings, knowing she’s going to be leaving. For years, I was stuck in California without her, and it was the hardest part of being there. Not having my best friend sucked. But if she applied for the job, it’s something she wanted, and that’s all I need to know to be happy for her.
Moving my hands, I squeeze hers back and smile through my tears. “Sails, don’t say sorry because that’s incredible.” I sniffle. “I’m proud of you for chasing after your dreams.”
“I wish you could come with me, but the hospital set me up in a really small apartment with a girl who’s going to be my coworker. I just hate to leave you to find a place to live, especially when you just got here.” She sighs dramatically. “I know the last place you want to go right now is back to your parents’ house.”
She’s right; that is the last place I want to go. Well, not the last, but it’s certainly not my first pick either. Right now, I need to heal. I love my parents, and they love me, but I wouldn’t be comfortable going home at this point in time.
“Could I take the apartment over?” I shrug, looking around. “I mean, that way, it’ll be here if you ever want to come back.”
Grimacing, she pulls her hands back and wipes her cheeks. “The day after I found out I got the job, I was telling one of my friends at work—”
“ Coworker ,” I say, my lips turning up in a smirk. “I’m your only friend, right?”
She knows I’m teasing and rolls her eyes. We’ve always had an inside joke about having other friends.
“Yes, yes.” She nods. “I was telling my coworker , and she asked if she could take over my apartment because her lease was up.” She cringes. “I told her yes. Again … I didn’t know you were going to be here. Had I known, I would have turned down the job and kept my apartment.”
“And for that reason alone, I’m thankful you didn’t know I was coming here,” I say honestly. “Because this job? It sounds pretty incredible.”
“Thanks,” she answers shyly. “I have an idea, but I don’t think you’re going to like it.” She swallows. “Before I tell you, just know that it would make me feel better about leaving because I’d know you were safe.”
Standing up, I walk toward the small kitchen and grab a bottle of water from the sideboard because my best friend only likes room-temperature water. “I don’t like the sound of this,” I say practically under my breath, twisting the cap off and taking a sip. “Go on. Tell me this grand idea.”
She stands up and leans against the couch, chewing her cheek. “I think you should move in with Smith,” she answers. “His house is huge. Much too large for just him anyway.”
I snort, leaning over and putting a hand on my stomach as I laugh. When I stand back upright, she meekly stares at me, her eyebrows slightly raised.
“Oh fuck, you’re serious?” I utter, looking at my friend like she’s lost her damn mind. “You, like, actually think I should shack up with your brother. The same guy who slept with me for weeks upon weeks, let me tell him I loved him, and then slept with me again , only to ghost me days later. That same dude. That’s your plan?”
“Before he messed everything up, you two were friends,” she says sadly. “We were all friends.”
“Yeah, and if I had just kept my pants on, we’d probably all still be fine,” I deadpan.
I take another sip of water before catching her staring at me again.
Tilting my head to the side, I dip my gaze lower. “Really? You’re actually serious?” I huff out. “And just what do you think he would think of this idea of yours? He couldn’t wait to get away from me when he was eighteen, so I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t want me following him to where he lives now.”
My nerves only grow when her eyes look away from mine.
“He already knows, and he’s fine with it.”
“Oh. My. God,” I blurt out. “Saylor, what the fu—”
Pushing off the couch, she walks into the kitchen and cuts me off. “ Smith’s house has an actual gate to get up the driveway. There are cameras all over the premises and a state-of-the-art security system.”
She shrugs. “The truth is, Gem, you don’t know if Richie is going to come looking for you or not. If you ask me, a man that fucked up in the head”—she points to her forehead—“he isn’t going to just let you go that easily. I don’t want to be in South Carolina, worried about you. But if you go back to your parents’ house or get a place of your own, that’s exactly what will happen. I’ll be worried sick.”
She inhales through her nose, pushing her shoulders back. “I’m due to leave next week, but if you won’t move in with Smith—in a place I know you’ll be safe, with a man who I know will protect you at all costs—I’m going to call my new boss and tell her I’ve changed my mind.”
I simply stare at her, trying to call her bluff. The thing is, there’s no bluff to call because she means every word. Saylor would throw away this dream to make sure I was safe, and as much as I hate this entire arrangement, I can’t let her do that.
“How big is his house?” I grumble, my entire body growing annoyed at my new reality.
“Huge,” she says instantly. “So big that you could basically have your own wing.”
Slamming my bottle down, I narrow my eyes at her. “Fine. But you’d better not be exaggerating. If I have to live with your asshole brother, I’d better not be across the damn hall or sharing a bathroom. I’ll tell you that right now.”
Running toward me, she throws her arms around me and jumps against me. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” she squeals. “I’m sorry! But I love you!”
“Yeah, yeah,” I utter, not letting myself fully process what I just agreed to.
I’m going to move in with a man I can’t stand to even look at. And the reason why I can’t stand to look at him is because, deep down, I’ve never stopped loving Smith Sawyer.
Good thing he doesn’t love me. That would make this situation a helluva lot more complicated. This way, it’s cut and dry … ish.