Chapter 13
“G em,” Smith’s voice whispers, and I’m pretty sure I’m dreaming.
“Gem, wake up,” he whispers again.
This time, dreaming or not, I decide to pry my eyes open.
The second my eyes land on his, everything that happened last night—it all comes back to me. The nightmare, him waking me up … me asking him to stay with me.
Cringe.
I’ve tried so hard to hide how messed up I am from everyone, including him and even his sister. Now, he knows the truth. How could he not after last night?
He’s fully clothed, wearing the same thing he had on last night. He stayed with me, holding on to me tightly, and never once attempted to make a move.
He must know how truly fucked up I am and is scared—because the Smith Sawyer I know … he’s a move maker.
“Coach wants us at the stadium for a meeting. Do you want to ride with me? You can hang out in the truck or explore the stadium since it shouldn’t take long.” He brushes my hair away from my forehead. “If we leave in the next fifteen minutes, we can swing into Starbucks.”
“You should have led with that. Always lead with Starbs, Smith,” I say, my voice throaty. “Yeah, I’ll go.”
He grins, his eyes twinkling. He reaches down and pats Storm. “All right, get dressed, and I’ll meet you in the kitchen in a few.”
When he scooches off the bed, my mouth opens before I can stop it.
“Smith?”
Turning, he tips his chin up. “Yeah?”
My cheeks heat, and I swallow roughly. “Thank you … for last night. And for not making it a big deal today. ”
He keeps his eyes fixed on me, giving me a tiny nod. “No problem.”
Turning back around, he heads out of my room, and I sigh.
Every bit of resentment I built up for so long for that man … poof. Slowly but surely, it’s gone.
“I didn’t realize it was Bring Your Girlfriend to Work Day,” Logan chimes when we get out of our trucks at the same time and he sees Gemma in the passenger side of my truck. “I shoulda brought Maci along.”
I don’t correct him and say she isn’t my girlfriend as we walk toward the door. Before I step inside the building, I look back at the truck and wave to her. She brought her laptop and said she was going to check some emails and enjoy her iced coffee, which was the most confusing order I’d ever heard.
“Sawyer,” Kolt’s deep voice calls behind me just before I step inside the automatic doors.
I slow down, letting Logan go in without me, and wait for Kolt to catch up.
“Yeah?”
I didn’t necessarily tell him everything that was going on with Gemma, but enough so that he gets the idea. I made him swear not to tell a soul though, and I know he won’t go back on his word.
“What if he has a way of finding her? Like, somehow, he can track her down?” He utters the words as we walk inside, not wanting anyone to hear him. “How are you going to keep her safe?”
“She has a burner phone and never strays too far without me with her. My house is very safe, Kolburne.” I pause. “Besides, if that fuckstick is ever dumb enough to show up in Portland, I’ll kill him.” I swallow, knowing what I’m about to say makes me a fucking bad person. “Part of me hopes he does. Because if he was dead, I’d know for sure he’d never bother her again. ”
Kolt’s gaze flicks to mine, and he stares at me. “Then, you’d be in jail for murder, Smith.”
“Not if it was self-defense,” I point out. “Protecting myself or my girl.”
I can see the judgment on his face, but I don’t know why because if anyone so much as threatened to hurt Paige, he’d kill them in their tracks. He’s ruthless when it comes to his wife.
“I have another idea,” he utters, looking away. “One that won’t involve you being a murderer.”
“If I killed the monster who put those bruises and cuts on Gem’s body, I wouldn’t lose any sleep at night, Kolburne. That’s a promise,” I snap. “But go on and tell me this master plan.”
“If he is, in fact, looking for her right now, it’s probably because he thinks she’s alone.” He side-eyes me. “You’re in the public eye. If you put it out into the universe that she was your girlfriend, she’d be untouchable because everything she did would be high profile. And if he ever tried to come near her, he’d be in a world of shit because no amount of mommy and daddy’s money would hide it.”
From the few things I told him, one of them was that Gemma feared his parents would get his name cleared with their money and connections. But he’s right. I’m a professional athlete. If she were my girl, she really would be untouchable.
“You’re a smart man, Kolt Kolburne,” I say, grinning lightly.
“Yeah, well, she still doesn’t seem all that fond of you, so good luck convincing her to be your girl, Sawyer,” he tosses back. “Oh, and for my expert advice, don’t fucking pull any more pranks on me.” He gives me a warning glare. “I’m serious.”
“All right, all right,” I mumble, holding my hands up.
I stare across the table at Smith like he’s lost his mind because I’m fairly certain he has. We’d agreed that we’d live together as friends, or I’d move out. And yet, a moment ago, he propositioned me to be his girlfriend to keep me safe from my insane ex.
“I’m sorry, what?” I blurt out finally. “There are so many things wrong with what you just said. Like, one … I’m not your girlfriend. Two, I’m never going to be your girlfriend. And three, why would we put my face out into the media now? We’ve been doing pretty good at dodging any public attention.” I raise my eyebrows. “Are you trying to lead my psychotic ex-fiancé right to me?”
“Not my real girlfriend,” he says before winking, “unless you’re into it—”
“I’m not,” I deadpan. “Carry on.”
He frowns. “Okay, well, if you were my girlfriend, as far as the world was concerned anyway, that would make you a public figure. You know who typically doesn’t get kidnapped or attacked?”
“Public figures,” we both say at the same time.
“Yes.” He nods. “Don’t get me wrong; it’s pretty fucking clear your ex is one dumb fucker. But if we make everyone believe you are the girlfriend of one of the top defensemen for the New England Bay Sharks, no amount of money could ever save his ass if he tried to come after you.” His expression grows somber. “I’d never want to put you in harm’s way. But what happens when you get your license back? Or you want to go home and see your parents for a few days and I can’t go?” Reaching across the table, he puts his hand over mine. “At least consider it.”
I’ve lived with Smith for a week now, and in that time, we’ve barely spent any time out in public, mostly because I was afraid to be seen with him and piss Richie off if he ever found out. But Smith might be right; it might be the only way to keep Richie from trying to find me.
Yeah, he’d know where I was, but would he really be that stupid to mess with someone who was supposedly the girlfriend of one of the Sharks’ most beloved players? I’d hope not.
“Okay,” I whisper. “I think you’re right.”
I bring the straw from my water to my lips and take a sip. “But, Smith?”
“Yeah?”
“We can’t let the lines blur between what’s real and what’s fake, okay?” My eyes burn into his, as if I’m begging him to understand how important this is. “Things will get messy if we get reality mixed with something that isn’t real, okay?”
He’s unsure at first and maybe a little disappointed, but finally, he gives me one tiny nod. “Yeah, you got it.”
Good. I’m glad we’re on the same page.
My heart hardened after I lost Smith the first time. If I went through it again, I think it might turn to stone.
“One more thing,” he says, almost nervous mixed with amused.
“What’s that?”
“What do you say we make our big debut as a couple at my away game this weekend?” He rubs his chin, raising an eyebrow. “I have a game in Tampa, and it’d look awfully good if you went and were in the stands, cheering on your talented and incredibly good-looking boyfriend.” He winks.
“Tampa?” My mouth hangs open. “Seems excessive for our first task as a couple, no?”
“Gem, it’s cold as fuck here. It’s gray and dreary.” He widens his eyes. “Come on. You know Florida sounds good.”
I sigh because he’s right. It does sound nice. Today, in Maine, it’s windy, and the air almost chafes your face, it seems. In Florida, I could walk along the beach and feel the hot sand between my toes. Even thinking about it is making my chest warm inside.
“You’re right,” I say, shrugging playfully. “It does sound nice. And … it would make a bold statement.”
He seems pleased with my answer as his eyes twinkle with delight. “It’d make an even bolder one if you showed up in my jersey.”
“Hey now, don’t push it.” I roll my eyes, but still, I can’t wipe the stupid smile from my face.
He’s dangerous … but in a completely different way than the last man who hurt me was.
Still, I find it just as scary.