twenty-two
#1 at the Box Office:Scream 2
Vivienne Delacroix
On Sunday evening, I’m at my desk trying to figure out a calculus problem and how to stop thinking about Sebastian Swift, when my phone rings. I’m not proud of the fact that I dive across the bed for it like my brother dives for loose footballs on the field.
I am officially pathetic.
“Hello?” I ask, trying not to sound all breathy and stupid, even though it’s exactly how I feel. I haven’t heard from Sebastian since I dropped him off yesterday morning, but I’ve barely thought about anything else. This is why I said sex isn’t casual for me. Maybe I shouldn’t have told him that. Maybe it freaked him out, and that’s why he hasn’t called. God knows it’s not serious for him.
“Hey,” says a familiar voice after a short pause.
“Chaz?” I ask, sitting up and straightening myself, feeling as foolish as if he saw me do that flying leap for the phone.
Chaz and I were sensible. We didn’t love each other in the flying leap kind of way.
“Yeah,” he says. “Of course. Who’d you think it was?”
“You,” I say, since I have caller ID. I just didn’t bother checking in my manic grab for the phone. “Of course. What’s up?”
“We’re having quiz bowl practice at my place on Tuesday,” he says. “I thought maybe you’d want to come.”
“Oh,” I say, winding the cord around my finger. My parents got me my own line, with caller ID, but they were too cheap to get me a new cordless, so I inherited the old phone when they got the new one for the living room.
“So… You down?” Chaz asks. “I know it’ll be awkward at first, but I figure, we’re in all the same extracurriculars, and we’ve known each other for years. That doesn’t go away just because we broke up. I thought I’d be an adult about it and suggest that we can still be friends.”
“And how does Krissy feel about that?” I ask.
“We’re all adults,” he says. “She understands there’s nothing between us anymore.”
Nothing between us. No matter how much fun I’ve had with Sebastian, and god, how good the sex was, I barely know him.
I’ve been friends with Chaz for years. I’ve shared my insecurities, my fears, my dreams.
The only thing I’ve shared with Sebastian is my bed.
Okay, that’s not quite true. He knows about my family, my brother, my colleges of choice. But I always knew it wasn’t real or permanent. It was an arrangement to bring Chaz back to me. Maybe it’s finally working.
I should be more excited about that, but all I feel is a hollow pit in my stomach. I wanted it to be Sebastian on the line, not Chaz.
Which in and of itself is silly. He doesn’t even have the number for my line. He has my brother’s line, and it’s not like he can call Rob and ask for my number. Would he?
He’s just crazy enough that I wouldn’t totally put it past him.
But Chaz has my number already. He doesn’t have to do anything risky to get it. He’s safe, responsible, and reliable. He didn’t sleep with me and then leave me to wait for his call and wonder for days at a time.
“Sure,” I say, straightening my spine. “If Krissy’s okay with it, then I’m in. What time?”
“Great,” he says, and I can hear the smile in his voice, familiar after so many phone conversations with him. “Come over right after school. Mom will have snacks and probably order pizza. I’ll make sure she gets cheese for you.”
“Cool,” I say, the familiarity of the evening he described making me feel awkward instead of comfortable.
“Yeah, cool,” Chaz says quietly.
There’s a long silent pause.
“Guess I’ll see you then,” I say.
“Yeah,” he says. “And listen, Viv… I’m sorry about how things turned out. I’m really glad you’re coming over, though. I… I miss you.”
I swallow hard. “I miss you too,” I admit.
After we hang up, I go into my bathroom and stare at myself in the mirror. What am I doing? This is what I wanted. For Chaz to miss me, to see I’m someone worth fighting for, someone worth missing.
It worked.
But instead of being happy he might want me back, all I can think about is how much I want to call Sebastian and crow that we won.
We’re close to victory, anyway.
Rob knows, and I could tell him. But even after the questionable things Sebastian’s done, he’s the only one I want to talk to. I’m so confused by all of it that I can’t think straight. I want him, and I want him to call, and the sex was… Devastatingly good.
But I’m also pissed that he bulldozes over my rules like they don’t exist. I was so shocked when he started having sex with me that I didn’t know how to feel. And I felt violated when he did that in front of his friends at the quarry, made me beg like that.
But at the same time, it felt good—more than good—to be seen at my most vulnerable. There are no words to describe the insane level of pleasure he brought me. I didn’t know I was capable of feeling like that, of feeling that much, of being so present in my body that my mind shut off. I’m the rational type, my brain always going. My body is somewhat of an embarrassment to me, something to be tamed and controlled and excused for its animal qualities.
Bodily functions are shameful things to be hidden. Orgasms happen quietly under the covers at night when I’m alone. They’re silently fumbled for in the dark with another person but never quite achieved. They’re not screamed out in public. Wetness is something to be blotted away, not shown off to friends. Cum is something to be discretely cleaned up, not admired as it drips out or shoved back in.
It scares me the things Sebastian does, the way he makes me feel. The way I act when I’m with him, like I’m no longer in control of my body, like I’m a person controlled by pleasure instead of rational thought. Like I’m stupid.
Is that how he feels all the time, controlled by animal impulses instead of his own willpower?
I remember him pounding into me, and heat glows between my thighs. I’m still sore, but I slide a hand down my body and into my sweats. I stroke my finger over the soft curls of pubic hair he petted before he spit into me in front of all his friends. Wetness tingles to life at the memory of that dirty, demeaning thing he did—and how much it turned me on.
I pull my hand out of my pants, scrub with soap and hot water, and return to my room. After lacing up my shoes, I go downstairs to our home gym and run on the treadmill until I’m drenched in sweat and my legs are wobbling with exhaustion instead of the memory of Sebastian buried between them, pounding into me, making me lose control… And my mind along with it.
*
“Put your arm around me,” I hiss to Sebastian on Tuesday after we take our seats at our usual table.
“Why?”
“Because that’s what boyfriends do,” I whisper.
He gives me a sullen look, but he slides an arm around me as Chaz and Krissy walk in together. “Oh, that’s why,” Sebastian says, pulling me in and lifting my chin. He leans in to kiss me, but I turn my head at the last second so his lips land on my cheek.
“Not the lips,” I murmur.
“Lighten up, prude,” he says. “It’s not like I’m finger fucking you under the table.”
When I pull back, Chaz’s gaze is on us, a frown darkening his brow.
Krissy says something to him, and he looks back at her, confusion written across his face. She hisses at him, looking pissed, and stomps to her table with Tommy Hertz.
“Hey, Viv,” Chaz says, stopping at our table. “We still on for tonight?”
“I guess?” I say, glancing over at Krissy, who’s glaring daggers at me.
Tommy sees me looking and makes a lewd gesture with this tongue between two fingers, like he does every time he sees me. At home by myself, the memory of how much Sebastian’s friends have seen sets me on fire. At school, the fact that they saw me lose control and hump his face until I came isn’t so hot. In fact, I have never hated Sebastian more.
“Cool,” Chaz says. “Come over any time.”
He walks away, and Sebastian raises a brow. “You’re going over to Nerd Boy’s house?”
“Yes,” I say, raising my chin. “Do you have something to say about that?”
“As a matter of fact, I do.”
“Well, keep it to yourself. We’re not together. You don’t get to tell me who to hang out with.”
“That kid’s a piece of shit. He cheated on you. Why do you want him back?”
“It’s really none of your business.”
“Actually, it is,” he says, gripping my knee under the table. “If you want me to be your fake boyfriend, fine. I’ll fake it better than you have to when Chad fucks you. But you’re not going to make me look like a fool.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You think if you were really my girlfriend, I’d let you go over to your ex-boyfriend’s house? Fuck no. It’s bad enough that you’ve got me lying to all my friends. Now you want to cuckhold me in front of the whole school?”
“That’s not—”
“Of course it’s not what you meant,” he says. “You never mean anything because you never think about anyone but yourself.”
My temper flares, and I grind my teeth and glare back at him. “You’re one to talk. You clearly don’t care what I want at all. You just take what you want and assume I’m fine with it.”
He snorts. “If I was only thinking about myself, you wouldn’t have cum until you couldn’t walk straight all weekend.”
My face heats, and I glance around, noticing a few curious glances aimed our way.
“Can we not talk about this here?” I whisper.
“Why not?” he asks. “If you’re back with Nerd Boy, maybe a public breakup is just what we need. What should I say? I mean, you’ve probably already got the script written. Even a dumbass like me can memorize lines, right?”
“I don’t give you lines,” I protest.
He glares. “If I have to explain figurative language to you, maybe you’re not the person who should be tutoring me.”
“Maybe I’m not.”
We stare at each other for a minute, our gazes locked, both of us refusing to back down.
“Public breakup or private?” he asks at last.
“Private,” I say, hating the thought of what he might say in front of everyone, considering the things he said when we were supposedly dating.
“AV room,” he says, standing and storming into the familiar room.
I follow, my footsteps heavy with dread, trying to remember how we got here.
The minute I step into the room, he slams the door and backs me against it. “You really want that asshole back?” he demands, grabbing my chin and forcing my eyes to his.
“I don’t know,” I admit. “I didn’t think so, but… Maybe?”
“What the fuck, Viv?” he asks. “I thought you were supposed to be the smart one.”
“This was all for him,” I remind Sebastian. “That’s why we’re doing it in the first place.”
“Bullshit,” he says, grabbing my hair and yanking my head back. He thrusts his other hand between my legs. “This has nothing to do with him and you know it.”
“It does,” I insist, because I can’t let myself trust him, can’t let myself believe it’s something more than that. It’s too complicated with him, too scary. Chaz is safe and familiar. This is… Not.
“It doesn’t,” he says, nipping at my lower lip. He rolls it between his teeth, running his tongue along it and then sucking.
I gasp with pleasure, and he massages between my thighs until I’m whimpering for more. Pulling back suddenly, he undoes my jeans and yanks them down in one motion, going to his knees in front of me.
“Sebastian,” I protest, my gaze flying around the room. “We’re at school.”
“I don’t care where we are,” he says. “I’m fucking you right now, and I’m not waiting.”
He spits on his hand and slicks it between my legs, rubbing his cold fingers through my folds and making me shiver. His other hand unzips his jeans and clumsily shoves them down. Then he thrusts both arms between my legs and stands, pinning me to the door with my knees hooked over his forearms.
His mouth crashes against mine, his hot length grinding against the exposed flesh between my thighs as he rocks us against the door.
“Away from the door,” I order. “People will know what we’re doing.”
“Good,” he says, reaching down to guide himself into my slick heat. “If it were up to me, I’d turn on the video cameras and put it on the announcements for the entire school to see.”
I tense, sucking in a long, shuddering breath as his girth stretches me open and he sinks in all the way. The ache inside me has my thighs clenching, but he doesn’t pound into me as I expected.
“On second thought,” he whispers, leaning in to kiss away the crease between my eyebrows from the painful intrusion. “I’d rather be the only one who sees you like this. I don’t think I’m ready to fight off every guy in school. It’s bad enough that I’m going to have to fight your brother at some point.”
“Can we not talk about my brother right now?”
“Your wish is my command, Princess Prude. Let’s not talk. Let’s just fuck.” He draws back and rams up into me so hard I see stars. My head falls back against the door, and he slams me into it with enough force to rattle the thick wooden door on its hinges again and again. Like before, the thought of everyone knowing has me halfway embarrassed, and halfway so hot that I can feel my arousal trickling down my ass before I even climax. Sebastian keeps his arms under my knees, bracing one hand against the door and using the other to keep my back from crashing against the hard surface as he drives into me with bruising force.
“Sebastian,” I cry. “I’m going to cum.”
“Watch your cunt taking every inch of me,” he growls, pumping harder. “Tell me that little shrimp fucks you this good. Tell me he makes you feel like this.”
“He doesn’t,” I gasp out, watching his thick cock disappearing inside me. I reach down, stroking my clit.
“Take my cum,” he growls, his thrusts becoming erratic. “Tell me where you want it.”
“Pull out,” I cry, trying to rise up.
“Wrong answer,” he says, driving me back into the door and grabbing my hips, wrenching me forward and impaling me so deep I strain to take him completely.
“Inside,” I gasp out, my core clenching helplessly around him as orgasm takes me.
He groans, his hips jerking and his cock pulsing wider, stretching me deliciously before his cum spills, filling my depths in rhythmic pulses. He squeezes my ass in both hands, grinding and grinding, his breath ragged against my neck. I drop my head back with a thump, trying to catch my breath. A sheen of sweat coats my entire body, and my walls keep squeezing him, as if they can’t let him go just yet.
“Fuck,” he whispers breathlessly against my ear. “I’m stupid for you, Vivienne Delacroix.”
“I think I’m the one getting stupider.”
“You may be the one getting your pussy fucked, but I’m the one getting my head fucked,” he says, slowly untangling his arms and letting my feet down to the floor. I don’t think they’ll hold me, but he keeps me pinned, cupping my cheek and claiming my mouth with deep, slow kisses. After a few minutes, he pulls back and gives me a small, dimpled smile.
“How was that for a performance?” he asks, stroking my cheekbone with his thumb. “Think we convinced them we’re having angry makeup sex?”
“I’m not sure we need to actually do it to convince people,” I point out, wondering how on earth I’m going to walk out of this room and face everyone right now. If the librarian heard us, I’m about to be suspended, and that would take some serious explaining to my family. Thank heaven I already told Rob we were faking it, so I have someone to back me up and say it’s all for show.
“The best lies are the ones that are half true,” Sebastian says, tucking himself away and buttoning his jeans. “Think I should leave my jeans unzipped?”
“That seems like overkill,” I say, rolling my eyes as I get myself put back together too.
“Yeah, you’re right,” he says with a grin. “Though I didn’t notice you having the same objections to me putting our sex tape on the announcements.”
“Shut up,” I say, straightening my shirt and touching my lips to see if they’re swollen.
“I think you’re a bit of a voyeur,” he teases.
“That’s when you like to watch,” I point out.
“Oh right,” he says. “And you like people to watch you. Or maybe you just like them to know you’re mine.”
“After the racket we made in here today, I don’t think anyone will have any doubts.”
“Good,” he says. “When you stop having any doubts, we’ll be set.”
He opens the door, and we emerge into the library to all the whispers, knowing looks, and stifled laughter I dreaded and then some.
Sebastian takes my hand and leads me toward our table. On the way, he tips his chin at Chad. “She won’t be coming over tonight after all,” he says with a cool look. “And if your fights ended with a breakup instead of that, you never deserved her in the first place.”