Foolish Games: A Brothers Best Friend Fake Dating Romance

twenty-eight

Sebastian Swift

“What was Rob talking about back there?” Lexi asks when I climb into the truck with them. “You weren’t really dating Vivienne?”

“No,” I admit. I don’t bother explaining more. There’s nothing to say.

“Dude, give us back our money,” Tony says, reaching forward and punching my shoulder hard enough to leave bruises.

“I fucked her,” I say, turning to the window, where a few drops of water are trickling down the glass on the inside from a leaky seal. “But we were never together.”

I couldn’t give the money back anyway. I don’t have it anymore. I don’t have her.

I don’t have anything.

I glance over my shoulder through the rain-streaked window as Billy pulls down the driveway to the black iron gate. Outside, the Darling mansion looms huge and dark, faint light spilling from a few upstairs windows. I wonder how Viv’s doing, if she’s getting shit from the people we lied to. I hope they don’t give her a hard time.

“But the rest was all fake?” Lexi asks. “You just made up that shit about her being your girlfriend?”

“Pretty much.”

“Why?” she demands.

“Because she wanted to get back at her ex,” I say. “And she’d never really date a guy like me.”

“I thought she liked us,” Lexi says, drooping back against the seat. “I thought she was my friend.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You should be,” she snaps. “I tried to make her feel included every time we hung out. Now I feel super lame. All along, she was just faking it. I should have known Sebastian Swift could never keep a girl interested for more than a month.”

I wince as her words hit home. They’re all true. My friends know that. And if I’d told them the truth, they would have pointed them out sooner. Maybe that’s part of why I kept it secret. I liked hiding it. That way, I could pretend it was real, that a world existed where I could be worthy of Vivienne Delacroix, even if I’ve never had a long-term relationship and I don’t go to church every Sunday or know where my dad is.

“It’s okay, Lex,” Billy says, throwing an arm around her neck and pulling her in for a hug. “I didn’t know either.”

He scowls at me over her head as we wind along the narrow, two-lane road toward the bridge.

“It’s not okay,” Lexi says, glaring at me. “You made a fool out of me. Out of all of us.”

“Yeah,” Billy says. “You told Rob about this whole set-up, but you didn’t tell us, when we were the ones hanging out with her all the time. Guess I see how it is.”

“He’s her brother,” I point out. “We didn’t tell her friends either.”

“Yeah, because she don’t got friends besides us,” he says. “Look, I get you pretending to be her boyfriend, that’s y’all’s deal. But we didn’t agree to pretend to be her friends. We wasn’t faking, Bash. We didn’t know you were using us in your little game.”

“You didn’t have to pretend,” I point out.

“Look, I get used enough every fucking day by people on that side of town,” he says. “I didn’t think I had to worry about it from my own friends. I thought you were one of us.”

I have no defense. I lied to them, and maybe I did use them. It was never my intention, but I was so intent on making Viv look good that I did it at their expense. I had to win, to prove to myself I could do it, at the expense of everything else. They were my real friends, the ones who were supposed to last, and I threw them under the bus for a relationship that could never have lasted, even if it had been real.

Billy pulls up to my house a few minutes later, after a long stretch of tense, resentful silence. It’s not even midnight, but if this is how the year is ending, I’m not sure I want to stay up to see how the new one begins. I stumble inside and crawl into bed, not bothering to take off my damp clothes or shoes.

The next day, I go through the motions, getting the kids breakfast since Mom is still asleep after working all night. Then I crawl back under the blankets. The next few days pass in a haze. Deane crawls into bed one night and loops his skinny arms around my neck.

“Are you sick?” he whispers.

I think about Melody with her headphones on, lost in her music. I wonder if she’ll even notice I’m not making her macaroni and cheese tonight. She’ll probably be glad I’m not there to mix hamburger with it and gross her out. “I think so,” I tell my brother.

“Am I going to get it?” he asks.

“I hope you never do.” I press my lips to his forehead and smoothing out the furrows.

“I’m hungry.”

“I left the cereal on the table,” I say.

Today’s the first day I knew that once I crawled back into bed, I wouldn’t be getting up. I know I’m failing them, not taking care of them and being the man of the house like I’m supposed to. But I already knew by breakfast that today was the worst day yet, that I wouldn’t be able summon the energy to cook them dinner. I wasn’t sure if Mel could, and I didn’t want the kids to hurt themselves climbing up on the counter to get down the cereal. Guess I’ve become the kind of guy who makes six-year-olds get themselves dinner because I’m too lazy to do even that much.

For the first time since he left, I understand Dad. Because all I want to do is disappear, too.

*

The thought of seeing Vivienne again fills me with dread, but I must have some masochistic tendencies, because it’s the only thing that gets me out of bed and back to school the morning after break. I look for her in the hall and hurry to science in hopes she’ll still be in the classroom. At lunch, she doesn’t show up at our table. Of course not. The only reason a nerd would be accepted at the jock table is when they’re dating.

“Where’s Viv?” I ask Robert when I don’t see her at the nerd table, either.

“Don’t fucking worry about it,” he says, glaring at me.

“She okay?”

“She’s fine,” he says. “Better than fine. But you should go sit over there with the other losers. I think your welcome here is over.”

I glance around and see that a bunch of the guys are giving me resentful looks. They probably don’t care much that I lied to them, but I broke the code. I fucked my best friend’s sister, and if I did that, what would I do to the rest of them? I’m the fuck up, and if we’re taking sides, they’re all going to take Rob’s. Besides, he’ll be here next year, running the team and being the blueblood king. Football season is over, so I’m over.

I wait for someone to tell him to lay off, but no one does. All my friends play football. Without them, I’m as alone as Vivienne after she and Chaz broke up. It’s funny how that one thing can tie you to your friend group, and once it’s gone, they’re gone with it.

I toss my lunch and walk out. I’m not hungry anyway. I sit on the wide staircase in the middle of the lobby, the first thing you see when you come in the sets of doors at the front of the school. There are plenty of other entrances, but this is where I first saw Viv, four years ago. I still remember how cool she looked striding in, with her sexy bedhead and her elegant figure, prepossessed as not many freshmen are. I’d already been in the school, since football practice started before the rest of the school year, but I didn’t move with that kind of confidence. I was a scrawny little freshman who was lucky to make the JV squad.

But when I found out who she was, I was too intimidated to talk to her. A girl who looked like that, from a family like that, would never give me the time of day.

The next year, Robert started high school with us, and then we became friends, and I saw her around all the time, even went to their house. It was easier to talk to her when I got used to how pretty she was. It was easier to tease her, to treat her like an annoyance and keep my distance, since she was off limits. I couldn’t be with my friend’s sister, after all.

Now that I broke the rules, I remember why it was such a bad idea in the first place. I should never have pushed her further than she wanted to go. I told myself it was good for her, but really it was just one more way I had to win. And now it’s bitten me in the ass, and worse, it’s hurt Viv. That was never in the plan. We were supposed to keep things shallow, but there’s nothing surface about the way I feel for Vivienne. I’m in way too deep, and I never want to get out. I want to jump in with both feet this time, no faking it. I want to go so fucking deep we both drown.

On Tuesday, I go to the library during my study period just to see her. I can’t find her anywhere else in school, and I have to explain and ask her for another chance. I’ll go crazy if I can’t see her one more time. I don’t have tutoring this semester, but she’s there, sitting at our table in the library. Our eyes meet, and I’m that same stupid freshman kid who was too intimidated to talk to the gorgeous, cool girl. Someone’s already sitting at the table across from her, his back to me. When I reach the table, I’m surprised to see Robert.

“What are you doing here?” I ask.

“Waiting for your dumb ass,” he says, standing and glowering at me. “I need to have a word with you.”

He shoves my chest, and I take a step back. Here comes the ass kicking.

“Rob,” Viv cries behind him.

“Get in there,” he says, shoving me again, backing me against the door to the AV room. I remember fucking Viv in there, and how that was the first day we were really together. After that, we’ve been inseparable. Did she tell him?

He grabs the handle and yanks it down, and the door opens under my weight. I stumble backwards into the room. Adrenaline is coursing through me, but I don’t want to fight. I don’t deserve to hit back after what I did. Getting my ass kicked will be penance. I always knew it would happen, and I chose to proceed anyway. Now I face the consequences.

“Hey!” protests Chiclet, who’s at a computer at the back of the room. She’s sitting in front of a Wampus Cat painted onto the cinderblock wall, with a light aimed at her.

“Out,” Robert orders her.

“You can’t just come barging in here!” she says, standing from her chair. “I’m doing tomorrow’s announcements.”

“We’ll only be a minute,” Robert growls, grabbing the front of my shirt.

The girl huffs and leans down, messing with her equipment to get everything shut down. Then she flounces past us and out of the room. Rob kicks the door closed behind her, dragging me close and getting up in my face.

“What the fuck is this I hear about a bet?” he snarls.

Well, shit. I guess now that I’m no longer friends with the guys on the team, they’re not going to protect me.

“Nothing,” I say. “No bet.”

“Don’t fucking bullshit me,” Robert yells. “You fucked my sister!”

“I’m sorry, man.”

“You fucked my sister, and you took money for it,” he rages. “You bet the guys you could fuck her? Is that all she was to you? A fucking paycheck?”

“No,” I say. “I told you—”

“You told me it was all an act,” he says, shoving me backwards. I crash into one of the tables with two computers, and it scoots halfway to the next one, leaving behind a bundle of stretched cords and wires. “You said you were going to pretend to date her to make her look good after Chaz dumped her for that other nerd. You think it looks good that you were going behind my back, behind her back, and taking bets about who could fuck her?”

“Not who,” I protest. “Just me.”

“Fuck you,” he says, taking a swing at me. I duck instinctually, even though I should just let him beat the shit out of me. He’s right. I did everything he said, and worse.

“Don’t tell her,” I say, holding up my hands. “Just don’t tell her. She’d be crushed.”

“Don’t fucking tell me what will hurt my sister.” His second blow connects, and I reel backwards, tripping over the computer cords and falling onto the table between the two machines.

“Don’t ever fucking talk to her again,” he says. “Don’t fucking look at her. Don’t even say her name. You’re trash, and that’s all you’ve ever been. I took pity on you, but we’re not friends, Sebastian. I’m not hanging out with a loser anymore, and you’re sure as fuck not good enough to be even thinking about my sister. So don’t.”

With that, he turns and storms out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

I stand from where I crumpled across the table. My jaw aches where he hit me, but it could be a lot worse. The guy pulled his punch. He could have knocked my lights out—I wish he had. I’d gladly take that moment of oblivion. But I have to stop him from telling her. Not to protect me, but to protect her. It’s too late for me. She can’t dump me now that we’re not together. But I still don’t want to hurt her, don’t want her to feel the way she would if she knew.

I yank open the door and rush into the library. The front door is just settling closed behind Rob as he disappears through it. Everyone turns to look at me. I don’t know how much they could hear, if they could hear when he yelled. They know we were fighting though.

“Hey, Sebastian,” Chaz says, standing from his table with a smug little grin on his face. “You were right about Viv. She is a little freaky now.”

“What?” I ask, turning to Vivienne, who sits frozen, her dark eyes wide.

I shouldn’t be surprised. The whole purpose of our arrangement was to get him back.

“Yeah,” Chaz says. “She’s got some new moves. A definite improvement. I guess I have you to thank for that.”

I stride forward and punch him so hard he goes flying across the table and slides off the other side in a flaccid heap.

And that’s how you throw a punch that leaves more than a sore jaw.

A collective gasp goes up from the tutoring tables. Chiclet screams and runs to him, falling on her knees like she thinks I killed the asshole.

The librarian rushes back and yells at me to go to the office. I walk out without arguing. There’s no point. Everyone saw me knock him out.

I don’t regret it for a second. God, that felt good. I’ve been waiting four years to clock that smug bastard, but I never wanted to hit a kid so much smaller than me. But fuck size. He disrespected Vivienne, so all bets are off. I only wish he’d stayed up long enough for me to land another blow or two. I’m hopped up on adrenaline from my body getting ready to fight Rob but my brain telling me I couldn’t hit back at a guy who I wronged.

I didn’t wrong Chaz. I just set things right.

I leave school without going to the office and walk home. I set the stack of bowls in the center of the table and put the giant bag of cheap cereal Mom bought next to them. Then I crawl into bed. I’ll have a two-week suspension for fighting, maybe more for leaving like that. The school won’t care if I don’t come back for the rest of the year, though. After all, football season is over.