For Love of a Grump: A Grumpy Soft for Sunshine Collection

Chapter 13

Malcolm’s jaw throbbed like a bitch. So did his ribs. He knew from his brief glance in the bathroom mirror that he looked like absolute shite, despite Charlotte’s ministrations the night before, and he embraced it. Why not have the outside reflect the pain he felt inside? He’d barely even been able to look at Gavin this morning, too afraid to see the disappointment—or worse, fear—in the lad’s eyes. He’d sent the kid over to Charlotte’s barely after dawn and taken the coward’s way out, heading for work in the remotest parts of the estate. After everything that had happened, they wouldn’t be left alone, and hopefully, Simon was still in jail for a few more hours.

He’d been over and over the whole thing a thousand times, searching for what would have been the better path. The one that didn’t put the child or the woman he’d come to love in danger. But he hadn’t found it by the time dawn began brightening the horizon. If he’d turned Gavin over to the authorities from the beginning, they might have sent him back to Simon or to one of the less-than-ideal care placements. Chances were, he’d have run away again, and might have run afoul of any number of dangers that could’ve left him injured, traumatized, or worse. Malcolm and Charlotte would likely still have been at some form of sniping impasse. And he’d have carried on in the self-isolation that had saved his sanity, his heart still encased in ice.

Much as he longed for that numbness, he wasn’t willing to trade their safety to get it. So, no, he still couldn’t see how he could’ve done anything other than exactly what he’d chosen. And the two of them had wormed their way into his life, bringing that frozen heart of his back to life. Over the past weeks, he’d begun to shed the armor he’d donned so very long ago. It had been terrifying and exhilarating. And for a little while, he’d believed it would all work out. That maybe he’d finally paid enough penance, done enough to earn some salvation, to deserve to feel joy again. He’d begun to cautiously build a future in his head, when he hadn’t done more than look beyond the day or the season for decades.

But he’d been a fool, deluding himself that just because his position was morally right, the law would ultimately back him up. It had been a fantasy. One he’d embraced willful ignorance to maintain. And now, everything would fall apart. The threat of that inevitability had driven him to snag the whisky from the manor house. He hadn’t wanted to go into the village with evidence of his current sins painting his face in vivid shades of bruising. Now that he’d done the essentials of his work, he’d settled on a rock overlooking the loch for which the estate was named. The bottle sat within arm’s reach, as yet untouched as he wrestled with his demons.

He’d been wrestling with them for more than an hour. Long enough for his arse to go numb from where he sat on the cold stone, hunched into his jacket.

The rumble of an engine pulled him from his brood. He spotted another of the estate 4x4s coming up the narrow track. For a moment, Malcolm considered trying to hide the whisky. If it was Raleigh, that was hardly the best impression to give to his boss. But he was past caring. Maybe he deserved to be sacked so he could complete his descent into the pit of despair.

But it was Charlotte who slid from the driver’s seat, mouth pressed into a grim line.

Instantly, he looked for Gavin, but she was clearly alone.

Alarm had him shoving to his feet as she approached. “Where’s Gavin?” His pulse began to thud with dread. Had they already taken him? Had he lost his chance to say goodbye?

“With Raleigh and Kyla, for now. I need to talk to you.”

Assured of a temporary reprieve, Malcolm turned away, unable to look at her because she represented too much temptation. Every cell in his body wanted to wrap her in his arms and take the comfort he knew she’d offer. To give the comfort she’d needed last night that he’d denied her. But he had to stay the course.

“I’ve already said what I have to say.”

“Then you can listen, because I haven’t.” She came to stand beside him, looking down at the loch. “I met with Hamish this morning. He’s confident that Gavin won’t be going back to his father. There’s sufficient evidence that the judge is likely to put him into foster care.”

It was what he’d expected. The thing he’d been protecting himself from because the idea of losing another child absolutely cut him off at the knees.

“I’m pursuing special guardianship myself. Hamish is going to try to convince the judge to allow me to apply. I still have all the same things stacked against me. I’m not a UK citizen. I don’t have permanent residency status. But I’m going to try.” She turned to face him. He could see the pained lines of her face in his periphery. “And I’m probably going to fail unless you step up.”

Tension hunched his shoulders as her words sank in. But she just kept right on talking.

“You and I went into this together from the very beginning. We were on the same page that we would do whatever is necessary to protect that child. He gave us the commonality of purpose to get over our antagonism with each other to find our way to something wonderful. And you’re just throwing it away. Breaking that promise.”

At her accusation, he spun. “You think I want to let him go? Do you think the idea of that disnae leave me gutted?”

“No. I can see that it does. Just as I can see that you’ve given up. That you are so mired in memories and regrets from your past, you can’t see where you actually are. Who you actually are. So I’m here to tell you what I see. I see a man who unhesitatingly opened his home and his life to a child in need. Who overcame his natural reticence with people to be what that boy needed. I see a good father, a man who loves that child. A man I’ve grown to love. One who, I thought, cared for me.”

Her voice hitched a little, and he had to curl his fingers into his palms to stop himself from reaching for her.

“I don’t matter in this equation right now. The only thing that matters is Gavin. At the moment, I don’t care what happens between the two of us. Whether we figure it out or we don’t, I care about keeping our promise. We told Gavin that we would keep him safe. And the only way we can possibly do that is if you step up and do what you said you’d do.”

“What is it you think I can do?”

“There’s a court hearing tomorrow to have social services present their case against Simon. Hamish intends to present evidence that, despite all the legal precedent and the typical rules, the judge should allow him to stay with us. If it’s just me, the effort will almost certainly fail. But if you’re there, we stand a chance. Maybe it won’t work. Maybe he’s going into the system no matter what and we won’t get to see him again. But at least he’ll see us fighting to do what we promised.”

Malcolm’s chest tightened and his eyes burned.

Charlotte took a step closer and started to reach out. But she dropped her hand before touching him. “I know you’re scared, and I know you’re hurting because everyone who has ever mattered to you has been taken away or left. But I’m still here. And if you can get over yourself to do the hard thing, Gavin could be, too. The fact is, if you don’t man the fuck up, you will wonder for the rest of your life if something could have been done differently, and I don’t think you need any more ghosts.”

When he said nothing, she glanced down at the whisky bottle a few feet away. “You aren’t that man. Taking one night to drown in your grief doesn’t make you that guy anymore. And the last twenty years count for more than the two you lost yourself.”

His throat worked as he fought back emotion. He wanted to be the man she saw. Wanted to see himself as she did. But he didn’t know how.

Compassion and temper warred in her face before she stepped forward and pressed something into his hand. “This is the time and location of the hearing. I hope we’ll see you there.”

Without another word, she strode back to the 4x4.

Long after she’d driven away, he was staring at the empty road, processing what she’d said. Charlotte had never been someone who shied away from the truth. It was one of the things he loved about her, even when he hated being forced to face it.

She was right. Of course, she was right. He was so afraid of losing more people, he was removing himself before they could leave him—willingly or otherwise. In his pain and fear, he’d pushed her away when she was arguably one of the best things to ever happen to him. He was risking breaking one of the most important promises he’d ever made to a child who’d only ever known betrayal and heartbreak.

Malcolm wanted to be better. He wanted to give Gavin someone to count on, to believe in. And he wanted to be a man who was worthy of the love of a woman with a heart as big as an ocean.

As the certainty of that settled over him, he knew what he had to do.

* * *

Why weremunicipal buildings always gray? Had there been some international decision to make them as lifeless and devoid of warmth as possible? To remove the humanity from the proceedings taking place inside?

Charlotte tightened her hold on Gavin’s hand as they followed Hamish into the courtroom for the hearing. She hadn’t wanted him to be here, but as she wasn’t his mother, she didn’t get a say. After her experiences with Raleigh, she ought to be used to that. Hamish had pointed out that the judge would need to speak to Gavin to get his side of things before making a ruling. She understood the necessity, but she hated the anxiety she felt radiating off him in waves. Hopefully it would be in their favor for the judge to see exactly how afraid he was of being in the same room as Simon.

A young woman with sandy brown hair and glasses sat at one of the tables in front of the bench. She rose at their approach.

“Hamish.”

“Mhairi. I’d like you to meet my client, Charlotte Vasquez. And Gavin Elliot. This is Mhairi Mackenzie, from Children’s Services.”

Numbly, Charlotte shook the woman’s hand. She was too nervous about what was coming. As Mhairi turned a warm smile on Gavin, he tucked in closer to Charlotte’s side.

“It’s nice to meet you, Gavin. I know all of this is scary, but we’re all here to make sure you’re best taken care of.”

Not all of us.

Malcolm hadn’t shown. Charlotte was struggling not to reveal her incredible disappointment. She’d really thought he was going to come through. That he’d pull himself out of the dark to do what was needed. The man she loved was capable of that.

But maybe it was just a sign that she didn’t know him after all.

A door opened in the back of the courtroom, and she spun, her heart in her throat. But it wasn’t Malcolm. It was Simon, swaggering his way to the front with all his bad temper on display. A harried-looking man with a bulging briefcase followed behind. Given the wide berth he gave his client, Charlotte could only assume this was his public defender, or whatever Scotland’s version of that was.

Simon shot a lascivious leer in her direction. It was made somehow worse by the broken nose and livid bruising of his face. She just tightened her arm around her quaking child and prayed.

“All rise.”

As none of them were yet seated, they all turned toward the front of the court when the judge walked in. Her dark blonde hair was cut in a sharp bob that seemed to enhance her severe expression. With a glance out at the assembly, she nodded to herself and sat.

“You may be seated.”

Hamish had already explained that, as Charlotte wasn’t a legal guardian for Gavin, she wouldn’t be able to sit beside him for the proceedings, but she could sit in the front row of the gallery behind the rail.

She gave him one last squeeze and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “It’s going to be okay.”

He looked like he wanted to bolt, but he sat instead between Mhairi and Hamish.

Charlotte took her place immediately behind him, her pulse jumping.

The judge opened her mouth to speak, but the door at the back of the courtroom opened. They all turned toward this latest interruption. Charlotte’s heart shot into her throat as Malcolm strode down the center aisle. For the first time since she’d known him, he wasn’t in a kilt. He’d worn a full suit, and he looked as uncomfortable as she’d ever seen him. His face was painted with violence, but his shoulders were square as he hurried forward.

At the judge’s glare, he cleared his throat, tugging at the knot of his tie. “My apologies for being late.”

He scooted onto the bench beside Charlotte and sat, leaning forward to squeeze Gavin’s shoulder. The light and hope that flooded Gavin’s face had tears filling her eyes. She couldn’t say any of the things tumbling through her head, not with proceedings about to begin. But she took his hand, holding tight to those familiar, callused fingers. Malcolm’s gaze met hers, full of apologies and things yet to be spoken. All things for later.

They sat that way, hands clasped, as Mhairi and Hamish presented the case for removing Gavin officially from Simon’s residence. Though there was no direct evidence of abuse, the evidence for neglect was especially damning. The judge’s face grew grimmer and grimmer.

“Have you anything to say for yourself, Mr. Elliot?”

Simon’s attorney leaned over to whisper something.

Simon scowled. “No, Madam.”

“Very well. This is a very clear-cut case. There is no question that the minor child should be removed from the home.”

“Madam,” Hamish interrupted. “I would beg the indulgence of the court to present some additional evidence.”

“To what end?”

“Regarding gaining your permission for my clients to apply for special guardianship of the minor child.”

“And your clients are?”

“Charlotte Vasquez and Malcolm Niall. The couple with whom Gavin has been living for the past five weeks.”

The judge looked a little intrigued despite herself. “Are either of them relatives of the child?”

“No, Madam.”

“Has there been any kind of child arrangements order granting them permission?”

“No, Madam.”

“Are they foster carers?”

“No, Madam.”

“Do they have the consent of either parent?”

“Hell, no,” Simon burst out.

The judge’s glare was swift. “Not another word from you, Mr. Elliot.” On a sigh, she turned her attention back to Hamish. “Mr. Colquhoun, these are the bare minimum requirements for special guardianship. Why would you waste my time asking for consideration of this?”

“Because I believe circumstances warrant looking at the bigger picture. If you’ll please give me a few minutes to present my case?”

The leather creaked as she sat back in her chair. “Proceed.”

“My clients stumbled upon this child squatting in an abandoned crofter’s cottage. Rather than react by turning him into the authorities, as if he’d done something wrong, they took him in. Fed and clothed him. Showed him the kindness he clearly wasn’t receiving in the home he ran away from. For the past many weeks, they’ve given him shelter and protection and love, none of which they had to do. They have no obligation to this child. He is not of their blood. They gave him a home, anyway. They gave him a family.”

“And disregarded all existing rules about how such a thing should be handled,” she pointed out.

“True, but respectfully, Madam, they did it out of love and a desire to protect him. You and I both know that the system does the best that it can, but it’s constantly overloaded and under-funded. Gavin is safe and happy with Mr. Niall and Miss Vasquez. Is it really necessary to traumatize him further by pulling him away from the only real stability he’s known, from people who love and care for him, in the name of upholding the rules?”

The judge hummed a non-committal note. “Miss Vasquez is not a citizen of the UK. What’s to stop her from simply going home to America?”

Charlotte couldn’t stay quiet. “Family, Your Honor.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“My son—my pseudo son—” Shit. How did she explain Raleigh with brevity?

Hamish smoothly interjected. “Miss Vasquez stepped in to raise her best friend’s son after she died of cancer. That child is now the Baron of Lochmara. As such, she is pursuing citizenship.”

When she didn’t stop him, Hamish lifted a folder from the table in front of him. “With your permission, I have a stack of affidavits here. Character references as to the kind of parents Miss Vasquez and Mr. Niall make. Please review them. Talk to Gavin himself. I know that this is unorthodox, but I’m imploring you to save child services time and money, and save this child from the additional trauma of being ripped from the best home he’s ever known.”

The judge held out a hand, and he scooted around to take it to her.

No one spoke as she skimmed the contents. Charlotte was fairly vibrating out of her skin, trying to contain the hope rioting in her chest.

At last, the judge raised her head, her face softening for the first time all day as she looked at Gavin. “We’ve yet to hear from you, lad.”

He shot a look of pure apprehension toward Simon. “I dinna want to talk in front of him.”

Her face gentled further. “Okay. Then we’ll retreat to my chambers for a private conversation.”

She rose, and everyone else did, too.

Gavin turned panicked eyes to Charlotte. She and Malcolm each laid a hand on his shoulders.

“It’s going to be okay. Just tell her the truth, baby.”

“We’ll be right here on the other side,” Malcolm assured him.

With a nervous gait, he followed the judge out of the courtroom.

As soon as the door shut behind them, Charlotte turned to Malcolm. “You’re here.”

“Aye. I couldnae be anywhere else.” His throat worked. “You were right. I was letting my fear and my past get the better of me. I’m sorry I lost faith. And I’m sorry I hurt you in the process.”

She slid into his arms, holding him tight as the relief she hadn’t quite let herself feel yet crashed through her. “You came. That’s what matters.”

He pulled back slightly, skimming a finger over her cheek. “It’s no’ the only thing that matters. I’m here because I love you. I love him. And I want to make it work, whatever that looks like.”

He loved her. She’d known it somewhere, deep down. Had felt it in his actions, seen it in his looks. But she’d needed the words. Needed, too, his assurances that he still wanted this family they’d made together. She knew what it had cost him to be here, to face his fears and step up. Love and pride geysered inside her, so much emotion for this perfectly imperfect man who was everything she hadn’t known she’d been missing.

She tipped her cheek into his palm. “Damn it, don’t make me cry right now.”

Shifting, he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket. “I’ve got you covered.”

On a watery laugh, she hugged him again.

They stayed like that for long minutes, waiting, until at last the door opened again and Gavin emerged, followed by the judge. He resumed his position between Hamish and Mhairi as the judge stepped back up to her bench. Charlotte and Malcolm leaned forward again, hands on Gavin’s shoulders as they waited for the ruling.

“After consideration of the presented evidence and the testimony of the minor child, it is the opinion of this court that Mr. Niall and Miss Vasquez be granted permission to apply for special guardianship, and that he will be allowed to remain in their residence until such time as guardianship is confirmed.”

All the stress and strain of the past days melted into relief. Gavin vaulted over the rail and into her arms. Malcolm wrapped them both in his. And surrounded by the family of her heart, Charlotte burst into tears.