Chapter 7
Shazza
Remember you promised to come to the Sandycove Community Hub meeting on Monday night? Be nice to meet some people. And there’s free tea and biscuits.
Kitty
I thought we were meant to have fun. A community meeting?!
Shazza
Fun can be found in all sorts of strange places. You just have to leave the house to find it. So, you’re coming? PLEEEAASE?
Kitty
I’ll be there! Can’t wait for all the incredible fun we’re going to have!
Shazza
Oh, ye of little unfrilly faith. See you tomorrow evening. Love you! xx
Normally, Kitty’s Sundays were spent preparing for the week and she usually managed to get through at least three loads of washing and batch cook a stew or two, as well as clean the house from top to bottom or have a very satisfying declutter. But today she hadn’t felt up to doing anything like that, as though without Dave there was nothing to clean or corral. She thought about what Shazza had said about her being too unfrilly. The bed looked perfect. And not a frill in sight, just clean, crisp lines.
From the bedroom door, Kitty became aware of Romeo eyeing her. He looked concerned.
‘I’m fine, Romeo,’ she said. ‘Don’t worry about me. Yes, I probably had a gin and tonic too many, but it was only three in total. Shazza had six.’
The following morning, Kitty was relieved she’d survived the weekend and that she had managed two days without Dave. Yes, there was uncertainty about her current situation, but all in all, it hadn’t been too bad. And this was now Monday morning and who knew? Dave could be home this week and all would be well.
At her desk, she scanned the printouts of the new protein bar campaign. The protein bar’s slogan was wrong, boring and lifeless. Unfrilly, Shazza would say. What about Welcome Ireland? How could she come up with something that would encapsulate a whole country and its history, people and culture? What if she began to lose her ability to find the right words? What if her life continued to implode and she lost everything?
‘Morning Kitty…’ Hughie entered the office, a waft of Tom Ford and toothpaste about him. Hughie lived with John-Paul, a strapping Gaelic football player from Kilkenny who slept with his hurley under his pillow and went to the gym twice a day.
‘Morning, Hughie,’ said Kitty. ‘You had an early start.’
‘You know me, early bird and everything.’ He sat down on his chair, spinning it to face Kitty. ‘And how is Ireland’s luckiest man?’
Kitty nearly laughed. Hughie had never met Dave, but he always called him this, with a slightly ironic tone in his voice. ‘Well…’ she began.
Hughie looked over at her. ‘What?’
‘He’s left for a bit…’
Hughie narrowed his eyes. ‘Define “a bit”,’ he said.
‘Oh, I don’t know… a week. Two. It’s not permanent,’ she insisted. ‘He’s just taking a break.’
‘From you?’ Hughie scrunched up one side of his handsome face, as though to suggest that the very idea of someone needing to escape from Kitty was impossible.
‘Just from his life, the house… Romeo… and…’ She sighed. ‘And… me.’ She didn’t want to cry in front of Hughie. ‘He never liked Romeo. But the feeling was mutual, really.’ Luckily, Romeo would not be pining for Dave. ‘So,’ she said, ‘how is John-Paul? Still flexing his muscles and popping steroids like Smarties?’
Hughie wrapped his arms around his chest. ‘Actually,’ he said, ‘John-Paul and I are no more. It appears hurling is his one true love. Either that or the barman from Birchalls. His final straw came when he tried to explain the previous week the rules and my eyes glazed over and he got so annoyed he left. Last seen chatting to Sam… who is bleach-blond, Turkey-teethed, and tattooed.’ Hughie shuddered.
‘Sorry to hear that,’ said Kitty. ‘Hope you are okay.’
‘Ah, you know me,’ replied Hughie. ‘Like a rubber ball. I bounce back from everything.’
‘Maybe we both need to have more fun,’ said Kitty. ‘My friend Shazza says that’s where I’m going wrong.’
‘Fun?’ Hughie emitted a hollow laugh. ‘The last time I had fun was when I was six and ate too many sweets at my brother’s communion and bounced on the trampoline for four and a half hours until I collapsed.’
‘Nothing since?’
He shook his head. ‘Brief glimpses. Slight brushes with. But no actual, crying-with-laughter, filled-with-happiness, complete-and-total-joy type of fun. Now, all I want to do is comfort-eat.’
Alex had just entered the office and was hanging her coat on the hooks, before looking Hughie over. ‘Actually, I thought you were looking thinner lately,’ she said.
‘Do I?’ he preened. ‘I was wondering when someone would notice.’
‘You’re not dieting?’ Kitty looked up.
‘I was,’ he said. ‘Just a little. Something John-Paul said.’
‘But he’s an athlete,’ said Kitty. ‘Never listen to athletes. They’re not normal when it comes to food.’
‘Exactly,’ said Alex. ‘I used to go out with this guy who played rugby for Trinity. Oh my God. He’d have fifteen eggs a day. The smell alone… Jesus…’
Hughie looked horrified. ‘How long did you last?’
‘About three days,’ said Alex. ‘I crawled out of there, gasping for fresh air.’
Hughie laughed. ‘So, tell us, why are beautiful women like you two still single? I don’t get it. There’s Kitty here, pining for her mammy’s boy…’
‘I’m not!’ Kitty interjected but knowing he was right.
Alex was nodding. ‘I had one of those once,’ she said. ‘Used to ring his mother and ask her what he could eat.’
‘Was this the egg man?’ asked Kitty.
Alex shook her head. ‘A different one.’ She shrugged. ‘I just haven’t had much luck with men.’ She turned to Kitty. ‘So what happened with Dave?’
‘He’s just…’ she began.
‘He’s opted out from all commitments, even to Kitty,’ butted in Hughie. ‘The man’s a fool.’
‘Unless he’s having a breakdown,’ said Alex. ‘Is he having one?’
‘No,’ admitted Kitty. ‘He just needs a break from me. He said he’d be back when he’s feeling better.’
‘And do you want him back?’ asked Alex.
‘Of course, I do,’ said Kitty, but before she could say any more, Mary Rose walked into the office, looking serious.
‘Right,’ she said, placing herself between Alex and Kitty’s desk, ‘a few things… I was just in a meeting with the business planning department and Mr Mulligan and Ben O’Leary were both there. It was impressed upon us how important it was to win the Welcome Ireland pitch. Ben O’Leary has a great deal of faith in you, Alex. He said if anyone could win it, Alex Barry could.’ She smiled at Alex, but Kitty noticed Alex’s neck was turning red and she was looking away, embarrassed.
‘Now there’s a man who smells of eggs,’ said Hughie, making Mary Rose laugh.
‘I didn’t get that off him… but he is very liberal with the expensive aftershave…’
‘The kind of men who douse themselves in aftershave have something to hide,’ said Hughie.
‘His wife has just had a new baby,’ remarked Mary Rose. ‘He was showing us photographs. It looks just like him.’ She mumbled something which to Kitty’s ears sounded like ‘more’s the pity’.
Alex’s head was down as she scrolled through her phone as though Mary Rose hadn’t spoken a word, not even a polite nod of acknowledgement, making Kitty wonder if either Alex had temporarily lost her hearing or something else was going on.
At lunchtime, Kitty couldn’t bear it any longer and dialled Dave’s number.
‘Good afternoon, David’s phone…’ It was Maureen, Dave’s mother, pretending not to know it was Kitty calling. ‘How may I help you?’
‘Hello, Maureen,’ Kitty said, trying to sound friendly. ‘It’s Kitty here. I wonder if I may speak to Dave, please?’
‘Kitty…’ Maureen sounded as though she was trying to place Kitty, searching for her in her mind. ‘Oh yes, Kitty. Well, David’s resting at the moment because as you know he’s been under a great deal of strain and pressure lately. It’s been building up for some time.’
‘I understand that.’
‘A great deal of pressure…’
‘I haven’t…’ Kitty began, but Maureen interjected.
‘You’ve done enough damage to that poor lad,’ she said. ‘Not supporting David when he’s been so overwrought, making him marry you, forcing him to live with an animal…’
For a moment, Kitty thought Maureen was calling her an animal. Of all the things she could be called, surely it wasn’t an animal. She was so tidy. But then she twigged. ‘You mean Romeo…’
‘Is that its name?’ said Maureen sniffily. ‘And having to deal with everything else in his life…’
‘Will you tell him I called?’
But Maureen had already put the phone down.
Kitty wondered if Dave had been captured by his mother, his phone confiscated, perhaps locked in his bedroom, desperately hoping Kitty would come looking for him… but that was wishful thinking because she knew, deep down, Dave was where he wanted to be. It was almost as though he’d been looking for an excuse to move back in with his mother… and if that was true, then perhaps they were over.
Alex interrupted those unsettling thoughts. ‘Do you want a quick meeting?’ she said in a low voice. ‘This Welcome Ireland pitch is freaking me out. I can’t think of anything.’
Kitty followed Alex into the conference room which adjoined their office. Alex closed the door behind them, pulled out one of the leather and metal sling chairs and sat down.
‘I’m having a few personal problems,’ she said. ‘We both are. Dave sounds like a pain in the hole. Obviously, if the two of you get back together again, forget I said that.’
Kitty smiled. ‘I will…’
‘How are we going to come up with anything for the Welcome Ireland pitch? I don’t think I can even think straight, never mind come up with a decent campaign. I can’t do it.’
‘Nor can I,’ said Kitty. Alex may have relied on Kitty’s creativity and ideas, but she was the driving force of the team, the one who pushed hard for pitches.
‘After last Friday, I’ve been spiralling,’ admitted Alex. ‘That man saying something was missing…’
‘But we can’t focus on the feedback of just one person…’
‘No… but we don’t have a clue what is missing. And nor did they.’
Kitty began to feel slightly panicky, as though all the skills and all the experience which she had been gathering over the years, everything she knew about life, were falling away. The last time she’d felt like this was when her dad would take her to a local football match and then for hot chocolate in a local café. She claimed never to want to go, but as soon as it was time to say goodbye, she’d start to feel panicky. It had all been so complicated. Life evidently still was.
‘What are we going to do?’ Alex looked even worse than Kitty felt, her face pale, real fear in her eyes.
They stared at each other soundlessly for a moment and then the words of Shazza came back to Kitty.
‘Have you thought about having more fun, Alex?’ said Kitty.
‘Fun?’ said Alex. ‘I haven’t had fun since I was a teenager…’ She looked wistful for a moment. ‘No, we need to work. Look, we’ve only got two weeks, so we’ll just have to crack on and hope it all comes together.’
Kitty nodded. Alex was right. Fun would have to wait while they waited for inspiration to strike. Hopefully.