For Pucking Keeps: A Hockey Romance (The Seattle Vipers Series Book 1)

24. Jaz

TWENTY-FOUR

“Iwant to congratulate you on your Lit! Award. It’s been a long time coming. You deserve it.” Shaun bows his head slightly and my hackles rise. Stepping from behind Tor, despite him trying to gently block me, I face Shaun and Mace. I want to get this over with. Whatever this is.

“Thank you. I’m extremely proud of everyone who?—”

“You’re welcome,” Shaun says with a smug look on his face. How did I ever think I could marry this man? My eyes shift to Mace, and he still has his eyes cast down. I don’t know if he’s being a coward or just cowed. Whichever one it is, he looks uncomfortable.

I cock my head at Shaun feeling my anger rise but I refuse to make a scene. “Excuse the hell out of me, Shaun. What do you mean by that?” I lift my brow in question. The audacity of this asshole. What is he trying to imply?

“I played a part in your success, Jazminne.” He drags out my pen name exaggeratedly, like it disgusts him to say it. “You wouldn’t have finished the book without my help.”

I step closer, but Tor’s hand on my back stops me. The little gesture lends me the strength I didn’t know I need in the moment. Shaun is baiting me, and I am letting him. Tor doesn’t need the bad press, especially at an event I am involved in. “You didn’t write my books though, Shaun. I did. I am the one who put in the hours of writing. You know, all the hours in which you found a way to get fucked by Mace, apparently. You know, all the hours you complained I spent away from you. The same hours you say broke us.” Yep, kid gloves are off. I’m pissed, but I managed to keep my voice as low as I can. Thank goodness the tables are empty beside us.

“You were my editor, but you always found a way to scrutinize every God damn word to the point where you appeared an obsessive twat, while everyone else on the team loved what I wrote. Nothing I did was ever good enough for you. I guess now I know why.” I am so close to poking him in the chest I have to hold back. I choose to step back into Tor’s chest instead.

“Jaz, baby. I don’t want you upset. This is clearly not the place for this conversation.” Tor places his hands on my shoulders turning me away from Shaun, while addressing him at the same time. “I would say it’s nice to meet you both, but I don’t like to lie.” Tor tries to usher me away but Shaun continues to speak.

“Tell me, Tor, have you read Jaz’s new book yet? It’s rather enlightening in my opinion. I mean seriously Jaz; I should sue you for slander at the way I’m portrayed in the story.” He sighs. “But it’s all coincidence, right? Different names used; I can’t prove it. Was the writer’s block so bad that you decided to use your life as the plot of this book?”

I snap around so fast I may have whiplash from the force. I pull away from Tor, heart pounding before he can reply. “You’ve read my chapters? How?” The panic in my voice is evident and Shaun looks at Tor over my shoulder, and the smile he gives me is so vicious, it’s damn near Grinch worthy. I search for Julia, accusation on the tip of my tongue, when it hits me. When I send my manuscripts they go to Julia, then she sends them to the appropriate editor. But I was only sending chapters, the manuscript isn’t ready. How did Shaun get ahold of my pages? Did the sneaky asshole find a way to see them somehow? I didn’t stop to consider he would still be involved with my books. That was a serious oversight.

“So, like I said before, you’re welcome.” He gestures to Tor. “You’re her latest muse, perhaps? Or just a temporary distraction to fill the void I left behind. Regardless, she will throw herself into her work and you will be forgotten. But at least she will get a story out of it before she runs.” Shaun’s words hit like blows to the face. He is trying to hurt me, and it’s fucking working. He couldn’t be more wrong. I love Tor, I never really loved Shaun. But how can I offer a rebuttal when I know he’s right. I’ve written about our relationship in my book. So, I stand there, my lips parted in disbelief, because of course this is happening now. I let Shaun verbally slice me open and I’m bleeding out fast.

“Shaun, that’s enough, you’re done.” Mace tries to pull Shaun away, offering me a silent apology through his sorrow filled eyes. Shaun snatches his arm away, turning teeth bared and sneers at Mace. “No, she doesn’t get to use our situation to her advantage and paint us in a bad light. We are not the villains for falling in love with each other.”

Tor steps in front of me protectively and steps up to Shaun chest to chest. “Walk the fuck away, Shaun. Do it now before I make you.”

Ignoring Tor, Shaun stumbles backs and points his finger at me as Mace steps in front of him. Mace attempts to push him away and I quickly glance around to find that we now have an audience. Julia stands a few feet away with a worried look on her face. She takes a step forward, but I shake my head, hoping she will stay away. She’s worked too hard, and I don’t want this to reflect negatively on Wells Publishing. This is my problem. I did this.

“Tell me, Jaz,” Shaun raises his voice so the entire room can hear him. Oh, he’s going to perform now. “Is your latest masterpiece inspired by real-life events? Because I couldn’t help but notice some striking similarities between your characters and a certain hockey player.” Tor stiffens at Shaun’s words, but he continues to stand in front of me, protecting me. I want to run, to pull Tor away and leave. This is not the way I wanted Tor to find out. Not like this, not by Shaun.

I tense, my body flinches hard against Tor’s back. I know Tor can feel it but again he doesn’t turn to acknowledge me, he just holds his position in front of Shaun. “I’m not sure what you’re insinuating, Shaun. My writing is purely fiction.” Lies, all lies, Alexis.

“Oh, come on, Jaz. We both know the truth. You couldn’t resist turning our failed relationship into fodder for your new little romance novel. And now you’ve moved on to your next victim, haven’t you.” Shaun’s voice is dripping with malice as he looks at Tor and then back at me. I almost break, right there in the middle of the ballroom. I want to ask him why. What did I do to him to warrant his behavior? But I don’t. I just want this night, this conversation to be over. The damage is done on all fronts. I will be in the news of the book world tomorrow, and it won’t be about my accomplishments, no, it will be about this. My apparent lack of creativity or original thought.

“I won’t ask you again. Step away. Leave,” Tor says calmly, his body is practically vibrating with rage as he tries to hold back. I grip the back of his tux jacket just in case, holding on to him for dear life.

Shaun holds his hands up in surrender, letting Mace pull him away. Of course he can’t just walk away, he has to have the last words. “The knight in shining armor comes to the rescue. How noble of you, Torrance. Read her book and you will see exactly what kind of woman you’re protecting. She’s not innocent, are you Jaz?”

I move from behind Tor, ignoring him when he calls to me. “That’s enough, Shaun. This is between us, not him. Whatever you thought you were achieving by attempting to confront me, you’ve done it in spades. I don’t owe you shit. You can say what you want about me, but I didn’t cheat, I didn’t make you step out on me. You chose, both of you chose. I’m a writer, it can be all consuming, but I never, ever, neglected what we had enough for you to do what you did. I committed no crime when it came to us. You embarrassed us both here tonight, and for what?” I throw my hand up in exasperation. “You still look like a selfish, jealous, cheating son of bitch.”

I step back, not giving him a chance to reply and I storm from the ballroom. I can’t face another person in the room, not even Julia. I know Tor will follow, but I almost wish he wouldn’t because this night is far from over. He needs to know the truth, and I will give it to him. There’s no point in waiting. If this all comes crashing down around me tonight, I only have myself to blame. I can only hope he can forgive me afterwards.

“Tor, Miss Starr, good night?” Lucas asks, as Tor and I cut across the lobby of his penthouse. I feel like I’m walking to my death, my heart won’t stop skipping beats, and my stomach is in knots with anxiety. I stop and take a minute to remove my heels as I use Lucas’s security booth to lean on as I kick my shoes off.

Tor doesn’t stop though. He grunts a greeting to Lucas and continues around the corner to the elevators.

I bend down and pick up my heels, sighing in relief. That’s one less discomfort I’ll have to contend with. “It was fine,” I finally say with a helpless shrug because what more can I say? Oh, Lucas, I fucked up, and now Tor is going to have nothing to do with me and I’m going to lose the man I love. Nope.

Lucas offers me a small smile, obviously picking up on the tension between the two of us, “Whatever it is, just communicate. Talk to one another. He loves you.” He points his thumb back in Tor’s direction, then leans in closer to whisper. “And I know you love him. Work it out.” He taps the counter as my eyes water with tears. If only it was that easy.

“Jaz,” Tor calls my name, his irritation is evident in his tone I don’t waste another second and catch up.

“Night, Lucas.” I wave over my shoulder as I round the corner and find Tor holding the elevator door for me.

As Tor steps in behind me, I manage to hear Lucas say, “Good night, Miss Starr.”

Like the ride home, Tor says nothing. He doesn’t even look at me, he’s shut down, and I hate it. I keep my mouth shut, knowing my destination as soon as the doors open to the penthouse. Nothing I could say can ease the sting of what I’ve done. The fact that I haven’t denied it or insisted Tor talks to me is an indication enough of my guilt and the possible truth behind Shaun’s accusations. I’m screwed no matter what.

The doors part slower than usual, as if they themselves are trying to hold back the inevitable. Tor holds his arm out, allowing me to go first and I let my feet carry me forward. I hear Tor calling me softly, I expect anger, yelling, shouting of my name, but, no, this man calls me as if I’m his lifeline.

“Alexis,” he calls for me, but I don’t stop as I drop my heels to the floor. I climb the stairs and keep going. I know he will follow. With each step I take I let numbness wash over me, if I can’t feel, then I can’t hurt, but, God, the pain is coming.

“Damn it, Alexis, stop,” Tor pleads as I continue down the hall until I reach the main bedroom, our room. Fuck. I stand in the doorway for only a second, wanting nothing more than to crawl into bed and let Tor hold me.

Nope, I’ve been selfish enough, because that’s what I’ve been this entire time. Selfish. I turn toward my little desk; my laptop sits quietly, waiting to reveal my secrets and deliver the final stab to my heart. I sit down in my chair and open it, finding my manuscript. I open the program as the words come into view. I can hear Tor as he enters the room, finally. Or has he been standing at the doorway wishing for a reprieve like I have? I stand and pull out the chair further, then robotically turn toward Tor.

“You want to read my book?” I gesture to my laptop, letting my arm raise and fall limply at my side. “Go ahead.” I don’t look at him, I can’t. I turn around. But he hasn’t let me hide tonight, and despite everything he still doesn’t.

I feel the heat of his body against my back as he turns me to face him. When I don’t look up, he hooks his finger under my chin and tilts it up towards him. “We can talk after you read it, Tor. Don’t make me any promises you can’t keep. Don’t give me hope. Just please, read it.” I close my eyes as the first tears fall.

“Alexis, baby. . .”

“Please, Tor, just read what I wrote,” I beg as I step out of his hold. I walk away, needing to put space between us. I head into the bathroom as I hear him say, “Okay.” I close the door and wait.