Chapter 11
11
Cameron
The ferry ride to the cruise ship is uncomfortable as hell, and not because of the plastic seats or the choppy waves. Joey doesn’t want me anywhere near her; she made that clear by dropping into a seat on the opposite side of the boat. Not that I can blame her after my speech in the taxi. I may not have handled the conversation as well as I could have, but apologizing was the honorable thing to do, right? Regardless, she’s intent on giving me the cold shoulder.
In the grand scheme of things, it shouldn’t matter. We’ll never see each other again. It’s too bad, though, because the sex was incredible. Beyond incredible, really.
Hayden hated when I’d go down on her—said it was weird and unnatural. And she never liked dirty talk, like it disgusted her. But Joey? She reveled in it. I haven’t felt that good in bed in I don’t know how long. Maybe ever? And it’s not just because of the orgasm. We connected in a way I’ve never experienced. And maybe in another life—if she were older, if we lived in the same part of the country—we could have something. But that isn’t the case, so it’s time to let it go and focus on what’s in front of me.
Joey’s words worked their way into my skin like a tick. Do what makes you happy. Life is more fulfilling that way.
Under the awning of the ferry, mostly protected from the sun, I search the horizon. What if? What would my life look like if I did what I wanted for once? For starters, I’d have to find a new place to live. My father wouldn’t let me stay in the penthouse if I quit my job. And my mom? She’s waited so long for my dad to retire, and that’ll only happen if I step up. She’ll be devastated if I leave the family business.
I throw my pipe dreams overboard just as we pull up to the dock.
Hayden is waiting for me in our cabin when I return. I toss my bag on the floor with a thud, then carefully set my camera in front of the closet, breathing through the trepidation coursing through my veins at the sight of my ex-girlfriend.
“I’m so glad you’re okay!” She shuffles close and cups my shoulders. The apples of her cheeks are pink and her eyes are bright. She looks much better than when I left her yesterday. Did she hook up with Tyler again? She leans in for a hug, but I push her away. I was so consumed with thoughts of my career and a certain leggy brunette on the ferry ride over that I failed to give much thought to what I might say once I confronted her. I was understanding when she told me she couldn’t marry me, but that was before I knew she cheated.
“What’s wrong, Cammy?” Jesus. I suddenly despise that nickname on her tongue.
“I don’t know, Hayden. Why don’t you tell me?”
She rears back, her blue eyes darting between mine. “What are you talking about? ”
With a big step back, I cross my arms over my chest, like armor to my heart. “Where were you the night before last?”
She drops her focus to the floor for a heartbeat, and when she looks back at me, her face is pale. “I stayed at that club with those girls we met from Long Island.”
I nod. This much is true. “And when I went back to the room? Then what?”
Her ocean eyes expand. “I…I don’t know what you mean.”
“Don’t lie to me.” Shaking my head, I dig my phone out of my back pocket, unlock the screen, and hold it up so she can see the image. Joey and I didn’t exchange numbers or social media information, but she did send me the picture of Hayden and Tyler via AirDrop. If I didn’t have it in front of me now, I might allow myself to believe it was a bad dream.
All the color drains from her face and tears well in her eyes. Dropping to the bed, she hangs her head. “I’m so sorry,” she chokes out. The tears are already flowing.
This ought to be good. Without a word, I step closer, waiting for an explanation.
“How did—how did you find out?”
That’s what she has to say? “His girlfriend.”
“He has a girlfriend?” She gasps. She’s sobbing now, a trail of mascara staining her cheeks. “I swear I didn’t know.”
Seriously? She’s concerned that he has a girlfriend, not that she had a boyfriend?
“I can’t believe you right now. Who are you?” I run my fingers through my hair.
She rises to her feet and grasps my wrist. “I’m so sorry, Cammy.”
The girl before me is desperate, and it’s pathetic.
“Don’t fucking touch me right now.” I yank so she’s forced to release me, then I take a step back. Not that it puts much space between us in this tiny cabin .
I’m sure our next-door neighbors are getting quite the earful, but that’s the least of my concerns.
“Why?” I plead, though I’m not sure I even want to know the answer.
She looks pained. Good. “I don’t know.” She ducks her chin and rubs the side of her arm. “I had too much to drink and my judgment was skewed, but that’s not an excuse,” she admits. “If I’m being totally honest, I think I just didn’t feel like being the good girl for once.”
My anger dissipates just a fraction with that confession. “What do you mean?”
“I’m so tired of feeling suffocated by my parents’ expectations, and I’m sick of always doing exactly what they tell me to do. Aren’t you?” She licks her lips and searches my face. “I mean, they freaking arranged our marriage without even considering how we might feel about it. That’s crazy, right? I feel crazy right now.”
Though I’d rather not touch her, I grasp her arm gently and guide her to the bed.
Sitting beside me on the mattress, she keeps her head bowed, not making eye contact. “What I did was shitty. I really am sorry. I feel so lost right now. Like I don’t know what I want from life. Before you, I’d only dated one guy, and that didn’t end well. I don’t know. I just want the freedom to figure it out on my own without my parents breathing down my neck.”
“I get that. I just wish you wouldn’t have gone behind my back.”
She turns to me, tears still streaming down her face. “I know.”
My jaw loosens a bit. I’m tired. I don’t want to fight over this when we’ve already decided not to be together. “Let’s just get through the rest of the trip.”
Though keeping things civil with Hayden feels like the right thing to do, I’d rather not look at her. The only face I want to see is Joey’s, and with any luck, I’ll bump into her on the ship today.
The pool deck is crowded with Brits who are all about an hour away from third-degree sunburns. I’ve set myself up on the lounge by the pool, praying my odds of catching her walking by this high-traffic area are decent. With a whiskey on rocks in my hand, I hold tight to the image of the prettiest brown eyes in my head.
Man, I really screwed things up. Why did I have to open my mouth and tell her I regretted our night together? It’s the farthest thing from the truth. If the last twenty-four hours has taught me anything, it’s that life doesn’t always need to be planned to be beautiful. I may have just met the girl of my dreams, but I’ve royally fucked it up, and now I’ll never see her again.