Chapter 3
3
Millie
It’s chilly tonight, though not as cold as I expected it to be this close to Thanksgiving. When I step into the Black Hole, I’m greeted by Aunt Elin, Joey’s mom, who immediately pulls me into a hug.
Her warmth and happiness soak into me as she rocks me from side to side. “Amelia, sweetheart.”
She’s a few months sober and looks the best she has since my Uncle Noah died thirteen years ago. When planning this surprise for my cousin, Cam and I agreed that a dry function—offering mocktails, coffee, and tea only—was the best way to go.
“Oh my gosh, hi. I’m so glad you could make it.”
Aunt Elin flew in this afternoon from California and came straight to the coffee shop so she wouldn’t ruin the surprise for her daughter.
“I wouldn’t miss Josefine’s book launch for the world. Such a shame your folks couldn’t make it. Your mom said they caught the flu from Asher and Bea?”
I mirror her frown. Not only are my brother and his daughter unable to make it, but now that my parents are sick as well, I’m the sole member of my family here supporting Joey. “Yeah, they’re super bummed.”
I promised I’d help Mark and his wife lay out the food they’ve so generously catered, so I introduce my aunt to my next-door neighbors, Peg and Fran, who have been surrogate mothers to Joey and me, then I take off, ready to help set up.
A gold banner that reads I did it… for the plot falls from one side, and I scurry over to tack it back to the wall. I hoist myself onto a wooden chair and crouch to grab the end of the banner. As I straighten, my balance falters, but just before I go down, a strong hand steadies the outside of my thigh.
“Careful,” the deep voice warns.
My breath catches, and I pivot on the ball of my foot so I can face my savior. It’s a terrible idea, spinning around like this, because the sturdy fingers have now shifted dangerously close to the inside of my thigh.
The man hovering below me pulls his tan hand back like I’ve shocked him.
“Oh, you. Um, hi,” I stutter. Though I should have expected to see him here, I’m startled by our reunion.
Ezra may be Cam’s closest friend, but he’s also the man I hooked up with in Greece several months ago and haven’t spoken to since. After two ridiculously hot encounters, the guy was giving off major family-man vibes, and that’s just not my thing. I’m looking for a family woman , to be honest. Though I love a pretty cock, I’ve always imagined myself marrying a woman. Not that I’ll be ready for that anytime soon. I’m only twenty-seven.
It wasn’t my intention to avoid him when we returned to the city—I just didn’t go out of my way to see him. As busy as I’ve been, it’s been ridiculously easy to not bump into him. For months I’ve had my hands full, traveling with the theater, voice acting, hanging out with Sam, and bartending at the club.
For a moment, I give myself permission to reexamine the man with eyes like melted chocolate. And a man he is. His dark, unruly curls are pulled back into a bun, and his beard is perfectly groomed, as always.
I accept his hand and follow the line of corded veins that peeks out from the black button-down he’s got rolled to his elbow. “Thanks,” I croak. “How are you?”
He crosses his arms over his chest, making it a challenge not to take in the definition there as well. “Really good. And you? It’s been a while.”
If there’s more to that statement, I can’t tell.
“Really good, yeah. Thanks.”
Oh god, this is the lamest reintroduction ever. He’d have more success talking to a monkey.
I clear my throat and put in a little more effort. “What have you been up to?”
He scratches his beard, instantly throwing me back to the feeling of it against my neck.
“Work keeps me busy.”
“Teacher, right?” I vaguely remember him telling me how much he loves the youth. I could practically taste the “settling down” vibes oozing from his pores as he went on about his job.
“Yes. I teach middle school social studies. And you? Joey mentioned you’re in a show?”
“I am. Was ,” I fumble. This man is so damn handsome, it hurts to look at him. “I was in a production, and I’m getting ready for rehearsals for another one, actually.”
His brows lift, along with one side of his mouth. “Love to hear it.” He sounds genuine too.
As I search for another appropriate topic to keep the conversation from turning awkward, my breasts buzz, startling me. With a quiet gasp, I yank my phone from my bra—this damn dress doesn’t have pockets (Big mistake. Big. Huge .)—catching the way Ezra’s eyes widen, then quickly flit away .
The text from Cam is a single random emoji—our signal that they’re on their way.
“Oh shit.” I shuffle to the center of the room and announce to the crowd that we have about ten minutes before Joey arrives.
Without hesitation, every person here gets to work with the final tasks we need to complete. The blinds are closed, which means that she won’t be able to see us from the sidewalk. The barista, Iris, fiddles with the music on the speakers, Aunt Elin straightens the food platters, and Peg and Fran pass out Sharpies and copies of my cousin’s book. Cam’s family and Joey’s writing buddies are here too. I can’t wait to see the look on her face when she walks through the door. She’ll appear mortified, though secretly, she’ll be ecstatic.
I stand guard, watching for them, and when I spot them at the end of the block, I wave my hands in the air. “Shh. Shh. Everyone, it’s go time.”
Legs crossed, I will my bladder to get her shit together. Anticipation always makes me have to pee. As a kid, the only way I could play hide-and-seek was if I hid in the bathroom.
When Cam swings the door open and we all shout “surprise!” Joey’s instinct is to spin around and bury her head in his chest. After a moment, though, he twists her around, and we all take turns hugging her.
I couldn’t be prouder of my best friend. She did the damn thing. She wrote a motherfucking book.
The party is off to a great start, and when it looks like all the guests are enjoying themselves, I grab myself another mocktail and take a moment to breathe. From my spot against the wall, I survey the crowd, taking it all in.
Cam’s sister, Claire, is deep in conversation with Ezra, their familiarity making me wonder if they’re an item. When he shoves her in the shoulder in the playful way my brother does to me, I decide that’s probably not the case. Though I can’t help but wonder if they’ve ever hooked up. Not that it’s any of my business.
Several folks give speeches, including me, each of us gushing about how proud we are of Joey for going after her dreams. And when Aunt Elin dotes on her only child, there’s not a dry eye in the room.
I’m moderating Peg and Fran’s heated debate over their favorite Campbell’s soup flavor when I spot my aunt tearing up halfway across the room. Concerned, I follow her line of sight and—“Oh my god.”
“What?” Ezra sidles up next to me. “What’s wrong?”
Heart pounding, I turn to him, then back again. “Did you—did you know?”
“Know what?” he asks, searching for what I’m homing in on.
“Did he just— ahh !” I rush over to Joey, who’s wrapped up tight in her mom’s arms, and Cam, who’s hovering a step away. I punch him in the bicep. “Jerk. Why didn’t you tell me?”
With a squeal, Joey embraces me.
As she breaks away, I snag her left hand and bring it up to my face.
“Holy shit.”
Resting on my cousin’s hand is the most stunning engagement ring.
I can barely see her through the tears in my eyes as I enthusiastically yank her in for another hug.
She’s speechless and sobbing into my neck.
No words are needed between us. I know her as well as I know myself. For her, the emotions of this moment are overpowering in all the best ways.
Stepping away so others can offer their congratulations, I help Mark switch out the appetizers for dessert. I’m reeling as I work. My cousin is engaged . She has never been one to dream about marriage the way little girls stereotypically do, but by her endearing smile and the elation radiating off her, it’s clear that she’s thrilled.
A double surprise party. Wow, what a night it’s turning out to be.
I’m grabbing a black-and-white cookie from the spread on the table when I overhear my aunt speaking to Ezra. “Are you seeing anyone?”
Intrigued, I pretend to be engrossed in the desserts and keep my ear open for his response.
“I am,” he replies.
“Is she here?”
“No,” he says. “She thought it would be awkward since she hasn’t met my friends yet.” In my periphery, he pauses to look at his watch. “But she’s meeting me here in a bit before we head out for the night.”
“Oh, Millie, there you are.” My aunt waves me over to join them as I move down the dessert table. “What about you, hun? Are you still seeing that young lady? Joey mentioned she’s dying to meet her.”
Ezra’s eyes go wide. I’m not sure whether it’s because he’s surprised I’m seeing someone or because that person is a woman . It’s possible he doesn’t know I’m bi. My sexuality hasn’t been a secret for about a decade, but I’m not in the habit of introducing myself as bi. Straight people don’t have to “come out” every time they date someone new, so why do queer people?
“I am,” I say, because drinks with Sam earlier went really well.
“That’s wonderful.” Aunt Elin rubs my shoulder. “I’m happy for you.”
Ezra catches my eye and smiles warmly. When my aunt yawns, I offer to call her an Uber so she can head back to her hotel, and several minutes later, Joey and I hug her goodbye. I let go of the door once she’s stepped out, but when it doesn’t snick shut, I turn, assuming she’s stepped back in.
Instead, the third surprise of the night appears.
“Sam?”
I don’t have time to decipher the odd look on her face before Ezra pulls her in for a hug and presses a kiss to her cheek.
My stomach sinks. What the hell?
“Hey, babe,” he sings.
Babe? With that, my stomach plummets straight to the floor.
Her astonished face says it all, but in the next heartbeat, the deer-in-the-headlights look shifts to one fitting of a doting girlfriend. Damn. I’m the trained actress, but I may have some competition here.
Completely oblivious, Ezra turns to me. “Millie, this is Samantha, my girlfriend.”
Sam—er, Samantha —flinches, though Ezra doesn’t notice.
“Samantha, this is Millie, Joey’s cousin.”
The urge to shed my skin like a snake is almost impossible to ignore. Never have I been so humiliated. And there’s literally nothing I can do about it. Not here. We’re celebrating my best friend’s biggest accomplishment. I absolutely cannot make a scene. So I do what I’ve been doing most of my life—I pretend.
While a handshake feels like overkill, I force a smile and politely offer a “nice to meet you.”
Convincing enough.
Ezra guides Sam by her lower back to the newly engaged couple, where introductions are made.
We’re gathered in a circle later—Sam included—when Joey nudges my side. “What’s with you?”
Guess I’m not so convincing, after all.
“Nothing.” I force a smile, praying she’s distracted enough not to see right through me .
“Cam and I are going to head out soon, have a little private celebration of our own.” She waggles those money-making brows.
“Go,” I tell her, grin still in place. “I’ve got cleanup duty.”
“Oh, shoot. I didn’t even think about that.” A frown mars her face for the first time tonight. “We can stick around to help.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Ezra pipes in. “There’s no way you’re cleaning up after your own party. We’ll hang back and help. Right, babe?” He turns to Sam.
Great.
Shortly after Cam and Joey leave, the remaining guests follow. I’d sneak out the door along with them if I hadn’t promised Iris I’d lock up for her. She’s been at the café for over twelve hours; I couldn’t possibly let her stay a minute longer.
And then there were three.
The tension in here is so thick I couldn’t cut it with a jackhammer if I tried. I haven’t yet decided what bothers me more. The discovery that Sam is a lying little cheater or finding out that she’s been cheating on me with a man I once hooked up with.
My stomach twists in a painful knot. This is so fucked up.
As I go through the motions of cleaning, I pray silently that I can make it out of here unscathed. But when I accidentally stare—or maybe it’s a glare?—at Sam across the table for a little too long, Ezra notices.
Clearing his throat, he frowns at me. “Am I missing something here? Why do I feel weird energy radiating from you?”
I quickly look away, though I realize there’s no reason to play this off. Now that Cam and Joey have left and their night has gone off without a hitch, I don’t have to be polite.
“Why don’t you ask Sam?”
“Sam?” His voice pitches in confusion, making it clear he doesn’t know her by that name. “Samantha?”
Good thing she’s already handling the trash can. The girl looks like she’s about to vomit. “Uh, I, um…” She doesn’t have the ovaries to woman up and own her shit.
As mad as I am, Ezra’s furrowed brows inject a serum of empathy into my veins, so I tread lightly. “I’m sorry, but your girlfriend hasn’t been honest with you.”
Eyes widening, he homes in on Sam. “What is she talking about?”
When she averts her gaze rather than owning up, he turns back to me, his face etched in confusion.
“God, this is awkward,” I sigh. I tug on the collar of my dress, which feels way too tight and scratchy all of a sudden. “We’re both dating Sam. Or Samantha.”
“The fuck?” He steps back, swiping a hand down his beard, and whirls on Sam. “Is that true?”
Finally, she looks up, this time with tears welling in her eyes, and nods.
Rage flares to life under my skin. Oh, hell no. She doesn’t get to play victim.
“Why—what—why would you…” He trails off.
Poor guy looks broken, and it’s too painful to watch. I almost wish I’d kept my mouth shut. But he deserves to know what kind of woman he’s with.
I set the trays I’ve been wiping off on the counter and straighten, chin lifted. “I’d like to know why too.”
Sam sweeps her fingers through her short strands, the move making her look a lot like Kristen Stewart. Now that I’ve discovered she’s a two-timer, her sexiness has melted away.
She takes a step forward, creating an equilateral triangle between the three of us. “Millie, I really have had fun these last several months.”
“ Several ?” Ezra staggers back a step.
“But I, uh, you know I’ve been confused about my sexuality, and I thought dating both a man and a woman would help me figure out what I really wanted.”
“So, what, we were some sort of experiment to you?” I seethe. “Play with Ken and Barbie and see which you like best?” My vision goes red around the edges. I’m not just upset with Sam, I’m furious with myself. I should have seen this coming. Clearly, I was blinded by fresh pussy.
“No, it’s not like that. I?—”
“That’s exactly what it seems like,” Ezra interjects. He drops his head and laces his fingers at the back of his neck. “I’m such a fucking idiot.”
My heart pangs for him. Why is he an idiot? He didn’t do anything wrong.
“I should go.” Sam heads for the door.
“You think?” Ezra barks, not even watching her walk away.
I take a step toward him, but when he whips his head around and narrows his eyes on me, I stop. “Don’t,” he says so quietly I nearly miss it.
“I’m so sor—” I snap my mouth shut before I can apologize. I’m not in the wrong here. If only there were an alternative version of “I’m sorry” that fit this type of situation appropriately. A moment where I’m not in the wrong, yet I still want to offer sympathy.
“Just—” He stops short, takes one look at me with the saddest fucking expression on his face, and strides out the door, leaving me alone.