Chapter 13
13
Millie
“I’m kicking you out.”
“Excuse me?” Ezra sputters from behind his toothbrush.
Averting my attention, I hand him a towel. The man hasn’t put a shirt on yet this morning, making it far too easy to drool over him. I both love and hate that he’s comfortable in his skin. But mostly, I miss feeling that way.
“Let me rephrase that.” I prop a hip on the bathroom counter. “I have to record for the app today, so I really need you out of the apartment, please.”
“Why?” He spits toothpaste into the sink.
Shit. Why was that so hot?
“I am not recording erotic stories in front of you.” I cross my arms over my chest and arch a brow.
Ezra follows the movement. “I can be in the next room… with my ear pressed against the wall.” He laughs.
With a huff, I wind up and punch his bicep.
“Ouch,” he whines, rubbing at his arm. “You’ve got a mean jab. ”
“Looks like my older brother was good for something.”
“Is he protective? Asher, right?”
“Yeah.” I pull my hair into a topknot with one of Ezra’s hair ties. “He always has my back. And since he has a little girl of his own now, he’s extra protective.”
“I imagine that’s how I’ll be when I have kids. If I have kids.”
My heart clenches at the defeat in his tone. “Why do you say ‘if’?”
He rolls his shoulders, looking away from me. “I dunno. I’m almost forty, and it hasn’t happened yet.”
“Thirty-five is not almost forty .”
He swallows audibly and forces his attention back to my face. “Thirty-six.”
“Huh?”
“I’m thirty-six.”
Confused, I prop my hands on my hips. “But I thought…”
“Today’s my birthday.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?” I punch him in the bicep again.
With a shrug, he plucks an elastic from the counter and pulls his hair into a knot too. “Thirty-six feels like late thirties and… I don’t know, I didn’t want to be reminded that I thought I’d be married with a kid by now.”
I study him, deciding to circle back to celebrating his birthday later. “Is that something you’ve always wanted? A family?”
“Yes. Casually dating was fun when I was in my twenties, but even then, I didn’t want to be a chronic bachelor like my dad. Nor do I want to swing the opposite direction and be alone like my mom.”
“Do you think she’s lonely?”
His lips turn down in a solemn frown. “I don’t think she’s unhappy, but yeah, I do think she’s lonely. ”
“She never found anyone else?”
“Not really. She told me recently that she’s dating, but I kind of think she was kidding. Anyway, what about you? Do you want kids?”
Oof . Now there’s a loaded question. “Eventually. Though I’d rather marry a woman so she can carry the baby. Being pregnant sounds terrifying.”
He cocks his head. “How so?”
“Carrying a tiny human in my body for nine months?” I look down at my stomach, hating that it’s already bigger than I’m used to. “I don’t know about that.”
“I bet you’d be gorgeous while pregnant.”
With an exaggerated gasp, I swat at his arm, but he dodges me just in time. “Do you have a breeding kink? If you do, I need to know.”
“Why? Does that turn you on?”
I’m not into cold plunging, but someone needs to shove me under the showerhead right now. “No.” Maybe . “But if you’re my husband ,” I put up air quotes, “then that’s probably something I should know.”
“It’s not like we’re sleeping together. Unless…” He arches a brow.
“You perv.” With a laugh, I turn away and snag my toothbrush.
“How am I a perv? You’re hot.” He points at me. “ I’m hot.” He points at himself. “We could be two consenting adults. Plus, I’ve gotten you off before, remember?”
Do I remember?
Greece.
Storage closet.
I rode his fingers like a buckle bunny in those cowboy romances I love to read.
Heart racing, I hop off the counter and get to work washing my face, hoping the cool water will reduce the redness in my cheeks.
“ Anyway …” I change the subject before my mind gets totally lost in the gutter. “What’s next? What are you going to do about Kane?”
“I’m going to pack up his stuff at my d— Rob’s . Val said I can store it in the garage for now.”
I nod. “Are you okay with him staying with Mano?”
His chest rises and falls as he pulls in a deep breath, holds it, and lets it out again. “It’s not ideal, but I’m not his dad, or even his guardian. Not yet, at least. So I can’t tell him what to do, but I don’t love it.”
“Not yet?”
He presses his teeth into his bottom lip, focus averted. “I’m going to discuss it with my mom today, but I think it’s what I need to do.”
“You’re going to adopt him?”
“I don’t know how it all works, to be honest, but I can’t imagine Rob will put up a fight. It’s not like he made much of an effort to raise me.”
My heart pinches at the sadness in his tone. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too.”
After triple-checking that Ezra has left, I set up my recording equipment in the walk-in closet. I opted for tea instead of coffee this morning since cream and sugar affect my vocals, and I loaded up on green apples at the store yesterday, which help minimize mucus. Once I’m settled, I read over the script, then go through my vocal warm-ups. Today, my alter ego, Jules, is going on a steamy camping trip with her lover. Lucky lady .
During our last virtual meeting, my boss told me subscribers love Jules—that she’s so believable they forget they’re listening to an app. I take pride in that feedback. I never want my work to feel scripted or overacted.
It takes me about an hour to record thirty minutes of audio, and since Ezra still isn’t back yet, I search for a mat Pilates exercise on YouTube. After spilling my insecurities to Joey, I asked her to keep me accountable to move my body for at least ten minutes a day. After the workout, I fire off a selfie to her as proof. It may be silly, but the gold star emoji or “good girl” GIFs she sends really are good motivation. I’m sitting on the sofa doom-scrolling when Ezra appears at the top of the stairs, his eyes roaming over my body.
“Hey,” I squeak, pulling my knees into my chest to hide the stomach rolls hanging out between my hot pink sports bra and my high-waisted black leggings.
“Hey.” He collapses beside me, sitting close enough that my toes touch his thigh.
“How’d it go?”
“As well as it could, I guess. I picked up boxes from U-Haul and called my mom from the parking lot before going over to Rob’s.”
“Was he home?”
“Yeah,” he sighs, closing his eyes.
“And?”
Straightening, he frowns. “I told him I want nothing to do with him and demanded he relinquish his rights as Kane’s guardian.”
I gasp. Even though that was the plan, what he did today took a lot of guts. “What did he say?”
Ezra pulls my feet into his lap, face lowered. “He said yes. Just like that. Gave him up without a moment’s hesitation. He’s such an asshole. He didn’t even help me pack up. I can’t believe I wasted so many years trying to impress him. And for what?”
“That’s awful.” I grasp his forearm and wait for him to look at me. “You should have called me; I would have helped.”
“No, no. I’ve dragged you too far into this mess already. I’m sorry. It was supposed to be a vacation for you.” He forces a smile, but there’s no hiding the sorrow behind it. “I’m going to make it up to you.”
I wiggle my toes and grin. “I believe you owe me a foot rub. You can start there.”
Gripping one ankle, he digs his thumb into the arch.
Immediately, an unexpected moan escapes my lips. Lock that shit down, Millie. You should have gotten out all your moans during recording.
I clear my throat and tamp down on the relief running through me at his touch. “What about Kane?”
Ezra switches to my other foot. “I went to Mano’s and talked to his mom. Kane’s grades really are pretty bad, but honestly, I’m not surprised. He lost his mom, then he had to pick up and move to a place where he knew no one. The issue isn’t that he’s been slacking off. I put in a call to the school to get him enrolled in the summer program, and Mano’s mother said he’s welcome for as long as needed.”
“Are you okay with that?”
“I think I am.” Wearing a thoughtful expression, he twists his mouth to one side. “For now, at least.”
I stare at his profile, his loose hair brushing his shoulders.
An urge to tuck it behind his ear hits me hard, so I give in and do just that.
Squeezing my foot, he zeroes in on me, a grin tugging at his lips. “Would you mind sitting with me while I watch TV for a bit? I just need to shut my brain off. ”
“Not at all.” I scoop the remote up off the coffee table and hand it to him.
Ezra takes it, then pulls me in closer. Though I should probably push back, I sink into his touch instead. I’m instantly engulfed in the spicy scent of his beard oil and the warmth of his body. We’re too close. But it’s clear that this is what he needs right now.
Plus, it’s just cuddling.