Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty
Several times a month, Niles spent a considerable amount of time shooting videos.
With the magic of cameras, he created a compelling, sex-infused illusion for their subscribers. It was fantasy, and there was rarely a connection between any of the participants.
Many were friends away from the set and often went for a drink or food afterward. Everyone he worked with was a professional.
They showed up ready to work, not have an illicit affair.
So he knew the same was true for Brandy when she subbed at the Den.
She enjoyed what she did, liked the money, had responsibilities to take care of.
But he wanted to be the only man fucking her.
The idea of watching other men force her to kneel, chain her to a wall, paddle her ass, or whip her ripe breasts made fire churn in his belly.
He didn’t have the right to ask her to quit and he was a possessive, selfish bastard for even entertaining the thought.
But there it was.
Raw truth.
He wanted Brandy as his.
Mine. Only mine.
So what in the fresh, fucking hell was he going to do about it?
* * * *
When Niles awakened on Sunday morning, Brandy was outside on the balcony, a cup of coffee nearby on the small metal table.
She had pulled her bare feet up onto the chair and was using her knees as a table of sorts for a pad of paper.
From where he stood inside the sliding glass door, he watched her.
Her hand moved quickly across the page.
Engrossed, she never paused or looked up.
She’d dressed in jeans and the T-shirt he’d discarded last night.
That she was comfortable in his clothing spoke to an easy intimacy found between longtime lovers.
Is that what we are…? Lovers?
He waited for a panicky sensation to clobber him.
But it didn’t.
Intrigued, he continued to be a voyeur.
Her hair was curtained around her, still containing waves from last night’s bondage.
It suited her perfectly.
Until she tamed it, it would be a reminder of their time together, every bit as much as the couple of still-fading welts she was sure to have.
Images of their scene flashed through him, making his cock stir.
Then again, everything about her appealed to his baser nature.
A minute or so later, when she still hadn’t looked up, Niles returned to the kitchen to pour himself a cup of the coffee.
After the first strong sip, he decided this would be her chore anytime she visited his place.
He wasn’t sure what she did differently, but her brew tasted richer, more complex than the stuff that hissed into the bottom of the carafe when he turned on the coffee maker.
After pulling on a pair of jeans, he carried his mug to the door and watched her again, waiting until she took a break.
When she lifted her hand, then her head to stare into the distance, he walked out onto the patio.
Glancing toward him, she smiled.
The temperature seemed to increase by ten degrees.
Right away, she put down the pad and pen then rose onto her toes to kiss his cheek. “I hope you don’t mind that I raided your home office for supplies.”
“You keep making the coffee and anything I have is yours.”
“Yours really is dreadful,” she said with a cheeky grin. “Oh, wait. Did I say that out loud?”
“You’re referring to the coffee I made at your place?”
“I am.”
He put down his cup to smack her bottom, the sound more impressive because his hand had landed on denim.
She yelped, but grinned as she rubbed her rear. “Again, Sir, that’s no incentive to make me behave.”
“It wasn’t meant to.” His voice emerged gruffer than he’d intended.
“Then we’re thinking along the same lines.” Lifting up onto her toes once again, she linked her hands behind his neck. “I know I’m being presumptuous, Sir, but I’ve been thinking about you. Will you kiss me?”
He did.
Long.
Hard.
Slow.
When he ended it, they were both breathing heavily.
Her nipples were erect, pressing against him, which meant she’d honored his wishes to skip wearing a bra.
His hard-on was from more than morning interest. It came from a deep-seated desire for her.
“That was everything I could have hoped for, Sir.” She unfurled her arms to wrap them around her waist. “Thank you.”
Before sitting, he adjusted his pants.
With her gaze, she tracked his movements.
“What are you working on?” Picking up his cup, he took a seat.
“Ideas for your website.” She offered him the pad she’d been working on. “I don’t mind you looking.”
He took a quick glance.
“I didn’t like anything I did with your logo, so I took another swipe at it.”
Impressive.“Even freehand, this is good. Cleaned up on the computer, it will be crisp and sharp.”
“I’ll try to get you something by tomorrow.”
“You work fast.”
“When opportunity knocks, it pays to answer the door.”
“Indeed.”
She dropped down in the seat next to his. “If you’re interested, you can flip back a few pages to see some ideas I had for your aunt’s rebranding. I hope she won’t mind.”
“As long as you got rid of that godawful pink, I’ll consider it a win.”
She laughed. “I’m leaning toward some blues and greens.”
“I’ll pay for the redesign myself if that’s the case.”
“I’m happy to do the work on spec. If she doesn’t like it, then it costs her nothing.”
Now he was considering hiring a business coach for her. “You’re too damn talented to work without a contract.”
“I’m trying to grow my company. It’s what I need to do, right?” She gave a fatalistic shrug. “Anyway, I’ve updated the font and kept most of the information. But I’ve broken it up in new ways. Shorter, more readable chunks.”
“May I?”
“You have suggestions?”
“A couple.”
With a nod, she picked up her pen and gave it to him.
He added a few arrows to move stuff around then offered the pad back to her.
“Could work.” She nodded. “I like it. Any ideas on yours?”
He found a blank piece of paper.
After sketching his logo, he placed his company name below it and to the right. He added a bold line next to it.
“Might work.”
“You sound skeptical.”
“You’re the client.” She smiled. “I’m happy to do whatever you want.”
“That means you don’t like it.”
For a second, she pressed her lips together, as if crafting a strategic response. “I wouldn’t say that, exactly, Sir.”
“Then…?”
“Do you want honesty?”
“Of course.”
She shot him a grin then said, “It’s a lot like your coffee.”
He quirked an eyebrow.
“Your idea sucks.”
“Shit, Brandy.” He whistled. “You don’t hold back.”
“You’re the one who said you didn’t want me to keep my opinion to myself,” she reminded him, head tipped to one side.
“But that was brutal, woman.”
She laughed.
With her infectious enthusiasm, and the fact she was spending her morning working on his corporate image, how could he take offense?
Then, together, they took turns with the notepad until they both nodded in satisfaction.
“This is good.” Enthusiastic approval threaded her words. “Like really good. I like it.”
So did he.
“I’ll mock it up on the computer and get it back to you in the next day or two.”
“We make a good team.”
“Yeah.”
They gazed at each other.
“We do, indeed, Sir.”
With celebratory grins, they clinked the rims of their cups together.
After a drink, she wrinkled her nose.
“It’s cold.”
“Yeah. Mine, too.”
By unspoken agreement, they went inside.
She dumped out the old coffee, then she refilled the cups while he started breakfast.
Since the sun suddenly burst through the early-morning clouds, they decided to return to the patio to eat.
Afterward, they cleaned the kitchen together. He loaded the dishwasher while she put items away and wiped down the countertops.
For a moment, he considered her, imagining them sharing a life, cooking breakfast together every day.
Again, the thought of spending a lifetime with Brandy caught him off guard.
No matter how often he tried to shove it away, it returned and persisted.
Shockingly, he wasn’t sure he wanted a future without her in it.
Acting, rather than thinking, Niles captured her shoulders and brought her in close.
“Sir?”
Wordlessly, he feathered the long length of her hair back from her face then devoured her with a kiss that communicated everything he was unable to express.
When it ended, they were both gulping in breaths of air, and she pressed her hand to her chest.
Her beautiful blue eyes were wide, unblinking, and tears pooled in their depths. “Master Niles…” She pressed her lips together. “I…”
Though he waited for her to continue, she shook her head.
A million words, all unsaid, hung between them.
After finally blinking, she turned and took a step away from him, busying herself by folding a dish towel.
“Shall I brew another pot of coffee?” he asked to fill the looming, suddenly fraught silence.
“Thanks.” She blinked a few times, then shook her head. “But I need to get back.”
He exhaled. “Right away?”
“As soon as I pack up my stuff yes. Will you arrange for the driver?”
This moment had been inevitable.
And just as inevitably, he despised it. “You sure you’ve had enough caffeine?”
“There’s never enough,” she admitted.
Especially with the lack of sleep they’d had.
“Your driver is wonderful. He stopped at my favorite ice cream and coffee shop in Frisco on the way down. Maybe I can talk him into letting me grab another one on the way back through.”
“I’ll go with you.”
“Thanks, but…” She trailed off. “I’d rather you didn’t.”
The actual hell?
Finally, after swallowing, she continued, “I appreciate the offer.”
When he remained silent, she explained herself. “The longer we spend together, the harder it will be to say goodbye.”
Fuck.
“When I get home, the pets will need some attention, and I have to get myself ready to go to the Den. I have deadlines this week. Also, I didn’t get through as much laundry as I’d hoped before I left Granby last week. And…”
And…
A million excuses.
No reasons. Just excuses. “I get it.”
Keeping distance between them, she added, “Thank you, Sir. I had a wonderful weekend. I’ve never been spoiled like this. It was amazing.”
“You deserve it, Brandy, and so much more. We’ll have to do it again.”
“Reality intrudes.” Purposefully, she’d sidestepped a direct answer.
Which, he supposed, was an answer in itself. Even if he didn’t want to hear it.
“It’s time for the coach to turn back into a pumpkin, and for the chores to be done.”
There was so much more he wanted to say, should say.
But he couldn’t.
Instead, he called the driver then put on shoes while she slipped into her suede boots and gathered her toiletries from the counter in his bathroom.
All too soon, they were outside, where the vehicle was waiting.
Niles placed her luggage in the back before walking with her to the door that the driver was standing near.
With a tiny wave, she gave him a fragile smile.
“Let me know when you get home?”
“I’ve got a ton of things to accomplish before I go to work,” she hedged.
Goddamn it.
He scowled. “I’d appreciate a telephone call to let me know you’re safe.”
“I’m sure your driver is competent. And you’d be the first to know if something out of the ordinary should happen.”
That he couldn’t argue with.
“I will send you an email when I have something to show you on your website, though.”
Her continued, false smile pissed him off. “Is there a reason you’re refusing to talk to me?”
Her smile faded, and she gripped the handle of her purse. “Of course there is.”
“Of course?”What the hell does that mean?
If she’d grabbed a battering ram and knocked him in the head, he couldn’t have been less prepared for her answer.
He’d expected her to politely demure, insisting everything was fine.
But always, Brandy—his Brandy—was unfailingly honest.
And because he ached to take her in his arms, he shoved his hands in his pockets. “Enlighten me.”
Her knuckles now turning white, she sighed. “We had a great weekend, and I appreciate your hospitality. But we can’t fool ourselves into pretending that it’s anything more.” She slid into the backseat. “You invited me to your aunt’s fundraiser. I had a good time. End of the fairy tale.”
“Friends would let each other know they’re okay.”
Though she looked at him, eyes wide, she remained resolved. “I’ve told you before, I don’t see you as a friend.”
The battering ram was back, this time knocking him in the solar plexus. “What the fuck just happened here, Brandy?”
This time, she hesitated. “Nothing.”
“That’s a lie. I demand better than that. I deserve better than that. We deserve better than that.”
“Do we?” she asked softly, so softly that he strained to hear her.
The driver stepped aside to look at his phone then folded his arms behind his back, pretending to be disinterested in what was happening around him.
Brandy fastened her belt before continuing. “You want the truth?” She squeezed her eyes shut, as if this were painful for her.
But this was equally shitty for him.
“You may not like my answers.”
Well he sure as cold hell didn’t like not knowing.
“I told you about my relationship with Reyes. What you don’t know is I have to protect myself from my own brand of craziness. You once asked if I collected animals instead of humans. I do. I’d be an idiot to spend any more time with you, because I could easily fall for you. This morning…” She swallowed deeply and blinked. “While we were cleaning up together, it felt so…right.”
Like it did for him.
“I adore your aunt. I love the sex. The way I feel when I’m with you is amazing.”
The way they were together, kisses, scenes, fucking… “Then…” Confused, he dragged a hand into his hair.
“Look, Niles…”
Fuck it to damnation.
For the first time ever outside of a public setting, she’d addressed him as Niles. Not Master Niles. Not Sir.
“There is too much distance between us.”
He shook his head. “I can come see you.” There were ways to solve this.
“I’m not talking about physical miles.”
Confused, he scowled.
“You’d happily invite me down and treat me this way every weekend.”
“Like a princess,” he affirmed, nodding his agreement.
“But you’re not ready for anything more. A commitment and everything that goes along with it.”
Tears clung to her eyelashes.
“You can’t pretend it’s not true. Can you?” she challenged.
“Goddamn it.”
“You’re hung up on your wife.”
“Deadwife,” he snapped.
“Which is worse, maybe. I can’t compete with a ghost. Won’t.” She shook her head. “It’s not fair to me. Or to you, for that matter.”
If she only knew.
But she didn’t.
Because he didn’t trust his own emotions when it came to Eleanor. To women.
“I gave you an opening, but you didn’t deny it. You’re stuck in the past, and I’m too smart to offer you my heart. Staying, seeing you again will destroy me.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “I can’t take that risk. You have to understand.”
“You’re the last person I’d want to hurt.” So sweet, so innocent.
“The thing is, I believe you. You don’t want to hurt me, but you wouldn’t be able to help yourself. Now please…” She reached for the door handle, and he put his body firmly in the opening to prevent her from completely shutting him out.
“Let me go. I’m going to be running late.”
He should honor her wishes, but he couldn’t. “We need to talk some more about this.” Make her see reason.
“There’s nothing else to say…” Her voice got so soft that he barely heard her. “Is there? Honestly? I’ve said what I needed to. Unless you’ve got anything?”
She looked at him, expectantly, hopefully.
And he was a bastard who couldn’t give her what she wanted.
Instead, he was wading through a field of emotional landmines with no fucking sense of direction. “I have to see you again.”
“That won’t be possible.”
“What the hell do you mean by that?”
“Don’t make this any harder than it has to be.” Her body sagged a little. “I’m sorry, Niles. This is it.”
“You’re giving me an ultimatum?” Helplessness slammed into impotent frustration. “It doesn’t have to be all or nothing,” he insisted.
“With the way I feel?” she countered softly. “The way I’m already invested? Yes. It has to be all or nothing for me.”
Her voice was roughened from the emotion she choked back.
Brandy Hess breathed life and joy into his days, and he didn’t want to let her go.
“Please respect my decision.”
Part of him didn’t want to release her, but he’d never hold a woman against her will.
“I don’t like it.”
“Neither do I,” she admitted.
Having no other choice, he sighed and stepped away while she sealed herself off from him.
The driver climbed behind the wheel and gave him a sharp nod before sliding the gearshift into reverse.
He backed out and Brandy busied herself with something or other, refusing to meet Niles’s gaze.
The vehicle drove away without her ever looking back.
Now what the fuck was he supposed to do?
Looking skyward, he vowed he wouldn’t let her get away so easily.
No fucking way.