35. Leah
Chapter thirty-five
Leah
If finding a job without accidentally ruining my life were an Olympic event, I’d be taking home gold right now. Or maybe bronze, at best.
I’m staring at my laptop screen in a quiet little coffee shop a few blocks from my apartment, desperately trying to avoid my father’s world of corporate hell. At this point, I’ve almost convinced myself that sending out resumes to random companies is a sign of progress. Penny is across the table, grinning as she raises her phone.
“I don’t want a picture,” I say, covering my face with my hands.
“Smile.” The flash goes off, and she checks out the image. “Oof. Leah, you look like one of the cast of Friends if they were pregnant and unhappy,” she says, tossing me a look that’s half sympathy, half amusement.
I snort, burying my face in my hands for a moment. “Wow, thanks for that warm, life-affirming visual, Pen.”
She shrugs, her mischievous smile intact. “Just saying. But you know, it wouldn’t be that bad to have this little nugget on board,” she says, lowering her voice. “I mean, if you decide to keep it, which I’m rooting for. I’ll make a fabulous godmother, thank you very much.”
Her words hang in the air between us. She knows I haven’t made a choice on what to do about the pregnancy yet. Do I keep it? Do I not?
I sigh, closing the laptop. “I don’t know, Penny. I mean, am I ready to have a kid? How about my career? Can I do this alone? Silas doesn’t want anything to do with me, and I’ve got a whole world of unresolved father issues with dear old Harvey. Great foundation for a child, right?”
Penny reaches across the table, giving my hand a little squeeze. “Babe, you have more love in you than you know. And you don’t have to have it all figured out right now. Also, what do you mean alone ? You have me!”
“Oh, shut up.” I laugh softly.
I try to absorb that as I watch her. Penny has this breezy confidence about her, this ability to throw herself into life without thinking twice. Like right now, her gaze has shifted out the window, where a man in a blue sweatshirt and black jeans hangs outside a bagel shop, giving her a once-over.
They exchange a look, a little smirk, and suddenly, she’s miles away from this conversation.
“Are you two going to eye-fuck across the road or actually talk?” I tease her when he enters the shop, shaking my head.
“Oh, please. I don’t chase. I attract,” she grins, and her confidence is hilarious and enviable. She stands up, smoothing down her patterned sundress. “I’m getting us bagels. And if he’s at the counter . . . well, bagels won’t be the only thing I’m getting.”
I roll my eyes, watching her saunter off with the subtle sway she knows is enough to catch his attention without being obvious. She’s impossible. And yet, in moments like this, I kind of wish I could be her, even just for a day—throw caution to the wind, maybe have a meaningless fling, and leave all my worries behind.
But instead, here I am, pregnant, miserable, and contemplating a life path that’s spiraling out of my control. The second Penny’s gone, I sink back into my chair, eyeing the lineup of job listings on my laptop screen. None of them looks particularly exciting. But then again, I’ve given up on exciting.
Right now, I’m going for anything that doesn’t require working with Dad.
My mind drifts back to Silas, his arms around me, to the moments when I thought this would work. But all I got in return was a reminder of how much I don’t fit into his life.
And as if summoned by my darkest thoughts, in walks my father. The moment I see him, I freeze. How did he know I would be here?
“What the hell? Is he tracking me?” I mutter.
Dad stands out in this warm, homey coffee shop like a bear at a tea party—gray suit, perfectly pressed white shirt, and a face that looks like it hasn’t cracked a genuine smile since 1985. His gaze zeroes in on me, and he heads straight over, a faint sneer twisting his mouth as he glances around the room with unmistakable disdain.
“Dad. W-what are you doing here?” I sputter, trying to wrap my head around the fact that he’s just randomly here. I can’t decide if I’m more shocked or annoyed. “How did you know I was here?”
“Leah,” he says, sliding into Penny’s seat as if he owns the place. “It doesn’t matter how I knew where you were. You look like crap.”
A familiar fury rises in my chest, but I force a smile. “Gee, thanks, Dad. I aim to please.”
“You should clean yourself up and—”
“How did you know where to find me?”
He glances at his watch and back at me. “I had one of my guys track your phone.”
“Jesus, Dad! What the fuck? You’re having me tracked now?!”
“I just had to be sure you weren’t sneaking over to Silas’s place. The last thing I want is you going back to—”
“That’s a massive invasion of privacy, Dad. What the hell?”
He frowns, adjusting his cufflinks with a look of exasperation. “Enough with the pearl-clutching. You’re sitting here, wasting time, moping over a man who clearly doesn’t want you when you could be working and building something with real potential at the company.”
I lean back, crossing my arms. “Oh, so it’s my fault I actually have feelings, right? Maybe I don’t want to build anything with the company, Dad. Maybe I’d rather live a life that doesn’t involve crushing everyone around me.”
“This is your life, Leah. The company, it’s your birthright.”
“No, thanks. I’ll pass.”
The muscles in his jaw twitch. I can see he’s barely holding back from snapping. But he swallows whatever retort was on his lips. Instead, he folds his hands, leaning closer, his tone icy.
“Emotions don’t get you anywhere, Leah.” He shakes his head. “Feelings? They pass. You know what remains? Legacy! Legacy remains!”
“Want to talk about legacy?” I touch my belly, and Dad’s gaze drops, following my hands. “I’m pregnant, Dad.”
“NO!” he yells and draws people’s attention in the shop. “You’re pregnant for him?”
The word falls out of his mouth like it’s something filthy. He looks at me, his shock barely concealed behind an angry veneer.
I bite my lip, resisting the urge to throw my coffee at him. “Yes. And I’d appreciate it if you could treat this like actual news, not some scandal for the tabloids.”
Harvey’s mouth thins to a hard line. “How could you be so careless, Leah? I raised you to be smarter than this.”
Raised me?
“Oh, please, Dad. You don’t get to act all disappointed now. You checked out of parenting years ago. This isn’t a disaster. It’s my life.”
Our voices have risen, and people are glancing over. I feel a flash of shame, but it only lasts a second. Let them see him for who he really is.
He scoffs, clearly rattled but hiding it behind a sneer. “Your life? You’re ruining your life, Leah. And as for Silas? I have no problem with continuing to ruin his. I’ll take every chance I get.”
The way he says it, as if this child—my child—is nothing but an inconvenience, makes my stomach twist in revulsion. “Go ahead. If that’s the kind of father you want to be,” I say, my voice shaking. “All it’ll do is make me hate you more and make your grandchild hate you too.”
His face darkens, and I can tell he’s losing control. “Silas was a mistake, Leah. One you’re better off leaving behind.”
“Funny,” I reply, unable to keep the bitterness out of my tone. “You act like he’s the reason we’re lost. But no, he’s not. I’m not with him right now, and I still can’t stand you.”
There’s a beat of silence, and I think for a second he might actually feel something, but then he recoils as if I’d slapped him. Before he can recover, the barista comes over, eyeing him with suspicion.
“Miss, is everything okay here? Do you need help?” he asks, looking at me and then giving Harvey a hard stare.
Harvey waves him off, his usual arrogance back in place. “Mind your own business. I’m her father.”
“ This is my business, por favor .” The barista isn’t fazed. He looks right at me again. “Ma’am?”
I smile, relieved. “No, actually, I’m fine. Thank you,” I say, pointedly ignoring my father.
Harvey clenches his jaw, his fury simmering. “Whatever you need for the baby, I’m going to be there, but I—”
“I don’t need you, Dad.”
“You’re going to do this alone?” He looks at me like I’m crazy.
“If I have to, yes.”
“Leah—”
“Just go, Dad.”
He stares at me, and I don’t know if I’m crazy, but he doesn’t look angry anymore. He looks . . . concerned—scared, even.
“You can’t raise this baby alone.”
“Watch me.”
I stare him down, watching him storm out, his presence leaving a trail of cold tension in his wake. The air feels lighter when he’s gone, though I’m still shaking from the confrontation.
Penny finally returns, wide-eyed, looking between me and the door Harvey just exited. “I just saw your dad outside. Did I miss something?”
I take a deep breath, letting out a shaky laugh. “You did, and it was a performance worthy of an Oscar. But it also helped me make a decision.”
Penny leans forward, her eyebrows raised in excitement. “And?”
I reach over, holding her hand as I whisper, “I’m keeping the baby.”