Chapter 12
After ensuring Elmo was cared for, Malcolm and Clare headed to his bike. His eyes scanned the area for trouble. He didn’t like the fact that men had shown up here looking for their wives or girlfriends. What Clare was doing was dangerous, even more so with Shifters. He wanted to say something but felt it wasn’t his place. He had no control over what this beautiful woman did, yet everything in his body screamed for him to protect her at all costs.
“Hope you don’t mind riding on my bike,” Malcolm said, pulling on his riding gloves. “I figured that Tammy wanted to be with her brother, and they had a car seat for Ben.”
“No, it’s fine.” Clare smiled at him. “I would have suggested the same thing.”
Malcolm nodded and pulled off his jacket. “Here,” he handed it to her. “It’s a longer ride than to your house from Roxy’s.”
“What about you?” She asked, hesitating to take his coat.
“I’m a Shifter. I have an internal heating system.” He said, then grinned as she put on his coat. It swallowed her. Reaching out, he rolled up the cuffs the best he could until her hands showed up. “There.”
“Thanks,” she said, looking down at herself. “It’s more like a dress than a coat.”
Malcolm’s eyes scanned her in his coat, disappointed it indeed hid her body from his sight. His gaze met hers. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.” Clare nodded, wrapping her arms around herself and burying deeper into his coat.
“Why do you put yourself in danger for strangers?” Malcolm asked, then noticed her smile slip into a frown.
“Everyone at one time in their lives needs help, Malcolm,” Clare replied, searching his eyes. “It’s a lonely world when you have no one. Most of the women I help are afraid to reach out for help. Most don’t. But when they do, I make sure that I am there to do whatever I can to help them. Danger is around every corner. I’m a human who works and lives in a Shifter community. Your world is dangerous. I’ve seen some pretty crazy things in my life. I would hope that if I ever found myself in the same situation as some of the women I’ve helped, there would be someone willing to help me find a better life.”
His respect for her soared as he listened to her words, spoken with such conviction that he felt empowered. Then he remembered…remembered what his sister had endured, and he had done nothing. “I wish my sister would have had someone like you to help her.” His eyes shifted from hers, not wanting to share his shame with this beautiful, selfless woman.
“Malcolm, I don’t know any of these women when they contact me. The circumstances between what I do and what happened with you and your sister are not the same.” Clare stated, which made Malcolm snort.
“You don’t know anything about our situation.” He sounded harsher than he intended, but that was what happened when the disgust he felt for himself crept up on him. He took it out on anything or anyone near him whether he wanted to or not. It just happened. “We best be going.” And then came running away from the conversation which is what he was doing right now.
“You’re right. I don’t know your story, but I’ve been doing this long enough to pretty much guess.” Clare didn’t move toward the bike. “How many times did Jamie tell you she didn’t need your help?”
Malcolm didn’t respond, but she was right. That had been the case in most of their fights. She would tell him to mind his own business and let it go.
“When family is involved, most women will do anything to protect their family from the hell they are going through. Another reason is embarrassment.” Clare said, then added. “Whatever happened, I know for a fact that Jamie thinks highly of you, and she’s very lucky to have you. You’re a good man, Malcolm.”
Hearing those words, Malcolm felt like someone punched him in the gut. “A good man would not watch as his sister was treated worse than trash.” He hissed, his eyes narrowing as he took a step toward her, his voice raised. “A good man would not find solace in the bottom of a bottle watching his pack be obliterated. That’s who I am, Clare. Never mistake that.”
Clare stood her ground, not backing down. “I’ve stared in the faces of some bad men. I’ve felt what I deem as evil, and you, Malcolm, are far from that. We all have regrets in this life, but what matters is how we deal with them and move on. Your sister loves you no matter what you think. The only person you need forgiveness from is yourself.” Clare stepped close, reaching out and touching his arm. “You saved my life. I don’t know what it is, but I feel protected and safe when I’m around you. I’ve never really had that before. Sure, I’m surrounded by Shifter men who are, at times, overprotective…but with you, it’s different. I see your worth; maybe it’s time you also saw it.”
Malcolm wanted to reject her words so badly, but the words of rejection wouldn’t come. Their gazes were locked on each other as they stood alone in the empty parking lot. He felt the hatred he had for himself lighten slightly as if there was hope for him.
His hand rose slowly to cup her face as if it had a will of its own. She didn’t flinch, didn’t smack his hand away in disgust. Clare leaned her face into his hand, her gaze never breaking contact. Malcolm’s wolf stirred inside him, demanding he take her, but Malcolm calmed that side of himself. At that moment, he knew this beautiful woman was his, no doubt about it, and yet, deep down, he also knew that he was not good enough for her. Would never be good enough for her, but he’d be damned if he let this moment pass without tasting her.
Clare was shockedby her intense feelings for this man; the pull he had on her was something she had never experienced before. His touch felt right, and she wanted nothing more than for him to kiss her. This was so not like her. She didn’t even kiss a man on a first date, which she was not on with Malcolm. What in the hell was happening to her?
She physically felt the pain in his words and witnessed the turmoil in his eyes. Knowing he was fighting a battle within himself Clare knew the best thing for her to do was to back away, but she couldn’t move. Didn’t want to move away, she only wanted to move forward…toward him.
His hand grasped her neck, and he leaned down toward her. “Tell me no, Clare.” He whispered, his eyes searching hers.
“I can’t.” She whispered back, tilting her head back in anticipation.
He cursed under his breath. “I’m not good for you.” He closed his eyes, not coming any closer.
“Malcolm.” She reached up, cupping his face as his eyes slowly opened. “Shut up.”
A growl rumbled deep in his throat as their lips brushed against each other softly at first, a tentative exploration of desire. Then, with a surge of passion, they pressed together more firmly, igniting a fiery exchange of longing and yearning. In that electrifying moment, time seemed to stand still as they lost themselves in the intoxicating sensation of their embrace. As they finally pulled away, breathless, they knew they had shared something truly magical, and then his cell phone rang.
“Dammit.” Malcolm cursed, pulling further away from her.
Clare touched her lips staring at Malcolm’s back as he turned away from her talking on the phone as if nothing had just happened. And maybe for him, nothing had. She, on the other hand, felt as if her heart was going to beat out of her chest. Her whole body felt on fire, and never in her life had she felt a reaction to a single kiss like this. Taking in a deep shuddering breath, she dropped her shaking hand from her mouth, knowing she was in deep trouble where this man was involved.
Still on the phone, Clare couldn’t even make out the words he was saying. It was like he was speaking in a different language. All she could do was stare as if all the power to move or even comprehend reality had left her body.
Malcolm turned to look at her, and the total lack of emotion on his face hit her like a brick. The kiss hadn’t had the same effect on him as it had on her. Okay, that was a sobering realization. His mouth was moving. He was no longer on the phone and was staring straight at her.
“What?” She said, still trying to find a speck of emotion in his eyes but saw none. Nothing. Her heart sank to her stomach, making her want to heave onto the concrete parking lot, but she didn’t. She refused to show anything that she was feeling.
“Are you okay?” He frowned, watching her closely.
Oh God, could he tell how much the kiss had affected her. “I’m fine.” She responded, happy that her voice held strong and didn’t shake or squeak past her tight throat.
He looked away, putting the phone in his back pocket. “That was Dell. He told me to take you home and he would talk to you in the morning. Tammy and her brother are going to stay with Garrett and Janna.”
“But I have plenty of room.” Clare frowned, really wanting to talk to Tammy.
“Tammy and Ben are tired,” Malcolm replied, still not really looking at her, which said a lot. “And Dell didn’t like the idea of Brock staying with you. Garrett’s place is a lot bigger with more rooms.”
“Oh,” Clare replied, realizing that was probably for the best. “That makes sense. And he’s right. Tammy is probably exhausted. I can talk to her tomorrow.”
“Yeah, well, it’s getting late. I best get you home.” Malcolm said, turning toward his bike.
When he turned away, Clare felt the sudden urge to smack him on the back of the head. How fucking dare he kiss her then act like nothing happened. What a dick. The least he could do was acknowledge the kiss...maybe. I mean, she knew she wasn’t a terrible kisser. She had made a few men moan with her tongue. Okay, that was a weird and gross thought, but her brain went to strange places when she was pissed.
“Sure,” Clare said and heard the bitchiness in her own voice but didn’t care.
Getting on the bike, she refused to look at him. Once he was on and the bike started, she didn’t want to hold on to him. She wanted no reaction to this man whatsoever, and she was afraid if she wrapped her arms around his waist, those intense feelings would come back with a vengeance. Yeah, no thank you. Instead, she grabbed onto the seat behind her as best she could and waited for him to take off, but he didn’t move.
“You need to hold on, Clare,” Malcolm said over the bike’s engine.
“I am.” Clare answered back. Maybe she was acting a little unhinged about the whole kissing thing but damn he could have at least acted like he didn’t just kiss a horse’s ass or something worse. What was worse than kissing a horses ass she didn’t know, but she was sure there was something. Clare rolled her eyes at her thoughts, wondering why she was so bothered. Unfortunately, she knew why. Her heart, which she guarded so well in the past, was now involved.
“If the bike tilts, you are going to fall off.” Malcolm glanced at her over his shoulder.
Like he would care, she snorted to herself and then sighed. That wasn’t fair. She was acting like a child and needed to get over herself. With another sigh, she let go of the seat and wrapped her arms around his waist just as her heart began jumping in her chest. It was just a damn kiss.