Chapter 17 - Amanda
Music swirls around me, excited laughter enhancing the melody. Sounds seem to flow right through me as I bounce and shimmy, dancing with complete abandon in a crowd of witches and wolves.
It’s been a hell of a day, but I can’t imagine a better ending.
The music pauses briefly, and the crowd jeers in protest. Up on the deck, Jenks waves his hands, then returns them to the turntable with a flourish. A new mixed beat comes pouring out of the speakers, and the crowd roars its approval.
I close my eyes, feeling the music as well as hearing it. I can sense lines of energy moving all around me, from the grass, the trees, even from the stars. Cold wind blows gently down from the high peaks, leaving pools of still calm around the edges of the grassy clearing.
“Hey, you okay?” Gina asks, wrapping an arm around my waist. “You aren’t sleeping on your feet, are you?”
“Nope,” I answer, grinning. “Just vibing.”
“Hmmm, me too!” Gina laughs. “Finally, some good vibes.”
“I know. It’s been a hell of a day.”
When I woke up in Body’s arms this morning, I was already conflicted enough. I didn’t need to go straight into a meeting that directly questioned the motives of my relationship.
Because no matter how sure I am of my feelings, there will always be the knowledge that my marriage to Body triggered the return of my powers. Even if I learn how to trust myself, there’s no reason anyone else should.
“Come on,” Gina says. “Let’s get a drink. I’ll fall down if I don’t take a rest.”
“I hear ya,” I agree, letting her lead me up the stairs to the deck.
Jenks’s place is just how I remember it. The long wooden cabin has bedrooms at both ends with a huge kitchen and living room in the center, a similar design to Body’s place. The main glass doors lead to a massive deck that runs the length of the cabin, extending out to the pool and hot tub.
“Oh, lord,” Gina mutters. “There are some weirdos in the pool. It must be freezing in there.”
“There’s a couple of witches in the water,” I point out with a grin. “They might have it warmed up.”
“Even so, you have to get out sometime. The wind isn’t too strong tonight, but the air is cold.”
“That’s true. It’s very unusual that there’s no breeze.”
“Let’s just thank the stars we got some nice weather. Bae’s little meet-and-greet would have gone to hell if it snowed.”
“I don’t know,” I muse. “Jenks’s place is huge. We’d just be crammed into the theatre room.”
“I hold by my statement,” Gina says, rolling her eyes. “I sure as hell don’t want to get squished in there.”
We reach the coolers along with the long line of chairs and loungers close to the door. Gina pulls out a couple of premixed cocktails and hands me one. I take a big sip of the strawberry fizz, tasting the tang of vodka under the sweet red juice.
I collapse into a nearby lounger, putting my head back so I can look at the stars. Gina sits beside me, and for a moment we just quietly sip our drinks, listening to the sounds of celebration around us.
“I don’t like to break the mood, but I am disappointed that so many didn’t come,” Gina says.
“It’s okay,” I reply. “I’ve been thinking about it, too. All of New Hope and most of Silver Meadows are here, as well as my coven and the witches in town. But only a few from Silverton or the wild pack.”
“It’s a clear declaration,” Gina says somberly. “By not attending, they’re showing a complete lack of support for the new direction.”
“What happens next?”
“I don’t know,” Gina answers. “I suppose Bae will meet with Decker and Kelta—as peacefully as possible, most likely.”
“I hope it works.”
“So do I.”
I stretch out on the lounger, sipping my drink and watching the sky. The nostalgia is so powerful that the years I spent in the canyon feel like a dream. The familiar setting of Jenks’s house, the party music, and the sounds of people having fun—this was my world once.
Except for one thing: I was always watching Body from a distance while he pretended to ignore me. He’d always find me, and we’d slip away to fool around… but never in front of his friends.
It’s an old wound, but it still cuts deep. At the time, I told myself over and over that it was just about his parents, but that did little to comfort me when I saw cheerleaders dangling all over him.
Will you put your big girl panties on and get over it? You married the guy. Isn’t that enough?
“Oh, sorry,” Gina says to someone, her voice breaking me out of my reverie. “I didn’t realize I was in your seat.”
“You’re not,” I hear Body answer.
I open my eyes to see Gina getting up and shoving Body into the seat next to me. “I sure am,” she laughs. “You kids have fun.”
I sit up and lean over to give Body a quick kiss. He tastes like beer and smells like steak, a tantalizing combination that makes my mouth water.
“Did you have fun dancing?” he asks.
“I really did,” I say, leaning on him. I’m not sure if he knows, but I was too self-conscious to dance much in high school. I felt like a dumpy little nerd, and I’d embarrass myself if I tried to bust a move.
Now I don’t give a damn. All I want to do is have fun, and I can’t believe I wasted so much of my life caring about what other people think.
“Did you have fun with the boys?” I ask.
“Yeah,” he replies. “But we just drank and played a bit of darts. Nothing too exciting.”
“Did Jenks kick your ass again?”
“Yup. I don’t know how he can even see the board. He’s more than halfway through a bottle of Kentucky.”
I lean against Body, giggling. The troubles of the day have melted from my mind, and I feel completely relaxed and fulfilled in a way I never have before.
Returning to one of those spaces where I didn’t seem to fit and making it my own has healed a wound in me I didn’t even know I had.
“Hey,” Body mutters, his lips brushing my cheek. “Do you want to go and fool around in the garden, like we used to?”
His words trigger a violent response in me, threatening the peace I’d only just found.
“No,” I say firmly. “I want to fool around right here.”
“Okay,” Body agrees, putting down his drink. He pulls me close to him and kisses me, slowly and gently at first, then with rising intensity.
I’m almost in his lap when I push him away and slide back on my lounger. He looks up with a confused expression.
Poor boy. He’s so drunk, I shouldn’t be playing with him, but it’s not like I’m exactly clear-headed, either.
“What?” he says.
“You come over here,” I say, waving him over.
I don’t want it to feel like I’m chasing him. I want him to want me right here, in front of everyone.
Yeah. It’s potentially immature, but I’m just going to own that.
Body eagerly jumps over to my lounger, snuggling up beside me and wrapping his arms around me. The warmth of his body, his breath on my neck, and his hard grip thrill me, satisfying a deep need for validation I was afraid to admit I needed.
Nothing like a few cruisers to exorcise teenage trauma.
“Hmm,” Body murmurs as he snuggles in even tighter, kissing my neck. “I’m so sorry, Amanda. I’m sorry I made you feel bad. But I’m sorry to myself as well.”
“Oh, yeah?” I chuckle. “This one’s going to be good.”
“Yeah,” he says with complete innocence. “I missed out on so much time with you. When I look back now, that’s all I can see. I was so tense and freaked out all the time, trying to do the ‘right’ thing and dodge my parents. Meanwhile, I was just staring at you, wishing to high hell that I could be with you.”
“Oh, Body,” I whisper, stroking his hair. “I really didn’t know how much pain it caused you or how badly you wanted me. If I had, I wouldn’t have left.”
“No,” he says, suddenly serious and sitting up so he can look into my eyes. “You had to! I deserved it, totally. You needed to grow into a strong woman, one who didn’t need a pitiful pup like me. I’m glad you punished me.”
“That’s not why I did it, but okay,” I say with a grin.
“Seriously,” Body says, looking right into my eyes. “I deserved it. I really did.”
“Say that again?”
“I deserved it.”
“One more time?”
“Amanda,” he whispers, cupping my cheek. “I deserved to be punished for what I did to you. I was a fool, a pathetic, whining little rat, and I can’t apologize enough.”
“Okay,” I say sternly. “I’m going to have to stop you right there. I can’t accept this.”
“What?” Body asks, looking truly horrified.
“You’re talking smack about my husband. I won’t have that. He fucks up, but he’s actually a really good guy, deep down.”
Body bursts out laughing, and I wrap my arms around him as we giggle together. Somewhere in the mess of tangled limbs, we find each other’s lips, and soft, light kisses slowly turn deep and passionate.
I writhe against him, pinned by the small confines of the lounger. Body’s hands roam over my body, squeezing my breasts, digging into my waist, and grabbing my hips. When his tongue searches for mine, a soft whimper escapes my throat before I lean back and completely surrender to him.
Body rolls over, pinning me down and grinding against me. I run my hands up his back and grip his hips with my thighs, tilting my head back as he kisses me even more deeply.
“We are still out on the deck, you know,” he says breathlessly.
“Yeah,” I mumble. “But it’s dark. Jenks must have turned off the backlights.”
“For us?” Body laughs.
I shrug, giggling. “Maybe? If it’s anything like his other parties, there’s a few other couples here, too, making out in the dark.”
Body takes a quick look around. “This might be the booze talking, but I can’t see a thing.”
“All I can see is you,” I murmur, pulling him back down to me and locking my arms behind his back. When our lips meet, I rock my hips against him and moan when he returns the pressure, pinning me to the chair again.
“Maybe we should, ah, find another spot. You know, if we’re going to…”
“Going to what?” I ask innocently, cocking an eyebrow.
“Well. It feels like I’m about to get lucky, and I’m not sure I should be doing it on Jenks’s deck.”
“Who says you’re getting lucky?” I tease, wriggling against him. “You’re barely at second base, pal. And for all you know, that’s all you’re going to get.”
“Oh, yeah?” he says in a fake tough-guy voice. “I’ll put you in your place, woman.”
“I’m pretty sure I like the place I’m in right now, so that’s cool. You have my permission.”
“Oh, no, you didn’t!” he laughs.
I squeeze him around the waist hard and clamp my thighs against him. “I sure did,” I murmur, opening my lips and bending towards him. His lips touch mine gently, then pull back out of reach. He dives down for another butterfly kiss, then disappears again.
“Stop it!” I protest. “Get down here and kiss me.”
“Maybe,” he considers. “Maybe not.”
I wrap myself around him, lunging for his mouth. He presses himself against my body and squeezes me, kissing me hard and deep. Pleasure runs across my skin, ringing through my bones and rushing in my blood. As Body writhes against me and his tongue caresses mine, I forget everything—the past, the conflicts. I even forget that I went away, or why I came back.
There is only this moment. This is what we should have been, without all the years of pain in between.
Suddenly, Body lifts his head, his muscles hardening as he turns his nose to the wind.
“What is it?” I whisper in alarm. I know he’s not playing now.
“I can hear something… and maybe smell something? I’m not sure.”
“Should we get the others?”
“Yeah. Even if it’s nothing, it’s better to check it out than ignore it.”
“I agree. Pity, though. I was really enjoying myself.” I grin, running a hand down his chest.
“I was, too,” he says, bending down for another kiss.
Before he can touch my lips with his, the stillness is shattered by the roar of hundreds of wolves, all baying for blood.