Forced Plus-Size Mate (Silver Meadows Wolves #6)

Chapter 19 - Amanda

The hours between Decker’s attack and dawn seem to pass very slowly. All around us, we can hear cries from injured wolves, angry outbursts from those who were betrayed by friends, and, worst of all, laments for the dead.

I sit with Body in the main living area, curled into a loveseat with a cup of hot tea wrapped in my hands. Immediately after the retreat, everyone was too injured or shocked to react, so it took some time before recovery efforts started.

Body and I weren’t of much use, with him still recovering from multiple wounds and my powers depleted from the attack and from healing him. I overextended myself for sure, and Body almost got himself killed.

“How are you two?” Fiona asks, stopping in front of us. Before I can answer, she reaches over and touches my forehead, tilting my head back so she can look into my eyes.

The gesture is so comforting and motherly, it almost brings tears to my eyes.

It’s not familiar, though. My mother sure as hell never touched me like that.

“You’re not feverish, and your pupils look good,” she says. “Do you think you can drive? You should go home if you can.”

“Yeah, I think so. If Body’s okay.” I turn to look at him and see he’s fallen asleep, curled up against me with a sweet, innocent expression on his face.

Fiona smiles. “You two will be okay. Go home and rest. A couple of the witches have neurological damage. They extended themselves too far.”

“Who?” I demand, struggling to get up. “I have to help!”

Fiona easily holds me down with one hand, glaring. “Nell and Zoe. I don’t want you anywhere near them.”

“Nell? She’s my best friend! Let me go!”

“No. The last thing we need is you healing them and giving yourself an aneurysm. You’d probably do it spontaneously, without even trying.”

“Yes, probably,” I agree stubbornly. “But I’m the strongest. I can heal them and survive.”

“I really don’t think so, but it doesn’t matter. Both of them told me they don’t want anyone else endangering themselves to heal them. They will recover on their own. It will just take time.”

I struggle with myself for a moment, desperate to argue but knowing there’s absolutely nothing I can do. In the end, I angrily wipe away my tears and shake my head, giving Body a shove.

“Hey, what… where?” he stammers.

“It’s okay, sleepyhead. We’re going home.”

“Oh. Okay. Fiona! What’s going on?”

She looks down at Body with a steady gaze, her face drawn. “There have been casualties, and we have a lot of people injured. That’s why we need anyone who’s healing but not fully functional to go home. We need to focus on healing the ones who are critical, counting the dead, and…”

“And?” Body asks.

“Giving comfort to those who are not going to survive,” she finishes.

Body turns his eyes away, his face twisting with pain. “They’ll pay for this!” he hisses.

Fiona shakes her head. “Don’t think about that now. Just get home and heal. We’ll call you with any updates, and the details for the funeral.”

Body nods, and I take his hand, squeezing it. He looks up at Fiona once more, but there is nothing left to say.

I help him up, and we go out to find Body’s truck. The sun has only just risen, the pale light leaving the edges of the world blurry and out of focus.

Or maybe that’s my concussion talking.

Body insists on driving, and I don’t really argue. I can tell he’s still not at full strength, but after what Fiona said about the other witches, I know I should take it easy until my headache settles down.

Even though we don’t speak on the drive home, we hold hands most of the way. When we get out of the truck, he immediately puts an arm around me, and I lean against him as we go inside.

“Do you need anything?” he asks. “You’ve taken such good care of me. Is there anything I can do for you?”

I shake my head. “I just want to shower and to lay down for a bit.”

“Okay. Let me know if there’s anything you need.”

I head for the bathroom, feeling a desperate need to be clean. It’s bad enough to lose friends and pack members on our side, but I’ve never killed anyone before.

I stand under the water for a long time, finally realizing that no amount of soap will clean off this feeling. I’ve dirtied my soul, and I can never undo it.

I had a good reason, but that doesn’t make me feel any better.

Afterwards, I go to the bedroom, where Body is waiting with a cup of tea and a plate of biscuits.

“I’ll shower, too,” he says, kissing my forehead lightly. “You just rest.”

I eat a few biscuits and have a sip of tea, but eventually, I just curl up in the blankets, letting my emotions wrestle each other as I lie there feeling weak and sick.

It’s not just the fight… I was opening up, letting Body in… then he almost got killed!

By the time he returns from the shower, I’m crying softly, tears streaking down my cheeks as I cling to a pillow, trying to hold in my misery.

“Hey, Amanda, whoa!” Body jumps into bed with me, cuddling me close and stroking my hair. “Are you okay?”

I shake my head helplessly. I cling to him, pressing my face against his chest.

“I mean, I know you’re not okay,” he says gently. “But is there anything urgent I should worry about?”

I shake my head. “No, it’s okay. I just… it’s been a lot to deal with.”

“I know,” he pulls back to look into my eyes. “But we’re together, and we’ll face it together from now on. You don’t have to be scared.”

“But that’s what I’m scared of, Body!” I yell. “You, and us, and—oh, fuck!” I cover my face with my hand as the tears come. “I still don’t trust this. It was so easy to break me years ago, and I thought I was stronger now. But I’m not, I’m really not!”

Body leans in and kisses me softly. “Amanda, I know I can’t heal your heart, or regain your trust with words,” he says. “I’ve told you what’s in my soul and admitted how badly I fucked up, but I don’t expect that to convince you.” He strokes my cheek, staring at my face like I’m the most precious and beautiful thing in the whole world. “Time is all I ask from you. Give me time to keep making it up to you. I promise you, I will. I will never leave your side.”

“Even if we have to fight?” I whisper. “Even if we die?”

He grabs my shoulders and kisses me hard. “I will always be with you, now and for all time. You’re in my blood and in my soul. Look into me, Amanda. Look with all your powers and see me for who I really am.”

My heart hammers painfully in my chest as I realize what he wants me to do. Even though my head is still tender, I can’t resist this invitation, and I feel the walls of his mind cracking as he lets down his mental defenses and opens up to me.

I put one hand on his heart, closing my eyes. Immediately, I’m pulled into Body’s mind. Caught in a rush of memories, I ride the flood through his present and his past. Events of high emotion are the clearest, and I feel all his regret, all his pain, and all the love he’s had locked inside that he could never share.

His longing for me permeates his every thought, sings with every beat of his heart. Beyond all memory, all the aspects of humanity that create him as a person, I find the soul of his wolf, a savage and primal creature that binds the two sides of him together with supernatural strength and enduring will.

The wolf stands on an empty, icy plain in his mindscape, completely alone and howling in isolated torment.

He’s all alone.

I get closer to the stillness, desperate to comfort this lost, lonely part of him.

Then, the howl becomes a word—a name.

Mine.

Amanda…

“Body!” I cry, coming out of the trance and wrapping my arms around him. I pull him over on top of me and kiss him, harder and deeper than ever before.

He returns the kiss, his hands all over me as I cling to him and writhe, pressing my body against his as if I could fuse us into one being.

“I love you,” he whispers.

“I love you, too. And I promise I will never leave you again.”

A shudder runs through his body, and chills run across his skin. A low moan of need escapes his lips, and I grab his shoulders and pull him down, searching for his tongue with mine.

I run my hands down his back, feeling the warmth of his skin and the hardness of his muscles flexing under my fingers. I dig my nails into his lower back as I thrust my hips towards him, making him groan with need.

Body thrusts his own hips towards me, and I can feel his hard cock pressing against my throbbing, slick pussy. He teases me, rocking his hips towards me but not joining us together. I wriggle back and forth, trying to slip him inside.

He laughs softly, and I giggle back, enjoying the game. He teases me a bit more, then suddenly pins my arms by my sides and bends down to clamp his lips around my nipple.

I shudder under him, fighting his grip as my body bends against him. He groans as he moves to the other breast, licking slick trails across my breasts as he teases one nipple, then the other.

By the time he lifts himself up again to kiss me, I’m a mess of squirming, thoughtless lust. Arousal burns in me, running fiery trails across my skin as the deep throbbing between my legs pounds so hard, it threatens to obliterate all other sensation.

When his lips meet mine, his kiss is soft and gentle, caressing me delicately, barely touching. Slowly, he teases with his tongue until I find it with my own and draw him in deeper.

I thrust my hips towards him again, grabbing his lower back to keep him in place as I writhe against him. I feel the hot, hard length of him rub against my wet, throbbing pussy. With one hard shove of my hips, I slam him inside.

He stops, closing his eyes and shivering with need. I reach up and stroke his cheek, watching his big, beautiful brown eyes open and stare down at me with wonder.

His eyes are so dark, like the soil of the forest, but soft as velvet. The flecks of light are golden threads, treasures that can only be found by those who look deep.

“I love you,” he whispers.

“I love you, too,” I answer.

He closes his eyes again, and a shudder runs through him as he begins to thrust. I run my hands along his sides, linking them around his lower back and bracing myself so I can open my thighs further. Body groans with pleasure, thrusting even harder and faster as I encourage him deeper.

Waves of pleasure crash through me, exploding under my skin in cascades of goosebumps. I tighten my grip on him and throw back my head, gasping and screaming as the spasms start inside me. My deepest muscles squeeze tightly around his hard cock, and Body shudders and gasps as the orgasm roars through me, my entire body flexing against the thick length of him inside me.

While I gasp and tremble, Body starts to thrust again, his muscles tightening up all over as his thrusts become hard and fast. When I feel his cock getting thicker and harder, another orgasm crashes through me, leaving me breathless and loose, barely holding on to him as he continues to increase his power and his pace.

Body collapses against me, his arms wrapping tightly around me as his cock shudders and blows deep inside me. He gasps as his body trembles in my arms, shivering and sweating with the force of his release.

We cling to each other as he curls up by my side, all my doubts and fears finally washed away by the power of his love for me.

And I can no longer fight my love for him. I am committed to his happiness now, and I will protect him at any cost.

Even if the price is my own heart.