Forced Plus-Size Mate (Silver Meadows Wolves #6)

Chapter 23 - Amanda

I wait out the front for Nell, listening to the wind howling from the peaks. For the last few days, the voices I could hear in it have been fading. This doesn’t comfort me in the slightest.

My powers are failing.

I can’t believe it, but it’s true. I can’t do even the simplest things, like heat a cup in my hands or monitor my own body. My headache hasn’t left me since the battle, and it seems as if my powers have been waning since then, too.

I was so happy that night. Why couldn’t the universe just let me have it? I was so close to believing in love, and having everything I’ve ever wanted.

Maybe I just don’t deserve it.

A car pulls around the corner, and I hurry to the curb. Nell leans over to hug me as soon as I get in.

“It’s good to see you back to normal,” I say with relief.

“Normal is the word,” she answers. “I don’t know about you, but my powers have been wonky as hell the last day or so.”

“Still recovering from the fight?” I ask. “You definitely overextended yourself.”

Nell shakes her head as she steers the car away from the curb. “You know that’s not it.”

I sigh, looking out the window and seeing nothing but darkness. “Yes. I know. We came all the way here for a purpose, and now it looks like it was all for nothing.”

“We were supposed to be here for love,” Nell says. “Is everything okay with you and Body?”

“Good,” I answer. “Too good, and it sucks. How can I claim my happiness, when so many people have to get hurt for me to have it?”

“I’d never discourage you from following your heart,” Nell says. “But I fear you’re right.”

We drive to the bakery, where all the other witches are sitting at an indoor table. Entering the room feels like walking into an ancient tomb, or even a morgue.

The air is so heavy with loss and regret.

As I sit down, I look around the table at my sisters. It feels alien and wrong that I can’t feel their energy or sense their auras. From the anxious looks being exchanged around the table, the others feel exactly the same way.

“Has anyone got any power?” I ask, too defeated to say anything else.

Around the circle, all the girls except Lucy shake their heads.

“Since the night of the battle, I’ve been in a steady decline,” Georgia says. “I can’t even move a spoon in a cup, or light a candle without a match.”

“My powers are just fine,” Lucy says with a frown. “I don’t understand why this is happening to you.”

“I do,” I say, the words heavy in my heart. “We’ve been selfish, and the goddess is punishing us.”

“You don’t really believe that, do you?” Zoe snaps. “The goddess loves us. She wants us to be strong—”

“She doesn’t want us to pursue our own interests to the detriment of others!” I say, holding back my rage. “Joining with the wolves has caused a terrible rift between them. People have died. We can’t continue down this path, not when people are getting hurt.”

Tears spill down Zoe’s cheeks, and her lip trembles. “Grant had to go back to Silverton,” she blurts out. “I don’t know what happened to him, if Decker took him or if he went by choice. I have to see him again, I have to know—”

“No,” I cut in, knowing I’m being cruel but not caring. “If you want to keep him safe, the only thing to do is leave.”

“What?” Lucy gasps. “What are you saying?”

“We came to see if we could get our powers back,” Nell says. “And we did, but if the cost is blood and innocent lives, then it’s not worth it. We have to leave.”

“If what you say is true, then why are my powers still strong?” Lucy demands.

“Because the conflict started with us,” I say. “You were safe here, for almost a year. It wasn’t until we came to town that the wolves turned on each other. We are the deciding factor.”

A few witches around the table nod in agreement. I can see that they made up their minds before we even started the meeting, just like me and Nell. Most of the others seem undecided, though Zoe, Alisa, and Tara are absolutely distraught.

“I can’t leave,” Zoe sobs. “Not until I know if Grant is okay.”

“I won’t go, either,” Alisa says determinedly, her face stony with pent-up anger. “I don’t know yet if I truly have a mate, but I’ve been getting close to someone here, and I won’t abandon him.”

“Nor will I,” Tara agrees. “You can’t make us go.”

“How selfish can you be?” I shriek, losing it. I stand up and slam my hands down on the table, glaring at the others. “You say you love them? Then love them enough to save their pack—their lives. Do you think I want to go? I have missed Body every single day of my life. The last thing I want to do is leave him, but it’s the only way to keep him safe.”

Now Tara and Zoe are crying. Alisa looks stubborn and angry, but I know she’s wavering.

“And our powers?” Hildy asks. “That’s why we came back, after all. What happens to our powers if we don’t marry wolves?”

“They may never come back,” I reply miserably. I sit down slowly, running my fingers across the tabletop listlessly.

Not so long ago, I would have shattered the table to pieces with an outburst like this. Now I am cut off completely from the power I always assumed was my right, when it has always been a privilege I don’t deserve.

“What should we do?” Georgia asks. “Are we just going to sit here and argue, or do you have a plan?”

“Let’s go tomorrow, at first light,” I say. “I can’t drag out this torture any longer. I want a clean break. We can meet at the camping ground, load up the minibus, and go.”

“Go where?” Zoe asks. “Back to the canyon?”

“I think it would be too hard to make it work without magic,” I answer. “But for the moment, let’s just worry about getting out of here. We might go back to our camp up there, just until we figure out what to do next.”

“Should we even bother to stay together?” Tara asks. “We have no magic, no power. We aren’t even witches anymore. Certainly not a coven.”

Her words shake me to the core. Suddenly, I’m terrified, feeling like I’m hanging over a chasm, held by the thinnest of webs, about to plunge into an abyss of despair I will never escape from.

I have nothing... no power, no sisters, no love…

“We’ll decide that later,” Nell says. “For now, prepare to go to the canyon. We can rest for a while up there. And for all we know, once we enact this sacrifice, we might even get our powers back.”

I have no idea if Nell even believes that, but it definitely perks up the others. There’s a sense of hope around the table as we make plans to meet in the morning. Some of the girls even seem excited about the plan.

“What about me?” Lucy says, holding back tears. “Do you expect me to just go along with this and tell no one?”

“Yes,” I answer, hugging her. “Because you are my friend and my sister in the craft. And you know I’m doing the right thing.”

“I don’t believe that!” she cries. “I never will—but I will stay quiet about your plan, at least for now. I’m not promising anything, though. If I think anyone might be in danger, I will spill my guts like a snagged feed bag, you got me?”

“I got you,” I answer. “Thank you, Lucy.”

“Don’t thank me,” she says, shaking her head. “I haven’t exactly made a promise here.”

I squeeze her just a bit tighter before letting her go.

The meeting breaks up, and I feel better than I have in days. As Nell and I go out to the car, I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

“Will you say goodbye to him?” Nell asks me as we pull up outside the cabin.

I shake my head. “He’d never let me go. All the qualities I love and admire about him are the same things that make it impossible for me to be honest. Even if he knows in his heart that this is right, he’d never let me do it.”

“What if he just wanted to go with you?”

“Oh, he definitely would,” I mutter. “That’s the problem. He’d leave his pack, his young charges—everything. And I can’t be the cause of that.”

“Okay,” Nell says, leaning over to hug me. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Bright and early,” I agree, getting out and slamming the door. I watch Nell drive off, then go inside, trying to work up a smile.

I don’t want Body to suspect a thing. I wish I could still do a basic sleep spell to keep him under until I was gone.

When I come inside, he’s sitting on the couch, watching some sports. He immediately turns down the volume when I walk in and sits up.

“Hey!” he greets. “How did your meeting go with the girls?”

“Great,” I answer, smiling. “We had a good talk. Worked out a few things.”

“I’m glad. I just want you to do whatever you need to so you can get through this.”

I try not to react to his words, even though they sting.

It’s like he just gave me permission to leave.

“Want a beer?” he asks, holding up a six-pack.

“Sure,” I answer, taking one.

He passes over a bag of salted nuts, and I munch down a big handful. Body laughs when my stomach growls.

“Didn’t you pig out with the girls at the bakery?”

“Of course I did,” I lie, smiling. “We absolutely murdered ourselves with chocolate cake.”

“Sounds like you still need dinner.”

“No, the beer and nuts will fill me up. How was your meeting with Bae?”

I see a tense look flash across his face, followed by an easy smile. “Oh, fine,” he says. “Just a basic chat about pack stuff. Everything looks quiet, for now. No immediate danger on the horizon.”

He’s lying!

“So… Decker and the wild wolves aren’t coming in for another hit?”

“No, no way! We gave them a good beating, and they know we’re stronger. You don’t have to worry about that.”

I smile, trying to appear calm and trusting. I’m a bit pissed that he’s lying to me, but I can’t get too upset about it—I’m lying through my teeth, too.

“What are you up to tomorrow?” he asks, and even though it sounds casual, I know it’s not.

He’s keeping tabs on me.

“Oh, not much,” I say casually. “Might meet with a couple of the girls in the afternoon. Why?”

“Just stay near the house,” he says in a light tone. “Don’t go wandering too far out into the hills or anything like that.”

“Why?” I ask, unable to keep a hard note from creeping into my voice.

“It’s nothing,” he says, smiling. “Just don’t want you to get in the way of the patrols.”

“You said they weren’t going to attack?”

“No, they won’t. I’m sure of it. We still have wolves out in scout positions, though. It’s just better if you stay out of the way.”

“Okay, no problem,” I answer, leaning over to take his hand. “I’ll stay right here.”

His warm smile at that moment almost breaks me. I’m right on the verge of telling him everything, and demanding he tell me the truth as well.

“Everything is going to be okay,” he says. “The pack is strong. We’ll get through this, and everyone will be safe. I promise you.”

“Yes,” I murmur, putting my arms around him and snuggling against his side. “All of us will be safe.”

He wraps himself around me, and I put my cheek against his hard chest, listening to the throb of his heartbeat. I desperately want to make love to him one last time, but I know if I do, I won’t have the strength to leave.

And I have to. It’s the only way to protect him, even if he can’t see it.