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Prologue

Austin

Three Years Ago

Bright red hair haloed by the glow of the morning sun filled my gaze as I opened my eyes.

I hadn't intended for Jeremy to stay over last night, but after we'd spent so much time studying and then moved on to exploring each other's bodies, we were both exhausted.

It wasn't typical for him to stay over, either.

He'd leave fairly quickly and it would leave an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach, but it didn't change the fact that I really liked Jeremy Praytor.

"Morning," he said, voice groggy with sleep as one ocean blue eye opened to peek at me.

I smiled at him, hand slipping beneath the blankets to grab the warm meaty globe of his ass.

We both laughed as he rolled away from me and slid from under the blankets.

While it was nice to wake with him by my side, I knew what this was.

Jeremy had met me on a hookup app and we weren't supposed to be more than one night, yet here we were weeks later.

We were still meeting up and still fooling around.

Most of what we did was nothing more than a few random handies and blowjobs, but it still became a stable source of release.

"What are you doing?" I asked, even though I knew the answer.

Jeremy paused, shirt halfway over his head before he pulled it the rest of the way down to face me.

"I need to get going. Classes today and then I need to focus on studying tonight."

I smirked at his response. We had gotten together the night before with the intention of studying and absolutely none of that had happened. Maybe it wasn't too much for him to ask for a little bit of space. The last thing I wanted to do was impact his grades for a quick fuck.

"You could always come by here again," I said, patting the bed next to me.

That smile that seemed to make my heart do weird little somersaults lit up Jeremy's face as he continued to put on his clothes.

"You're really slick, you know that. It's not a bad thing. I admire it, actually."

I laughed. "So what seems to be the problem?"

Jeremy stopped again, dropping his shoes to the floor before he came and sat next to me on the bed.

He leaned down, giving me a quick peck on the lips.

My hand found its way to the back of his neck, keeping him in place and deepening the contact.

He sighed into the kiss and our tongues stroked together and we continued to sit there and make out.

When Jeremy pulled back, he chuckled, wiping at the saliva that coated his lips. "That's the problem. This is fun. When I say I need to focus, I really mean it."

There was something off about the statement. Jeremy turned away from me and he couldn't look me in the eye as he said it. There was a chance that I was just being paranoid about things, but he continued to fidget the longer we sat there with me watching him.

"I don't get it. Finals aren't for a while yet. I get wanting to be on top of things, but—"

Jeremy stood and cut me off, and pinched his eyes closed.

"My grades, you see, aren't so great. I've fallen behind on a few assignments and.

.." He swallowed thickly, fingers twitching at his sides as he continued to stare at the wall instead of looking at me while he spoke.

Something about the whole thing felt wrong.

He wasn't telling me the full truth, but if his grades were really suffering, I wasn't about to force someone onto academic probation just to get my dick wet.

"Yeah, no problem. Why don't we plan something in a few days. You can take the time to focus and get caught up. I don't want you to feel pressured or anything."

That finally got Jeremy to look at me. His smile was weak at best and his fingers had started playing with the edges of the pockets of his jeans. This time, he said nothing, only nodded as he shoved his feet into his shoes and started making his way to the door.

It all still didn't feel right and I needed to make sure everything was okay before he walked out the door. I was up and out of the bed before Jeremy's hand landed on the handle.

"Wait," I called, grabbing at his elbow.

He turned, eyes widening at my nudity. It was my room and we'd been all up in each other's business the night before so it wasn't that strange for him to see me like this.

Though, he always seemed a little guarded.

"I'm serious, Jeremy. I want to make plans.

" My heart thudded against my ribs because for whatever reason it felt like if he walked out that door, I wouldn't ever see him again.

It was stupid because things had been great outside of his weird behavior this morning.

That tight smile was back on his face, but he nodded in agreement. "Okay, we can make plans. How about we meet up in a week?"

A week? I could work with that. It wasn't like seven days was all that long and it wasn't like we were glued at the hip. We'd only been seeing each other for a few weeks and I didn't want to come across as overly clingy. Demanding to see him before then might send the wrong message.

I took a deep, shaky breath, and forced a smile I wasn't completely feeling. "Yeah. That sounds great."

As much as it pained me, I had to let Jeremy go.

I stood back as he opened the door and left my room.

No one in the hall needed to see my naked ass.

The door clicking closed felt so damn final and I itched to pick up my phone and call him.

If Jeremy needed space, I would be respectful and give it to him.

"You're sure you can't make it home this year?"

I didn't get an immediate answer as Leah talked to someone else in the background.

I loved my sister, but it had been harder to talk to her lately.

It was partially my fault for forcing the distance, but we needed to become our own people.

We'd spent so much of our lives doing everything together that it was nice to do something just for me for a change.

It didn't stop the feelings of loneliness from creeping in from time to time and maybe that was why I tended to get attached to people so quickly.

The last week had been hard. There were days when I wanted nothing more than to pick up my phone and text Jeremy and convince him that this whole waiting a week to see each other again was stupid, but I was making an honest effort.

Being on your own never hurt anyone and it was something I desperately needed to learn how to handle.

But, then my sister finally answered me.

"Sorry about that, Austin, but yeah. We just had this new guy move in the other day and I know it's not my responsibility to get him settled in, but he looked so lost... not to mention that I just... I don't know. It's a lot for just a few days."

I stopped moving. This was the first year we'd been apart since leaving for college and my sister wasn't even going to make the attempt to come home? "What do you mean? Mom and Dad will miss you. Hell, I'll miss you."

Leah sighed. "I know. It's not that I don't want to be there. There's just a lot going on and looking at the weather forecast... I'm not sure things will be that great. If you think we get snow back home..."

And I knew that. Growing up in Chicago meant we always got the white Christmas. Snow was a guarantee and I was pushing my luck with getting stuck and not making it back in time for my classes, it didn't mean that I wouldn't still try.

I was about to start talking again when Leah cut me off. "Listen, Austin. I love you. You know that. I have some friends coming over and I need to finish getting ready. We'll talk more later, okay?"

That was my sister, always the social butterfly. It sucked not being the center of her world anymore, but this was good. I was good.

As soon as the call disconnected a strange sort of morose washed over me. I'd been feeling that way all week since Jeremy had walked out my door.

But that was when it hit me. He'd said we'd meet in a week and we'd never talked about how that would happen.

Would he show up at my place or did I go to his?

What if he wanted to meet up at the diner we first met at?

Here I was wandering around campus when I should have been back at my dorm room waiting in case he showed up.

Was it a little pathetic? Maybe. Okay, so it was, but I was getting desperate. I turned back toward the dorms and practically sprinted back to my room. By the time I reached it, I was huffing and puffing, struggling to pull in a proper breath.

It was a stupid thought that I'd run all the way there and Jeremy would be standing at my door and waiting. He wasn't. It was a recipe for let down.

When there was no one standing at my door, I unlocked it with my sweaty hands.

The second the door closed behind me, I pressed my back against the unforgiving wood. No matter what, it wouldn't open up and swallow me whole. It's all I wanted it to do because I couldn't help the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that I'd somehow been played.

It had been one week. I'd been really good about not reaching out to Jeremy and it was time that I finally gave in and tried to call him.

My hands shook so freaking badly as I scrolled through my contacts until I found his name. Texting seemed too impersonal. I wanted instant gratification. To hear his voice and know that all of this was in my head. I was making a mountain out of a mole hill.

The phone vibrated against my ear as I continued to shake when I lifted it to my ear.

The call connected right away, but the hope was just as quickly squashed the second the message began to play.

"We're sorry; you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this recording in error, please check the number and try your call again."

I couldn't breathe. My lungs seized and I couldn't pull in a full breath but it didn't stop my shaking fingers from trying again.

"We're sorry; you have reached—"

I didn't even let the message play all the way through a second time.

What the hell was that? Where the fuck was Jeremy and why was his number disconnected?