CHAPTER 5
ADDY
“Eli?” I cried again for the fifth time. He’d fallen asleep about thirty minutes before and I’d let him be because he looked exhausted. He’d told me the bleeding had stopped, so I’d thought it best to allow him to rest. Now he wouldn’t wake up and I was freaking out all over again. “Eli, please just wake up!” I cried as I pulled in the lot of a tiny service station. I’d turned off of the highway a few minutes before, and I had actually shed tears when I saw the first sign of civilization ahead. That’s when I’d started trying to wake Eli. Now I was parking up outside the tiny, run down diner and Eli was still non-responsive.
I slammed on the handbrake then leapt from the car, running to the other side, and throwing open the passenger door. I shook Eli, but when he didn’t move I searched his neck for his pulse, tears flooding down my face the whole time. I could see he had lied to me about the bleeding having stopped. The leggings I had wrapped around his arm were sodden with his blood and I knew he’d lost way too much.
Finally I found his pulse, but it felt slow. Too slow. A sob slipped from me as I realized I should never have allowed him to sleep. He clearly hadn’t fallen asleep, he’d passed out and now he wouldn’t wake up.
I ran from the car, leaving the door wide open and ran into the diner. There were a few guys who looked like the drivers of the huge trucks in the lot, sat at the counter, but otherwise it was empty.
“I need a phone. My brother….he needs help!” I cried, the words shaky and broken as I fought to get them out.
“Here sweetie,” A waitress dressed in a red and white uniform appeared and slammed an old fashioned phone up on the counter. “Call 9-1-1. Nearest hospital’s about twenty minutes away,” she added when I ran to the counter and started dialing, the blood on my fingers making them slip as I pressed the numbered buttons frantically.
As soon as the 9-1-1 operator assured me an ambulance was on the way I slammed the phone down and ran back to Eli where he remained in the car. I untied the leggings I’d wrapped around the wound and pulled them free, crying harder when blood continued to pour from the wound.
“He’s been shot?” The deep voice startled me and when I looked up, one of the truckers who’d been sat at the counter was behind me. “We need to slow that bleeding down. Let me take him inside.”
“Yes…okay. Please,” I uttered feeling lost and terrified. The man, an older guy dressed in jeans, a checkered fleece jacket and a knitted hat stepped forward and scooped Eli up. Luckily, the guy was big enough to take Eli’s weight.
I ran ahead and opened the door, then followed them to the table the trucker set Eli down on, grabbing the back of Eli’s head so it wouldn’t thud on the table.
“I need something to stop this bleeding. A first aid kit would be good too,” The trucker rumbled in a deep voice. The waitress came running around the counter with a stack of white napkins and a green box which I assumed was the first aid kit.
“Are you hurt, sweetie. That blood yours?” The waitress asked as she nodded down to my dress. I looked down and realized for the first time I had Eli’s blood all the way down the front of my dress, likely from trying to tie my leggings around it earlier.
“No,” I shook my head, keeping my hands under Eli’s head to cradle it. “I…I’m okay…thank you.”
When I looked back to Eli the trucker had some squares of gauze, which he must have gotten from the first aid kit, pressed tight against Eli’s arm. I was relieved to see the blood was flowing slower through them.
“Thank you. I…I tried to slow the bleeding b-but it wasn’t enough. I thought he was j-just sleeping. I thought he’d be okay,” I rambled as tears flooded down my cheeks.
“Help’s on the way now and until they get here I’m not letting go. You sure you’re not hurt?”
“I’m sure.”
“Someone chasing you?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” I replied as I turned to nervously look out of the window behind me. “We…we were taken. We managed to escape but they sh-shot at us. They shot Eli.”
“Just try to take a breath, girl. You’re safe for now and I’m sure the police will be on their way too at the mention of a gunshot,” he assured me.
“I should call Asher,” I whispered as the thought ran through my head. I didn’t want to be anywhere near police again and I had no idea who I could trust at that point. I couldn’t even think calmly enough to get my thoughts in a line. I was a mess, in pain, and terrified not just that I was going to lose Eli, but also that we’d be caught again.
“Here. Use this if you need to call someone,” The trucker said as he pulled a cell phone from the back pocket of his jeans and handed it to me.
“Thanks,” I whispered as I took the cell he’d unlocked for me.
I knew Asher and Eli’s cell numbers by heart, having learned them when I first arrived at their place, terrified I’d be separated from them somehow at any time, so it was easy to type in Asher’s number and relief flooded me when it started to ring.
Asher answered on the third ring with a barked ‘hello.’ Wherever he was it was loud and I could barely hear him, but I heard enough to have me slumping with relief. The waitress, who was hovering close to me, grabbed my arm and pushed a chair beneath me before I went down completely. I still held one hand under Eli’s head and I laid my own beside his against the table as I spoke.
“Asher,” I whimpered.
“Addy? Fuck, hold on, sweetheart.”
I could hear Asher’s breath as he seemed to rush somewhere, then the background noise quieted down and he was talking to me.
“Addy, can you hear me? Where are you? Is Eli with you?” he asked all at once.
“We got away, but Eli…h-he was shot Asher. He’s lost so much blood and….and he w-won’t wake up now. I let him sleep. I shouldn’t have let him sleep,” I whimpered.
“Addy, tell me where you are?”
“I called 9-1-1 and they’re on the way, but I…I don’t want the police to….” I faltered as I turned my head to look at Eli. He was too still and pale. “Adam.”
“Addy, Adam’s okay. He had surgery and he’s stable right now. Jordan’s with him at the hospital.”
I couldn’t even speak as a deep sob tore from me and I just slumped even harder against the table, pressing my forehead to the cool plastic surface. Adam was alive. Just to know that was like a huge weight that had been trying so hard to crush me into the ground, was being lifted from me.
“Addy? I need to know where you are, little dot. I need you to speak to me. Are you safe?” Asher demanded so loudly I could hear it from where I had dropped the cell on the table. I knew I needed to gather myself and talk to him, but I just didn’t have anything left in me. Instead I moved my head until it touched Eli’s and just cried. I was exhausted, in pain, and my anxiety was pushing through the paper thin wall I had been using to hold it back, ever since the moment I had seen Eli bleeding out in our living room.
“Hey. She’s okay, just exhausted and upset. Looks like she’s taken a beating too,” I heard the truck driver speaking and knew he’d picked up the cell. He went on to explain to Ash that Eli had lost a lot of blood and blacked out, and that police and EMT’s were on the way. The voice continued but I blocked it out as I closed my eyes and tried hard to just not think. Just a few minutes , I told myself. Just a few minutes to block it all out, then I’ll be fine.
***
I sat beside Eli’s bed feeling numb. When we’d arrived at the nearest hospital, Eli had been rushed away from me and I’d been left waiting in a tiny room. It had contained a few chairs and was painted with these annoyingly ugly murals of bright summer scenes. They hurt my pounding head and only proved to piss me off even more.
The doctor had arrived and told me the bullet had nicked one of Eli’s arteries, which was why the bleeding wouldn’t stop. He’d been taken into surgery, while I’d tried hard to close my eyes against the painfully sunny images, just waiting for more news.
When we’d left the diner, the trucker who had helped us, had assured me Asher was on his way and would meet us at the hospital. Police had been there too, and I knew they’d followed us to the hospital, but so far they hadn’t tried to speak with me.
Now, hours later Eli was out of surgery and the doctors and nurses had all assured me he would be fine, and would wake up when the pain meds that he’d been given, wore off. They’d offered to check me over too, but I was not in a good place to have strangers touching me and I knew it. If I were honest with myself, I had no idea how I was still clinging to the tiny threads that were holding me together and staving off the impending meltdown I knew was bubbling.
I’d washed my hands and face, not even realizing until I went to pee, how much blood I had been covered in. Eli’s blood.
It hadn’t helped much, since I still wore the too short dress I would only ever dare to wear with leggings if I had a choice, the cream wool now covered in blood. I was also still in Eli’s too large sneakers and my hair was a wild mess around my pale face. I was a mess, inside and outside, but Adam was alive and Eli was going to be okay. Those were the things I tried to focus on. Those were the thoughts getting me through. Those, and the fact I knew Asher would come as soon as he could, and hopefully with Kane too.
I lowered my head as I wrapped my arms around myself. I was still shaking so hard I worried it may never stop this time, and I was freezing cold. I knew I should try to rest, but there was no way I was giving an opening to my nightmares after what we had been through.
“Addy?” My head snapped up at the croaky voice and I smiled shakily as I saw Eli looking to me with worry. “Shit! Where are we?” He tried to move to a sitting position and hissed in pain when he put weight on his now bandaged arm.
“Stop moving. You got shot, remember?” I said, even my voice giving up on me at that point and coming out as a rough rasp. I tried to clear my throat, but even that hurt. “We’re at the hospital and there’s cops outside. We’re safe.”
“What happened?” he asked as he sat up, this time only moving his good arm to do so.
“You lied to me about the bleeding stopping, and I almost let you die as a result,” I snapped.
“I’m sorry shortcake, but there was nothing you could do, and I knew it. We were in the middle of who knows where. You’d only have panicked more if you knew I was still bleeding.”
“Yeah, well ‘panicked’ wasn’t exactly the word when I did find a service station and you wouldn’t damn-well wake up. I thought you were dead!” I cried.
“Hey. It’s okay.” Eli grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly in his. “I’m here. We’re both safe. Did you manage to call Ash?”
“Yeah. He’s coming here, but I don’t know when. I kind of lost it when I heard his voice,” I admitted.
“You’re exhausted. Have you been checked over?”
“I’m okay.”
“Addy. You need to at least have someone look at your head.”
“I can’t, Eli. Please….just don’t. I c-can’t stand anyone touching me…not now,” I whimpered as I fought hard not to cry again.
“Okay, sweetie. Just try to calm down. We’ll wait until Ash arrives, okay?” I managed a weak nod in reply. “Adam?” he asked, changing the subject.
“He’s alive. He had to have surgery but Asher said he’s stable.”
“See? I told you he was strong. He’ll be alright,” Eli assured me.
“He has to be,” I whispered. There was nothing I wanted more in that moment than to be surrounded by all three of my guys. I wanted their arms around me and I wanted to hear their promises that I was safe. I needed that so much.
“Have the police spoken to you?” Eli asked.
“They tried but I…I’m not good right now. They agreed to wait so we could talk to them together,” I explained.
“Come sit up here with me now,” Eli told me as he scooted across the bed away from me with a slight grimace, then patted the space at his side.
“I shouldn’t. The nurses won’t like it,” I argued.
“I don’t care what they think. I care that you feel safe. Come up here and let me hold you. We’ve both had a tough couple of days, and I need this as much as you do.”
I nodded tearfully as I sipped my feet from the too big sneakers, then moved carefully to slide onto the tiny hospital bed beside him. My back was stiff and painful with every move, and my head spun when I stood, but it was all worth it when I found myself pressed into Eli’s side, his arm wrapped around me and holding me tight.
“I just want to go home,” I whispered tearfully as I clung to him tightly.
“Me too. It won’t be long. Asher will take us home when he gets here, okay?”
“Okay,” I agreed with a single nod. “Am I hurting you?” I worried as I looked up at him again. His injured arm was at the opposite side to where I sat, but still.
“No. Stop worrying. We’re both okay now. I want you to try and rest for me, okay?”
“I can’t. I’m too scared to close my eyes right now,” I confessed. I held out my hands and saw how badly they shook. I felt like my entire body was shaking too. Only Eli’s heat and strength surrounding me was making me feel slightly less raw and exposed.
“Then at least rest against me and try to clear your head. Asher will be here soon and he’ll take care of everything. Until then I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”
I lay my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes, but instantly an image of Max, standing over me came into my head. I heard his threat again.
‘I have to admit, a huge part of me wants to have a piece of the joy I saw on your father’s face when he was taking you that night.’
I gasped in panic and opened my eyes again, not wanting to see that cold, menacing look on the face of a man I had believed I could trust. I was such an idiot! How could I fail to spot what a monster he was after all that I had been through?
“Sshh. You’re okay, Addy. We’re safe now,” Eli reassured me gently as he pulled me back into his side and ran his hand over my wild hair.
‘We’re going to have some time together, Addy. You’ll do exactly as I tell you to in that time, or I’ll have Bull beat your precious brother to death.’
I didn’t even close my eyes this time as Max’s voice echoed through my head deafeningly. I pressed my face into Eli’s side as I slammed my hands over my ears. I couldn’t hear it anymore. I couldn’t stand to think about Max, or any of what had happened. I was just done. All I wanted was to be home with my brothers and my guys. I wanted to feel safe and secure, just as I had only two days before.
Any strength or courage I had been feigning since the moment I woke on that jet, was now long gone and I just felt empty, and broken. I knew I should be stronger for Eli. I had been so determined to protect him, but in the end he had saved me. Now he was hurt, recovering from surgery and I was of no use to him. I was just a burden, as I had been since the day he met me. Knowing that though, did not mean I could do anything to change it. I simply didn’t have the strength or will to do anything but hide against Eli and allow my anxiety to pull me deep down into that darkness once again.