27. SYDNEY
27
SYDNEY
I straighten the tassel on my graduate cap again. I’ve only fixed it ten times since I’ve been waiting in the crowded tunnel.
Is this what it’s like for Nash before every home game? The nerves, the adrenaline? We’ve been waiting in the underground tunnels of the football stadium for at least twenty minutes.
I’m ready to walk onto the field and take my seat. It’s already been an emotional day. From the moment I woke up this morning I’ve had a slideshow of memories playing through my mind.
From moving in freshman year, meeting Lauren for the first time, our first frat party, late night study sessions, sleepovers with the girls, and everything in between that got me to this moment.
“Please welcome Newhouse University’s graduating class,” the dean of students says into the microphone. The students around me straighten their spines and prepare to walk.
Koa glances at me over his shoulder and winks. He’s about twenty people in front of me. I smile back and hide my nerves .
The marching band begins to play the Newhouse U fight song. I have to swallow back the tears. This song isn’t just for the football team on game day. It’s our motto here at Newhouse: to fight until the end. To show up until the job is done. To give it your all until you have nothing left.
Walking out onto the turf, the sun and heat is almost too much to bear after being in the dark tunnels for so long. I search the stands for my family. They texted me earlier with their location. I spot them easily sitting next to Koa’s mom and dad, and do a little finger wave in their direction.
My mom is already crying into a tissue and my dad is clapping with his chest puffed. They’ve always believed in me. When I told them my major they were skeptical, or maybe they were realistic. They knew it wasn’t going to be an easy road. But I did it.
We file through the white chairs setup on the field until we find our assigned seat. Koa squeezes my hand when I pass by him.
I find Lauren, Hart, and Wren a few rows ahead of me and Wyatt behind me. I spot Charlie where she is sitting on stage and blow her a kiss. Hiring all of those cute tutors paid off because she’s our valedictorian.
The dean of students as well as a few other faculty members, and prestigious alumni address our graduating class offering congratulations and words of wisdom for our future. I tune them out and let my mind drift to what's next for me.
Koa and I are loading up the moving truck in a few days. It’s bittersweet to leave behind all the places that got us here. I’m going to miss summers reading under the willow trees on Grove Street.
I’m going to miss Sunday afternoons spent listening to my brother and his friends arguing over dropped passes and missed calls by the referees while watching football games at the townhouse.
I'll miss living with Lauren and being able to run down to the hall to her room when I need her. I think that is going to be the hardest one.
It’s strange how you can be so excited about what’s next and still grieve everything you’re leaving behind.
The dean introduces Charlie and there is a mix of wolf whistles and clapping from everyone.
“Good afternoon family, friends, faculty, staff, honored guests, and my fellow graduates. Today we are celebrating four years of hard work. After all the hours of studying and cramming information into our brains, we made it to the end. We have achieved the goal. Mission accomplished.”
Charlie’s eyes roam over all of us, stopping to smile at me, Wren, and Lauren. “A degree is not the only thing I will be leaving here with. Like some of you,” her eyes land on Lauren for a moment, “I came to Newhouse looking for a fresh start.
“I came to school prepared to make friends and have a good time. Instead, I’m leaving with a lifetime of memories and a family. Newhouse University is one of the best schools in the country because of you.
“Each and every one of us have our own unique set of skills and qualities. All of which we have been able to show off in our safe space at Newhouse among people that we love,” she says. I tilt my head back and try to stave off tears.
“As we close this chapter and move on to the next, I have one thing I want to ask you to do. The world will try to dim the light you have found here. It will try to hold you back. I ask that instead of dimming your light to blend in with others, you choose to stand tall and teach others how to shine as bright as you do.
“I will be leaving here today with an immense amount of gratitude and hope in my heart. Congratulations to each and everyone of you! On to our next adventure!”
I stand, along with all of my friends, and clap for Charlie. I’m so proud of her. I don’t know much about her home life. She never talked about her family much. I can't help but wonder if she is hiding something behind her flirty and fun personality.
The department heads line the stage and begin calling our names. Row by row my classmates walk across the stage and receive their diploma.
Once Wren walks down the steps she looks somewhere behind me with a big smile on her face. No doubt she is looking at Wyatt. She directs the guy behind her to start a new row, making me laugh.
Hart and Lauren join her in our newly saved seats. I wait patiently for my turn and scream as loud as I can when my man walks the stage and shakes hands with all of his professors.
He smiles back at me as he walks to his seat. I’ll never get tired of seeing that smile. It’s been gone for so long. If only I had known, that I held the power to bring it back.
I have to believe in the timing of everything. Our break let us grow and mature. It gave us space to miss and appreciate each other. Koa has always been a big part of everything I do even when I couldn't see it for myself.
Standing from my seat, I follow my line to the stage. I glance over at my family again and down to my friends. “Sydney Pierce,” the dean announces my name as I pass by, grabbing my diploma.
As I walk down the steps, Koa is there waiting for me.
“Congratulations, baby. I’m so fucking proud of you,” he says, giving me a quick kiss.
“I’m proud of you too. I love you.”
“I love you too.” He kisses my cheek.
I hug Lauren and Wren when I get to our seats. “We did it,” I whisper-shout, bouncing on my feet.
Wyatt is the last of our friends to walk the stage. He stops in front of Charlie and offers her an elbow. She gladly accepts and they join our group.
We shuffle around so Wyatt can stand with Wren. I sling my arms around Charlie. “Your speech was perfect. I’m glad you’re a part of my family.”
“Thanks, Syd. I wouldn’t have made it through this past year without you. I’m going to miss you.”
“I’m going to miss you too,” I say, giving her one last squeeze.
The last few rows of students file across the stage and the dean of students takes to the podium again.
“If I can ask everyone to please stand,” he says. The stadium erupts in loud cheering. It echoes through my chest causing my eyes to well with emotion. Koa smiles softly and kisses my cheek.
“Graduates, you can now turn your tassels.” Another outburst of screams erupts as we move our tassels to the other side of our cap.
“It’s been an honor to have each of you here with us at Newhouse the past four years. Congratulations to this year’s graduating class of Newhouse University.”
I take my cap off my head and fling it into the air with a squeal. Koa grabs me by the waist and lifts me into the air.
“Are you ready, baby?” he asks.
“For what?”
“Whatever you want.” He slides his hand around the back of my head and pulls me in for a kiss.
“I think we should keep up with our tradition,” I reply.
“What’s that?”
“Let’s celebrate the same way we did our last graduation night except this time I’m keeping you in my arms forever and never letting go.”