Chapter 4
Chapter Four
ETHAN
P ivoting to being the single parent takes more time than I’d hoped to lose this morning. By the time I have Camden and his three favorite cars packed into the backseat of the truck, the sun has already crested the horizon. And my bad mood has soured and petrified into something dark and oozing. Emily’s teal Jeep sitting in front of our parents’ place adds the fucking cherry on top that I absolutely do not need.
It’s such a happy color to be the omen of everything going wrong. Because, without fail, if Emily is at our parents’ place before me on a work day, something is guaranteed to go wrong. And while Saturdays aren’t typical work days for me, I have no hope that it will fare any differently from typical. Facing several long hours in the saddle moving cattle, it’s enough to have me cursing.
Camden perks up in the backseat, looking up from his cars.
“Is Aunt Emily watching me?” he asks. “But you said Nana.”
I frown. “I’m not sure, kid. Grandma said she was going to watch you. Maybe they’re working on a project together.”
It would at least mean that she wasn’t here at the literal sunrise to bother me .
Camden doesn’t say anything, and I focus on getting the truck parked beside the Jeep and getting him unbuckled. He holds my hand as he climbs down. His blond hair just passes his ears, needing another trim. His cheeks are starting to thin out, the last of the baby fat fading with every passing day.
God damn he looks like Brandon. He has Kayla’s bright blue eyes. But everything else? You could misconstrue him in pictures for his father.
The moment his feet touch the ground, he’s bolting up the porch steps. His happy shriek as he gets to the front door alerts everyone in the sprawling farmhouse that we’re here.
Mom and Dad’s house sits on the western portion of the ranch, nestled against the rolling hills that gatekeep the larger peaks to the north. In the same clearing, scattered far enough apart to not feel overly crowded, stand two barns, a large detached garage, and an independent workshop that doubles as an office if I really want one. Our bookkeeper and administrative help maintain offices in town, though there’d be room here if they wanted it. The buildings combine together into bookends to the sprawling farmhouse.
It’s a large enough meadow that it’s easier to drive to any of the buildings than actually walk. Sometimes I still opt to walk, though, needing the time to clear my head. Especially if I’m prepping to be in the saddle all day.
I’d thought this discontent would have gotten better over the last year. Instead, it seems to grow with every week that Cam gets older. And knowing that Caleb is happily fucking strangers again just adds a stab under my ribs that makes me want to punch something. I heave a sigh and look toward the barns.
Beau waves at me once before disappearing into the barn nearest the workshop, already working to saddle up Megara where he keeps her stabled with the other ranch hands’ horses—a perk of employment here if they want to utilize it. The other one, the one that’s closest to the farmhouse, is for our own private horses. Nearly all of us have at least one personal horse, though Caleb and I have several each. Even Melissa keeps her horses here rather than the semi-public barns that house the recreation ranch’s trail horses.
The door opens, and Mom steps onto the porch, snapping me out of my thoughts. She’s swapped her typical gray robe for a set of black sweats and a pale blue cardigan, but her hair is still in rollers. Her morning coffee is held carefully in one hand, and she holds it away from her body to keep it from spilling on Camden as he slams into her.
“Good morning,” she says, hugging him.
“Morning!” he says and then rushes by her, slipping into the house. No doubt he’s on his way to the toys we keep here, needing to find the perfect companion options for his cars today.
I grab his bag from the passenger seat. Mom meets me at the top of the porch stairs. She hugs me, her slight arms wrapping around my waist.
“Thanks for the help,” I tell her as I pull away.
She waves a hand. “Always happy to watch Cam, you know that. Beau’s already been by to grab a thermos of coffee. He mentioned you guys will be out for a few hours at least.”
I nod and cross the porch, following my son inside. I toe off my shoes, not missing Mom’s eagle-eyed glare from where she stands just behind me, holding open the screen door.
“They’re all the way out on the Forest Service land. It’ll take a while to get them in. Hoping to be done in time for lunch.”
Camden looks up from where he’s building a ramp out of blocks for his cars, using the armrest of the couch as a starting point.
“Water flowers, Nana?” he asks as Mom closes the door and moves around me, heading toward the kitchen.
Mom and Dad’s house is the definition of sprawling. The main area is large and open, the living room on the left with the dining room on the right and the kitchen in the far back, anchoring the space. A hallway exits both sides of the kitchen. The one to the left leads to the main bedroom as well as an office and bonus space they’ve recently converted to a home library. The other leads to where my sister and I slept as well as an extra couple bedrooms that our friends would use when we were teens. It’s all done in the light whites and beiges and tans of modern farmhouses.
I head straight for the coffee pot that’s still half-full, grabbing one of Mom’s travel mugs and filling it to the brim, not bothering with creamer or milk.
As I pour the coffee, she says, “You ready to water the flowers, Cam?”
“Can we watch the bees?” he asks.
She laughs. “Yes, we can watch the bees, too. Let’s get out there before it gets too much hotter.”
The bees were three hives that sat nestled in Mom’s large cut flower garden. They started as a single hive as an extra credit project of Emily’s in highschool. But when she went to college, Mom took it over. And then promptly added two more hives when she discovered how much she enjoyed the hobby, too. Now her honey sells in a small Artisan market in downtown Jackson—and she can never manage to keep it in stock.
Mom and Cam leave out the front, Cam running over for another hug.
I lean over him and kiss the crown of his head.
“Love you,” he says into my legs.
“Love you, too, kid,” I say. “Have a good time with Nana, all right?”
He looks up at me, his grin so wide it lights up his entire face. It’s another small thing of Kayla’s that he has, too. A hard, twisting stab of grief steals my breath. Nearly four goddamn years without her. Without my bonded Omega. Would we have more kids now? Or would she have decided Camden was enough on his own? Would Caleb still be working fires? Or would he have decided to opt for a business that kept him closer for more of the summer?
The questions come too fast, drowning me between one heartbeat and the next. I force a swallow, wetting my dry mouth.
“I think the bees are already awake,” Mom says. Camden drops his arms from around my legs. I kiss his head one more time, and then he sprints out the front door, letting the screen door slam behind him.
Mom focuses on me. “You be safe out there.”
I nod. “I always am, Mom.”
She purses her lips, and I can practically hear her thoughts across the room. Brandon had promised to be safe, too. That didn’t stop the bull from goring him, though. Today, though, she decides to leave it alone. She closes the front door behind her, the clicking of the doorknob quiet.
Not that it would matter because Emily walks out from the right hallway, her hair pulled back and tucked under a University of Wyoming ball cap. She has a pair of her old riding boots, the toes worn and the tread practically nonexistent, tucked under her arm.
I cock an eyebrow as she focuses on me, her lips pursing in a dead-ringer for our mother.
“What do you need?” I ask. Does she want to move cattle today? I figured she’d be hanging out with Melissa and her friend. Didn’t she just move in yesterday?
“You all right if I saddle up Phoebe today?” she asks. Straight to the point, that’s Emily. It’s something we both inherited from our father. “I know you always take Cottonwood out when you’re moving cattle, so I thought I’d get her out for a bit today.”
I frown. Emily never rides Phoebe. She’s too… tame for my sister. She prefers the easy pastures and simple trails rather than the hard rides through the forest that Emily loves most. And she’s absolutely shit with the cattle unless they’re in an arena. She’d been Brandon’s roping horse, and she’d won him enough money to get him through college in Laramie when he had no other way to make ends meet.
Emily arches one eyebrow when I don’t offer an immediate answer.
“You have a sudden desire to learn roping?” I ask.
She smirks. “Not that kind, no.”
I groan and tilt my head back. “Too much, Emily. Too fucking much.” She cackles, and I sigh. “Fine. I have no problem with it. She could use the work, to be honest. I’m sure she’ll be easy for you.”
She smiles. “Thanks!”
And then she’s disappearing out the front door, too, her hair swinging with her bounding steps. I push off the counter and follow her, heading toward the barns. Beau already has Casper saddled beside him.
“Let’s get this over with,” I mutter.
He laughs. “Happy Saturday to you, too, Ethan.”