Free

Chapter 23

TWENTY-THREE

Charlie

I leave Nick’s house and drive aimlessly, gripping the steering wheel so tightly my knuckles ache. The sun dips lower, casting shadows across the quiet streets. I’m not ready to go back to Angela and Garrett’s yet. Not with this mess of emotions simmering inside me.

My mind ricochets from moment to moment: the way Nick kissed me, the feel of his hand cradling my cheek, the warmth of his voice when he asked me to stay. The strange sense of belonging I felt sitting on his porch, watching the waves crash while Sunshine sprawled at our feet like we’d always been a trio.

I can’t stop replaying the kiss. The way it felt like stepping into something bigger than myself. Magnificent. Terrifying. Real.

What the hell am I doing?

My heart and mind are at war—one pushing me toward Nick, the other screaming to stay away. It doesn’t help that everything else in my life feels like it’s in free fall. I don’t even know where I’m going to live next month, and here I am, practically floating out of his house like a lovesick teenager.

The man has barely spoken to me for a year. He ghosts me, shows up unannounced in yoga class, kisses me like I’m the only thing that matters, then falls back on those cryptic, half-finished explanations for why he pushed me away.

And I let him.

I should have pressed him for more. I deserve so much more than, “So I gave you a way out.”

What does that even mean?

I shake my head, my vision blurring as I switch lanes. That’s not like me—letting a man, anyone, off the hook so easily. I don’t sit quietly and smile politely unless I’m feeling quiet and polite. And sitting there with Nick, I felt anything but.

Maybe Garrett was right. Maybe Nick is too broken. And maybe I’m not as put together as I want to believe.

God, what am I doing? What do I even expect to happen here?

I catch my reflection in the rearview mirror, cheeks flushed, lips still tingling from the kiss. Despite the doubt clinging to me, my heart thuds with exhilaration. A part of me—a dangerous part—feels alive in a way I haven’t in years.

I drive and I drive and I drive, holding the day close and examining it from every angle until I finally find my way back home. The house is quiet, the porch light casting a soft glow on the steps as I climb them. But instead of feeling the peace I so desperately need, I only feel more confused.

The next morning, I wake before sunrise.

I’m not a morning person—never have been—but here I am, wide awake at five, staring at the ceiling like it holds answers. I will myself back to sleep, but my thoughts won’t let me go. They’re spinning, unraveling.

Nick.

That kiss.

The way I practically threw myself into his orbit yesterday.

I punch my pillow, flip onto my stomach, try deep breathing, but eventually I give up, tossing back the covers with a growl. I might as well do something productive with all this restlessness.

I creep downstairs, careful not to wake Elise or her sleep-deprived parents, only to find Angela already in the kitchen. She’s leaning against the counter, her cats twining around her legs while Elise snoozes sleepily on her hip. She’s staring at the coffee machine like it holds the meaning of life.

“You’re up early,” Angela says, giving me a bleary-eyed glance as I step inside.

“Pot, kettle,” I reply, grabbing a mug from the cabinet.

“Elise had a rough night,” she says, letting out a sigh. “And so did I. And so did Fluff. And Orange. And Garrett. I really hope she’s not why you’re up, too.”

I shake my head, filling my mug. “Nope. Just me, my overactive brain, and an unnecessarily complicated day yesterday.”

Angela raises an eyebrow, her curiosity instantly piqued. “Feel like talking about it?”

I hesitate, then shrug. “Why not?”

Leaning against the counter, I spill everything—the night on the pier with Nick, the hospital visit where he shut me out, falling for Davis, and how Nick has barreled back into my life like some impossible force of nature. I tell her about yoga, the kiss, and the cryptic explanations that followed.

Angela listens intently, her gaze sharp even in her exhaustion. When I finish, she shifts Elise on her hip and leans forward. “You kissed? Okay, that’s a pretty big development. Are we excited about this?”

“It was…” I trail off, searching for the words. “It was everything. Electric. Overwhelming. Like nothing I’ve ever felt before.”

She nods, encouraging.

“But then it got messy,” I continue, my voice dipping. “He asked me why I ended up with Davis, and when I asked why he pushed me away after the hospital, all he could say was, ‘I should have let you be there for me.’”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

Angela frowns, absently patting Elise’s back. “He has so many walls up.”

“He does. And maybe I should too, after everything I’ve been through. But I don’t. I can’t.” I let out a shaky breath, the enormity of it all pressing down on me. “I don’t even know where I’m going to live next month. I can’t stay here forever.”

“Yes, you can,” Angela says firmly, gripping my arm. Her eyes meet mine, full of warmth and kindness and optimism. “You’ll always have a place here, Charlie. You’re family. Don’t forget that.”

Her compassion, her certainty, makes my throat tighten.

“I just feel so lost,” I admit, running a hand through my hair. “Everything is up in the air, and all I have are questions. No answers. I feel like I’ve ruined my life somehow.”

Angela shifts Elise again, her expression thoughtful. “You know, there was a time—before I met your brother—when I thought the same thing. I thought I’d ruined everything, not just for me but for my dad, my uncle, my grandmother. I thought all those mistakes were going to bury me. Us. The whole damn family.” She chuckles softly, her tone lightening. “Turns out, those mistakes were rocket fuel. They shoved me onto the right path. And now? My family is thriving. Garrett and I are taking over the business. I love my husband, my child, my cats. Everything’s better than I ever dreamed, but it all started with what felt like a disaster.”

Her words echo Mom’s favorite mantra—that our biggest challenges become our greatest blessings—and it makes me ache. I think of Nick. The way he looked at me yesterday, like I was someone who could heal him. And the way I wanted to be that person, even if I’m not sure I can be.

“I wouldn’t mind a little of that magic right about now,” I murmur.

“It’s not magic, Charlie,” Angela says, her voice steady. “It’s just life. It’s up, it’s down, it’s up again. If you stay grounded, you’ll find your way back up. You’ve already started.”

Her words settle over me like a balm, though they don’t erase the questions still swirling in my mind.

I grab my mug and step onto the porch. The sun is just beginning to rise, its golden light spilling over the water, and for a moment, I let myself feel the quiet of it.

Maybe Angela’s right. Maybe life isn’t about magic. Maybe it’s about finding your way, no matter how lost you feel.

But I wouldn’t mind if it felt like magic for just a little while.