Free

Chapter 43

FORTY-THREE

Charlie

The sky is deepening into twilight, the colors bleeding into richer shades of red and purple. Sunshine zigzags ahead of us, the driftwood clamped proudly in her mouth like a prize. Nick’s arm brushes mine as we walk, and I feel the solid warmth of him even through the cooling breeze. There’s a vulnerability in his silence tonight. It tugs at me.

I don’t press, though. Nick is like the tide; he ebbs and flows on his own terms. Pushing him only makes him retreat. So I focus on the rhythmic sound of the waves and the comforting crunch of our footsteps in the sand. It’s one of those perfect evenings where the world feels full of promise, and for a moment, I let myself imagine this could be our life—a dog, a sunset, and nothing but time.

I don’t want to buy a yoga studio in Wildrose Landing.

I don’t want to go home.

I want to find work here and continue to daydream about a future with Nick.

We pause near a cluster of rocks, and I turn to him, brushing a stray lock of hair off his forehead. His face is shadowed now, the setting sun casting his sharp features into relief. He looks at me like he’s about to say something big, and my heart gives a nervous flutter.

Before he can speak, the sharp trill of his phone breaks the moment. He pulls it from his pocket, glances at the screen, and hesitates.

“I should take this,” he says, his voice tinged with something serious, his eyes dark and brooding, the tumultuous thunderstorm instead of the clear blue sky.

“Yeah, of course.” I smile despite the spasm of nerves in my belly.

I watch Nick’s broad shoulders as he paces a few steps away, phone pressed to his ear. His posture is rigid, his free hand curled into a loose fist. The snippets of his voice that drift back to me are low and clipped. Even though I can’t hear the other side of the conversation, it’s clear this isn’t a casual call.

Sunshine drops the stick at my feet, looking up at me expectantly. I toss it half-heartedly, my attention still on Nick. When he finally hangs up, his jaw is tight, and his shoulders are stiff as he walks back toward me. The carefree ease of a few minutes ago is gone, replaced by a gravity that makes my stomach tighten.

“Everything okay?” I ask softly.

He hesitates, running a hand through his hair, his eyes wild with a mixture of excitement and fear. “That was my old CO. He wants me to consult on a mission. Maybe several missions.”

I blink, trying to process the words. “Consult on a mission?” I echo. “What’s that even mean?”

“It’s nothing like before.” Nick scans my face like he’s gauging my reaction. “I’d just be advising. They’ve got a situation they think I can help with.”

Just the other day, he promised he’d never leave me again, and I felt terrible when I realized I’m the one who’s temporary.

Now this.

He gets a call from his old CO right after I learn there’s a yoga studio for sale in Wildrose Landing.

Is it a nudge?

One of Mom’s hints from the Universe?

Are Nick and I being guided away from each other?

“What kind of situation?” My voice comes out steadier than I feel.

Nick sighs, the sound heavy. “It’s sensitive, so I can’t say much. But they’d need me on-site for a few weeks. It’s not combat. I wouldn’t be in the field. Just strategy and logistics.”

“Where would you go?” I ask, trying to keep my tone neutral.

“Overseas. It wouldn’t be for long, though.” He pauses, and for the first time, there’s a flicker of uncertainty in his voice.

I nod slowly, though my mind is racing. “Are you thinking about going?”

Nick’s brows draw together. “It’s complicated, Charlie. It’s not just about me anymore. I’ve got you to consider. I’m still trying to process it all.”

His sincerity cuts through me like a knife. It should feel good to hear him say I carry weight in his decision. Instead, it feels like a weight pressing down on my chest. I know what it’s like to lose a part of yourself and try to fill the void with something else.

I lost Nick and filled the void with Davis.

I don’t want Nick to turn down this job, lose his purpose, and fill the void with me.

“How could you not think about it, right?” My smile crackles along the edges and I take a breath as my thoughts charge on ahead.

Nick kept our relationship at arm’s length for four years because of his job. Is that where we’re headed again? What if one consulting job leads to several, which leads to him being away all the time like he’s active duty again, which leads to him not wanting a relationship anymore just like he did when we first met?

The fear is irrational, I know.

Or, at least I think I know.

For that matter, how selfish am I? A wonderful opportunity lands in Nick’s lap and I’m worrying about me instead of being happy for him. Come on, Charlotte Ann. You’re better than this.

“This might be a good thing,” I say with as big a smile as I can muster. “I mean, you wouldn’t be in danger, right? And you could go back to doing what you love. Maybe it’s a good idea for you to think about it. Like seriously consider it.”

I try the idea on. Nick, traveling overseas for a week, a month, who knows. We’ve been there before. Text. Phone calls. Video chat. And me? Where would I be? At Angela and Garrett’s? Back in Wildrose Landing? Living in an apartment here in the Keys that I have no idea how I’d afford? Everything feels so uncertain…

“What does that even mean, Charlie?” Nick shakes his head, frustration flickering across his face. “Do you want me to go? It almost feels like you’re trying to get rid of me.”

“No,” I say quickly. “Absolutely not. Honestly? Something about this job scares me to death. I never want to be without you again, but I also don’t want to get in the way of something that matters to you.”

I could move here, I think but am too afraid to say. I could be waiting for you when you get home…

Assuming you want me…

“You matter to me, Wildrose”

“And you matter to me, Marine. A lot.”

An awkward silence descends. I damn near hold my breath, waiting for him to give me any indication to help me understand where his head’s at. But the silence stretches on, and inexplicably, I find myself opening speaking my fears instead of thinking through them rationally.

“You know, Mom’s always going on about how the universe does its best to make things happen the way they’re supposed to. The timing of this feels so… I don’t know…”

“So what, Charlie? The timing feels so…” Nick grimaces, rolling his hands through the air for me to continue.

I take a deep breath, steeling myself to give him the out I don’t want him to take.

“Is this how it’s supposed to be? The way it’s always been between us?” I look to the water as the rest of my thought escapes on a sigh. “Forever cursed with bad timing.”

“Bad timing?” Nick asks. “What do you mean?”

“Mom told me there’s a yoga studio for sale in Wildrose Landing. Maybe you’re supposed to take that consulting job and I’m supposed to go home.”

His reaction is immediate—his shoulders tense, and a flicker of something unreadable passes over his face. “Is that what you want?”

“No. Not at all. Have I ever talked about wanting to open my own studio?” I force myself to meet his gaze, even though my chest feels tight. “I’m just putting it out there. You know, in case…” I trail off, gesturing vaguely.

“In case what?” His voice is quiet, but there’s an edge to it that makes me wince.

“In case you want to take the job and don’t want to let me down. I know how much you’ve missed your sense of purpose,” I finish softly.

Nick steps closer, his eyes searching mine. He exhales sharply, his hand coming up to cup the back of his neck. “This isn’t just about purpose. It’s about us. About what we’re building here.”

The raw honesty in his voice nearly undoes me, but fear wells up inside me and I give it a voice without thinking. “And what if that changes?” I ask, hating the way my voice wavers. “What if you go on this mission and realize you need that life more than you need this one?”

Nick looks like I’ve just slapped him. He opens his mouth, then closes it, his jaw working as he struggles for words. When he finally speaks, his voice is low and rough. “Do you really think I’d just walk away from you?”

You did once, I think, but don’t say, though I swear he can read it in my eyes because everything in him softens.

“Charlie…” He takes my hand, his grip firm but gentle. For a long moment, neither of us speaks. The waves crash in the background, and Sunshine trots back to us, dropping the stick at Nick’s feet as if trying to break the tension.

Finally, he sighs, bending to pick up the stick and tossing it farther down the beach. “Those deep thoughts I was having? I was thinking of asking you to move in with me. That’s where I am with you.”

I smile at the thought.

He was thinking of asking me to move in and I was thinking of how much I don’t want to leave. Maybe that’s the nudge Mom told me to look out for.

“That’s where I am with you too…”

I wait for him to ask me, to make it official so we can put all this confusion behind us, but Nick simply runs a hand through his hair and stares at his feet. After too many silent seconds, I take a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“If that’s where you are,” I say, taking Nick’s hand and searching his eyes, “where you really are, why are we having this conversation and not that one?”

The question takes him off-guard. Doubt flickers in his eyes and his jaw clenches as he looks away. I wait for him to change the topic, to ask me to move in, to say he doesn’t have all the answers to our future, but that we’ll find them together.

Instead he says, “That’s a fair question,” and leaves it at that.

I swallow hard, the lump in my throat making it impossible to speak. I step into Nick’s arms, pressing my forehead against his chest. He holds me tightly, his hand stroking my hair as if he’s trying to smooth away all the unspoken things between us.

For now, it’s enough. But deep down, I know this is just the beginning of a storm we can’t avoid.