Chapter 6
Six
SENAN
I can’t look at what’s left of my wings without wanting to put my fist through the fucking wall. If Boris had to take them, why couldn’t he have taken all of them? These black stumps are all I see when I look in the mirror. All I feel when I move. When I breathe .
My hands shake where they grip the sink. If this weren’t our only privy, I’d rip the porcelain from the wall and slam my fist into the mirror over and over and over again. I’d break everything in this fucking place, from the creaky bed to the drafty, single-pane windows.
I’m trying my best to keep going, but it feels like I’m breathing shards of glass, a thousand tiny cuts stealing my life one inhale at a time.
And Allette…
The only time she comes near me is to change my bandages and clean my disgusting wounds. If there were any way for me to care for them myself, I would.
But like everything else in this forsaken realm, I am completely helpless.
Tonight, I planned on cooking for my girl. It was the least I could do after she spent hours in the village securing work and picking up items to stock our rapidly emptying shelves.
For the first time since we arrived, I did something to contribute. It was only a blasted cheesecake, but I knew it would make my girl smile, maybe even bring the spark back to her eyes.
When she suggested doing the dishes, this thin veneer I’ve been hiding behind shattered just like the chair I smashed against the wall earlier.
I don’t want her to do more. I want her to let me help, to let me take care of her.
Instead, she barely glances my way, like she cannot stand the sight of me.
Meanwhile, I suffer in silence, waiting for some sort of sign that she still finds me attractive. Every time she walks by, my cock gets so hard, even the soft fabric of my trousers makes me throb. The gentle scent of her shampoo haunts the very air I breathe.
These wounds, the pain, this foreign realm—I have survived it all but the distance between us will surely be the end of me. I need Allette to put me out of my misery. For her to confirm that the future we have dreamed of for so long will never come to pass.
I shove the privy door aside and stalk back to where Allette waits by the sink, hands wrenching in front of her, beautiful face fallen in misery. Our gazes find each other as they always do. A silver line of tears clings to her thick lashes.
I take a hesitant step forward, unsure whether she will want my comfort or if my presence disgusts her so much that it only widens this chasm between us. “What’s wrong?”
She sweeps a finger beneath those lashes that have brushed my skin so many times, that I can still feel their phantom kiss right over my heart. “It feels as if I’m losing you.”
“You couldn’t lose me if you tried.”
Her huffed chuckle loosens the tears, and they roll like raindrops down her cheeks. “You need time to heal. To grieve. I know that, and yet all I can think about is how desperately I want to throw myself at you.”
Wait …
She still wants me? Gods above, why has she waited this long to say so?
“Please, throw yourself at me. I swear I’ll catch you every time.”
Allette tugs at her littlest finger, her chest rising and falling with every measured breath. “I’m afraid your stitches will?—”
“Forget about the stitches.” And the mangled mess they’re holding together. “They’re on my shoulders, remember? The rest of me is still in perfect working order.” For now, anyway.
Her cheeks turn my favorite shade of pink, like the clouds at sunset on a beautiful summer’s evening. “Prove it.”
I long to go to her, but fear holds me back.
“This is what I mean, Senan. I am practically begging, and yet you cannot even bring yourself to cross the bloody room. If you’re regretting your decision, just tell me.”
The only thing I regret is not being able to save my girl from every tragedy that has befallen her since the day we met.
“I’m afraid, all right?” I confess, hating the tears on her cheeks and the terror in my heart. “Every time you look at my hideous wounds, you wince like you cannot stand the sight of me.”
She closes the distance between us, her hands gliding up my arms. I can’t help but move closer, starved for her touch. “I only wince because I know how much pain you’re in. I love your body, but I fell in love with your soul.” Her fingertips brush against my forehead as she pushes back a lock of my hair, her eyes softening, filling like wells of liquid gold. “You are the kindest man I have ever met. Your capacity for love and joy—and mischief—is endless.”
The unease that has gripped my chest ever since I woke without a part of myself loosens its hold as I breathe her into my lungs, into my soul.
Allette’s lips hitch at the corners, and her hand drops to the bunched fabric I abandoned on the counter before stomping away like a toddler in a strop. “Would it be too bold of me to say that you looked edible in this apron?”
If my girl wants me in a frilly apron, then that’s the way she’ll have me. I snag the corner and fasten the ties around my waist. The faded pink material does nothing to distract from my bulging cock. “Better?”
Her smile twists wickedly. “Much.” She picks up the fork holding my abandoned slice of cheesecake, bringing it to my lips so I can take a dutiful bite. Sweet, yet tart, but… “Could use more lemon.” I’ll have to remember that when I bake the next one. Luckily, the woman whose house we’ve commandeered kept a decent stock of lemon juice and zest down in the cellar.
Allette pops the rest into her mouth, smiling around the too-large bite. “Tastes pretty good to me.”
I ease forward, dragging the tip of my tongue along her crumb-dusted lips. “I know something that tastes even better.”
Her hands slide up my arms, hooking around my neck, and— Fuck! —accidentally grazing what’s left of my wing. I bite my lip to keep from crying out, but Allette must recognize the pain on my face.
“I’m so sorry,” she blurts, paling as she tries to retreat across the kitchen. “I knew I would hurt you.”
I capture her wrists, holding her in place, breathing through the worst of the pain. “I’m fine.”
She tries to tug free from my grasp. It’s a half-hearted attempt at best, and now that I know she desires my touch as much as I yearn for hers, I’ll not be dissuaded so easily. “Ah, ah. You’re not going anywhere.”
“But—”
“ But we must do something about these wandering hands of yours.” And I know just the thing.
I back her toward the table and shove the baking dish to the side, setting her right in the middle like the dessert she is. Her quiet giggle falls silent when I remove my belt from beneath the ridiculous apron. “Lie back. Hands up there.” I gesture to the back of the dining chair.
Wearing a sultry smile, she eases back, her arms lifting and hands slipping between the spokes.
Using the belt, I create a figure eight before sauntering around the table and sliding the makeshift leather cuffs around her wrists, ensuring they’re nice and secure. “There we go. Now they won’t cause any problems.”
I return to the other side, fitting my hips between her spread knees, and kissing her with all the passion she exhumes from my broken soul.
For too long, I’ve felt useless, but now? Now I am wholly capable and more than ready to be of service to my girl.
I start by untying the laces on the stiff bodice of her brown muslin dress. The material falls to the side, revealing a silken shift so sheer that I can see the rosy pebbles of her nipples straining against the fabric.
“Hello there.” My thumb flicks over one of the peaks, and I relish the way it stiffens. “Looks like you’ve missed me as much as I’ve missed you.” Allette’s soft whimper strikes the perfect chord within me. “Now, now. There is no need to be jealous.” My free hand falls to her other breast, kneading the pale globe. “I have two hands for a reason.”
“Your teasing is infuriating,” she grits through her teeth as she writhes on the tabletop, looking every bit like the wanton woman of my dreams.
My head dips, but before I can taste the tantalizing peak, I stop and whisper, “My teasing has only begun.”
Her back arches, forcing her nipple against my smirking lips.
How can I resist such a tempting invitation?
Allette’s whimper melts into a moan when I take her into my mouth, flicking and teasing with the tip of my tongue. My cock swells, aching and heavy in my trousers, demanding attention. There will be plenty of time for that, I remind it. First, I must attend to this woman who still loves me even though I’m destitute and deformed.
We are meant to be. Meant to live and to love.
If only our time together wasn’t limited.
If only we could spend the next century like this.
But we are only playing house, with death waiting on our doorstep, poised to knock.
Suddenly, the week we wasted being at odds feels like a lifetime. How foolish that a problem so simply resolved caused so much misery when all we had to do was speak our truths to one another.
The chair rattles, and her hips buck, but when I said my teasing had only begun, I meant it. I draw back, the dampness from my mouth making the silk translucent, giving me an unobstructed view of my girl’s breasts, heaving and trembling with each ragged gasp.
I drop a hand to her knee, gathering the fabric of her skirts in my fist, exposing her pale skin inch by glorious inch until only her lace undergarments remain. The wet patch at her center matches the ones at her breasts, drenched with desire. My thumb slides and strokes, finding the spot that makes her moan, working in tight, fast circles until she’s panting my name.
Her chin lifts, exposing the length of her straining throat. “Senan. I need… I need…”
“What do you need? For me to flip up these skirts and fuck you with my tongue? Kiss you right here?” I drag her undergarments to the side, finding that bundle of nerves and flicking faster.
Her mewl of desire drives me to the breaking point. “Yes. Use your tongue.”
Kneeling on the floorboards, I bury my face in her wet heat, consuming her the way she has consumed me. Allette’s moans become a symphony as I rediscover that perfect spot with my tongue, working her over and over again. The chair rattles as she fights against her bonds, and when I fasten my lips around her clit, drawing the swollen flesh into my mouth, her cries hit a crescendo. I work a finger into her wetness, pumping and curling and twisting as my cock thickens in anticipation.
“Senan, if you don’t give yourself to me, I swear…”
The desperation in her voice has me rising to my feet. The delicate flush of her cheeks is the perfect setting for the feral look in her lust-glazed eyes. “Doesn’t appear as though you’re in a position to make threats, my love.”
Allette’s legs snap around my back, her heels digging into my spine as she uses my surprise to her advantage, dragging me forward, knocking my apron-clad hips against her soaked center. “You were saying?” she coos, grinding herself on my aching length.
I fall forward, my hands landing on either side of her grinning face. “Minx.”
She presses closer, rolling her hips. “I believe you have something for me beneath those ruffles.”
“Oh, I do.”
Hunger flashes in her eyes, her pupils blown wide, evaporating the gold. “Untie me.”
My nose grazes hers, and I pretend to consider her request even as I shift my apron to the side and unfasten the button on my trousers. “Mmmm… No.”
A storm descends over her features. “Senan Vale…”
“Allette Vale…” My trousers fall around my ankles.
“I swear?—”
“To love me forever?”
“To despise you if you do not?—”
Fisting my cock, I position myself at her entrance and thrust, turning her threats into a gasp. “You were saying?” I grit out, blackness spotting the edge of my vision.
Fucking hell, she’s perfect. So fucking perfect .
Her eyes fall closed as I draw back, her breasts bouncing when I rock forward once more. How does this keep getting better? I will never tire of the way her body cradles mine.
We keep moving together until everything is shaking. The table. The chair. Her legs. Our breaths. Heels digging into flesh. Hands braced on wood. Stealing whatever pleasure we can find until the world and our problems fade into darkness, cast into shadows by the brightest light shining beneath me.
Far too soon, I’m at my end, but I’ve spent too much time without her to fall on my own. I slip a hand between where we’re joined, working my fingers in tandem with my hips until she cries my name and we’re both tumbling head-first into bliss.
My wobbling arms give out, and I collapse forward, my chest pressed to hers as our hearts beat in harmony.
“Until the sun implodes,” Allette whispers, her lips like a brand against my temple.
“And the stars no longer shine,” I whisper back, praying for more time.