Chapter 12
Twelve
ALLETTE
Murky light filters through the curtains as I snuggle deeper into Senan’s embrace. I would love nothing more than to spend the day lying in bed, but there is a portal to reach, and I cannot possibly do that from beneath these covers.
Senan sleeps peacefully by my side, one heavy arm draped across my waist, his soft breaths fanning against my bare shoulder. It’s too cold to be sleeping without clothes, but when your mate spends the entire night worshiping your body, putting clothes back on is the last thing you want to do.
I lift his arm and slip from beneath the covers. The floor is like ice beneath my feet. Although I add a log to the waning fire in the bedroom, it will take some time for the room to heat. I dress quickly, use the toilet, and bank the fire in the living room. Bundled from my head to my toes, I sneak back into the bedroom to check on Senan.
“I’m going to the stones,” I say.
He smiles sleepily, his eyes remaining closed. “I might stay here.”
That isn’t like him. He never lets me go alone.
Perhaps it’s for the best. All he wants to do is distract me with his kisses. Without him there, I’ll be able to focus on the task at hand.
Outside, the wind whips into tiny tornadoes, tossing powdery snow into the air. Our footprints from the day before have been wiped away by the squall, leaving no trace behind.
The joys of living in the human world this time of year. Darkness brackets each day, with mornings beginning late and the light fading by early afternoon. We are trying to keep our hope alive, but everything is unraveling at the seams.
Curse this season and this precipitation and all the damn clouds blocking this realm’s most vital resource.
When I reach the center of the standing stones, I plant my feet in the snow and hold out my hands.
My magic stirs.
A whisper.
Enough to swirl the flakes dancing through the air.
Closing my eyes, I focus on the heat sparking in my chest. The lies we’ve been told fall away like shackles, freeing me to access the power in my heart. I feel the moment my feet leave the ground but don’t dare open my eyes for fear of losing control.
Today.
This will happen today.
I squeeze my eyes closed, stoking this fire with every wish and dream that still lives within me, refusing to let any of them die. When my lashes open once more, I can see the tops of snow-dusted trees.
It’s going to work!
Smoke curls from distant chimneys in the village. The road on the far side stretches toward the next town over.
I can see it all.
Higher and higher I climb, up toward those clouds that conceal the way, not caring if a random passerby catches sight of me hovering mid-air.
I can do this.
I can do this.
I—
My magic stutters. Fades. Evaporates.
“No!” I scream to the wind, forcing the dregs from my fingertips.
I will not fall. I will not falter. I will save my love. Save us both.
A wicked wind slams into my spine, knocking me out of the circle, spinning me around and around.
Please. Please .
I call on my magic once more.
Only silence answers.
I start to fall, slipping through nothing, dropping faster and faster, hurtling toward the blanket of white far below, and slamming into the snow with a pitiful cry. The air evaporates from my lungs, and I lay there gasping, struggling to find my next breath.
When I finally do, each inhale feels like someone driving a dagger between my ribs. Tears freeze on my cheeks as I stare up at an endless sea of white and gray.
The wind whistling through the forest echoes like laughter.
Perhaps it was fool-hearted to believe that I had the power to traverse realms without wings.
What other choice do I have? Am I supposed to sit idly by and watch the man I love slowly pass away?
I feel so bloody helpless, fighting a battle we cannot win on our own.
Perhaps tomorrow will look more hopeful.
One thing is for certain, I won’t be trying to fly again any time soon.
Bracing a hand against my sore back, I ease carefully to my feet.
Right now, all I want is to return to the house, strip out of these frigid clothes, curl up in bed next to Senan, and pretend today didn’t happen. He’ll be upset when he finds out I’m hurt and end up blaming himself. He does that far too often despite my constant reminders that the situation we are in is not his fault.
Each aching step is a slog, all the way back to the home we’ve stolen. When I open the door, the usual blast of heat that greets me is nowhere to be found.
Is it any wonder? The fire in the hearth has burned down to almost nothing.
I slip the gloves from my hands; my fingers have gone white from the cold. When I call Senan’s name, he doesn’t answer. Pain lances across my back as I bend down to untie my frozen laces and set my boots beside the hearth, adding a log that hopefully won’t smother the few embers that remain.
“Senan?” Floorboards creak as I cross to the bedroom, my damp socks leaving wet footprints behind.
Senan hasn’t moved since I left.
The night terrors seem to have abated, and the coughing has eased, which is a blessing for us both. His face, serene in sleep, is too pale. What I wouldn’t give for a week of proper sunlight to restore us both.
“My love?” I cup his stubbled jaw, but he does not rouse. His hand tucked beneath his cheek is almost as cold as mine, which makes no sense since the fire in this room blazes as bright as the sun.
His bare chest is as still as the silence around us; his pulse flutters like a moth’s wings.
“ No …” He cannot die. Not today. “Senan, my love. Open your eyes.” My thumbs trail along the thick sweep of his lashes.
Unlike the other times I’ve pleaded with him, his eyelids do not lift.
There is no smirk or smile or soft retort.
Silence envelopes us both, and the aching in my back is nothing compared to the agony in my heart as it disintegrates. I must get that antidote. There is no other option, no alternative.
I either save him today or lose him forever.
I stumble for the door, stuffing my feet back into my boots and racing outside, through the forest, through the snow, panic fueling every jagged breath.
Wind whips and tears at my dress, but I feel no cold.
I feel nothing at all.
Numb to the snow and the pain—everything but the unending emptiness in my chest.
The stones loom, and I swear I can hear the stars cackling from wherever they hide. I cry out to my power but no magic springs from my fingertips. The winds no longer answer my call.
This cannot be the end.
I won’t survive losing him.
I fall to my knees, willing the cold to seep into my bones and take me too. To snuff out this cursed life of mine so that we might find each other beyond the veil. So that he does not have to cross into the unknown alone.
We’ve been damned in this lifetime, but in the next, surely, we will be allowed to love one another.
I swipe at the tears streaming down my face, but they keep flowing.
For Senan. For me. For the family we never created. For the years that have been stolen from us.
The ground shakes beneath my knees, a resounding thump echoing through the stones.
I squint against the harsh white backdrop, barely able to see through the blur of tears.
Before me stands a man with tanned skin, a strong jaw, and silver eyes. I know he cannot possibly be who I think he is because this one still has his wings, and yet he almost looks exactly like… “Senan?”
The man comes closer, kneeling next to me in the snow. That’s when I see the gold rings climbing the shell of his ear. His brow scrunches and eyes narrow as he glowers down at me. “Where the hell is my brother?”