Chapter 48
Forty-Eight
SENAN
My traitorous guard saunters into the room like he’s the king himself, head high and proud, wings on full display, as if mocking us for having ours cut from our bodies. Beside me, Allette goes still. My arm around her waist does nothing to soothe the worry lines on her face.
I try my best to focus on her despite the stardust in my veins willing my eyes to close so I can drift off to somewhere far more pleasant than this cage.
My girl slips from my grip, walking right up to those bars and staring down her nose at the bastard who could’ve saved us both, but chose to damn us instead.
“I’m surprised the king let you in the room, given our history,” she says, her hands folded at her waist.
Why isn’t she shouting or railing at him?
It would seem I’m not the only one surprised by her soft, warm tone.
Bell’s brow furrows, his gray eyes narrowing as he returns Allette’s stare. “The king knows my loyalty is to him.”
Her head tilts. “Then why did you save me instead of killing me as he ordered?”
Must she dredge up the past? If I hadn’t left her side that morning, perhaps our fates would have been different. If I hadn’t been so fucking complacent and taken her farther from the portal, somewhere no one would ever find us, we would still be whole. Happy .
I drop to the floor, unable to hold myself upright. The golden light sparkling through my skin plays on the marble like leaf-dappled sunlight on a forest floor.
“You know why,” Bell grits out, fists tightening at his sides.
“Because you love me.”
Please. He never loved her. And even if he did, he never loved her half as much as me.
He stole her. He’s a thief.
And in Kumulus, the punishment for theft is death.
Wonder if he thought about that when he took her.
What I wouldn’t give for a blade and five minutes alone with Eason Bell.
My former guard says nothing, but the muscle ticking in his jaw speaks volumes.
Allette drifts closer to the bars, her voice a warm, honeyed balm. “Do you love me still? You saved me from the pit…you could save me again. All you have to do is open this door. Let Senan free, and I’ll go with you without a fight. You and I can live wherever you choose, in this realm or among the humans. I could make you happy.”
Fucking dust . Playing tricks on me. Allette would never go with him willingly. I try to push myself to my feet, but my legs have abandoned me as well.
She can’t leave. She can’t go with him. She can’t?—
Except…
If she did, she would be safe. Bell could take her far away from the king and the castle. I want that for her, don’t I?
Life. Happiness. Hope.
What can I offer her besides certain death?
Warm tears trickle down my cheeks as I consider letting go of Allette once and for all. Sending her off into the sky with my well-wishes. Even if Bell fulfils his side of the bargain and sets me free, I won’t be leaving this place.
I’d rather die knowing she is free than live knowing she is with someone else.
Bell’s fist knocks against his thigh as he considers. “We did have a good time, didn’t we?” A hint of a smile ghosts across his lips when Allette nods, and he edges closer to the cage. So close that, if I had the energy to stand, I could almost reach out and grab him by the throat.
“I remember the first day I saw you. The king found out that his brother was sneaking off to meet a woman, and he ordered me to follow. You were walking through the park. Your hair was the most stunning shade of blue. I remember thinking how good it would look wrapped around my fist.”
Stop. Stop. Stop.
Bell draws even closer, his voice dropping. “I remember the first time you let me into your bed. What was it? A week or two after the prince abandoned you? You spread your legs for me and cried my name when I made you come so hard your body shuddered.”
Allette goes utterly still, the color in her face draining away. She only waited a week?
Lies. Lies. Lies .
Surely her grief would have kept her from taking him as a lover for longer than that. We were mated—desperately in love.
She thought you were dead.
That knowledge doesn’t make the truth hurt any less.
“Eason…” Allette’s eyes glisten with her quiet plea.
“You used to love the way I licked your cunt, didn’t you? Let me put my head between your knees whenever I wanted. I bet you’d let me do it right now if I promised to let your prince go free.” He shifts to the side, his gaze locking on me. “Maybe I should.”
Tears splash on my chest. No. No . She wouldn’t let him do that. Not in front of me.
Rage vibrates through my bones, making the stardust glowing in my veins flicker.
Allette swipes at her tears. “Eason, stop.”
“Why should I? Don’t you want me to help you? To save you?”
“Yes, but?—”
Eason slams his boot into the bars, rattling the cage around us. “You might have made a fool out of me before, but never again.” He levels a finger at where I slump on the ground. “You chose him, and now you’ll die in the bed you made. A fucking duster…” He shakes his head with a mirthless chuckle. “Did he tell you about the time he went to Fox’s for his birthday? He fucked four different whores all at once—didn’t even use a private room to do it.”
No. No. No. No.
My hands shake as I drag them through my hair. “Stop. Please.”
I don’t want her to know how low I fell. Don’t want her to realize she wasted her life loving me.
But he doesn’t stop there. He tells her about so many of my dark misdeeds, and no matter how hard I screw my eyes shut, all I see are the faces of the people I’ve used and those I’ve let use me.
There is no longer anywhere peaceful to drift, only dark shadows with teeth that slash and sever.
Warmth caresses my cheeks, and when I peer through bleary eyes, I see my girl’s golden gaze, her hands holding my face as she sinks onto my lap. “Don’t listen to him,” she whispers, her hands sliding from my face to cover my ears, pressing close until all I hear is the unsteady beat of my own heart.
She flinches, and that’s when I realize Eason is still on the other side of the bars, no doubt spewing more hate. I bring my hands to my love’s ears, pulling her close.
“Think of the house by the seaside,” I say against her temple, hoping she cannot hear anything but me.
A smile touches her lips even as wetness streaks down her cheeks, gathering into fat drops on her jaw, falling onto her blood-stained uniform. “And the fourteen children.”
Fourteen children that will never have names because these are dreams, and in this cruel world, dreams don’t come true.
The cage around us rattles, and from the corner of my eye, I see Bell kicking the base, his red face contorted in fury before he stalks onto the balcony.
Allette’s forehead presses against mine, and the sounds outside our cocoon fade until it’s only our mingling breaths and pounding hearts. “You know, I think I’ve changed my mind,” she whispers. “I no longer want a house by the sea.”
“Then what do you want?” I ask, pretending for a little longer that it is within my power to give it to her.
“To be Queen of Kumulus.” When she draws back, I see such a fierce determination on her face, that if our fates weren’t sealed, there is no doubt in my mind she would get what she wants.
But our fates are sealed and sitting here dreaming of what could have been might kill me before the king gets that noose around my neck.
“Allette—”
Her fingertips press against the seam of my lips, stopping my protest. “And you shall be king.”
“There is no more hope.”
“As long as there is air in my lungs, there shall be hope in my heart.”
“Isn’t that sweet?” Boris’s voice cuts like a fucking blade. Still clinging to each other, Allette and I turn our heads toward the king. “It almost makes me feel guilty for having to tell you that there won’t be air in either of your lungs much longer.”
I’m too afraid to ask, so I don’t.
Boris crosses his arms, looking on expectantly. “What? No questions? No begging? No pleas?”
I love nothing more than to disappoint him.
His expression hardens, but his smile never falters. “We pushed forward the date for your trial. I hope you both enjoy your last night together. This ends tomorrow.”