Freezing Bonds that Tie our Hearts (Blood and Water #2)

24. Aiden

Three days passed, and the cops still had nothing.

Three days since Rory got taken and Nova was slowly withdrawing into herself, back into the carefully crafted persona she had just started to grow out of. After her asshole of a father basically accused her of being responsible for her sister’s disappearance in front of the whole town, she locked herself in her room and didn’t leave.

I obviously was not able to visit her, but Zainab was and she even slept over last night, which was how I got most of my news on the situation.

She barely spoke, didn’t eat, and just spent her days in bed staring at the walls.

After Damon said what he said, I was ready to say fuck it to the fact that he was her father and just jump him, but Matt and Gray pulled me off to the side.

I saw Nova’s face fall and shatter totally when the hateful words left his mouth, they cut her deeper than any knife would ever have been able to.

In his defense, Mr. Starling looked like he regretted uttering those words from the moment they came out of his mouth. He tried back-pedaling but it was too late, Nova had already turned around and walked inside the house with a calmness that bordered on eerie.

I wanted to ask Zainab if she didn’t forget her meds, but the thought of breaking Nova’s trust was unbearable. She didn’t want anyone to know about her PTSD and I respected that. Plus, I trusted her and I knew she wouldn’t put her health in danger, especially not when her sister needed her the most.

“You okay, baby?” My mother’s voice made me look up from my phone, where my texts to Nova had all gone unanswered, she never even opened them.

Gulping down my emotions, I nodded softly, “It’s just driving me crazy. First Oscar and now Rory. We have no idea where they are and there’s just nothing we can do. I don’t know how to cope.”

She came to sit beside me, it was still early, the first rays of sunshine were barely seeping through the blinds on my window.

“I’m so sorry this is all happening. Neither of those kids deserved this and I still have hope that they’re found safe and sound, Aiden.”

I swallowed thickly, unwilling to shatter those hopes she so desperately clung onto.

Because the truth was that I had none left. I didn’t spend all these nights roaming the town in my car in hopes to find him alive, not anymore. I wasn’t a dreamer, I was pragmatic and realist; I knew the chances of finding a kid alive over a month after he was abducted were slim to none.

But I refused to accept that this was Oscar’s fate; so maybe I did cling to the same type of hope my mom did. It’s just… I would feel it if he wasn’t there anymore.

I was about to tell her just that when the sounds of engines and shouting resounded from down our street. More chaos ensued, which made us stand and check what was going on through the window.

“Son of a bitch!”

I was out of my room and out of the house in an instant, ignoring my mother’s screams for me to stay there.

Southie assholes were there, wreaking absolute havoc on our properties. Two big trucks were running over fences while guys wearing ski masks used baseball bats to destroy everything in their passage— bikes, mailboxes, cars. Things people—my people— had been saving to get sometimes for years.

“Get down here if you’re men!” I yelled, crossing the streets and marching in their direction, ready to annihilate them. I wasn’t the only one, Gray, who had spent the night at my house, was also there and shrugging on his shirt while sprinting in their direction.

Those assholes laughed at us and roared their engines to try and deter us from advancing further.

“Back off, scum! You took from us, so we’re taking from you!”

My blood was boiling. I thought I couldn’t get any more angry but then a breathless gasp was heard coming from the house they were currently vandalizing, and I just saw red.

Mr. Regans stood there, looking at the mess these cockroaches had made of his beautiful garden. They ran over the fence and where there once were gorgeous flower beds now lied tire marks and torn petals strewn amid the dirt. The little pots filled with plants that Mrs. Regans had spent years thrifting and collecting when she was still alive, all shattered.

I didn’t think and ran to the closest truck, yanking open the door and grabbing the first guy I could find by the collar of his shirt. I pulled him out and threw him down on the road before plummeting his face like a fucking punching bag. I ignored the screams of both his guys and my people telling me to stop. They knew that whatever happened, the police would always back him up, not me.

But these people didn’t deserve our kindness, they spent years looking down on us and humiliating us, and this was crossing a line. My vision blurred as I crashed my fists against his face over and over, vaguely aware of someone pulling at my shirt, voices all around me might as well have been white noise. All I saw was Mr. Regans heartbreak etched all over his face as he took in what was left of his beloved garden. All I could see were my neighbors, people I grew up with, who helped raise me, coming out of their houses only to see their car windows had been smashed, knowing it was some of them’s only way of getting to work.

When finally, strong hands grabbed my shoulders and forcefully pulled me up, that’s when my senses slowly started coming back to me. Matt and Gray both held me back as my mom looked on with her hand over her mouth, shock and fear clear on her face.

I looked down at the guy I nearly destroyed and recognized Luis Hovez, a Southie from my math class that I couldn’t care less about. His ski mask was torn and blood gushed from his now-crooked nose, split brow bone and mouth, where I could see a couple of teeth were missing.

I didn’t feel anything as I looked at him writhing in pain. No pity, no regret.

They came for us, they destroyed our neighborhood, they demanded our wrath and attention. And now they fucking had it.

Two of them came down the truck to carry a barely conscious Luis and bring him back inside the vehicle. The other truck roared and sped towards me but I stood my ground, and so did Gray and Matt next to me. Deep down, we all knew they didn’t have the balls to do it, to run us over. But even on the off chance they did, I’d rather die than show weakness in front of these fuckers.

They stopped barely inches in front of me, so much so that I could feel the heat from the motor against my skin, but still, I didn’t move. Their leader, whom I easily recognized as Lewis fucking Knightsley even though we could only see his eyes, sat on the front passenger window, pointing me with the same bat he’d used to smash people’s cars earlier.

“You’ll fucking pay for that!”

I didn’t say anything at first, simply held his gaze and spat on the ground,“You wanna fuck with the North, you better be able to fight like us too.”

But these cowards couldn’t and after he flinched, Lewis simply told the driver to speed off, making a u-turn before going back to their cushy houses and safe neighborhood.

While ours looked like a fucking tornado had passed through it.

***

Nova

I hadn’t spoken to Dad in over a week.

Which was just how long Rory had been missing.

The guilt eating at me those first few hours after her disappearance was nothing compared to what I was feeling now. It felt like dying, like each breath I took was one I had stolen from her.

It wasn’t fair that I was here while she wasn’t. It wasn’t fair and it wasn’t right.

But sometimes, like a brief and cruel reprieve, I forgot. I forgot that she wasn’t here and that it was my fault.

Like yesterday morning, when my dream fashion school called, waking me up from a restless night and telling me I would be one of their new students come next fall. My first reaction had been to run to Aurora’s room to tell her the good news, but when sleep wore off and I saw she wasn’t there, I broke down. Everything came back to me, the fight we’d had right before she was taken, the words she used…

Because of what happened three years ago, I’d always felt guilty of taking so much of our Dad’s time and attention, and my biggest fear was that both of my sisters would feel it and resent me for it.

The idea that that day might have been the last time I saw her and the last words I heard her utter, made me want to fucking die. I’d have given anything to have her back by my side.

A low beeping sound resounded behind me but, as usual lately, I ignored it as I picked up my phone and turned off the alarm, noticing I had a text from Aiden.

I missed him too, but I didn’t think I deserved to be in his presence.

He always made me feel better, soothed me. When I was with him, I felt like I mattered, and after what happened, I knew I didn’t deserve that. I had failed my sister and until she was back here with me, I wouldn’t allow myself to feel the slightest bit of relief or joy. It wasn’t fair, not when I didn’t even know if she could feel those things anymore.

The thought caused tears to spring to my eyes, and I pinched my lips together, trying to stay strong, in vain. A sob broke free as I chucked the phone down, my hands turning into fists as they clutched the skirt of my dress. I sat down on the edge of my bed and doubled over in pain.

I couldn’t bear the thought of Rory being dead.

I couldn’t bear living in a world where she didn’t exist, not being able to hear her voice whenever I woke up in the morning.

I cried, as silently as I could, the pain in my heart spreading to my whole body.

It felt like dying.

“Nova…” My eyes blinked open and I turned my head toward the door to my room where Dad stood, looking disheveled and broken.

Pinching my lips together, I wiped my cheeks and swallowed my tears, unwilling to let him see me like this.

He’d tried apologizing a thousand times, but I wouldn’t hear him out. I wouldn’t because, deep down, I knew he was right. I was the reason my little sister wasn’t here anymore, and I would never forgive myself.

“Nova, I’m—”

I never let him finish, swiftly slamming the door of my room before slumping against it and letting myself fall to the ground while tears drowned my cheeks.

The walls of my room felt like they were closing in on me, making it hard to breathe.

So I closed my eyes and let my head fall back against the door, letting darkness engulf me.

***

Aiden

Going back to school and acting like nothing was wrong a little over a week after Rory disappeared was nearly unbearable. I had no desire to come, especially because it was Friday and I didn’t see the point, but since today was the last day to give Mr. Kerill’s our final assignment outline, I showed up.

Luis too was back and from the fact that no cop came to knock on my door and take me to the station after I beat him up, I knew he didn’t talk. None of them did. He avoided me like the plague, and I couldn’t lie and say seeing him scurry away whenever I was near didn’t fill me with satisfaction. Lewis glared at me whenever we crossed paths, but neither he or any of his friends had set foot in our neighborhood again.

The pricks were making Matt’s life a living hell, though. Since they were all on the football team with him, and Matt was one of the only Northie players, it wasn’t hard to do so. He didn’t complain, but I saw him wince yesterday after their practice and I knew they must’ve gone harder on him.

Kerill came in, looking a little out of breath and disheveled. A bruise was starting to appear around his left eye and when he put his bag on his desk, he looked up to me, looking surprised.

“Aiden. I haven’t seen you all week.”

“Yeah, it was… it was a complicated week. Had a lot to do.” Between working hard to fix our neighborhood and breaking into every single black-car-owners’ house in town, I’d been busy. “Is your daughter okay?” I asked, remembering that Nova told me he’d been looking for her at the fair too. Since there was no news of her disappearance hitting the news like Rory’s, I’d gathered that it was a false alert.

Kerill frowned, a shadow of doubt passing over his face for less than a second before he seemed to regain his senses, “Yes, thank you. She was mad that I wouldn’t let her ride the Ferris wheel alone and hid for a few minutes but she came out when she heard all the commotion.” I nodded, looking at him closely when he pointed at his eye, “My ex wife heard of that incident and her… new boyfriend wasn’t happy about it.” He smiled sadly, pathetically.

“I’m glad your daughter is safe.”

“Me too, even though it means her mom might not let her visit anytime soon.” he sighed sadly, " I’m so sorry about what happened to Nova’s sister, Rory, is it? I volunteer over at the junior high and she’s in my Introduction to Journalism class, she’s a nice kid.”

I nodded, in agreement, “I’m also sorry for Oscar, Aiden,” that made me look up in surprise and he smiled sadly, “I used to also volunteer in the North and offer tutoring classes. Oscar was one of my students last year.”

Emotions clogged my throat, so bad I didn’t have it in me to speak. I hated that he was talking about him in the past tense, but I hated even more that it made sense. The more time passed, the less hope and chance to find him alive we had.

Kerill seemed to understand his mistake because he cleared his throat and offered some miserable encouragement, “I’m sure now that the police are finally taking things seriously, it’s only a matter of time before we find all these kids. Alive and well.” He smiled sadly, but I didn’t react, simply looked away, wishing for other students to start coming in already.

“I— I’m sorry, I’m not good with words,” he chuckled humorlessly, “as an English teacher, it’s probably ironic but… yeah. You can tell Nova that I’m extending the deadline for her and she can take all the time she needs. I hope she’s okay.” I hoped so too.

When all I did was nod, Kerill cleared his throat and the conversation ended there when students started coming in.

Sitting in my usual seat in his class without Nova felt weird. Zainab was apparently back today too, but she looked sad, not like her usual murderous, angry self. She surprised me when she sat next to me silently, evading my gaze.

“You okay?” I asked while we waited for Kerill to start.

“I’m worried about Nova.” Her lips pinched together as she played with the edge of her hijab nervously, “She’s been acting weird.”

I frowned, almost affronted that she would think, let alone say that, “Her little sister disappeared, of course she’s gonna act weird, Zainab.”

The girl looked up to the ceiling and took a deep breath, muttering something in her breath that sounded like ‘ya rabbi’, like I was testing her patience.

“I know my friend, ya lhmar.” She seethes, back to her angry self, “If I say she’s acting weird, it’s because she is. She’s totally withdrawn, won’t even let me into her room or answer my texts anymore.”

“Fuck.”

“I’ve known her for three years and even though she had some… episodes over time, it has never come to the point where she cut contact with everyone. Even her dad can’t get through to her, he tried apologizing but she just won’t let him speak. Cece tried sleeping with her last night and Nova nearly yelled at her to leave her alone. Then she broke down and cried again, according to her dad. She never raises her voice, Aiden, let alone at her sisters. I know my friend, she’s not being herself.” Brown eyes suddenly bore into mine as understanding dawned on me. I sat up straighter, my shoulders tensing.

“You know about her meds.” It wasn’t a question, I could just tell. When Zainab pursed her lips and exhaled a deep breath, I knew I was right.

“I’ve always known about her meds. Nova thinks nobody sees how she struggles, but I do. I pretend not to because that’s the way she likes it and I wanted to wait until she came to me with the news herself.” My respect for her only grew when she said that. Zainab was a true friend and I was glad Nova could count on her.

“Do you… what do you think?” I gulped, already knowing what she was about to say.

“I think she’s punishing herself for what happened. I think she went off her meds, Aiden.”

***

Standing in front of the Starling house, I was still deciding on whether I should ring the bell or simply try my luck and hope they left one of the windows unlocked so that I could climb through it. The decision was quickly taken out of my hands when the door swung open before I could even knock and the youngest Starling sister stood there, looking at me with big eyes before wrapping her little arms around my waist in an awkward hug.

Crouching to be somehow eye level with her, I hugged her back while she clung onto me.

“Is Rory coming back soon? I’m all alone now. Nobody wants to play with me. If she comes back I promise I won’t ever steal her plushies.” She murmured sadly and I tensed, not knowing what to say.

“We’re working on it, sunshine.” Cece looked at me before nodding once and pushing herself away, letting me in.

“Dad is in his office,” she whispered, “Nova is in her room, go while I distract him.” She didn’t let me say anything and was already trotting down the long corridor leading to her father’s home office.

A small smile stretched my lips at her antics, glad her spirits weren’t completely down and knowing that was mostly due to her age.

In a way, she was lucky to be so young because it meant she couldn’t comprehend how bad the situation truly was yet.

I didn’t wait much longer before climbing up the stairs to Nova’s room. Once in front of it, I turned the handle quietly, not wanting to wake her up in case she was sleeping. I was surprised to see her sitting at her desk, dressed in a long-sleeved, turtleneck dress and furiously writing. I closed the door behind me before I could call her name.

“Nova?” The sound of my voice startled her and made her turn around fast.

When she saw me, a grin split her lips and she nearly sprung out of her seat to come meet me. I tensed up when her arms came around my neck, hugging me tight. It only lasted a second though, before I brought her even closer, encasing her small waist with my hands. I closed my eyes, taking in her scent of vanilla and apples, the feeling of her body on mine and her heart beating fast against my chest.

I missed her so much it hurt. So many things happened and before long, over a week had passed since I’d last seen her. It felt good to have her next to me again. She pulled away slightly before pushing her mouth on mine with force. Unable to resist the taste of lips for long, I kissed her back, my hand cupping the back of her neck to deepen it even more.

Nova moaned and let one of her own hands drift down my chest and to my abs before she started tugging at the waistband of my jeans. That’s when I pulled away. She whimpered in complaint and made a move to come after me again but I kept her in place through the grip on her neck.

My chest heaving up and down from our kiss, I whispered, “Are you okay?”

Her eyes found mine, her face blank of any emotion, before she smiled timidly and nodded.

“I was… in a bad place. I’m sorry I didn’t answer your texts and calls, but I think I needed it, you know? Center myself, get it together so that I could feel better to search for her. She needs me and I’m done feeling sorry for myself when there’s so many places to look at. I’m done waiting for the police.”

I looked into her eyes, trying to decide if she was being truthful or not. Her brown orbs shone with sincerity as she cupped my face, her thumb rubbing against my cheekbone softly.

“I’m glad you’re doing better.”

“I am. I actually just finished the outline for Mr. Kerill’s class, I was about to go and drop it off at his house.”

Frowning, I shook my head at her, “There’s no need. He said you could take as much time as you needed, babe.”

It was her turn to frown. Actually, she even looked a little insulted, “I don’t need any special treatment.”

“That’s not what this is, Nova. This is about equity.”

“I don’t need a longer deadline. I’m fine.”

I wanted to disagree with her, remind her that nothing was fine at the moment, but then decided against it. I was scared it would trigger a panic attack or something else related to her PTSD.

“Have you…” fuck, I hated being the one to ask her that, “have you been taking your meds, baby?”

The change on her face was almost immediate. She shut down completely, pushing herself away from me and wrapping her arms around herself.

“Nova—”

“You should go.” Her tone sounded sad, almost dejected. It was cold, but not angry.

“I didn’t mean to—”

“I am well aware of what you must think of me, Aiden. You, my dad, my friends, this whole town, you see me as this- this weak fucking girl, irresponsible and fragile. But I’m not, and I’m done wallowing in self pity. I don’t need you constantly looking out for me.”

“Listen—”

“I’ll call you when I’m back, okay? I’m not mad but I need to be alone right now.”

Wondering how we went from kissing to this, from her missing me to wanting me out of her room, I watched speechlessly as she grabbed the paper she’d been working on, put it in her bag before grabbing the whole thing and hightailing it out of the room.

That’s when I realized something concerning.

She never answered me when I asked if she’d been taking her meds.