Friends With All the Benefits

16 Ellie

E than was especially attentive in the coming days. He wanted to hang out more, even if we lived together. We went out to the museum, the zoo and even the downtown art gallery to see his artist mother’s latest exhibit. We even took the ferry across to Rottnest Island on Sunday and spent the entire day cycling, swimming and taking quokka selfies. We ate out a lot more and ended up driving all over Perth trying new restaurants. It almost felt like we were dating, but I knew it was the furthest thing from that.

I figured he was trying to distract himself from his heartbreak. His crush had moved to Melbourne. Ethan had gone for her goodbye drinks, then come home all morose after that. It had been weeks, but he still mourned what could have been.

I was happy to spend more time with him. I liked his company, and he was always kind, always sweet, and he always made me laugh. But things were getting into dangerous territory for me. I was supposed to be getting over him. Instead, all these not-dates where he paid me all the attention in the world just made me fall even further.

But we were good friends, so I didn’t put a stop to it. I didn’t want to. Spending time with Ethan was like crack to me, and I needed every moment I had with him, even though I knew there was nothing more to it.

I knew he didn’t see me in that light. I knew he had no feelings for me. I knew what his having feelings for someone else looked like. And yet, sometimes I thought I caught him looking at me funny, like he wanted something more.

It was utterly confusing. Thank goodness I had another date with Rafe coming up. This time, Rafe hinted he’d like to get lucky with me. It was exactly what I needed. I just had to make sure of it.