Friends with Benefits (Club Risqué Book 5)

Chapter 6

“Damn, Tara, you look absolutely adorable,” Christian complimented when he arrived to pick her up.

Taryn frowned; she wasn”t sure adorable was what she’d been aiming for; that sounded far too childlike.

”I”m Taryn when we”re not at a function,” she reminded him, wondering if she shouldn”t have glammed up after all. She was trying to get him to realise how much she”d grown up, not flirt with regression. Oh well, too late now!

”Sorry, I forget. I probably call you Tara more than anything else,” Christian apologised as he pulled away from the curb in his sleek, silver sports car.

Taryn pursed her lips. The nickname—if that”s what it was—had come about because Christian had decided that the mutilated version of her name was far more elegant, sophisticated, and in keeping with the events that they frequented. At the time, Taryn had been happy to go along with anything he said.

Now she wondered if she shouldn”t have insisted that he stick to her given name. Times like now, when he used it, made her feel like he’d forgotten who she really was.

Somehow, it just wasn”t the same as when her family affectionately called her Trinity. That she could relate to. It was almost an acronym of her full name, Taryn Tanita Trent, or a reference to the ”three Ts” as her parents used to joke. It was a warm and amusing pet name which made her feel cherished, whereas being referred to as Tara seemed to distance her from herself.

Still, she held the brief irritation in check, determined to enjoy herself this evening. With all the pressure and the heartache recently, she really did need to just let everything go for a little while and chill out.

Dinner was relaxed and enjoyable in a completely different way from the events they usually attended together. Not that those weren”t enjoyable, but they did tend to be somewhat formal and stuffy, not the kind of events where you could just let your hair down.

There was still the pall of sadness hanging over the pair of them, but at least they both understood it. It would be a while before that inevitable period of mourning dulled to a manageable level.

Taryn”s heart bled for Christian. He had so much resting on his young shoulders. Not just the grief of losing his father far too early but also having the responsibilities of the company resting even heavier on his shoulders.

Never mind his mother”s growing dependency.

Taryn was lucky he had time to even think about taking her out for the evening, with everything going on.

She made a concerted effort to keep the conversation light and cheerful. They both needed a break and Christian certainly seemed to appreciate it.

There was a strange kind of intensity filling the vehicle as he drove her back to her little flat on the outskirts of the campus.

She was fortunate enough to have found something she didn”t need to share. The trade-off was that it was tiny, but that suited Taryn since her life didn”t seem to mirror, in even the slightest way, those of the other students who spent most of their time drinking and carousing.

Ironic, really, that Taryn was the one failing her classes, but at least she could console herself with the fact that she had far more noble reasons for her own shortcomings.

She”d get back on track eventually.

Her father wasn”t thrilled, and he’d told her, in no uncertain terms, that he would not be paying for her to re-sit the year, and she couldn”t really blame him. With her brothers and sister, there were four of them all together, and they all wanted to go to college. Her parents weren”t short of cash, but it was still a big outlay when they were all enrolling simultaneously for different years, without her adding an additional one.

It wasn”t a problem. Taryn would simply find herself a job, maybe take a flat mate if she really had to. It would mean giving up her bedroom and sleeping on the sofa bed in the living room, but she could make that sacrifice if necessary. She”d cross that bridge when she came to it.

Right now, her brain was scrambled by the distinct lack of oxygen which all seemed to have been sucked out of Christian”s car. What was that all about?

She could feel her body heating, sweat crawling down the back of her neck at the way Christian kept looking speculatively over at her.

And what was with that?

It wasn”t that he didn”t look at her when they were out; it was just that, this time, there seemed to be a whole different weight of intent in the way he looked her up and down.

Was she imagining that gleam in his eyes? It wasn”t something she recognised readily, but she was pretty certain it had never been there before.

Or maybe it was really just wishful thinking.

Taryn swallowed and made an effort to ignore the rising temperature in the confined space. She had tried to give up on wishing for Christian to see her as anything more than a friend. And since she understood his reasons, absolutely and unquestionably, that really hadn”t been so difficult.

Sure, she’d hoped things might turn out differently one day, but she didn”t think this soon after his father”s death was an appropriate time for her hormones to suddenly go on an all-out rampage and start conjuring up unrealistic fantasies that were likely to trip her up and embarrass her.

Jeez, what was wrong with her?

Taryn tried to calm her racing heart and hoped beyond hope that Christian didn”t pick up on the tension that seemed to be spinning all around her.

When they arrived back at her home, Taryn jumped out of the car as fast as she could, welcoming the evening chill to cool her heated skin and raging thoughts.

Christian followed her to the door, and Taryn cursed herself for being so edgy that she hadn”t thought to say her thank yous and goodbyes in the car, sending him on his way before she embarrassed herself.

She almost forgot to breathe when he engulfed her tiny hand in his own and steadied it enough so that she could finally manage to get the key into the lock.

Damn it all, what the hell must he think?

She could feel the heat of his body burning into her back as if there was no space between them at all, but she didn”t dare to look because she didn”t know what it might mean if she found it to be true.

Did it have to mean anything at all? Probably not.

She thought she felt a feather light stroke over the long length of her hair but knew damn well it was just wishful thinking.

Oh, God, oh God! She really had to get rid of him before she melted into a puddle at his feet.

Rushing into the house, Taryn dumped her purse and wrap and hurried into her miniscule kitchen, which was really no more than an alcove off the living area.

Fetching herself a glass of water, she gulped it down in a most unladylike manner, almost spilling it when Christian appeared right behind her. That sent her into a paroxysm of coughing and sputtering.

”Hey, hey,” Christian crooned, patting her gently on the back and taking the glass from her nerveless fingers.

Recovering herself, she wiped the back of her hand across her mouth and turned to face him.

”Sorry, I was just, umm…I was feeling…ah, feeling…”

She trailed off, and her eyes widened as Christian put a finger to her lips and whispered, ”Shh! It”s okay. I can feel it, too.”

He could? It wasn”t just her overactive imagination fantasising on things that weren”t there?

Her mouth was still open slightly and the feel of his finger still settled against her mouth seemed to burn in the most delicious way.

Then he moved that finger and the rest of his hand into her hair, and Taryn was lost.

Her brain barely registered the fact that his beautiful face was coming nearer to hers, she was so mesmerised by his closeness. And when those lush, full lips found hers, she forgot to breathe completely.

The kiss was gentle and tender, and Taryn might have been embarrassed if she’d realised that the long, breathy moan that echoed around them was hers.

Christian”s free arm snaked around her waist and pulled her close. Taryn thought she might spontaneously combust when her brain acknowledged the heat of his leanly muscled frame and the hard evidence of his arousal pressing against her stomach where he had pulled her onto her tiptoes to make up for the height difference.

The kiss turned passionate and incendiary. Christian tightened his hand in her hair and kept her head immobilised while he devoured her mouth, his tongue plundering and demanding.

Conquering.

He bit at her lips, then soothed with his tongue. He nipped at her jaw and again behind her ear before finding his way back to her mouth and continuing his passionate onslaught.

He ground his pelvis into her softness, and Taryn whimpered, seeking to rub at the ache of her own desire in an effort to ease the need she felt.

She was ready to climb up and clamber all over him when he finally broke the kiss. ”Goddamn it, this isn”t right, Tara,” he groaned, his voice catching. ”I want you. And God knows, I really need somebody right now, but I don”t have anything to offer in the way of a relationship, because the truth is, I”m so wrung out from Dad”s death, there”s nothing left to give.”

He heaved a tortured sigh and started to disentangle himself from her. ”I”m sorry, I shouldn”t be taking advantage of you like this. I just want to feel close to someone physically. I need to remember that I”m still alive, but that”s no excuse for mauling you like I”ve turned into some kind of rabid animal.”

He sucked in a shuddering breath. ”Forgive me, Tara, I shouldn”t have done this to you. I”ll let myself out and go find someone who knows the score. I hope I haven”t ruined your birthday for you,” he finished soberly, his forehead pressed against her own and his eyes squeezed tightly shut.

Taryn wasn”t sure which emotion hit her the hardest. The fact that he’d come so close to making all her lustful fantasies come true. The fact that he wanted no-strings sex without any kind of relationship. Or the fact that he was about to go out and find someone else to sate those heartfelt needs.

She even overlooked the fact that he continued to call her Tara.

Ultimately, it was the thought of Christian with another woman that spurned her into making a choice that would end up having repercussions on her life for many years to come.

The idea of him losing himself in another woman”s body, even if it was just a temporary interlude of meaningless sex, had the green-eyed monster inside of her rearing its ugly head and messing with her brain so much that she couldn”t see past it.

”The only thing that will ruin this birthday is if you walk out of that door after twisting me up like that, only to leave me hanging,” she panted.

He looked like he might argue, but Taryn ploughed on, ”I know what”s going on in your life better than anybody else on this earth. I know exactly what you”re having to deal with, both on a business and on a personal level. I understand all of the restrictions on your time and all of the constraints on your allegiances, and I have first-hand knowledge of the entire depth of your commitments. I already live with them, Christian. I”ve lived with them for over a year, and I”ve been your escort for the past nine months because I understand all of those reasons. You”re my closest friend, and anything that is within my power to grant, I will do for you. If that includes being a warm body in your bed so you can lose yourself for a little while, then I”ll do that, too.”

Christian was quiet for the longest time, and the silence was becoming so drawn out it was getting awkward.

Finally, Taryn took a step away from him and tried to surreptitiously blink away the tears that were starting to prickle behind her eyes.

”I guess it”s my turn to apologise now,” she said stiffly, turning toward the front door to open it for him. ”I didn”t mean to overstep the mark.”

The words faltered, and she cleared her throat when they came out as more of a croak, ”I hope this won”t affect our friendship.”

But it would, wouldn”t it? How could it not?

Taryn had just reached out to turn the door handle when there was a flurry of movement behind her, and in the next second, she was whirled around so fast her head spun and Christian had her pinned against the smooth wood of the door, his hard body pressing into hers and his breath hot in her ear.

”You need to be sure about that, Taryn. Because if we do this, there”s no turning back, and I”m just selfish and desperate enough, right now, to take that gift and keep it, and use it over and over again. Not just tonight, but tomorrow night, and next week, and next month. This won”t just be a one-night thing, sweetheart.”

Taryn”s heart almost beat out of her chest as he offered as close to what she wanted as she was ever going to get…for now at least.

The fact that he wanted more than a one-night stand had her heart and her hopes soaring.

It was a start. Maybe not ideal, but enough for now.

His pain would heal in time, and his mother would become less clingy and dependent. The company business would be less demanding once everything settled down, and Christian would gradually get his life back.

She could be patient, and she was already prepared to wait.

She”d been waiting all this time, after all, with much less to show for it than a physical relationship.

Being a virgin, she wanted her first time to be with someone she loved. She didn”t think she would ever love anyone except Christian.

And he’d remembered to call her Taryn.

Of all the cautions and concerns he had warned her of, that was what she took away with her. That was what stuck in her mind, because it must surely be a sign.

”I”ve never been more certain of anything in my life,” she whispered against his lips.