Chapter 6
I woke to the early morning chorus of birds chirping away without a care in the world. How peaceful it seemed here in the half-light. Not a single thought of work or stress ran through my mind as I stared upon Sam’s peacefully resting form in the chair pulled close to the bedside. A small grin spread across my face. Maybe my instincts had been right for once, I thought as I let my eyes indulge in his masculine beauty. His eyelids twitched restlessly. He had the onset of crow’s feet stretching his eyes. Kind eyes, I thought as they blinked open, the mist of dreams clearing from them.
I smiled as he wiped a hand over his face. “You’re awake. How are you feeling?” I looked into his hand, taking the offered tablet.
“Thank you for looking after me. I’m feeling better, just a little lightheaded.” I smiled softly, my stomach growling and betraying me, bringing a blush to my cheeks. He chuckled lightly.
“It seems I’ve neglected to feed you. You must be hungry. You have battled this fever for two nights now, waking only long enough for medicines and water. I bet you're starving.”
I couldn’t help the deepening blush on my cheeks as he stood before me, a fairy tale knight in shining armour to my damsel in distress.
“Oh eww,” I remark. I was still in my pant suit. He blushed and turned away.
“There’s a shower through that door if you want to freshen up. I’ll find you something to wear.”
“Mm, thank you.” My head twirled like a newly spun top, and I struggled to sit still. I gave him my best placating smile before he could ask how I felt and watched him leave the eclectic room. I wobbled, my very bones ached, my pallor was pale and skin clammy as I looked at my reflection in the wardrobe mirror and stumbled to the bathroom on jelly legs.
Washing seemed to take forever, the sweat thick on my blanched skin. I really overdid it. I hope Mr Wallace was not too upset that I didn’t make it into work today. Wait, Sam said I was out two days that meant today was Monday. Oh God, I had so much to do . I spun around, a sudden injection of adrenaline pumping through my veins as I snatched up the oversized jumper and pulled the belt as tight as it would go on the jeans Sam had left me. I couldn’t look in the mirror as I crossed the room. I was bound to look like some vagabond or child playing dress up in their daddy’s clothes and I didn’t need that embarrassment on top of my make-up being non-existent and knowing he had nursed me the last few nights.
“You look cute.” He grinned, sending a deep blush pulsing like a beacon through my cheeks. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach launch into flight, drawn to the light of his soul like I was.
You don’t need it right now. He took my arm, his touch burning an imprint of his kindness I would never forget. A touch like my parents had given me when I was a child, one of promise. The steady fondness of protection and lo…
I flinch, pulling away, my eyes widening. I’m unprepared for this. I’m not, I thought, my inner turmoil freezing me on the spot.
“It’s all right. Your laptop is over there and I have already called Mr Wallace and explained you are unwell. It’s all sorted, you do not need to worry, just rest.” He stepped tentatively closer like a farmer herding a frightened sheep.
“I…”
“It’s alright. Let me help you back to bed. I’ve brought you some soup and bread. The doctor said you should take it easy for a few days.” I stumbled to the bed on my own. My heart felt like a wrung out sponge at the sight of pain etched on his face as he retracted his offered hand.
He knelt, pulling my hands into his as I looked down into his doe brown eyes. His caramel skin looked pale as he smiled sadly, the twinkle I so lo- admired, missing from his beautiful eyes. “It’s all right, Frigga. You don’t need to be afraid, this connection we have… It doesn’t have to be anything more than two colleagues who are good friends.”
I slipped my hands free. “Don’t get me wrong I - I like you it’s just…”
He sighed deeply.“You’re too young for me. I understand. I’m not pushing anything. I just want to be there for you. I just wanted to help.” He stood. “I’ll let you eat in peace and bring the car around. I’ll take you home when you're done.” He nodded slightly and left the room with a bitter click of the door sliding into place.
The butterflies in my stomach fell dead, eaten by the acid inside. My soul seemed to dim at the same time as the adrenaline in my veins abated.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered to the closed door, a single tear falling from my eye. Why can't I just be a normal woman? Why can't I just accept his attention? It’s not like he cared if it went further or not he just wanted to help me, to be close to me, to lo- No no! That is not possible, if I let anyone love me again I'll lose all control of my life. I can’t live like that. I can’t live with another HIM!
Knock .
The door slid open. “Are you ready? Frigga, you have not touched your soup,” he scolded, softening his voice at my wince.
“I’m not hungry,” I sniff.
“You are, come on. Let me help you.” He held the spoon to my mouth. “Trust me.”
“That’s the hard part.”
He grinned sadly.
“You can do it if you really try. I won’t let you down. Now, eat. Then I'll take you home where you can be more comfortable, okay?” I nod.
“Thank you, Sam.” I grip his hand. “For being so understanding - so kind.”
“We all have our scars, Frigga. Some are more visible than others. It’s what makes us unique. Strong.” I nod but I still can’t get my head around it. I finished the soup with his help, supping the liquid off the spoon, our eyes connecting for milliseconds at a time that seemed to span more than the length of the Sahara after my admission of wanting to go home.
Grabbing my laptop and meds, he bundled me into his car, his hands soft but firm as he belted me in against my protests at my capability. Without a word, he drove me home, his usual light demeanour dark and thunderous as the space between us seemed to stretch beyond comparable distance.
I could feel an itch under my skin. One that fed only to the emptiness my soul seemed to admit without the jovialities of Sam’s voice chuntering in my ears about Norse this and Norse that. “Sam, please speak to me,” I sniff a little emotionally from my ordeal.
“I, uh, I don’t really feel in the mood for light-hearted conversation right now,” he droned.
“Because of me,” I whispered
He glanced at me with a tight nod of his head. I touched his knee.
“I didn't mean to offend you, I just…”
“It’s fine.” He nuzzled my hand away. After a quick ride, we pulled up to my building. He got out and opened the door, helping me to my feet.
“I'll see you in.” I didn’t argue as in one arm he took my things and in the other he helped me to my aunt’s flat. I fished around for the key and opened the door. “Thank you.”
“You’re sure you’ll be okay?”
“I'll be fine,” I monotone my soul feeling broken.
“I’ll check in on you after work.”
“No, there’s no need.” I smile reassuringly, but the colour of his eyes just seems to dim.
“As you wish. Look after yourself, Frigga.”
“You too,” I call as he shuts the door behind himself and I fumble to turn the lock before collapsing onto the sofa, exhausted.