From Best To Bested

Chapter Twenty-Two

Roman sat inside the champion’s suite alone, unsure what to do with his restored title. It wouldn’t last. It couldn’t. Sure, the crowd cheered for Ezra’s downfall, but they’d soon want to see Roman’s defeat once again. He wasn’t the man he was before, and too many inmates believed he wasn’t worthy of such a title, such respect.

It didn’t bother him as much as it should’ve. Things like this, watching his back and fearing for inevitable outcomes, used to haunt his every waking moment. Now, Roman felt like he could breathe again. Ezra was gone. Gone for good.

Roman lay down in his bed and closed his eyes without worry for the first time in a long time. The next few days were a blur of events. Roman found himself lost in sleep most days, finally getting restorative rest instead of the bare minimum to simply survive. When his energy did return, he used it to wash away the pink in his hair, to work out the muscles he’d neglected for far too long, and to dream about the possibility of maybe better days ahead.

Levi had been released from the infirmary and announced they were once again bunking together. He walked into the cell, bruised and face covered in bandages, but he smiled the entire time, unwilling to let what happened take away his joy. Roman winced at the limp Levi had, worried it wouldn’t heal properly, especially not here.

“Oh, you’re cool with me being on top?” Levi joked, nodding to the empty bunk.

Roman rolled his eyes. Then he smiled just a tiny bit. It was crass and absurd, and if anyone else had made the joke, Roman would’ve recoiled, reminded of everything he didn’t want to dwell on. But having Levi give him a carefree grin set Roman at ease. They wouldn’t be who they were before, but Roman couldn’t wait to explore their friendship, find out their new dynamic, and survive together.

No. More than survive. Roman wouldn’t settle for that any longer. He wanted to be happy, to be truly happy. To live and look forward to life.

“See, I knew my jokes were comedian-level gold.” Levi waggled his finger at Roman’s smiling face.

Without a second of hesitation or a chance to regret it, Roman swooped in close and kissed Levi. It wasn’t incredibly intimate, and even though part of him wanted to run his hands over Levi’s broad chest, he settled for the taste of Levi’s lips. Brief and fleeting and enough to make Roman happy.

“What was that?”

“Nothing,” Roman said, unsure what he really wanted. “I don’t know what we are. What we’ll be. What I want.”

“That’s okay.”

“I don’t want that.” Roman gestured to Levi’s body, to his everything. “But maybe. Maybe later. A lot later. I don’t know, and I do know it’s not fair to make you figure it out with me—”

“I am completely fine with waiting and wondering,” Levi said, tilting his head but not leaning in, not invading Roman’s space, and that was a comfort he’d completely forgotten about. “I am fine following this journey wherever it goes. If it was just one little kiss, that’s cool. I’m pretty damn kissable, so really, everyone has to try my lips out at least once.”

“I’ve been told the same.” Roman snorted. “Well, not for my kisses.”

Levi’s entire face went rigid like the words Roman had spoken tore a hole in the floor. Then, without missing a beat, he burst into laughter and mimed himself handing over his comedy crown.

“Seriously, dude. Trauma jokes are all yours.”

The pair turned the champion’s suite into something livable again. Roman couldn’t forget all the horrible things he’d done, everything he’d survived in this space, but he also remembered all the silly things he and Levi would do to pass the long hours. And he cherished the new memories Levi helped him build each day, helping wash away the unwanted thoughts and the nightmares piece by tiny piece.

After Ezra’s defeat, the arena was closed while the warden dealt with the incident. Ezra hadn’t died, but he hadn’t woken up either. Roman hated himself a little bit, but he hoped Ezra never woke up. He didn’t think he could face him again and wasn’t sure how long this spark of courage and strength would last.

Levi made it bearable standing on his own two feet again, always acting as a buffer when they left their cell, always ready to provide a carefree distraction, always there to shake away the nightmares that would hit Roman at any given moment for any given reason.

When the time came to return to the arena, Roman wouldn’t. He could. He could force himself to fight down there the same way he’d forced himself to submit to Ezra, the same way he’d forced himself to do everything he’d done since the day he arrived at Marlow Penitentiary. But he didn’t want to swallow his nerves and do what had to be done to survive.

Levi accepted that and never brought it up again. There was only one match-up after Roman surrendered his title unceremoniously by refusing to show. Unfortunately, a fire broke out on the balcony above, taking out several members of the Lawless Authority, and the underground arena had been exposed to the world.

Marlow Penitentiary had the nation’s eyes locked onto their facility when the news got out, and the warden had far too many questions to deal with that he never had the chance to taunt or scold or threaten Roman for refusing to return.

The champion was done. The title burned to ash. The arena left barren.

“Did you…” Roman quirked a brow, never officially asking Levi the question, but certain of the answer.

Levi had a cigarette the evening the arena caught fire. For a man who didn’t care for cigarettes or vices of any kind since beating his own addictions, Roman had seen him with a smoke twice in his life. Both times after Marlow Penitentiary caught fire.

Warden Sadler didn’t last long as the head of this prison. Too many questions. Too many scandals. Too many deaths. He was put on administrative leave and given a chance to fade away without his pension. Warden Sadler returned to Marlow Penitentiary one time and went to retrieve his things, twenty-seven years of service summed up in a few trophies and one box, but the news of his final farewell spread almost as quickly as the fires Levi may or may not have set.

After a tumble down a flight of stairs, Warden Sadler was rushed to the hospital but declared dead by the time EMTs got him out of the parking lot. It wasn’t the fall that’d done him in, but the way he fell onto one of the trophies. The sharp glass edge impaled his neck during the fall.

“Did you, you know?” Roman mimed stabbing himself in the neck multiple times until Levi caught the not-so-subtle hint.

“Seriously?”

“What?” Roman shrugged. “It wouldn’t be the first time.”

“You stab one person one time—”

“Forty-eight times,” Roman corrected.

“One person in one instance, and suddenly every mishap with gravity is blamed on you.” Levi dramatically threw his hands up in defeat and then slapped his thighs.

Roman squinted, a playfully suspicious expression that he finally broke with a tiny smile. One that grew so much bigger when Levi tickled him. Levi didn’t often engage contact first, but when he did, it never went further than a handhold, a pinky touch, a tickle above the waist and outside the clothing, and that made Roman crave those tiny embraces a little more each day.

He didn’t know if Levi really had done something to Warden Sadler—how could he pull it off to begin with—or if it really was just a terrible accident. More importantly, Roman wasn’t sure which he wanted it to be. If Levi would go to such lengths for Roman and Roman fantasized about the possibilities, what did that say about him? What did it say about either of them?

Roman mostly ignored those thoughts and focused on Levi’s sweet smiles, his carefree nature, and his genuine kindness. Even if there was darkness in Levi, it wasn’t the same as Ezra’s. Roman never once saw hate or malice or disgust in Levi’s eyes. Not for him and not for anyone they crossed paths with, and Roman paid very close attention. He’d learned to study every shift in the person who he trusted most. Ezra had taught him that lesson along with so many more he hoped would fade over time.

Inmates started being transferred from Marlow Penitentiary until the alleged allegations of corruption could be investigated. Roman panicked. He didn’t care about starting over, about the new obstacles, the new dangers. He’d done all that before and suspected he’d continue facing challenges for the rest of his life. But he couldn’t imagine being transferred somewhere without Levi. Not yet, anyway. He still needed his friend, still needed the light and hope and happiness he brought into Roman’s life. The gentle patience and unyielding willingness to settle for just a friendly hug or touch when the rare occasion hit Roman.

Thankfully, Roman and Levi were shipped further upstate together, along with a few dozen other familiar faces. It was a real opportunity for change. Unfortunately, some inmates still remembered Roman’s very public fall from grace and the things he subjected himself to just to survive. It wouldn’t take long for the men at Kleinfield Prison Complex to see how easy and breakable Roman would be there.

After two chatty inmates had very bloody accidents, everyone else who knew Roman during his stay at Marlow Penitentiary suddenly had difficulty recalling what and how they knew him. This made it easier for Roman and Levi to slip by unnoticed. Kleinfield Prison Complex didn’t carry nearly as much animosity between their inmates, and Roman actually managed to carve out a bit of his old self during his time there.

He didn’t feel sane, and he wasn’t sure he ever would again, but he did feel safe. It’d taken years of quiet recovery and talking with the therapists at Kleinfield—occasionally talking. There was so much Roman never wanted to unpack, and he still found himself wary about trusting staff. No matter how polite and sincere, Roman spent several years waiting for the secret horrors of Kleinfield Prison Complex to be revealed. There were none. The facility was far from great, and there were some definite scumbags on the payroll, but overall, this place didn’t make every waking moment miserable.

With Levi’s parole fast approaching, Roman didn’t worry about the year-and-a-half time difference; he didn’t dread the days he’d have to stand alone. Levi had been preparing Roman for this since their last days at Marlow before the fire. Only Roman hadn’t noticed it then. He’d only actually noticed it a few days ago if he were being true with himself. And he was. He’d learned to be honest with himself and his feelings and his thoughts and his desires.

Most of all, he wanted to be honest about those things with Levi.

“Hey, hey,” Levi said when Roman returned to their room. “I made a schedule for when would be good for visits, but like, then I realized that only took meetings with my PO into account. I forgot I actually have to work and stuff. I’m thinking we need more calls set up just in case.”

Roman plopped onto the bed next to Levi with such force, Levi bounced a little. When Levi gained his bearings, his glasses were askew just a hair. Roman leaned in to adjust them and went a bit further for a kiss. Levi didn’t speak, he didn’t move, he just savored the taste of Roman’s lips while Roman worked his tongue into Levi’s mouth.

“I think someone is gonna miss me and the cuddles.” Levi rocked away and then shoulder-bumped Roman.

It was something the pair had fallen into naturally over the years, something Roman wanted to be absolutely certain about before pursuing, something he desperately wanted to take a step further before Levi left.

“I’m ready,” Roman said, which left Levi slack-jawed.

Roman knew Levi never expected those words. After everything that happened, after how Roman kept shutting down, after how Roman would advance and make moves and then ignore Levi for weeks at a time. Roman didn’t expect Levi to believe him, to understand, but Roman had to try.

“Are you absolutely sure?”

“Yes.” Roman kissed Levi. It was passionate and beautiful, and Roman straddled Levi in the process, letting the two become entwined by their lips, tongues, and bodies. Roman wanted to feel all of Levi.

“It’s just…you need to know I’m not pressuring you for something,” Levi interrupted the kissing, trying to speak as Roman continued planting his lips over Levi. “And like, maybe you think, ‘Levi’s leaving, I better hop on his dick,’ but, like, so not the case.”

Roman slapped his hands over the sides of Levi’s face and locked their eyes on each other. “You talk way too much.”

“I just don’t want you regretting choices or making choices or choosing to—”

Before Levi could speak more, before he could politely protest since he’d experienced Roman teeter at this stage before, Roman slipped off the bed. He jerked Levi’s pants down to his knees as he moved. By the time Roman had positioned himself on the floor, Levi’s dick had flopped out, fully erect, and he froze at the sight.

“You don’t have to do anything,” Levi wheezed, biting back his arousal. Roman could taste the heat of his desire. “I’m fine. Kissing is fucking epic. Or cuddling. Or just chilling. Literally zero expecta—”

“Shut the fuck up, dude.” Roman mashed his lips against Levi’s, stealing his voice and some of the fiery desire in his lungs.

Roman hadn’t meant to pause so long, to stall, but Levi was bigger than he realized and ready to go almost immediately. Not as long as Ezra but thicker and closer to Roman’s length. He just needed a few seconds to collect himself. He just needed a few more kisses to get there. He just needed to know he really, really wanted this.

And when a wispy moan of excitement escaped Levi’s lips as Roman’s leg brushed Levi’s cock, Roman knew he needed this. He knew he wanted Levi in every way possible.

Without second-guessing, Roman kissed a trail down Levi’s chest and wrapped his lips around the head of Levi’s cock. With a hand to stroke and lube and help Roman adjust, he bobbed up and down until he swallowed the length of Levi.

It’d been so long since Roman had held another man’s cock in his mouth, he’d forgotten the work involved, the strain on his jaw, the difficulty it took to breathe in, but when Levi noticed the struggle in Roman’s efforts and went to pull Roman back, it only further encouraged him. Roman wrapped his hands over Levi’s and leveraged the grip to instruct his partner to push down. Levi obeyed, and Roman took in the entirety of Levi, holding him in his mouth while his hands caressed Levi’s abdomen.

Levi bucked, and Roman steadied himself, bracing and encouraging a faster pace. He wanted this. He wanted Levi. Every groan and growl satisfied Roman. Every time Levi begged without words, it drove Roman further. Every time Levi held himself back, stifling a primal need that consumed Roman in equal measure, it made Roman work harder at pleasing Levi.

Finally, unable to stop himself, Roman sprang up and kissed Levi again, pulling his own pants down off his hips and sitting on Levi’s cock.

“Wait, wait, wait.” Levi tried to push Roman off him while simultaneously trying to push into him.

“I want this.” Roman could barely breathe between kisses, trying to adjust Levi’s cock, and take it into him. “I want you. I want us. I—”

“I want lube.” Levi snickered between kisses, rolling on his side and dropping Roman on the bed before scrambling through his bags to find the small packets he’d gotten when visiting the clinic in what Roman thought seemed a million years ago.

By the time Levi had returned, Roman had properly stripped off his clothes and went to work fully undressing Levi before shoving him back onto the bed in an attempt to straddle him.

“Not so fast.” Levi grabbed Roman’s waist, lifting him off like a small doll and dropping him beside him. “Roll over.”

Roman gulped. He wanted this. He wanted every part of this. But he didn’t want to be beneath Levi, didn’t want the weight of his body, the complete surrender. Roman worried he’d never be ready for such things, but he didn’t want to stop because of misplaced anxiety, so he obediently rolled onto his stomach and hoped the nervous flutter stopped.

“Before we do anything involving penetration, I wanna get you comfortable.” Levi gently kissed the small of Roman’s back, again and again, as he palmed Roman’s cheeks. “Is that okay with you?”

Roman nodded.

“Is it okay with you, Roman?”

“Yes,” he whispered.

Levi continued working soft kisses along Roman’s ass as he squeezed and spread his cheeks. He licked the length of Roman’s crack, which sent a tingle of arousal coursing through him, but when Levi’s mouth moved closer to Roman’s hole, he quivered. Levi continued teasing Roman while also preparing him for what came next. When Levi’s tongue reached out and licked him, Roman almost melted into the stiff mattress. He’d never felt something so intoxicating, never been the one to be rimmed. Levi’s tongue moved with sophisticated purpose, gentle and tame, which elicited a warmth of pleasure throughout Roman’s body, then rapid and lethal, only in the best sort of way, the way that made Roman moan and lose himself in the sensation of Levi’s mouth.

When Levi stuck a lubed finger into Roman, he hadn’t even noticed. It’d only been the nip of Levi’s teeth on Roman’s ass that alerted him. His mouth wasn’t done working over Roman’s hole, though. He returned, giving Roman a tongue bath which simply erased everything. Roman floated in his cell, unaware of his bed, unaware of his body, unaware of anything except for the way Levi lapped at Roman with his tongue.

“Fuck,” Roman gasped, delirious on the ecstasy.

The more Levi used his fingers, the more he poked his tongue deeper inside Roman, the more Roman craved to take this carnal satisfaction to the next stage.

“Stop.” Roman barely had time to turn over before he noticed Levi scoot to the opposite end of the bed.

There was no friction in his expression, no frustration at being called off, or confusion on why they’d suddenly stopped. Levi didn’t need clarification. Roman knew that Levi only needed one thing from Roman: his comfort.

Roman’s look of arousal did spark curiosity in Levi, body ready to move, but Roman could see Levi hold himself in check, awaiting consent.

“Get over here.”

As Levi returned, prepared to continue eating Roman’s ass, he found himself pushed back onto the bed and pinned by Roman. It was an adorable look of shock, which Roman savored as he quickly straddled Levi’s hips, allowing the man to lube his dick before gently applying some more to Roman’s hole.

“You’re sure?” Levi’s arms held Roman’s waist.

“Yes,” Roman growled, leaning forward and biting Levi’s neck with a kiss and a pull and a hunger.

When Levi thrusted into Roman, he froze. It took a bit to get used to; it took a second to remember he wanted this; it took a few deep breaths to remind himself he was okay. But then Levi paused, and Roman kissed him again.

“Keep going.”

And so Levi did, thrusting upward into Roman as he leaned back and gripped the underside of the top bunk. He closed his eyes and braced himself for each stroke Levi took. He focused on the pleasure he felt, on Levi’s erratic and excited breathing, on how Levi gently caressed Roman’s body with each stroke, on all the ways he’d reclaimed pieces of himself, and how he’d reclaim this piece too.

Roman pulled Levi closer to him, doing more of the work so Levi could sit up and leverage himself onto Roman. Levi wrapped his arms around Roman’s body, softest of touches until Roman squeezed Levi’s shoulders. Levi followed the unspoken instruction, the guidance, the permission to tighten his hold as he bucked upward. Roman muffled his shouts into Levi’s mouth, kissing him with enough force to nearly knock the man onto his back again, but they clung to each other, bodies entwined and lips linked. Roman moved faster, throbbing.

“Fuck.” Roman gripped Levi’s broad shoulders, shoving him back onto the mattress and riding him.

It didn’t take long for Levi to shudder, to try to slow down, to ask Roman to wait, but Roman wanted to feel Levi finish, wanted to achieve this with him, wanted to—

“Uhhhhh,” Levi groaned before going still. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Sorry. Fuck, that was intense. Told you I needed to slow down. Damn. Fucking hell, I haven’t cum in a while, and fucking A, your A is amazing.”

Roman giggled, still hard as a rock and somehow so happy to see Levi happy.

“It’s all good.” Roman slid off him. “I did sort of surprise you with this. Spring it on you.”

“You literally jumped on my dick.” Levi laughed.

“Yeah.” Roman stood and stroked himself a few times, reimagining what he’d just experienced with Levi, replaying Levi’s expressions, rewinding the intimacy so he could properly time their shared climax. He wanted to cum with Levi, so at least he could imagine that much.

“What are you doing?” Levi broke his concentration. “Get that dick over here, boyfriend.”

“Didn’t realize we were on relationship terms.”

“If I let a dude fuck my ass, he’s definitely gotta be a boyfriend.”

Roman paused, watching Levi lube himself.

“What?” Levi gave the most nonchalant shrug in the world.

“It’s just…you’ve never…” Roman scrunched his face, knowing Levi’s preferred position. “And I don’t wanna make you do something you’re uncomfortable with. I’m fine just jerking.”

“I told you I haven’t done more, not that I wasn’t open to more,” Levi corrected. “I’ve made it very clear that for the right person, I’m definitely open to be opened.”

Roman chuckled. “Yeah, me too. Um, it’s just I haven’t done this. I mean, I’ve done this. I have fucked people. Women. Mostly. Um, men, too, but I wasn’t the one doing the…yeah. But I have done anal. Like a few times. Um, I just, um…it’s been a while. Like before prison, which is ironic, right?”

“Well, it’s been sort of nonexistent for me...you know.” Levi wiggled his eyebrows. “Wanna help change that?”

Roman had willed himself to stop craving such things. So much of his sexual desires had been lost and forgotten and surrendered in order to ensure he always pleased his partner.

“Let’s give it a whirl.” Levi tossed a lube packet at Roman.

“Yeah.” Roman swallowed hard and approached the bed. “I’ll go easy.”

Roman steadied himself between Levi’s spread legs, readying himself, and slowly moved closer until the head of his cock brushed up against the crack of Levi’s hole.

“I trust you.” Levi leaned forward as much as he could, waiting for Roman to fill the space.

Roman did. He leaned forward, pressing his head against Levi’s and swallowing the sound of his moan as he thrust into him. Each push sent waves of euphoric pleasure through Roman’s entire body. He couldn’t remember ever feeling like this in his entire life. He wondered if this was what love felt like, what trust felt like, what happiness felt like. Real happiness. God, he couldn’t fathom ever surrendering such a feeling.

Each time he slammed himself against Levi, he studied his friend’s breathing, he listened to the sounds of Levi’s grunts, he stroked Levi while he fucked him, hoping to get him off a second time.

“Whew, whew, whew.” Levi breathed heavily, struggling to take in all of Roman, so he did his best to ease up.

It helped him last longer, but it didn’t feel half as good as when he’d pushed all the way to the base inside Levi. Still, he focused on stroking Levi more, helping him find the pleasure of getting fucked, and limiting the pain to the best of his ability.

Roman wanted this to be a wonderful experience for Levi. He wanted his first time to be special, something Levi wouldn’t be ashamed to think back on, even if it was just with Roman in a dirty cell, on a cheap bed.

“You know I love you, right?” Levi looked up at him like he could read Roman’s mind, like there wasn’t a thing in the world Roman could hide, and that Levi would accept him for anything and everything.

Roman thrusted hard, allowing Levi to steady his quickly rhythmic strokes with a well-placed hand. Levi held a hand at Roman’s stomach, off to the side, and another pressed to Roman’s shoulder. It guided him, held his pace from overexerting inside Levi, and it allowed Roman to sink into Levi and let himself be consumed by the love Levi held for him.

“I love you, too.” Roman kissed Levi, staring into his glossy eyes, his questioning eyes. “I mean it. You’re the only person for me. You’re my everything. You saved me more than I could ever explain.”

Levi wrapped his hands at Roman’s hips and pulled him in tight with so much force and pleasure he erupted. Roman groaned, lost and delirious as Levi swept him into passionate kisses, swallowing the sound of Roman’s orgasm. He bucked a few times, unwilling to surrender the sensation of cumming in Levi. He collapsed atop Levi, both men sweaty and pleased and happy to have each other.

Roman hoped Levi would remember him when he got out. He hoped to relive this joy when released. He hoped more than anything to make a life for himself and Levi.

Roman had finally found his way back to himself and found someone to be himself with, and that made him wake up every day a little more excited than the last.