Chapter 21
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
HUNTER
I groan and roll over, realizing my mistake a second too late. I plant a palm on the rug just in time to keep my face from colliding with the floor instead, sighing and sitting up on the couch. I check the time on my phone.
Two thirty-seven a.m.
No missed calls.
This is Sean’s pattern, though. The first stumble has the quickest recovery. I probably won’t hear from him for another couple of weeks. Maybe even a month. But there’s always another fall after the first call, and knowing that’s coming feels like being followed around by a storm cloud.
I run my hands through my hair, wide-awake in the middle of the night. Stand, stretch, and then head toward the kitchen. Flick on the light above the kitchen sink and stare out the window for a good minute before heading into the bathroom. I piss, wash my hands, grimace at the dark circles under my eyes in the mirror, and then head back into the kitchen.
The fridge door is open, a pair of bare, smooth legs visible beneath the shiny silver.
I recognize the striped fuzzy socks.
“Hey.”
Eve stumbles back a step, straight into the kitchen island. The fridge door swings open, the handle hitting the stove with a low thud.
Wide eyes meet mine as she yanks a pair of headphones off. “ Shit . You scared me,” Eve says, lifting one hand and pressing her chest like she’s trying to physically slow her heart rate. “I thought the light got left on by accident.”
I clear my throat and force my eyes to stay on hers. No way is she wearing a bra under her T-shirt. “Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. It’s my fault for walking around wearing these.” She pulls her phone out of the waistband of her shorts and sets it on the island along with the headphones she had on. “I couldn’t sleep, so I started listening to the latest C is for Crime episode. It released at midnight.”
She’s walking around listening to a serial killer podcast in the middle of the night? No wonder she’s jumpy.
That also means… “They’re not all out yet?”
“Nope. They release weekly. Episode nine just came out.”
“Damnit. I’m already on episode eight.”
“Episode eight—you kept listening to it?” Eve sounds stunned.
“Yeah, I wanted to know how they caught him. Right now, my money’s on the postal worker guy. I’ve been listening to it on my runs this week.” I walk toward the fridge and glance inside. “What were you getting?”
“Huh?”
“In the fridge. What were you getting?”
“Oh. Uh, something to drink.” Eve’s standing close enough I can feel the warmth radiating from her body. Or maybe that’s just mine overheating, reacting to how close she is. Either way, it’s fucking distracting.
“Your options are water or blue Gatorade,” I tell her.
“What’s with all the blue Gatorade?”
“Ask Aidan. It’s his favorite flavor.”
Eve reaches past me to grab a bottle of water, her wrist grazing my bicep, and my cock immediately starts to harden. Perfect . Hiding a boner is really easy when you’re only wearing boxers.
My gaze snags on the green glob on the top shelf of the fridge. Since we couldn’t find any smaller cups, we decided to make the Jell-O shots in a square baking dish.
“You ever try it?”
Eve pauses in the middle of twisting the top off the water bottle. “What?”
“Jell-O. Did you ever try it?”
Her lips move, but nothing comes out. “I—you…” She coughs. “You remember?”
“’Course I do. You picked lime. Did you ever try it?”
Eve hesitates before shaking her head. “No.”
I grab the pan off the shelf. It barely wobbles. It’s set. “Wanna?”
“ Now ?”
I glance at the clock. Two forty-nine a.m. “It’s not even three. You know there are spring breakers in a nightclub doing tequila shots right now.”
Eve makes a face. “I’m off tequila for a while.”
I smirk. “We used vodka.”
“Okay.” She exhales. “Yeah, I’ll try it.”
“Yeah?”
“Gotta see what all the hype is about, right?”
I scrutinize the dish. Aidan and I didn’t discuss how we’d serve the shots. Usually they’re already portioned in little cups.
“Okay.” I grab a knife out of the drawer and rip a piece of paper towel in two.
Eve watches me cut two squares with an amused look on her face. One piece almost hits the counter during the transfer to the makeshift plate, but I manage to save it.
I pick one up, then gesture for Eve to do the same.
She does, still looking like she’s on the cusp of laughter. The wobbly squares do look ridiculous jiggling in our palms.
“Ready?” I ask.
“Yeah. Cheers.”
“To what?”
She tilts her head, studying me. “What?”
“What are we cheers-ing to? You’re supposed to say cheers to…something.”
Eve shrugs. “I don’t know. I always just say cheers. You pick.”
“All right.” I think for a few seconds. “Cheers to…fifth wheels.”
She laughs and nods. “To fifth wheels. Unnecessary but…”
“Decorative?” I suggest.
Eve laughs again before downing her shot.
I take mine too, scrutinizing Eve’s reaction closely. She chews furiously, nose scrunching a little before she swallows.
“What’d you think?” I ask.
“Taste wasn’t terrible. But consistency?” She makes a face. “Not my favorite.”
“Fair,” I tell her, pulling the plastic back over the pan.
Eve doesn’t move as I place it back in the fridge.
“I was thinking of going in the hot tub,” she says suddenly. “After I got a drink.”
And that’s not going to keep all my blood from heading south.
“Oh, yeah?” My voice does not sound normal at all . More like I sucked on a balloon recently.
I was still processing Eve’s revelation that she recalled our first conversation at the time, but I clearly remember her telling Aidan she didn’t pack a bathing suit. Meaning she’s intending to go in the hot tub without one.
She sips some water. “Yeah. Then I can add it to my fuck-it list.”
“Your what list?” I ask, immediately intrigued by the name.
The paper sleeve on the water bottle crinkles as she plays with it. “Last semester, I wrote this senior year bucket list. Stuff I wanted to do before the end of college. After I broke up with Ben, Harlow renamed it my fuck-it list. All those things you think fuck it before doing, you know?”
“Yeah. I know.” My tone has turned husky, because I’m thinking about all the fuck it things I’d like to do with—to—Eve.
“I’m trying to…I don’t know. Be braver, for myself. Be enough, on my own. I don’t need Ben to move to New York to move there myself. I don’t need my dad to come to graduation for it to be an accomplishment. I know that, but I’m trying to prove it. So whenever I do something that’s outside my comfort zone but I tried anyway, I cross it off my list. I added bowling.” A soft rip sounds, as she tears the paper sleeve off. “Thank you for that, by the way.”
“I didn’t do anything.”
“Yeah, you did,” she says softly.
I am so, so fucked, I realize. Fucked worse than I thought I was. It’s the same sudden jolt of shock as when I glanced back after paddling on the surfboard and realized how far from shore I was.
I’m no longer thinking about sliding my hands up Eve’s shirt or tugging her sleep shorts down.
I’m thinking about how Eve looked happier and more confident each time she picked up a bowling ball. And that I’d listen to Aidan deliberate between pretzels and potato chips for hours if it led to that outcome.
Eve drains the rest of her water bottle and tosses it in the recycling. “The hot tub is on, right?”
“Should be, but I’ll check.” I walk toward the door that leads to the patio, unlock it, and step outside. Hopefully some fresh air will clear my head. Calm down my cock.
It’s cool out, but the temperature feels much closer to spring than winter. Walking on the pavers is the worst part, since they’re chilled and hard against my bare feet. The cover is off, so it’s immediately obvious the tub is on. Steam curls into the air, creating a mist that hovers over the surface of the bubbling water. Jets are on too.
Soft steps alert me to Eve’s presence. She followed me out here.
“It’s on,” I state unnecessarily. She can see the steam too.
“I didn’t bring a bathing suit. I thought it’d be too cold to swim in the ocean and I didn’t know about the hot tub.”
I know doesn’t seem like the right response, so I ask, “Do you want to borrow my trunks?”
Eve laughs. The light, happy sound drifts away in the night air, dissipating the same way the rising steam is. “No, thanks. I just, um, if you wanted to go in too… Sorry. I’m making it weird. I’ve never had a guy friend. Not that I’m assuming we’re friends, but?—”
“We’re friends,” I interrupt.
Do I want more? Yes. But I’m not sure if Eve is ready for more. And I’d rather have her as a friend than revert to saying hi to her in passing once a month. I enjoy being around her. It’s never been only about attraction with Eve.
She smiles, and it’s one that has my stomach muscles clenching. Eve spins one finger. “Turn around.”
I raise an eyebrow.
Eve spins her finger more insistently.
I rotate so I’m facing shingles. She’s not seriously going to—the unmistakable rustle of fabric reaches my ears over the thud of my pounding heart.
Yeah, she is. She’s taking off her clothes and climbing in a hot tub while I’m standing ten feet away. Because we’re friends .
I’m friends with girls. Holt doesn’t have a women’s hockey team, but the women’s basketball team is often in the weight or cardio rooms before or after us. There are girls in my major or my classes who I’ll study with.
And none of those situations have given me any preparation for how to act now.
I can hear her padding across the pavers. Followed by a quiet slosh as water’s displaced.
“Okay. You can turn around.”
I clench my jaw before glancing over my shoulder.
Eve’s in the hot tub. From here, all I can see is her dark head bobbing. But the T-shirt and shorts she was wearing as pajamas are draped over the arm of one of the Adirondack chairs surrounding the fire pit we roasted marshmallows in last night.
I have two options. Tell Eve I’m tired and head inside, or stay out here and torture myself.
“Are you, uh, coming in?” she asks. Her voice is tentative, unsure of the answer.
Most people would call me reliable. I’m not sure Eve would. The first time we met, I left. She doesn’t know the why. Doesn’t know about Sean. And if we’re going to be friends , I want her to know I’m a friend who sticks around.
“Yeah. I’m coming in.”
I watch my reply register on Eve’s face. She bites her bottom lip, but it doesn’t entirely hide her smile.
“Someone has to protect you from serial killers,” I add.
She laughs again. A happy sound I’m quickly becoming addicted to.
I shuck my T-shirt off, dropping it on the same chair her clothes are draped on.
There are a couple of stairs on one side of the hot tub to make it easier to climb into. I bypass them, hoisting myself up the side opposite Eve and sinking into the water.
Damn. I kinda get what Phillips has been going on about. I’ve never been in a hot tub before, and it’s nice . Especially now, when everything around it is dark and still and quiet. The cool night air is the perfect contrast to the hot water, and the jets are massaging the knots in my shoulder. It’s still a little sore from surfing.
“Not bad, huh?” Eve asks.
“Not bad at all,” I agree, tilting my head back to study the sky.
Between the steam and the churning jets distorting the surface, I can’t see anything beneath the water. But yeah, that’s where I looked first. Focusing on the full moon seems safer.
“Sometimes I think about how the sky stays the same,” Eve comments.
I glance at her, and she’s mimicking my posture. Head back, eyes up. Her dark hair fans out around her shoulders.
“What do you mean?”
“Everyone who’s ever lived has existed beneath the same sun and the same moon. The sky stays the same, while the world around us changes. It’s weird to think about.”
“Art stays the same too,” I comment. “Once it’s created.”
Eve glances at me, and it feels like the invisible molecules in the air around us are shifting. Pulling us closer together.
“Yeah, it does,” she agrees. “Your stick figures are kicking around somewhere.”
I laugh, flicking my fingers against the water. “My parents’ attic, probably.”
Eve smiles, then tips her head back to stare at the sky again.
It’s peaceful, the only sound the bubbling jets, and, if I really focus, the distant roar of the ocean.
I let the silence stretch for a few minutes before I ask, “What else is on your fuck it list?”
“Not much,” she answers quickly. Too quickly.
“C’mon, Eve. Tell me one thing.”
She bites her bottom lip.
I wait, hoping she’ll trust me.
“I want to visit Paris one day. I’ve never left the country. I’d never even left Arizona until I was eighteen and came to Holt.”
“Where in Arizona did you grow up?” I ask.
“Chandler. It’s a suburb outside Phoenix.”
“You liked it?”
“Chandler? Yeah, it was nice.” She shrugs a shoulder, sending fresh ripples this way.
I think I catch a flash of a curve, and quickly lift my gaze. “You don’t sound sure.”
“I’m not. It’s home…and it’s also my least favorite place in the world.”
I wait, hoping she’ll continue.
A few seconds later, she does. “My mom got pregnant with me when she was sixteen. Her parents kicked her out, and my dad—my dad had no interest in being a dad. I think I would have left town. But my mom stayed. She got an apartment ten minutes away from the house she grew up in, went to cosmetology school, and started cutting hair. I grew up within walking distance of my grandparents’, but we never visited them and they never visited us. And I met my dad for the first time when I was in second grade. He came to my school for a fire safety demonstration—he’s a firefighter. I didn’t even know he was my dad at the time. I’ll never forget the expression on his face when he saw me. Like he’d seen a ghost. I look a lot like my mom.”
“Shit, Eve. That’s?—”
“Fucked up? Yeah, I know. The people who were supposed to support my mom abandoned her. Acted like she—like we —didn’t exist. It was brave of her, to make it hard for them by not disappearing the way they wanted her to. But it was confusing as a kid. Coming to Holt was the first time it felt like I had a fresh start.”
Something we have in common, I realize. And maybe an explanation for the immediate sense of connection I felt. That first night of college, most people were defining their new identity.
Eve and I were embracing the mystery.
“You have a relationship with your dad now?”
“Depends how you define relationship , I guess.” Her smile is brittle. Fragile, like a facade cracking around the edges. She sinks a couple of inches lower in the tub. “Where did you grow up?”
“Wyoming. The soy milk capital of the world.”
Eve laughs. “I owe you another thank-you for the carton in the fridge.”
“You don’t owe me anything, Eve.” My tone is a little too intense for the topic of soy milk, but I mean the words.
“Thank you, Hunter.”
I hold her gaze. “You’re welcome, Eve.”
She blinks first. “What’s Wyoming like?”
“It’s big. You leave town, and there’s all this empty land around. So much open space, it’s easy to forget how huge the rest of the world is. Nothing terribly exciting ever happened in Casper. The views of the mountains are pretty crazy. There are tons of trails for biking or running. Lots of fishing spots. We’d go snowmobiling in the winter. And the aquatic center next to the town rink had two waterslides, so we’d go down those after hockey practice in elementary school.”
It feels good to reminisce about those early years. Back when I was a kid whose only concern was whether his mom had remembered to get Jell-O at the store. Before my brother morphed into someone unrecognizable and altered our family forever. Sean twisted my perception of Casper, same as Eve’s dad and grandparents affected her feelings toward her hometown.
“Will you move back?” she asks.
I exhale. “I don’t know. I got into UW—University of Wyoming—so it’s an option. I’ve never had a place I pictured ending up after college, like you with New York. I just figured something would make sense when I got to this point, and it…it kinda snuck up on me, I guess.”
The same way the end of spring break did. Tomorrow’s Saturday—our last day here. Classes resume Monday, and April 15th will continue creeping closer.
“Time flies when it’s always raining,” Eve says.
I smile. “You sound like Hart.”
“I know. It drives Harlow crazy. She loves the rain. Water in any form, really.”
“They’re good together,” I state. “Harlow and Conor. I wasn’t sure at first, but they fit.”
Eve nods. “Yeah, they do. Weather preferences aside.”
I smile again. Or maybe I never stopped. “Speaking of couples, Harlow mentioned she heard I was dating Holly Johnson.”
Eve’s chewing on her lower lip again. “Oh, really?”
I almost laugh at the feigned casualness in her tone. Eve might be a talented artist, but she’s not a great actress. She’s obviously wondering whether Harlow named a source.
“Uh-huh.” I rub a hand along my jaw. My skin’s damp from the steam. “I went out with her once, that night I ran into you at La Bella Napoli. But I haven’t gone out with her again, and I’m not going to. I’m not dating her.”
“Good.”
I’m not sure who’s more surprised by Eve’s reply—her or me.
Her cheeks flush scarlet. “I wasn’t, um, I just meant, if you’re not going out with her because you don’t want to go out with her, then that’s…good.” Eve tilts her head back, her throat working furiously. “ Wow , those Jell-O shots were strong.”
I laugh, then reluctantly lift my arms out of the warm water. “I should head back to bed. Aidan was talking about leaving at seven.”
After some research on swells, Phillips decided our shitty surfing experience was because we went to the beach too late in the day. And somehow, he talked me and Hart into going again. Tomorrow’s our last chance.
“Be careful,” she says.
“Of sharks?”
“No. I mean, yes, I saw the same documentary with Harlow and they do mistake surfers for seals sometimes, but I was more meaning your…shoulder.”
“Oh. Right.” I forgot I mentioned it to her, and I’m taken aback that Eve remembered. “It’s not bothering me much anymore.”
She nods. “Good.”
I stand to climb out. The water level hits just below my waist. And Eve’s eyes do not stay on mine. They trail down, lower and lower, which is what I was hoping would happen. When she walked in on me in the shower, it was sudden and unexpected. I couldn’t get a good read on her reaction before she shut the door. But now, she’s looking deliberately at my soaked boxers. Looking like she likes what she sees.
“Good night, Eve.”
Her eyes dart up to meet mine, fresh color flooding her face. “Night, Hunter.”
I vault over the edge and walk to the chair, using my T-shirt as a temporary towel to dry off a little before I head inside.
I glance back at Eve once, when I reach the door. She’s in the same spot, staring up at the sky that doesn’t change.
Tonight, it felt like we did.
And I hope we’ll keep changing.