From Nowhere (Wildfire #2)

Chapter Thirty-Five

After five hours of staring at shadows on my ceiling, I get a text. It’s just after three in the morning.

Taylor: Maren’s alive

He starts with the good part, and I take my first full breath since Ira called me last night.

Taylor: She’s been transported to the nearest level 1 trauma center

Taylor: She’s in surgery. I’ll update you as soon as I can

I call him.

“Hey, it’s all I know for now,” he says.

“Did I work on that plane?”

“Yes, but it wasn’t—”

“Jesus. I worked on that plane. I worked. On. That. Fucking. Plane.”

“Oz—”

“Don’t say it. You don’t know yet. What if I missed something? What if she—” I choke on my words as emotion burns my eyes.

“One day at a time. Okay? It could be weeks or months before we know anything for sure. Today she’s alive. You are a damn good mechanic. Meticulous and thorough. Don’t take the blame for this. It’s way too soon. Okay?”

“Yeah,” I whisper.

“Get some sleep.”

I slide my phone onto my nightstand and curl into a ball on my side. She’s alive. Hundreds of miles from Missoula, but alive.

Eventually, I steal an hour of sleep before jumping into the shower. When I get upstairs, dressed for work and tired as fuck, Tia and Amos greet me from the kitchen table with matching melancholic expressions. I’m sure I look just as sad to them.

“You’re going to work?” Tia squints.

“Maren’s alive—for now. So yeah, I’m going to work because I need to stay busy, and the people there will get the most current updates on her condition.”

“Are you going to see her?” Tia asks.

I grunt, pouring coffee into my thermos. “She’s in Canada.”

“Is her family from here?” Suddenly, Tia seems interested in Maren, that woman , whose name she refused to say when she didn’t want me having anything to do with her.

“No. Nebraska. I’m sure they’re either there or on their way.” I take a sip of my coffee before screwing the lid onto the thermos.

She continues to prod. “Have you met them?”

“No. Nebraska is a ways away. I’m not sure biking there is a good idea.”

Tia frowns. “You know what I mean. They could visit her here.”

“I haven’t met them. Just her roommates and a few other friends. I gotta go so I can check on her cat before work.”

Amos finally breaks his silence. “When are you going to tell Lola about the accident?”

“When I’m ready.”

Tia frowns as I open the back door. “We’ll pray for her.”

I pause for a few seconds, judging her sincerity. But it doesn’t matter. I don’t have the emotional capacity to worry about her thoughts or opinions. “Thanks,” I mumble.

When I get to work, some of my coworkers offer sympathetic smiles. I’ve never tried to keep my relationship with Maren a secret, but I also don’t talk much about my personal life. Since the car accident, I’ve thrived on keeping to myself. But now I know Ira has been busy sharing my relationship status. Knowing her, these people are part of a prayer chain. She’s organized them for other people.

After stuffing my backpack into my locker, I bypass the break room and get to work. By midmorning, Taylor finds me.

“Maren’s out of surgery,” he says.

I climb down the ladder and wipe my forehead with my sleeve. “That’s good.”

“She’s in a coma on a ventilator.”

That’s not as good, but yesterday I assumed she was dead. “What happened?”

“I haven’t heard much. Of course, it’s under investigation, but it could take a while to come to any conclusions, especially if Maren’s in a coma and unable to give us any information. However, I’ve heard speculation that it might have just been extreme turbulence. Other pilots reported rotor-cloud activity. Maren had just finished her last drop. It will get sorted out eventually. She’s alive for now; we both know that’s pretty miraculous. So let’s focus on that.”

I nod several times.

Alive for now.

“When were you going to tell me about you two?” he asks.

“My wife died,” I say.

Taylor’s brow tightens. “Yeah, I know.”

“I have a daughter.”

He nods.

“She was in the car accident that killed my wife and my father. That was over two years ago. And my daughter still won’t get in a vehicle. And she doesn’t want me to be in one either. So I’m not the tree hugger you think I am. I’m just a guy with a daughter who is struggling. I’m a private person unless you ask me about my life. So that’s why you didn’t know about my relationship with Maren.”

Taylor continues to nod slowly. “Ozzy, I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry. I feel like an asshole for not knowing this.”

“Don’t. It’s fine,” I say.

“Well, we’re all concerned about Maren. Everyone at Cielo is family. I’ll let you know what I know when I get any updates. Henry, Cielo’s CEO, is headed to the hospital this morning to be with Maren and help her and her family in any way possible. If you need time off to go—” Taylor catches himself, pressing his lips together.

“I won’t be going anywhere to see her. It would be quite the journey on a bicycle.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispers.

“Oz, someone at the front office is asking for you,” Brady yells.

I nod and grab a rag to wipe my hands.

“If you just need time off to process—”

“I don’t,” I tell Taylor, brushing past him.

When I reach the main office, a dark-haired woman in a green-and-white floral sundress faces me. It’s Jamie. She draws in a shaky breath and finds a sad smile. “I didn’t know if you knew about Maren.”

I nod. She swallows hard and blinks away the tears welling in her eyes. “Fitz is in Canada, too, working the same fire. But he hasn’t been able to see her yet. Will and I have a flight there this afternoon, and her parents arrived this morning.” She hands me her phone. “Give me your number. I’ll keep you informed. And if you could continue looking after her place and cat, we’d be so grateful.”

I should be on that plane.

I’m angry and frustrated, but I don’t know who to blame.

Nobody, I suppose.

“Thank you,” I murmur, entering my contact information into Jamie’s phone.

“How’s Lola doing with the news?”

I shake my head. “I haven’t told her. I don’t know what to say. So until I truly know something concrete, I think it’s best not to say anything.”

Jamie takes her phone and slips it into her purse. “I think that’s smart. One day at a time. And today”—she glances up at me with red eyes—“our girl is alive.”

“Yeah,” I whisper.

Jamie steps forward and hugs me before she ducks her head, sniffles, and exits the office.

Hillary glances up from her desk. “We’re all praying for her.”

“Thank you.”

I make it through the day. Work has lots of lists and things to focus on, as long as no one says anything to me about Maren.

After aimlessly walking around the grocery store and grabbing random items, I head to Lola’s therapy appointment. Taylor texts me while I wait for her to finish.

Taylor: Maren’s having another surgery after some unexpected complications. We’ll know more later tonight. Hang in there

I set my phone on my thigh and rub my hands over my face.

“All done. Let’s get groceries,” Lola chirps on her way out of the office.

“I already picked up groceries. We can head straight home.” I hold the door open for her.

“Let’s go to Maren’s house. When will she be home?”

“We need to get the perishable items home. Maybe another night. How was therapy? Oh!” I stop. “I was going to talk to Victoria about VR.”

“I talked to her.” Lola climbs onto her bike and takes off without me.

“What did she say?” I follow her.

“She said she’d look into it, but I could try it if I have a VR, which I don’t.”

“I bet Amazon could have one here by tomorrow,” I say.

“She said I could be triggered by a game with cars crashing. I told her I knew the difference between real life and a game. She said that could be a reason VR might not work for me. But I think we should try it anyway because it sounds fun. Dakota will freak out because he’s been wanting a VR headset. Do you think he could come over and play it with me?”

“We’ll see.”

I follow Lola into the house with the two bags of groceries. Tia is chopping lettuce and tomatoes for a salad, and Amos is grilling on the deck.

Tia stills her hand on the knife and eyes me. “Any updates on Maren?” she asks after Lola’s on the deck with Amos.

“She’s in surgery again. There were complications.”

Tia frowns. “That’s too bad.”

“Yeah,” I mumble, putting away the groceries.

“I think you should tell Lola.”

I close the fridge. “Why?”

Tia shrugs, keeping her focus on the cutting board. “I’ve been thinking about it. And what if it could change everything?”

“What do you mean?”

“It could force her to let you get on a plane and fly to Canada. I don’t know what the outcome will be for your friend, but wouldn’t it be nice if something good could come from this?”

“I don’t know.”

Tia scrapes the pile of cut tomatoes into the salad bowl. “She’s going to find out. That’s just a fact. Either she’s going to hear the tragic news that Maren has died, or she’s going to hear that she was in an accident, but she’s going to live. Let her go through this. Let Lola feel the emotions while there’s still hope. She didn’t get hope when Brynn died.”

She’s not Lola’s therapist, but I can’t say that I disagree with her either.

After dinner, I join Lola in the backyard, where she’s playing both sides of the cornhole board.

“I have something important to tell you.” I pick up the red bags while she retrieves the blue ones.

“What?” She tosses one of the bags, and it slides into the hole.

“Maren’s in the hospital. In Canada.”

Lola spins to face me. “What happened? Is she sick?”

“She had to make an emergency landing in her plane, and she was injured.”

“Is she okay?”

“She’s in surgery right now. I’ll know more later.”

Lola’s shoulders sag. “Is she going to die?”

This is where I lie? Right? I tell her no. Right?

“I don’t know, Lola. I think her injuries are serious. But I’m sure they’re doing their best to fix her the way the doctors fixed you after your accident.”

“Will she have scars on her face like mine?”

Oh, baby girl ... “I don’t know.”

“When will she be home?”

I shrug. Lola frowns.

“I would like to go see her,” I say. Victoria told me to be direct with Lola as much as possible and to express my feelings so that Lola would feel free to express hers.

Lola blinks several times before shaking her head. “You can’t do that. She’ll be home. You’ll see her when she comes home.” The words and a heavy dose of panic fly out of her mouth.

I don’t jump in and save her, not yet.

“You’d have to be in a car. Mom died in a car. And then you’d have to be on a plane. Maren is in the hospital because of a plane. Why would you do that? No. Maren wouldn’t want you to risk your life to see her. She’ll be home. We just have to be patient. Maren is going to be okay.” She nods a half dozen times, wringing her dainty hands.

“What if she’s not?” I might be crossing a line, but I have to know. If Maren doesn’t make it, and I didn’t do everything I could to get to her, I would never forgive myself.

Lola’s blue eyes fill with tears, but she doesn’t do the grown-up thing of hiding them. With one blink, the big drops of emotion fall down her face.

“Lola.” I squat in front of her, taking her hands in mine. “If something happened to me at work, and I got hurt really badly, would you want the ambulance to take me to the hospital to save my life?”

She sniffles, blinking out a new round of tears. Her lack of an immediate answer shows me how underdeveloped her ten-year-old brain is, even if she’s smart for her age. Lola can’t reason this properly. My question shouldn’t require much thought, but it does for her.

“The answer is yes, Lola. Of course you’d want me to go to the hospital. The same way I’d want you to go to the hospital in an ambulance if you were hurt. And if I were at the hospital, and you knew there was a chance I could die, wouldn’t you want to come tell me goodbye?”

“I’d ride my bike.” She pulls her hands from mine and wipes her tears, but her lower lip quivers.

“What if you couldn’t? What if the hospital were too far away?”

“It ...” She shakes her head while tugging at her hair. “It doesn’t matter because it’s not real. Stop making me feel bad. You promised you would never make me feel bad. You promised you would never make me get into a car. And you promised you would never get into one either.”

“Lola, sometimes people have to break their promises.”

She releases her hair and balls her hands at her side. “No. You don’t have to break your promise. Maren’s coming home. She’s going to be f—”

“Lola, you don’t know that!”

Lola jumps, eyes wide and refilling with tears.

I sigh, turning my back to her and lacing my fingers behind my neck as she releases tiny sobs behind me. “Lola.” I turn back toward her, lowering my voice. “I love Maren. My feelings for her are like the feelings I had for your mom. It’s not the way I love you. Nothing can compare to how a parent loves their child, but my love for Maren is strong. My heart hurts so much right now. And I’m not saying any of this to make you feel guilty or to pressure you into being okay with me flying to Canada to see her. If you can’t handle this, if it’s too much, then I won’t go. And I’ll never make you feel bad about it, no matter what happens to Maren. But I have to be honest by telling you I want to go, or I’ll regret not having this conversation, not trying. And I’ve told you to live without regrets, so I must do the same.”

Tears cover her red cheeks, and that adorable lip won’t stop quivering. It’s all very heartbreaking.

“I-is it o-okay if you d-don’t go?” It’s not just her lip; her whole body is shaking. “She’ll b-be f-fine. I p-promise. If God w-wanted her now, H-He would have t-taken her.”

I lower to my knees and wrap her tightly in my embrace. The world is big, but my world fits perfectly in my arms. She always will.

“I’ll stay,” I whisper in her ear.