23. Asher
Asher
Jade was thin to begin with, but not eating anything and being comatose for three days has made her look sickly.
Jade is beautiful—she’ll always be beautiful in my eyes—but when she laughs, I can see her ribs poke from under her skin in a way that isn’t healthy.
I need to get food into her ASAP.
But I don’t want to break this up. It’s like we are finally in order again. She’s letting me in and showing me she trusts me. Hell, she even told me straight out that she does. I don’t want to leave this bubble we’re in. Not after being without her for that long; not knowing how she was, or if she’d ever let me see her again. I could barely sleep; stress and anxiety ate at me every fucking hour, every minute, every second.
Roxie’s check-ins did help, but not much. And when she walked in and said that she was starting to get really worried… I snapped. I decided right then and there that I was going to get Jade and do whatever it took to take care of her. Even if she didn’t want me to. I couldn’t just let her hurt…
Finding her like this shows me that she hurts far deeper and far stronger than she ever let me know. It was the surprise of the fucking century to learn the horrid pain she’s been going through is because of me and my fucked-up family.
I fucking wish I could take every single beat of pain she’s had away from her. Every hard moment, every pained thought, every tear, every agonizing breath. I would take everything from her in a moment so that she’d never have to feel a bad thing again.
Her sparkling green eyes look into mine, and there’s a flicker of relief that I can fully understand. I’m feeling it myself. I lean forward and wrap my arms around her shoulders, hugging her to me as tightly as I can while leaning over the ledge of the tub.
Jade pulls my shirt tighter, twisting her fingers in the cloth on my back and crushing me to her body. So much so that I lose my balance and fall into the cooling water.
“Fuck, I’m sorry,” I sputter as my face hits her naked collarbone and my body crashes onto hers. The water splashes around us and up over the side as we both shift. I’m trying to move so I don’t hurt her, and she’s moving to keep hold of me.
Once I figure out that she doesn’t want to let me go, I stop trying to give her space and hold her close. This tub isn’t big enough for both of us, but that doesn’t seem to bother her. She doesn’t let me go.
My arms wrap around her, flipping us over so she’s sitting in my lap and I’m holding her to my chest. Our hearts are beating together, holding each other as we heal.
I love it.
I love her.
“I love you,” I say softly in her ear, pushing as much emotion into my words as I can. I never want her to second-guess it again. “You are my world. My life. My future.”
Jade keeps her head against my chest but looks up at me through her dark eyelashes with a soft smile.
“I love you, too. More than I ever thought possible.”
And my fucking heart soars.
We’re going to be together for the rest of time. I know it.
I can see her walking down an aisle towards me in a plain white dress that makes her glow; I can see us sleeping in on Sunday’s, spending the whole day sleeping and wrapped together; welcoming a few adorable, chunky babies—more than I’m sure she wants, but fewer than I want—and working through the late nights and baby cries; slow dancing in the kitchen late at night; growing old together and being that quintessential ‘old married couple’ who argue about everything but I’ll continue to flirt with her every chance I get.
I can see it all.
And it’s everything I never knew I wanted, and everything I hoped for but never believed I deserved.
The jeans I’m in are heavy and the coolness of the water is becoming too much. For the first time, I let my eyes dip down to her breasts. Her nipples are hard, and goosebumps have broken out over her skin. It’s time to get out, get her warm and get her fed.
Without saying anything, I wrap my hands under and around her to step out of the tub. I’m dripping water everywhere, my jeans making the water pool around my feet as it seeps from the fabric. I don’t care about the mess—I’ll take care of it later—but I do care about the possibility of me slipping and unintentionally hurting Jade. She’s shivering from the cool air around us; from the blasting AC coming from the vents and the water left on her skin.
“Here, darlin’,” I say, grabbing a towel that’s hanging on the wall. I set her on her feet and towel her off.
“Thank you.” She smiles softly, looking up at me. Her hands are folded in front of her and the ends of her hair, wet from the bath, are sticking up all over. She’ll need to shower to actually get clean, but I’m happy to see the quick bath helped a little. She’s smiling again, smiling .
“Any time.” Returning her smile, I grab the ends of her hair and try to pat them dry. “Let’s get you dressed and something to eat.”
Jade smirks and her heated gaze locks on me.
“I don’t want to do that,” she says in a tone that… does something to me. She’s commanding and confident. Her voice is low, husky and full of want.
But the question is if I should do what she’s hinting at—and let’s be real, what I desperately want—after such a traumatic few days.
But on the other hand, maybe that’s what we need to heal from all this.
“Jade, baby…” I start to tell her no, I don’t want to take advantage of her, but before I can say anything, she lunges upward and kisses me roughly. All rational thought leaves my mind and I respond naturally, instinctually, without any delay. As she slides her hands around my neck and up into my hair, I moan and sink into her body. She’s warming up now, even though her skin is still cool to the touch.
“Let’s get you out of those wet clothes,” Jade says as she steps back. She pulls my shirt up and over my head, letting it fall on the ground with a wet splat. My hands are too busy feeling every inch of her back and ass to help. I jump slightly at her cold fingertips touching my lower abdomen while she pulls my button open and my zipper down.
Oh, how sexy is this confident woman. The way she’s rolling her toned body is suggestive and my cock bobs. She’s even sexier because she’s so confident in us right now.
“Wait, wait,” I protest breathlessly. I need to ask her; I need to actually talk to her about having sex before we just jump in. I can’t risk hurting or scaring her. “Baby girl, wait,” I repeat more firmly, pulling her hands from under my boxers as I take a deep breath to steady myself.
Fuck, I want her so badly.
Jade’s big eyes are staring up at me in a daze, cloudy with desire. Despite being cool before, her cheeks are rosy and her lips are swollen from the force of our kisses. Her chest is heaving with breath and want, her subtle skin soft and sweet. She’s certainly leaner than she has been, but I’ll fix that soon.
I wish I had my pencils with me. I wish I could freeze time to draw this moment so it never gets fuzzy with time in my memory. She’s stunning.
“Why?” She says in the whiny voice that pulls at my Daddy side.
“Because, baby girl,” I reply, cupping her cheek softly but strongly. “A lot of shit has gone down, and it’s important to me that you feel safe and you want this.”
“I do want this,” she says with a cute little pout.
“I want to know that if we do this, you won’t feel anything but happiness and satisfaction. No guilt, no anger, no sadness; no feeling like you have to push yourself to be intimate with me. Just the two of us, making love and taking care of each other.”
Jade lifts her arms and wraps around my neck lovingly.
“I want to do this, Asher, because I want us to celebrate being together. I want to feel your body on mine, knowing that you chose me. I want us to become one, knowing that we’re forever. I want us to make love because that’s what surrounds us. Love.”
I smile gently, my heart beating faster at her words, and nod.
“I love you,” I say and kiss her forehead.
“As I love you.” She bites her lip, and I can tell I’m in for it. “Now take me to bed, Daddy.”