Frozen Heat

2. Noah

The textbookon my lap was pissing me off. That I was still here for my third year, when I should have already been playing with the NHL team I’d signed with, pissed me off. I knew the year I broke my leg would bite me in the ass, and I was right. My phone on the table rang, and I was thankful for the distraction until I saw who it was—Gail, Jade’s mom. Sighing, I answered in the politest tone I could muster.

“Hey, Gail.”

“Noah, darling,” she trilled. I refrained from groaning in displeasure. “Our dear Jade has gone and gotten herself in a pickle and I was wondering if you knew anyone on campus looking for a roommate. You know she has that weird thing with new people.”

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I took a deep breath before I started yelling. Jade had gone through some shit with an ex-boyfriend before they moved to Chicago, and it had deeply messed with her. I knew this because I was the one who usually calmed her down when she had nightmares because of it. The first summer I came home from college, I could tell immediately that something was different about her. My dad relented when I pushed him, and he mentioned that Jade had gone through some therapy and was still having a tough time dealing with what had happened.

I never knew exactly what went down, or even that she had been dating anyone. We never really got close or shared, except that summer. Since then, I’d changed in some fundamental way.

“Noah,” Gail prodded, and I realized she was waiting for a reply.

An idea formed in my head, and I didn’t think about it much before I ran with it.

“I don’t know anyone looking for someone, but I have room for her here if you’re okay with that. Oliver and Callum live here, but she knows Oli.”

Gail hummed and seemed to think it over before I heard her talking to my dad. They conversed back and forth for a minute before she focused back on me.

“Okay, I will let Jade know. Thank you, Noah.”

I politely bid her farewell and hung up. Not that I hated her mom, but she always seemed more concerned with appearances and the high society friends she got when she married my dad than she did with her own daughter. Gail treated whatever had happened to Jade like a problem to be dealt with, then swept it under the rug, never to bring it up again—ugly things like that didn”t belong in her world.

Now Jade would be living with me, and the idea of sharing a room with her made me question my hasty decision. We still didn’t know each other very well, despite our parents being married for years. We were never really in the same place at the same time. But the very few times we had hung out, I craved for the next time, like an addiction. After I had gotten off the phone with Jade’s mom, I had to get my roommates to agree. Convincing Oli was easy. He knew me well enough to know I wouldn’t relent. Callum was indifferent because he was planning on moving soon. While he was gearing up to live with his girlfriend, it wasn”t easygoing and they were constantly fighting about the logistics. I worried they would break up. Not because I didn’t want to share a room with Jade, but I didn’t want to deal with his heartbroken ass. He was such a fucking whiner when he was sick, so I was sure post-breakup Callum would be insufferable.

After Jade arrived and Ryder and Finn came over, we headed to a bar to hang out and drink. We couldn’t get trashed because we had practice tomorrow. Oli and I were sitting in a booth while Ryder and Finn were chatting up some excited-looking blond girls. Finn was the quiet one in the group, but he had no issue turning on the charm. Ryder claimed he hated puck bunnies and usually sought girls who couldn”t care less that he played hockey, but he still took advantage sometimes.

“I can’t believe you stopped with the puck bunnies, man. It’s been months and now you banned sex at the house for yourself.” Oli moaned. “I mean, I get you don’t want to listen to someone pounding your little sis, but to restrict yourself is just cruel and unusual punishment. We’re the ones who will have to deal with your pent-up ass.” He shook his head as he picked up his beer and took a swig.

I completely sidestepped his comment. “That’s your third beer, Oli. You need to stop after this because Coach would kill you for showing up at practice hungover.”

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t try that distracting shit with me. What’s going on? Because this isn’t the normal protective brother thing that most guys do,” Oli accused.

“I’ve told you before, Oli. You know how I feel about her. It’s complicated.” It was complicated because I was lusting after a girl who was my stepsister. That was construed as weird, regardless of us not growing up together or that the only time we really had been around each other was when our family forced us to be home at the same time. “And stop calling her my sister. She is my stepsister,” I finished, trying not to show my emotions.

“Oh, Noah. I’m aware of that. I know all your dirty little secrets. Like the fact that you liked?—”

“And you”re cut off,” I said, interrupting him, taking the mug of beer he had and handing it to the bartender, telling him we were done and wanted to pay.

I knew exactly where he was going with that line of shit-talking. I had let it slip to him in a moment of drunk lamenting something that no one knew. When my obsession got too hard, too heavy to bear another moment, I would sneak into her room at night to watch her sleep. At first, it started innocently—just being in her room and surrounded by her scent took the edge off.

When I realized how heavy of a sleeper she was, the comfort I felt in her room turned into a sick, dark thing. I started to think about all the things I could do to her. Fantasies began to form of her asking me to touch her, take her, claim her. I would sit in the chair near her bed and just let my obsession with her take root. Being in my stepsister”s bedroom while she slept got me almost as high as stepping on the ice before every game, but it also became a dirty addiction. I found solace in the company of puck bunnies and alcohol whenever I could afford it, as being separated from her was inevitable because of our age difference.

Having her back in my life and my house threw me for a loop. It was one reason I made that stupid sex rule. I was sure if I knew some random asshole was fucking her, I”d kill him. Oli, who was looking at me with that expression that said he knew where my mind had gone, broke me out of my musings.

“You gotta tell her, man.” He said it as though it was so simple.

“I’m her stepbrother. It’s not that easy. You know, as well as I do, people would think negatively of us being stepsiblings. I usually don’t care about other people, but the NHL PR people will care, and I’d kill anyone who fucked with her,” I told him, explaining all the reasons I came up with as to why I wasn’t telling her how I felt.

“Oh, this is gonna be so much fun to watch,” he muttered with a chuckle.

When we got back to the house, Ryder and Finn were still with us. We all bullshitted for a while, but then Jade came into the living room. Looking like she had taken a shower, her damp hair was pulled up. The minimal makeup she had on earlier was gone, showing she didn’t need it anyway. She had soft-looking pink and blue flannel sleep pants on and a hoodie with Jack Skellington on it. I could tell she wasn’t wearing a bra, so that explained the hoodie. I appreciated that she wasn’t flashing her nipples to my teammates. With the way we all stared at her when she walked into a room, though, I knew they wouldn’t have minded. But I had already told them when she started school here, and again earlier today before she moved in, that she was off-limits. Having to gouge their eyes out for seeing something like that would make shit awkward.

When she started talking to Oli and Finn, Ryder and I cut our side conversation short. Then she dropped the fucking bomb that she thought all hockey players were hot and then just dipped out. We were all shocked, but slowly, we were able to start conversations again. Shortly after, we called it a night. We had classes and practice tomorrow, back to the weekly grind. There was a flurry of activity as Finn and Ryder left. Oliver headed upstairs to his room to get ready for bed.

Instead of doing the same, I sipped my whiskey to help me fall asleep. I would rather that than take any sleeping pills that made me feel groggy the next day. Once I was alone, I had a terrible idea. Falling back on old habits was never something I wanted. I always tried to look forward, but this was too much of a temptation.

I deposited my glass in the sink, then quietly walked to my room. Pushing open the door, I slipped inside before closing it all the way, making sure the sound didn’t cause her to stir. She was sleeping on her side, facing away from the door. I came around to the side of the bed she had chosen and just took in the sight of her. Her hoodie had been taken off, and her generous-sized tits were crammed into a small sleepshirt. Being attracted to my stepsister so deeply was never odd to me. I could play the part of an uninterested stepbrother well. She didn’t know how I felt about her. Oli and my closest friends were the only other people who kind of knew how I felt, and even though Oli was my best friend, he still didn’t know the full extent of my feelings.

Even now, after being away from her for a while, her smell and beauty pulled me in. The fact that her guard was down, and she wasn’t aware I was there, got me hard almost instantly. The shame I used to feel about watching her was gone. It only made my dick hard now; that I was seeing her like no one else ever did.

My inhibitions were lowered by my increased alcohol intake. The danger that came with the fact that she might wake up and see I was watching her made my dick throb. I almost wished that she would catch me. That she would open those beautiful gray-blue eyes and see that I was hard and watching her. In my fantasy, she would rise on her knees and surprise me by wrapping her mouth around my shaft, taking me so deep. I started thinking of touching her, tasting her, finally just fucking taking her, and letting shit fall where it may.

She adjusted her head, her lips parting, and a soft sigh fell from her lips. I clenched my fist because no one got me going like she did, and I knew it would become too much soon. One of her legs moved, shifting the comforter and unknowingly uncovering her smooth thigh. Her hand slid along her thigh, and she moaned. I smiled, chancing touching the soft skin there with her, following her movements. She drew in a sharp inhale but didn’t wake. Running the fingers of one hand over the edge of her underwear, I waited with bated breath, but she just whimpered and her hands went under her panties. My cock was leaking pre cum from the tip and a dark part of me wanted to mark her. As one hand followed her fingers over her panties, the other undid my jeans and gathered the fluid. I rubbed it gently over her parted lips, leaving them shiny. It made me want to deposit my cum inside her.

With one of her hands in her panties, rubbing her clit, the other came up and skimmed over her firm tits. My hand immediately followed the path, having wanted to touch them for so long. I imagined some day when I could slide my cock back and forth between those two generous globes. I stroked myself with my hand, watching her play with herself. Too soon, I came hard with that image stuck in my mind. Bringing my hand up, I caught the overflowing fluid. Again, I ran a finger over her lips and dipped my cum-covered one inside as much as I could without waking her. I went into my en suite bathroom to take a shower before bed. As I started to get undressed, my phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out and saw it was a text from Oliver.

Oliver

Don’t do anything stupid, Noah.

Fuck, he must have read my mind and assumed I would fall back on old habits. He needed to back off.

Noah

Mind your business.

Oliver

You need to tell her, man. I’m telling you, it would make shit easier.

Noah

I know you’re trying to help, but seriously, I need to figure out how and when to do it myself.

There was no reply after that, and I was glad we weren’t circling the drain with a conversation we’d had over and over again ad nauseam. Turning on the water and waiting a minute for it to warm up, I finished getting undressed. Once I was under the stream of hot water, I thought about what I had just done, and realized it was odd I felt no guilt. There was no weirdness because I had been so laser-focused on her for so long that it just felt inevitable. When I finished drying myself off and putting sleep pants and a T-shirt on, I turned off the light, set my alarm, and then lay next to Jade in bed. I closed my eyes, hoping sleep found me soon and pulled me under and away from thoughts of silky thighs and what I’d find if I dipped between them.