13. Jade
After Noah was done takinghis frustration out on my body for my not-well-thought-out plan to keep him out of the loop with my ”stalker,” he went and talked to his teammates. I had never considered that label for whoever this was, but when I looked at my newest messages, I had no other choice. The “slut” slur didn”t bother me. I had called myself worse things and believed them. Maybe I was a slut, as the stranger accused, but I was more bothered by the fact that the person was at my house and outside while Noah and I had been kissing. Spying on intimate moments with my stepbrother.
The real question I hesitated to answer was what did they want? Were they really so deluded to think that was a healthy way to make someone notice them? Not that I was interested in finding someone, but whatever happened to walking up to someone and saying, hey, I like you?
Noah and I certainly hadn”t done that, but our situation was different. Our relationship wasn”t technically taboo, but society viewed it as such. Just because our parents got married, we were supposed to be off-limits to each other. I had accepted my attraction to him, and I didn’t care what anyone thought. Until my parents came to mind, and that was when reality smacked me in the face. They would not be supportive or happy about the change in our relationship. While they always wished we were closer, it was in a familial sense. They even trusted me to live here.
Pulling out my paints, I stared at my blank canvas for a minute. I just started putting color on it, not really focusing on a specific picture. I wasn”t sure whether this would be an abstract or an actual scene. This was the best way for me to work, though. Painting always helped me analyze my thoughts and feelings. I stood back from the canvas and stared again, willing it to come together. Something was starting to coalesce. Grabbing a smaller brush, I started adding lines and details to the picture.
It was still surreal to me that someone was spending their free time following me and spying on me. I just wanted to be a typical college student. But again, I couldn”t be normal. I was more or less dating my stepbrother and now this. It kind of pissed me off. I guessed it was good I was progressing from denial to anger. My phone pinged from the office desk, breaking me out of my inattention. It was Cora, and it surprised me it took her so long to call me after I didn’t get back to her. She had gotten it out of me that I was going to tell Noah about what happened and had told me to call her after. That hadn’t happened, and then today the complete revelation about the sicko who was focused on me diverted my attention from her.
“Sup, Cora,” I said, preferring to call her rather than to text her back.
“Well, you were supposed to call me yesterday after you were done talking to your brother. Did you chicken out?” she asked, exasperated.
“No.” My tone was defensive, but it irked me that she thought I would decide not to talk to him. “I told him most of the story. There were things I left out, or details I skated over, but the important stuff I explained.”
She hummed over the line and sighed. “So, what happened?”
“Um . . . this feels like a face-to-face conversation.”
“Coffee shop? Fifteen minutes?” she queried.
“Give me twenty. I need to take a shower,” I replied, then we said our farewells and hung up.
Noah and I had taken a shower, but there was no goal of getting clean, and afterward, there was more getting dirty. Smiling, I thought about all the things he had done and said to me. My fingers drifted up to touch my lips. Shaking my head to dispel those distracting thoughts, I hurried to take a shower. When I got out, Noah was in our room. Walking over to the closet, I grabbed a shirt off the hanger and a pair of jeans. Then from the dresser, I grabbed underwear, a bra, and socks. Noah watched me do all this with his eyebrows raised.
“Are you planning on going somewhere?” he asked.
Looking at him, my eyebrows furrowed at the irritated look on his face. “Um, yeah. Cora called and we wanted to catch up with each other. I’m meeting her at the coffee shop on campus.”
He started shaking his head before I finished my explanation. “Negative, J. There is some weirdo out there who is spying on you, following you. You have a target on your back, so it’s not smart to go out there like nothing is going on.”
Crossing my arms across my chest, I stared at him with a “don’t fuck with me” expression.
“I’m not going to stop living because some weirdo has decided I’m his dream girl or whatever. I still have classes and stuff.”
Noah strode closer to me and gripped my hips, pulling me flush with him, my arms dropping from across my torso. “We will escort you to classes. That’s not an issue.”
“I’m going, Noah. Do whatever you want when I get back, but you are not my jailor, so while I appreciate the concern, I’m still going,” I said resolutely.
He smiled, but it wasn’t a happy one. He gripped my chin and pushed me up against the wall, my towel still folded around my body.
“You think I can’t stop you? Because I can, and I actually am starting to get hard thinking about it.” He slid his hand up my thigh, his fingers brushing against my pussy. He stopped before going further, then ran his other hand along my collarbones, the touch like a loving caress, but I caught the warning in it.
Knowing he was trying to manipulate me with sex, I pushed his hands away. I rolled my eyes and tsked at him.
“Come on. If it’s such a big deal, then come with me and stand guard, but I want to do this. Please?” I gave him a puppy dog look with wide, sad eyes and watched as the war he was obviously going through played across his face.
When he shook his head and sighed, I smiled and gave him a quick kiss, then extracted myself from him. As I got dressed, I tried to distract myself from the fact that he was watching my every move. The sexy smirk stayed fixed on his face the whole time.
Once I finished pulling on my clothes, I decided to turn the tables on Noah, and pushed him against the wall as he always did with me. Luckily, I caught him off guard. I pressed my lips to his and added my tongue, sliding against his. His taste made me moan, the French vanilla creamer he used in his coffee still lingering on his tongue and something that was just undeniably Noah. As much as I wanted to see Cora, I also wanted to crawl inside him and never come up for air. His protectiveness and the security I felt with him were becoming something addictive.
I managed to disengage my lips from his and we got ready to leave together.
I chuckledas my friend stared at me from across the table, mouth agape. Well, at least I knew I could still shock her.
She shook her head as if breaking out of a trance. “Damn, Jade. I told you to go for it with Noah, but it really isn’t fair for you to be living kinky romance shit. I only have a biological brother and he’s still in high school, and apparently, afraid of water if how little he takes a shower is any indicator.” She shivered, and I scrunched up my nose.
“Gross.” While I pretended to throw up, she laughed. “Just find a hockey guy. They are pretty hot.”
She nodded. “I know. Your roommate, Oli, is pretty yummy.”
I smiled and shook my head, laughing. “He’s like a brother to me, but I can see the appeal.”
She winked at me and took a sip of her coffee. Noah was sitting a couple tables away, playing on his phone. “So, he seriously wouldn’t let you leave without him?”
I rolled my eyes and sighed. “No. Honestly, the whole protective thing is hot sometimes, but other times, it’s annoying. Like I get that someone is messing with me, but I haven’t noticed anyone following me or being shady.”
“Well, maybe not, but most people don’t have a neon sign above their head labeling them as a stalker or creep. Do you think it might be a classmate or something?” Cora asked, her eyebrows furrowed in concentration.
“I have no idea. I don”t really talk to anyone. Aside from the brief thing with Jacob. I go to hockey games, work on my art, blog, and am just a boring college student.” I shrugged, the picture of nonchalance.
“What are you gonna do when they have away games?” Cora questioned.
Shrugging, I looked over at Noah again. “We haven’t talked about that yet.”
“Well, normally, I would never advise this, but maybe put the sexy times on hold until you can talk about it.”
I laughed and nodded, smiling. We continued to talk for a little bit until we decided to wrap it up. After bidding Cora farewell, I followed Noah to his vehicle and thought maybe I should take Cora’s advice. It was something we needed to talk about.
“What are we going to do when you guys have away games?” I asked once we were on the road, careful to watch his reaction.
He heaved a sigh and continued staring straight ahead, his eyes not glancing my way. “You could come with us. Our games are usually on Fridays, and you don’t have class. Makes it easy.”
“Not easy, Noah. I can’t travel with you. I’m not on the team nor am I even connected to it in a way that would make sense. I don’t have the money to travel and pay for a hotel or whatever. Explaining those charges to Mom or your dad would expose a lot more than I’m willing to at this point,” I said, my tone pleading for him to use logic.
“You know that we are going to have to tell them at some point,” he grumbled.
“And what exactly would we be telling them? In little over six months, you are no longer a student at this school, and you will be headed to the NHL. I, however, will still be here.” I looked down at my hands in my lap, a little regretful I had brought it up.
“So, what? When I leave, you are planning on never seeing me again?” he asked. He pulled into the driveway of our house, but he didn’t park in the garage. Once he shut off the engine, he just turned to look at me, his green eyes stormy.
“Yes, because I’m not deluding myself into thinking that once you are out in the world, being the hotshot rookie, that you will give me a second thought.” My tone was truthful, and it hurt, but I was the picture of indifference.
The muscle in his jaw was ticking, and I had seen that look on his face enough to know he was pissed but was trying to rein it in. It didn’t seem to be working because he chuckled darkly and raked his hand through his hair.
“You don’t listen well, J. Either that or you have a really shitty memory. I told you that if we went there—if we had sex—there was no going back, and you were mine. So, the only thing I can deduce is that you either didn’t believe me when I told you that or you are trying to back out of it.” His hand ghosted up my arm and he gripped me by the back of my neck, pulling me close to him. “Which is it, angel?”
I exhaled shakily, still not used to having him being so close when I felt so vulnerable, or him calling me an angel so easily. When he had said that, a part of me didn’t believe him. I thought he was sincere at that moment, but I had never been in a situation like this. My ex was more than willing to share me, so this was new. Noah wanted me to himself so much that he was pissed at the thought of my stalker thinking he had some sort of claim on me. I shook my head, resting my forehead against his.
“Some part of me didn’t believe you, Noah.”
Before I could say anything else, he groaned. “I’m not him, Jade. This is real to me, and I’m not just trying to pass the time until I leave. My entire life has been about getting into this school and then going to the NHL. It was my singular goal, but somewhere along the line that morphed to include you. I tried to fight it, but when you admitted that you were attracted to me too, it broke that resolve.” His tone was soft and tender, almost cautious. Like telling me too much would scare me.
I closed my eyes, trying hard not to cry. Every time his voice took on that tone, it made my heart clench. I reached up and stroked my palms down the sides of his face, just feeling his stubble and strong jaw.
“I’m sorry I doubted you. It’s something new for me to be important to someone. Please, be patient with me.” I kissed his jaw, unable to stop myself.
I peppered kisses across his chin, waiting. He groaned deep in the back of his throat, and his lips were on mine in a deep, claiming kiss. I would never get used to the way my body responded to him. The way his smell enraptured me, the touch of his skin ensnaring me. My mind was the rebellious one, because I found myself constantly thinking as he kissed me as if he wanted to devour me whole. My thoughts were screaming to me that I was only going to get hurt by him, and my traitorous heart was starting to wonder if they might be right.