Chapter 6
“I’m sorry, you want me to do what?” I ask Lee as we sit outside his small apartment at the home, catching some rays. There’s a storm coming in soon and the forecasters have been warning about potential flooding in some counties. But I’m not worried. California has some nice drains that flow rainwater right into the ocean.
“There’s a sensual ribbon dance being held here. And my son refuses to join me, and my grandson is far too busy, so I’m asking you to be my wingman.”
“Humph, third choice now?”
“Don’t be so sour. You’re my last hope.”
“Jesus,” I murmur. “And what the hell even is a sensual ribbon dance?”
“We fling ribbons around while grinding on our walkers.”
My eyebrows fly off my face. “I’m not grinding on any walkers. That’s indecent.”
I don’t know what I’m talking about. Walker sex is nothing compared to sticking my face in Everly’s ass and licking his butthole.
Fuck. There’s a thirteen percent chance I won’t be fired for that.
I need to get my shit together and behave.
I won’t do that again.
Yes. Exactly. Never again. Easy peasy.
“You won’t use a walker. You still have good knees. You can bend over all on your own. Me, on the other hand, I need some help in that area.”
I mean, I can bend over and I do it so well, but I don’t tell him that. I just run a hand down my face, contemplating what the hell I’m getting myself into. Because the truth is, I can’t say no to him. I’m going to be doing a sensual ribbon dance.
“Fine, I’ll do this with you. What kind of commitment is it?”
“Oh well, next week we have a training session, and then you can practice the choreography at home. Or we can practice it here if you want. We can go over our moves together.”
“Fuck,” I murmur, and when I turn my head to glance at him, I see him grinning wildly. He knows what he’s asked me to do. If this is recorded and sent around campus, I’ll be the laughingstock. I’ll never live it down.
Sensual ribbon dance. Jesus fucking Christ.
“We’re going to have a blast, Silas. Just you wait.”
“If I see you humping your walker, I will walk off stage and never return.”
He chuckles and leans his head back. “I do what I want, young man. Nothing you can do to stop me. Plus, I have some ladies to impress in the audience.”
“Oh, dear God. Please dig out my eardrums,” I murmur.
“It could be a mating dance,” he continues, and I plug my ears, trying to keep his words out. If he tells me he’s been having sex, I will get up and leave. I will not stay for that. I don’t want to think about old, shriveled dicks and ball sacs.
“Don’t worry. I won’t tell you how rampant the sex life is here. That’s between me and the walls.”
“Good God, Lee. At least tell me that you’re using protection.”
“Meh, I have a few good years left. I’m not worried.”
My eyes bug out of my head. “Lee. That is a terrible mindset.”
“My mind won’t be here much longer anyways.”
I reach out and shove him lightly. Don’t want to actually hurt him. He grabs my hand, squeezing it between his arthritic fingers.
“I’m just kidding, Silas. Don’t worry. I know you don’t have anyone, and I’m going to hang in there as long as I can. I promise.”
My eyes sting, and I swallow the lump in my throat. He’s right. I have been on my own for so very long. I rarely talk to the family I have left.
I’m closer with Lee than any of them.
What does that say about me?
We stare out into the distance and watch the clouds roll in and when the first raindrop hits, we move back inside. It’s a steady downpour, so instead of eating outside, we grab lunch in the main hall.
This is a nice facility. They have all sorts of things for older adults, like a hair and nail salon and a pretty damn good restaurant all within walking distance. They even have a nice coffee bar, but the coffee isn’t nearly as good as the coffee on Franklin U’s campus.
Well, either that or I just really like it when Everly brings me a sweet coffee to sip on.
Or his ass to eat.
My dick twitches in my pants and I poke at it, trying to get it to behave. I don’t need Lee thinking that I’m turned on by someone here. He’d never let me live it down.
And I really need to stop thinking about my TA like that.
I lost my mind the other day, but it won’t happen again.
We get settled at a small table that overlooks the gardens and the bocce ball court and place our orders with one of the staff. I, of course, get my salad while Lee gets a hamburger and fries. And as he orders, I bite back my chiding.
He’s not a child, but fuck, he acts like one sometimes.
“It took a lot of restraint for you to keep those comments to yourself, I can tell,” Lee says and grins at me. “Your face is red.”
I roll my eyes and let out a long breath. “I’m growing as a person.”
Lee snorts and takes a sip of his coffee. Don’t get me started on how little water he drinks, for fuck’s sake. He’s probably as dry as the desert in those old veins of his.
“So, tell me about your love life. Gone down on any hot men lately?”
“Jesus, Lee.”
“My grandson told me about a fun online site, and I’ve been reading up on all the dirty slang. Apparently snowballing isn’t what I thought it was.”
I shake my head as a laugh explodes out of me. “Your grandson is a menace.”
“That he is,” he says and then leans forward. “I can give you his number, if you want.”
“No thank you,” I say, my mind flashing to Everly. I have enough to handle with him. I can’t imagine adding in another rowdy young guy. I would probably die from the stress of it.
Lee huffs and leans back in his chair, almost pouting. “Fine, he’s too young for you anyways. How about my son’s number then?”
“I didn’t think he was gay?”
“He’s not. Well, not that I know of, but he is lonely and you’re a good-looking guy. I bet you two would hit it off.”
“Lee,” I say with a huff of laughter. “That’s not how it works.”
“It should work that way, but fine. I guess I’ll have to settle with you not being part of my family by law. Just in my heart.”
His statement makes my own heart thunder in my chest. He’s always doing this, as if he knows how badly I need some kind of parental connection. I’ve only known him a few months, but I feel like I’ve known him for years. We have a lot in common, and from the small amount of time I’ve spent with him, I’ve learned so much about myself.
I’m a better man because of him.
The food is set down before us, and I stare glumly at the bowl of leaves.
“Would you like a fry?” Lee asks, and I begrudgingly take it from him and pop it into my mouth.
“These are extra salty. They must be terrible for your kidneys,” I grumble.
“Sperm has salt in it as well, and yet you don’t hear me telling you to stop sucking dick.”
The fry lodges in my throat and I choke, my body tensing up as my esophagus contracts in an attempt to get it down the pipe. I gulp down some water and thankfully don’t die on the spot, my watering eyes catching Lee grinning like the loon he is.
“Are you trying to kill me?”
“Of course not, just telling it like it is.”
“For fuck’s sake. Keep those little facts to yourself,” I say as I swipe at my wet eyes. “And if you must know, it’s not salt in ejaculate. It’s sodium. Not the same thing.”
Lee waggles his eyebrows at me, and I sigh, realizing that he gives zero shits. His comment was just to rile me up, and his mission has been accomplished.
We eat the rest of our food, chattering about nothing important, just the gossip happening in his life and here in the home. I tell him briefly about my sister and niece and then a little more about my job at the university.
Suddenly, a man with ribbons dangling off his bare arms and legs appears and confidently struts toward us.
I sink down into my seat and hold my breath.
Jesus. It’s sensual-ribbon-man. If I don’t move, maybe he won’t be able to see me.
“Hello there, Mr. O’Conner,” the man says, waving his arm around his head, the ribbons fluttering around him. “Did you find a partner for the dance?”
“Sure did,” Lee says as he points to me. “This distinguished man right here.”
“Ah.” The man’s dark eyes rove over me, and I feel myself blushing. He’s handsome in his own way, probably around my age and has nice skin, but he’s just a little bit too…much for someone like me.
I’d much prefer the subtle, ruggedly handsome looks of Everly. And his ass. And chest and face. Really all parts of Everly leave my dick hard and aching.
Not that I’ll ever see those parts of him again.
I’m drawing the line. A long and thick one.
No more crossing the goddamn line.
“I’m LoveJoy,” the man says, holding his ribboned fingers out toward me.
My eyes widen slightly at his name, but I bite my tongue once more. What kind of name is that? Jesus fucking Christ on a cracker.
“Hello, I’m Silas.”
I wrap my hand around his and he pumps it a little too long before he finally lets go of me.
Lee finds it necessary to pipe up. “It’s actually Dr. Silas Sinclair. He’s a professor.”
LoveJoy’s eyes widen with interest. “Oh, I love a smart man.”
“Hm,” is all I can say. I don’t want to encourage him and his obvious interest in me. He may tie me down with ribbons and subject me to a creepy dance. One that I definitely don’t want.
The only one who should be dancing for me is Everly.
“So nice to meet you, Doctor.”
He purrs the last word and then flutters his arms all around, the ribbons whipping up a frenzy as he moves. I glower at Lee, who is grinning happily at me. He’s loving every second of this, that fucker.
“I can’t wait to help you both come up with a routine. It will be such fun.”
“Oh, I can’t wait either,” Lee says with a chuckle and then runs a hand over his mouth—trying to conceal his laughter, I’m sure.
LoveJoy continues to flutter around us, and I swear, it’s like he’s never going to stop, but finally, he gets called away and pouts as he turns to leave. But not before pulling a ribbon off and tying it around my wrist.
“To remember me by,” he says softly, and I stare at the blue, shimmering ribbon with a frown.
I don’t want to remember him or his ribbons. I want to forget this ever happened.
“I think that went well,” Lee says, and I glower at him, sending him death rays with my eyeballs.
“I’m going to smother you in your sleep, old man.”
“You’d never. You secretly want to be a part of this ribbon dance and flirt some more with LoveJoy.”
“I do not,” I huff and then let out a chuckle. Why is this my life? I swear to God. This would only happen to me.
When it’s finally time to leave, it’s still pouring out. Jogging to my car, I nearly slip on the ground, but catch myself in a very ungraceful waggling of limbs before sliding into my car, half-soaked. I don’t know when this storm is supposed to pass, but I’m annoyed already. I didn’t settle here in Southern California for it to rain. I want sun. All year long.
I have expectations, damnit.
I drive back to my place and park the car in the small garage, thankful that I decided to drive today and not walk. If I’d done that, I’d have been soaked to the bone.
As soon as I enter my living room, I pull off my tie, reach into my pocket, and toss the ribbon onto the end table. I should throw it away but worry this damnable thing actually means something to creepy LoveJoy.
I stare at the fish tank and see Vertebrata staring at me. “Hello, fish.”
She blinks at me and then swims away, showing me her tail as she hides under her coral. I really, really need to find her a friend. Someone like LoveJoy, who will flutter around her space and force her to engage in sensual fish swimming.
I snort as I unbutton my shirt and move to the kitchen, pouring myself a glass of wine. My mind wanders to Everly, and I wonder what he’s doing right now. Is he in class? Studying? Or is he at the club dancing?
I most certainly shouldn’t go there in this weather to check. I drew the line already. With permanent marker. I won’t be crossing it again.
I pull my shirt off all the way and toss it onto the couch, running a hand down my warm skin and straight down into my pants.
I should definitely not get off to thoughts of him again, but I do. I end up on my bed, my leg pulled up to my chest, a vibrating dildo up my ass as I fuck my hand.
And of course, Everly is the one on my mind, his beautiful ass on display, the smell of him, the taste. I explode across my bare chest with his name on my lips and then lie there in my own blissful shame until I finally fall asleep.
I didn’t cross a line doing that.
I most definitely didn’t.
But even so, I won’t be doing it again.
The rain hasn’t stopped. It’s been carrying on like a drama queen, not even letting up for a minute. Just a constant, steady downpour overnight and into the next day. Some professors have canceled classes, but I refuse. A little rain never hurt anyone.
Or so I think.
Until I stride into the library and see Everly at a desk in the corner with a very handsome athletic man in a basketball jersey and shorts. And the man is wet, nearly dripping, looking like sex incarnate. Like he just stepped out of a shower and forgot his towel.
My ass twinges and flexes, remembering that dildo up my ass last night, pretending it was Everly’s cock. How pathetic. I’m thirty-five, old and tired. And here Everly is, not thinking about me at all. No, he’s leaning forward and pressing far too close to another man his own age. I notice Everly’s shirt is wet, his hair too, like he stood in the rain a little too long.
My cock twitches, obviously not getting the hint that Everly is preoccupied with a younger and much hotter man than me.
I force my gaze away and make my way down another aisle, only occasionally peering through the books at him, watching as he laughs softly at something the other man says and lays his hand on his forearm.
Something ugly and mean surges up inside of me.
I don’t own him, don’t have any right to feel this way, and yet I do.
Something in my brain yells that he’s mine.
Mine.
I force my gaze away and continue walking aimlessly down the aisle, having completely forgotten why I was here in the first place. I rack my brain, trying to remember what in the hell I’m doing in the library.
In a moment of clarity, I remember that I was going to request a book from another university and with a somewhat sound mind, I make my way back up to the front desk. But not before glancing over my shoulder and watching as the guy presses his forehead to Everly’s shoulder and Everly gently pats his head.
This is too much PDA for the library. This is a scholarly environment.
I should sound an alarm.
But before I can, Everly glances up at me and I quickly turn away, forcing myself to not turn back around and glower. I refuse. I will not show him how annoyed I am that he’s touching someone else.
I’m an adult.
This is not how someone my age behaves.
So with straight shoulders, I place my order with the front desk and then with purposeful steps make my way through the rain and back to my office, where I sit in my chair and pout.
I should be working, should be answering emails, or even grading, but instead, I just stare at the door and frown.
Stupid Everly and his stupid ass.
Of course that jock is attracted to him. Everly is hot, incinerating. Any and all straightness that guy may have felt would have been burned right off. And of course Everly is interested in a muscled athlete. That’s probably his type. Not boring old me who eats salads and wears ugly ties to work.
My hand runs down my face, and I stare at the clock. I have class in an hour and I need to prep, but I have zero motivation.
I just want to sit here and sulk like the child I’ve become.
This is good though, I try to reason with myself. This is the line I drew very carefully. He’s not crossing it anymore, especially since he’s into someone else now.
This is a good thing.
The best thing, really.
I turn on my computer and pull up my email, seeing an urgent one from the school, reminding me that I have a sexual harassment training module that I need to complete.
Well, if that isn’t a cold, harsh reminder. What I’ve done with Everly is wrong. I need to remember not to do it again, no matter how tempting he is.
I need to remember that I cannot sexually harass my TA by sticking my tongue up his hole.
Suddenly, there’s a knock on the door. I sit up a little straighter in my seat and place my hands on my keyboard, wanting to look like I’m actually working and not ruminating over a student.
And harassing him in my brain.
“Come in,” I say gruffly, and a moment later, a very wet Everly strides into my office.
My hands slide off the keyboard and my mouth falls open. Fuck. His t-shirt is practically see-through. I can see his hard nipples and the outline of his belly button. This is terrible. Absolutely wretched. That line I drew is looking a little squiggly at the moment.
With very large gaps in-between.
Ones I could easily walk through.
“Where in God’s name is your sweater?” I hiss, and Everly glances down at himself and shrugs.
“I forgot it at home.”
I snap my mouth shut and grind my teeth. “It’s torrential out there!”
“Yeah, I didn’t realize it was storming until after I left my place. Didn’t have time to run back.”
“There’s been warnings all over the news for days.”
“Who listens to the news, old man?”
I scoff and motion to the door. “Close it.”
Everly reaches behind him and pushes it shut. He stands there, positively dripping as I stand and rummage through a box behind my desk.
A moment later, I hand over a t-shirt and a sweater from the biology club I was an advisor for that I never could get rid of. They’ve just been sitting here for years, collecting dust.
“Change into this before you catch cold.”
“Are these yours?” he asks, and I swallow. I would like to see him in some of my clothes, not that I’ll ever allow that.
No.
Lines.
I have lines.
“No. They’re just extras from the club that I never threw away.”
“Cool. Vintage.” Everly takes them from my hands, and I feel the cold tips of his fingers. He must be freezing.
I should turn around and not watch him strip that shirt off. But I don’t. I just wait for him to pull it off, like the pervert I’ve become, staring at his puckered, pink nipples before they’re sadly covered with the dry fabric. Within seconds, he has the sweater on, looking far too good in something cheesy that I purchased wholesale.
I bet he could make a napkin look brilliant.
I’d very much like to see that.
“Thanks,” he says and then runs a hand through his wet hair.
I sigh and rummage around in the box once more, pulling out another shirt and bringing it up to his head and scrubbing at it. It’s not a towel, but it’ll do.
“Do you honestly not have an umbrella?” I ask, standing far too close to him. He smells like rain and wind and fucking sex.
He swallows, and his eyes slide down to my lips, his body trembling slightly. “No. Who owns an umbrella in Southern California?”
“Adults,” I reply and step a little closer to him, our bodies brushing. Everly lets out a stuttered breath, smelling like mint. Like a nice piece of candy.
I want to gobble him up.
“You should really own one.”
“Do you have one for me lying around in here?”
I let my hands fall to his shoulders, and he leans toward me.
“No. But you need one. You’re going to catch a cold walking around like this,” I say, my voice nearly a whisper.
“If I get sick, will you take care of me, Dr. Sinclair?”
The way he says my name, a whisper against my lips makes my entire body flame. My hands slide down his bulky arms, feeling the way those muscles move beneath my fingertips before quickly pulling away.
If I keep touching him, there’s a good chance that I’ll end up bent over my desk and begging. And I can’t do that.
“If you were on death’s door, I would,” I reply and then take a step back. “But you’re an adult, you can take care of yourself.”
“I get very needy when I’m sick. I never had a mom growing up.”
My eyes flash to his, and I see his bottom lip jut out. “What do you mean?”
He shrugs. “She left when I was a baby. It’s just been me and my dad. And he was always working. When I was sick, I was left to fend for myself.”
“I didn’t realize,” I say, and Everly smiles at me.
“It’s fine. How could you? We’re practically strangers.” He lowers his voice. “Even though you did have your tongue in my ass.”
My cheeks flame, and I feel my cock perk up. I did. My tongue was all up in him.
“That is very inappropriate.”
“So is rimming your TA in your office,” he teases, and my face falls.
“You’re right,” I say, taking a step back and walking on shaky legs to my chair. I sit down and run a hand down my tie. “That was inappropriate. Everything about this is. And it won’t be happening again. I temporarily lost sight, and my mind, but it won’t happen again.”
“Dr. Sinclair—” Everly begins, but I stop him with a slash of my hand. I’m glad he said that. I’m remembering that I need to get my shit together. This very well could get me fired, and I can’t risk it all for a goddamn boy.
“I could lose my job, Everly,” I hiss and then shake my head. “You should go.”
His shoulders slump slightly. “Come on. It was a joke. You can violate me anytime. Seriously.”
My cheeks burn, and I sit stiffly in my chair.
“Won’t happen again. Goodbye, Mr. Winslow.”
He sighs, and in my periphery I see him run a hand through his damp hair again.
“Right, okay. I get it. I got it. See you soon.”
He turns and disappears from my office, probably off to do God-knows-what with God-knows-who. That’s fine. It’s more appropriate anyways. Anyone he fucks around with will at least be his age. And that’s good for him.
And very good for me.
Because I should definitely not be lusting after him, and I most assuredly should not be putting my face anywhere near his ass again. If he reports me, I’ll deserve any discipline that comes my way.
That’s right. I need to remember I could get in trouble for this. For acting like a sex-starved man with someone who is clearly a student. The power imbalance is insane. Not only that, but he’s my TA, for fuck’s sake.
This is for the best. He can have his jock, and I’ll make sure this remains professional between us from now on.
No more sitting outside his place of work.
And most definitely no more jacking off to thoughts of him.