Chapter 10
Idon’t know why I thought this date was a good idea. But I felt even more determined to go on it after Everly kissed me and then fled my office.
I’ve hyper-fixated on that kiss far more than I should. Far more than is healthy.
I made sure that LoveJoy—who is ironically not named after a candy bar after all—went out with me the very next day. Screw waiting for Saturday. We pushed it up to Thursday. Because I couldn’t wait. I had to get this obsession with my TA under control.
And ribbon-man seemed like just the thing. He’s so exotic and odd that I figured he’d be the perfect person to distract me from Everly.
I’m right about that, actually. The moment he shows up to the popular beachside restaurant in town, with its crowded tables and romantic low lights, I can see only him. It’s hard to look away when he strides toward me, almost floating. Perhaps it’s the brightly colored caftan dress he’s wearing or the ribbons in his hair, but he looks positively ridiculous.
LoveJoy will certainly keep my mind off of Everly for the time being.
At least I hope so.
“Hello there,” he says, leaning down, smelling of caramel. He presses a kiss to my cheek, and I allow it. Not that it feels anything like Everly’s lips on my skin, but that’s not why I’m here. I’m here to forget about that man and find someone to have fun with.
I nod and smooth my tie down. “Hello.”
He grins at me and then sits down in the chair opposite me.
“I’m glad you found the place okay.”
“I am too,” I reply, surprised that this restaurant is somewhat normal. I expected something very offbeat and strange. But then again, something weird could happen. With LoveJoy you never know.
“Howdy, partners. I’m Adam,” the waiter says, swinging by and handing us menus. He hands them to us upside down, and I glance up at him, noticing that he’s sucking on his lips a little too vigorously. Hm.
“Howdy right back,” LoveJoy replies. The waiter, Adam, eyes LoveJoy and his caftan a little too long. Probably because it shimmers brightly despite the dim lighting.
“Nice robe, man,” Adam says. “It’s very sparkly. Kind of moves too when you squint your eyeballs.”
LoveJoy preens under the attention. I’m wondering what substance our waiter is on. Nothing good, I assume.
“Could we order drinks now?” I ask, distracting the waiter, who is reaching out and fiddling with the ribbons in LoveJoy’s hair. It’s fine by me, but honestly, I just want to get this date over with. And the longer the waiter fiddles with LoveJoy’s hair, the longer I have to sit here and pretend I’m not thinking about Everly.
“Right on. What can I get you?” Adam asks, and I sigh, ordering a water with lemon—I need to keep my wits about me—and LoveJoy orders a porn star martini. I don’t even want to know what that is. If LoveJoy strips down to drink it, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised.
This is what I get for agreeing to a date with him.
“So,” I say, trying to make conversation once the waiter finally leaves. I’ll do just about anything to make this move a little quicker. “You have an interesting name.”
“Oh, you don’t even know the half of it,” he says, flitting his hands around. “I hated it growing up, got teased a lot, but now I own it. LoveJoy Dracula Smith.”
A snort escapes me. “Dracula?”
“I know. My mother is a wild hippie and my dad is a dreary, grumpy accountant who hates the outdoors. I think they compromised.”
“Do you have any siblings?” I ask, wondering what their names could be.
“Of course. Two sisters. GracieDoll and BloomCloud.”
I stare at him. The first sounds like a creepy, murderous Muppet and the second sounds like an atomic bomb.
He shrugs. “I know. I know. And you don’t even want to know their middle names.”
I lean forward. “Actually, yes, I do.”
I can’t help but be interested in this. I may want this date to be over with, but I am distracted. Yes, this was the perfect decision. LoveJoy is making me not think of Everly. Even though I just did. But whatever. I can’t expect perfection right off the bat.
“Well, Gracie’s middle name is Chaos and Bloom’s is Ozul.”
I can’t help but smile at that. My god, this family. No wonder LoveJoy wanders around in ribbons. He can’t help himself with how he was raised.
“I also have a cousin named Basil, if that helps. And another named Aspen.”
“Hm, sounds like your family is quite…fun.”
“They are. No one like them.”
“And this ribbon dance? Is this something your mother taught you?” I ask.
“No, it’s something I created while high in the woods. I really did enjoy it and thought I’d spread the love and joy I felt that night to others. To live up to my name.”
I can’t tell if he’s joking or not. But then again, I could imagine him out in the woods, flapping those ribbons around and speaking to the birds.
“So, what were you high on?” I ask, genuinely curious.
“Oh, Ayahuasca. It’s a South American brew that causes hallucinations. Or so I was told.”
I stare at him as the waiter brings over his porn drink and my water with a cucumber in it. No lemon to be seen.
And I didn’t even have a chance to look at the menu. LoveJoy is making my head spin and not in a good way.
“Do you do drugs?” LoveJoy asks, and I nearly choke on my water.
“No, I do not.”
The waiter pipes up at that moment, “Drugs? Hell yes. I do. I’m on ’shrooms at the moment, but don’t tell my boss.”
I glower at him as LoveJoy flutters a ribbon around the man’s face. “Be blessed!”
Oh, for fuck’s sake, I think as I stare down at my menu. I should order quickly before the waiter passes out behind the counter and forgets all about us.
“Let me know when you’re ready to order, I’m going to go talk to the wall,” the waiter says. “It tells me funny jokes.”
“Jesus,” I murmur as LoveJoy just nods. Apparently he understands wall speak. I let out a shuddering breath, searching like hell for anything that looks appetizing and settle on a salad.
Such fun.
LoveJoy, of course, orders about ten dishes, and I wonder who’s paying for this. Probably me. I doubt he gets paid all that much to flutter ribbons around and grind on walkers. But who knows? Maybe he’s a millionaire. Maybe his ribbon skills are much desired.
A small snort escapes me. Of course they would be. Who wouldn’t want LoveJoy fluttering around you like a pigeon.
“I apologize for my gluttonous behavior,” LoveJoy says when the waiter ambles away. “But I am ravenous.”
“No problem,” I say, wondering where he’s going to put all that food. He’s not big by any means.
“And the portions here are so small. So don’t be surprised if you’re hungry after your salad.”
And he’s right, when my salad is finally placed in front of me, it’s about the size of my thumb.
I stare at it and blink. Am I hallucinating? Maybe someone put drugs in my cucumber water.
“I would share my food with you, but I get a little feral when it comes to being hungry,” LoveJoy explains, his ten plates set nicely around him. He has enough food for an average-sized meal.
He obviously should have warned me that they feed you like rabbits here.
I watch as he eats and then look down at my salad once more. This is my life now, I think as I shove the entire single leaf into my mouth all at once.
As I chew, I sigh. This blows a big one. I know I’ll be hungry right after this, but I refuse to order more because it’s so damn expensive. This leaf was at least twenty dollars. And I don’t even think I taste dressing on it.
Suddenly, my mind is thrown to Everly and how he teased me over my food choices when we went to grab dinner. How he ribbed me endlessly for being an old man.
Fuck, I’d much rather be here with him, watching him eat, watching that throat bob up and down as he swallows.
I shift in my seat and take a sip of my water, hoping it fills me up enough until I can get home and microwave a meal. I’ll sit with my fish and watch as she poops.
Such a lucky guy I am.
Out of the corner of my eye, a familiar figure makes its way inside, and I freeze, the cool rim of my cup settled against my lips.
Everly is here.
My eyes swivel to the right and see that he’s not alone. He’s with that hot jock, Garrett.
Our eyes meet and Everly lifts his lips in a small, smug smile. He’s here with that gorgeous specimen, and I’m stuck with a shiny, fluttering ribbon.
For fuck’s sake.
How embarrassing.
“What are you looking at?” LoveJoy asks, his cheeks bulging with food, and I immediately feel a bit guilty because he seems like a perfectly nice person.
“Nothing,” I mumble even though it’s something. He’s something. Something I can’t have, obviously. Because he’s my TA and I’m a professor with a slightly vague code of conduct to follow.
Right?
“Are you sure you don’t want to order something else? You really didn’t get much,” LoveJoy says, and I shake my head, watching from the corner of my eye as Everly and Garrett take a seat. Right next to us.
Horrible customer service. Despicable people, really.
They should know better.
I glance over at Everly, who is sitting directly next to me and watch as he grins at me. “Hello, Dr. Sinclair. Fancy seeing you here.”
He turns his gaze to LoveJoy, who waggles a ribbon at him.
“Are you on a date?” Everly asks, looking smug.
“Indeed,” I grumble and then turn my gaze to Garrett. “As are you, it seems.”
Everly’s grin widens. “So it seems.”
Garrett reaches his hand out toward me, a big, beefy hand to go along with his big beefy muscles. I reluctantly shake it, and so does LoveJoy, his cheeks turning a pretty pink.
“Love the dress, dude,” Garrett tells him, and I watch as LoveJoy turns positively red.
“Thank you.”
“Garrett,” he says and LoveJoy takes a sip of his drink, smacking his lips together slightly.
“LoveJoy.”
“Cool name,” Garrett says with a smile.
“Thank you. Yours is nice too.”
Everly and I watch the exchange and part of me wonders if we should leave them to it. The way LoveJoy is blushing and the way that Garrett is eyeing LoveJoy’s caftan like he wants to crawl inside it is making me feel a little less guilty for not being into this date.
Perhaps LoveJoy can find someone who enjoys his ribbons. Maybe Garrett is that guy.
“The portions are very small,” I tell Everly while Garrett and LoveJoy continue to chat. “And our waiter is high on drugs.”
Everly chuckles and runs a hand over his mouth. “Let me guess. You got a salad.”
“More like a leaf, but yes.”
“And what kind of drugs is he on? Should we ask for a hit?”
“Fuck no,” I murmur as LoveJoy takes a ribbon from his pocket and waves it around his head. Garrett claps his hands and guffaws loudly, drawing the stares of other patrons.
Oh, for shit’s sake. This is a disaster. This was supposed to be an outing to rid myself of Everly once and for all, but here he is, right next to me, looking delectable.
He holds up his menu and squints his eyes. “Kinda pricey for a leaf,” he says and glances over at me.
I roll my eyes.
“I had to take money from my retirement to afford that leaf, thank you very much.”
Everly’s eyes go to the plates surrounding LoveJoy.
“Seems you need to pay for his meals too. Since it’s a date and all.”
I glower at him, my eyes narrowed and shooting laser beams his way. Very unsexy laser beams, that will most definitely not sear his clothes right off him.
“Seems you may be working as a professor far longer than you expected,” Everly adds, and I purse my lips in frustration.
He’s right. I will have to with the way LoveJoy is putting down his meal. If he orders dessert, I’ll die still teaching, my arthritic old body collapsing in front of a sea of students.
That makes my lips soften and quirk up. How morbidly funny.
“You know what,” LoveJoy says and then stands up. “Let’s scoot our tables together.”
“Fuck yeah. Great idea, man. Plus, you smell hella good.”
I stare at Garrett, who doesn’t seem to acknowledge me. Or really notice I’m here. He shook my hand but then promptly forgot I existed. Which is fine by me. He can have LoveJoy.
I watch as Garrett stands up to help move the tables together, leaving me sitting in my chair in the middle of the room.
The waiter comes back, his pupils blown wide and blinks at us. “Is it me, or did the tables move?”
I sigh and stand, moving my chair right next to Everly.
Everly, who smells ridiculously manly and who’s leg drifts over and presses against mine.
I should not allow this. Not at all.
There is a thirteen percent chance I will stop this.
“It’s not you, mushroom-man,” I say. “We moved them together.”
Adam nods and runs a hand over his face in relief. “Thank fuck. The walls were scaring me, man. They’re not funny anymore.”
I let out a small laugh but it’s cut off when I feel Everly’s hand slip under the tablecloth and land on my thigh. I feel his touch right up my balls. If I come again, untouched, I will never live it down. I’ll have to hand my penis over to the authorities for a crime.
A crime against my manhood.
“You should not be touching me,” I grumble lowly, not wanting LoveJoy to hear. Not that he’s listening. He’s turned his body completely toward Garrett and is ignoring me completely.
“Should I stop?” Everly asks, his hand traveling a little further up my leg. I feel his touch through my clothes, feel the way it sears my skin and sets me on fire.
“You most definitely should?” It comes out as a question, and I see Everly’s lips twitch.
“Seems you don’t know what you want.”
Oh, but I do. I know what I want, but I can’t have it. Right?
I nod my head and then shake it, unsure of what he said. I can’t think clearly when his fingers are digging into my thigh like that.
I glance over at LoveJoy for help, but he’s not paying me any mind. Neither is Garrett. I’m pretty sure I could pay for dinner and leave and they wouldn’t be any the wiser.
“Why are you here anyways?” I ask, finally getting my brain to work.
“Looked like a fun place to eat,” Everly says, and I shift in my seat, resulting in Everly’s hand scooting up my leg. He’s almost brushing my crotch, and we all know how that will end.
“It looks like you came here to interfere with my date.”
“With AlmondJoy?” Everly asks as his fingers graze my traitorously hard dick. Damnable thing. Won’t go down for a second when he’s in the room. Or anywhere on Earth apparently. Seems I may need to move to the moon to escape this silly obsession.
“I admit, he is very pretty.”
I scoff when I see LoveJoy stand up and flitter his hands around, the ribbons dancing around him rhythmically. Must be some kind of magic he employs to get them to do that. And Garrett is eating it up. He’s grinning and cheering, his eyes never leaving that man.
“Seems like your date likes him just fine as well.”
Everly’s thumb swirls around the tip of my dick, and I let out a low groan. I should really move away. Instead, I arch my hips up, searching for more.
“Wanna know the truth?” he asks, leaning closer, his lips brushing my earlobe. Just that touch sends me toward the edge of bliss. “I couldn’t give a fuck.”
Oh god, I think as I feel his hand drag down my dick. I want to unzip my pants, push him onto the ground, and stuff my cock right down his throat.
But of course, that would land us in jail.
And there’s no way I’d survive in a place like that.
Just as I open my mouth to respond, LoveJoy flips his leg dramatically up into the air. How he gets it perpendicular to the ceiling I’ll never know, but his flexibility is astounding. He also manages to show everyone in the vicinity his panties, but that’s not the only issue. On the way down, he knocks his heel into a serving tray, sending plates of food flying.
LoveJoy gasps, Garrett claps loudly, and Everly takes his shot, his fingers wrapping around my dick in a spectacular squeeze.
It’s enough to set me off.
I groan loudly as I lean forward, feeling my cock pulse. Oh my god, if he does that again, I’m going to come.
I can’t handle him. He’s potent.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” LoveJoy says just as our waiter appears and drops and rolls around in the food splattered on the floor. “I didn’t mean to do that. I’m a peacemaker!”
“The world is ending!” the waiter suddenly shouts. “The aliens have come!”
Everly is chuckling, and I just sit there, mouth agape. Mostly because Everly hasn’t let up on rubbing my dick and I’m staving off an orgasm as we speak.
This is life or death it seems.
“I’ll pay for this. I promise,” LoveJoy is saying, his cheeks flushed red.
Garrett grins at him and then pulls him into his lap, nuzzling his face into LoveJoy’s neck. Suffice it to say, this date has gone terribly. It has done nothing to distract me from Everly. It only seemed to bring him closer.
To my dick.
“We could go,” Everly says softly, his lips brushing my ear once more.
I stare at the mess, at the waiter being hauled up by his manager, and find some words.
“Yeah, we should go. Let me pay.”
With shaking hands, I pull out several hundred-dollar bills and set them on the table. That should be enough to cover it all. I’m pretty sure I’m overpaying, but at the same time, we did make a huge mess. It’s only fair.
“Look at you, Mr. Money Man,” Everly says with a grin. “Do you always carry hundred-dollar bills around with you?”
“For emergencies.” I glance around. “And this is definitely one.”
His hand squeezes my dick once more, and I gasp, flicking his hand away, needing to get out of here before I walk out with a wet spot on the front of my slacks.
“Can I get a ride home?” Everly asks when he stands up and follows me to the restaurant door, not even saying goodbye to Garrett.
To be fair, I didn’t say anything to LoveJoy either. But he was in Garrett’s lap and didn’t seem to notice me. Which is fine by me. I don’t need to be dating a man who does the can-can in the middle of a restaurant. That’s not my scene or my preference.
“Fine, but no more funny business,” I say sternly, and Everly places a hand over his heart.
“Only the funniest of business, I promise.”
I scowl. That’s not what I said. Not at all. But I still let him follow me to my car and open the door for him. Like the gentleman I am.
I will behave like a gentleman the rest of the night.
I will.