4. Chapter Four
Every night for the last six weeks I”ve been here at Saints Bar, desperately hoping to bump into Stacey. I say desperately because that”s exactly what I probably seem. Thankfully no one seems to question drinking every night. Probably because it”s normal for you. My cruel mind reminds me.
But every night I go home alone, more frustrated than the last. I”ve seen both Kelly and Sophie a few times. But I haven”t slept with either of them.
I”m about to leave when I spot her again… like an angel straight from heaven she walks through the doors but she doesn’t spot me. I”m about to walk over when one of the assholes she came with grabs her ass and plants a kiss on her lips.
Now I don”t have feelings, I don”t have a heart, but man if I did, it would have an arrow straight through it right now.
Grabbing my cigarettes from the counter, I storm outside.
Smoking one… two… three in a row to try and calm myself. This is ridiculous. You don”t care about girls, you never have. I remind myself.
“Can I have one of those?” A voice says from behind me.
I don”t even need to turn around to realize who it is, I feel my body heating at her proximity alone. Turning slowly, I offer her my pack, but yet again she takes the one that”s already in my mouth.
“So I never did get your name,” she says as she continues to smoke my cigarette. I”d be lying if I said I wasn”t thinking about what else of mine she could put her beautiful mouth around.
“Hello, earth to hottie,” she laughs.
“Erm Gabe… My name’s Gabe,” I mumble, sounding like some pathetic love-sick fucking teenager.
Before she has a chance to reply, the same asshole she walked in with, is wrapping his arms around her.
“And I”m the boyfriend,” he says, giving me a death stare. He might as well get his dick out and piss on her as it”s clear to see he”s trying to mark his territory.
“Justin,” she grumbles, pushing out of his grip, “you weren”t saying that five minutes ago when you told me to stop being so clingy, were you?” she snaps before storming back inside.
Thankfully, he follows straight behind her, otherwise, who knows what I would have done. Probably beat his ass just for being there and disturbing us.
Not wanting to see the two of them together, I hop the small gate and leave. Not even bothering to finish the drink waiting for me inside.
I”ll pay my tab next time, Declan won’t give a fuck.
“Who the fuck was that?” Justin huffs.
“No one. I don”t know him, he just offered me a cigarette, that”s all.” I lie. Well I guess it”s not really a lie, I don”t know him and he certainly doesn”t know me. Yet the connection I feel whenever I”m around him makes me think I do or that I want to at least.
“Yeah well you”re my woman, remember that.” Justin snaps back.
“Maybe you should remember that too, next time you reject me in front of your friends.” I snap back in return and make my way to the bathroom to get away.
I don”t know what happened to us. We”ve been dating for over a year. The first six or so months were great. We’d laugh and hang around together at school, and despite the fact I was in the year below him, he didn”t seem bothered by it. Yet since he went off to college that”s all changed. He”s become distant and stand-offish. Plus, he”s become a real asshole. Suddenly he thinks he”s too good for me and that having a girlfriend is some big chore.
I tried to kiss him earlier after he grabbed at my ass but he just pushed me away, yet again. That seems to be all he does lately. Push me away, almost in punishment, every time I say no to taking our relationship to that next step. I”m a virgin. I had planned on giving it up to him now that he is home but all he”s done for the last few weeks is treat me like shit so he doesn’t deserve it. So when I spotted Mr. Mysterious from the bar the other week, I couldn’t resist the urge to see him again.
We spent most of the night getting drunk, even though I switched to plain soda hours ago. I”ve scanned the bar so many times but it”s clear Gabe is no longer here.
The night ends and despite the fact I ask Justin to get the Uber to drop me back at home, he ignores my request and tells the driver we”re both going to his place.
We stumble through the door and make our way upstairs. I turn to stay in the spare room as I have many times before when I”ve stayed with either Justin or Lexi, but he grabs my hand and leads me towards him.
“What are you doing?” I whisper.
“Come on baby, we”re not little kids anymore.”
“No! Your parents won’t like it.”
“Oh sorry, I forgot I was dating a baby who’s scared of everything,” Justin snaps.
“Fine, just to sleep then,” I say, not wanting to get into a huge fight right now.
We make our way down to his room and I remove my jeans but leave the rest of my clothes on and slide under the cover.
Justin slides in beside me and almost instantly his hands find their way under my t-shirt.
“Babe, we can’t do this here,” I whisper, attempting to move his hands, but they don”t budge.
“My parents are at some business party and Lexi is probably out with Brett.”
“Come on baby, you”re my girlfriend. I”ve missed you. I just wanna be close,” he says seductively as he begins kissing my neck. See here’s the Justin I know and love, I think to myself before rolling onto my back to let him kiss me.
We begin making out, allowing him to remove my top as he kisses and nibbles at my breasts. He then trails his fingers down my mid-section, heading towards forbidden territory. I feel my skin break out into goosebumps and my breath hitches as I feel his fingers slide inside me. I feel my eyes start to flutter close, but before I get the chance to fully lose myself in the moment, he stops. My eyes flicker open, “Justin . . .” What the fuck is going on? Why did he stop? Did I do something wrong?
“Put it in your mouth,” he demands as he removes his boxers and shoves his dick into my face. And who said romance was dead aye?
I do as he says and open my mouth, before he takes it upon himself to essentially fuck my face. Now our sex life, if you can call it that, is never the most exciting, but usually, it”s at least mutual. Yet it”s clear this is far less about him wanting to be close with his girlfriend and far more about him just being horny. I hear a loud grunt before I feel the disgusting salty liquid invade my throat and he rolls off me. Geeze, that was so rushed, I didn’t even realize he was close.
I roll over feeling a bit used, so I attempt to kiss him, if nothing else than to bring some intimacy back. But he pulls away. “Eww that”s disgusting; I don’t wanna taste that shit,” he snaps, pushing me away and rolling on to his side. “Go clean yourself up!” he mutters with his back to me.
I lay beside him, as the tears roll down my cheeks. This is not the same Justin I used to know. This Justin is a selfish jerk.
I sneak to his bathroom, use the mouthwash to physically wash him away, and then make my way to the spare room, making sure to set my alarm early enough that I can leave and catch the bus before he wakes up in the morning.