12. Isla
12
ISLA
A month and a half later…
The strums of Christmas music played faintly in the background as Bowie and Riley danced to a song in the middle of the living room. Lights twinkled around the room, reflecting off the mirror over the fireplace. The tree lit up the dark room with vibrant colors, something Riley insisted on. I had wanted a red and white tree, but when we played rock, paper, scissors, she won.
I grinned as I watched Riley step on Bowie’s toes for the tenth time in the last minute, and how he winced, pretending it didn’t hurt. Taking another drink of my eggnog, I set down the glass and wandered over to the tree, snagging a present out of Sasha’s claws as she tried to tear it open.
“What are you doing?”
“Getting ready to open presents,” I retorted, checking the name tag.
“You can’t just open them! It’s not Christmas day!”
“I don’t want to wait until tomorrow. I’m dressed up now, and I don’t want to get up in the morning and sit down here in my pajamas.”
She stepped back in shock, pressing her hand to her chest. “But it’s tradition.”
“Well, maybe this year I want to do things differently,” I said, sticking out my tongue at her.
In truth, Christmas felt tainted. I kept thinking about the shipping container, how we had decorated it with everything we could find, only to watch it all fade into the darkness. It was only by sheer luck that we were still alive today. So, I wanted to mix things up a bit—make this Christmas different because it definitely didn’t feel like a regular Christmas.
“This one is for Bowie,” I grinned, handing it over.
When Bowie reached for it, Riley snatched it away. “Don’t you dare.”
“But…I kinda want to open it.”
“No, you don’t. That’s just the eggnog talking.”
“It wasn’t even spiked.”
“Then I’ll go spike it and we’ll say it was the eggnog talking.”
Bowie sighed heavily and nodded, but the moment she turned around, he snatched it out of her hands and ran for the couch, only to be tackled from behind. I laughed as she tickled him, then beat him with a pillow in the hopes that she’d get it back. It was hilarious and everything I had thought I would have with Kavanaugh, but that had ended rather unexpectedly.
However, it wasn’t him I wished was here with me tonight.
I fought the urge to go to the window and see if a certain gray car was idling at the curb. I desperately wanted there to be, but he had been absent more often lately, which made me wonder if he had forgotten about me. Or maybe he got tired of waiting around.
He said he would wait—that I should go to him when I was ready. And I really thought I might be. I was finally moving on from my marriage despite the fact that it had been over for years.
And then there was Kavanaugh. I still thought about him from time to time. How could I not? I had moved out here for him. And even though it didn’t work out, I did love him. But our time apart had taught me that what we shared was never really meant to be. That love quickly faded from being in love with him to loving him as a friend. And the few messages I got from him every week, checking up on me to make sure I was okay only strengthened those feelings.
But it would never be more than that. We rushed in too soon. Or maybe it was because he was away so much in the beginning. It didn’t really matter what happened. The timing was off, and our relationship suffered for it. And I’d come to accept that.
So, yes. I did want to go to IKE, especially today.
But I was scared as hell to actually pick up the phone and call him. I wasn’t sure why exactly. Maybe it was fear that everything had changed since that day in the hospital. Or maybe I was afraid of falling for yet another man, only to have it fall apart.
“Earth to Isla,” Riley sang out, waving her hand in front of my face. “Is anyone in there?”
I blushed furiously as I realized I’d been deep in thought for way too long. I’d missed what Bowie opened and all the fun that went along with that. “Sorry, I was just?—”
“Thinking about Kavanaugh?”
“No,” I said quickly. Well, I had been, but not in the way she thought.
“Ah, then you were thinking about IKE. Where is he, by the way?”
I shook my head, shoving to my feet. “Uh…why would he be here?”
“Because it’s Christmas,” she said slowly. “And you’re obviously madly in love with him.”
I snorted at that, walking into the kitchen for another cup of eggnog. I didn’t really want more, but I needed a minute to pull myself together. My fingertips brushed the fridge and I had a flashback to the moment I saw him when he first stalked into my house. Those sharp, blue eyes gazed at me so intently, roaming over my body as he looked for injuries after my fridge blew up.
I shook off the memory and jerked the door open, pulling out the eggnog.
“You know, I’m surprised you don’t have a massive fear of fridges since you were nearly blown up by one,” Riley said from the doorway.
“The fridge didn’t almost blow me up. A bomb did,” I retorted, shoving aside the fact that, yes, I did still get scared to open the fridge. But I wasn’t about to have someone else open the fridge for me every time I needed something.
Turning with a grin on my face, I took a sip of eggnog. “So, are we ready to open presents?”
“We already started,” Riley pointed out with a grin on her face. “Remember? You couldn’t wait until tomorrow.”
I pushed past her, my heels clicking on the floor as my dress flowed around me. Riley and I both decided to wear something a little more old-fashioned. The amount of crinoline under my skirt was not only itchy, but so much that I had to actually push the skirt down to squeeze past her in the doorway.
The deep green went perfectly with my red hair, and the sheer overlay made me feel like I was a princess as opposed to a slightly depressed graphic designer who hadn’t gotten out of her pajamas more than a handful of times in the last month. I had even pulled my curls up off my shoulders, letting only a few of them dangle free. For the first time since I came out of that shipping container, I felt alive. I just needed to act like it.
Setting down my drink, I picked up the next present, which I knew was for Riley because it was from me. With a grin, I handed it over. “Just for you.”
“I have a bad feeling about this,” she muttered.
“And why would you say that?”
“Because of your face.”
Bowie smacked her on the shoulder. “That’s not very nice.”
“It’s true. She always gets that slightly happy-constipated look whenever she’s plotting something evil.”
“Just open it,” I chuckled.
She tore into the paper, just as excited as when we were kids to find out what was inside. It was a wood cutout of a jar that was painted white, made as a Christmas decoration.
“Recipe for Christmas,” she read. “One cup of family. One tablespoon of joy. Two cups of hope. One teaspoon of peace. Mix with love.” She slowly looked up at me and narrowed her eyes. “Seriously? I should throw this at you.”
I tossed my head back and laughed, knowing how much she would hate it. “I thought we could put it right over the fireplace on the mantle.”
“How about we just put it in the fireplace?”
I mockingly frowned at her. “It doesn’t sound like you’re following the recipe very well. You’re supposed to mix with love.”
“I’ll mix you with love,” she retorted, throwing herself at me and tackling me to the ground.
I shrieked as we landed on the floor under the tree, squishing a box. “The presents!”
“Don’t worry. It’s just a pink sweater with a snowman on it!”
I rolled her, pinning her to the ground as she fumbled for something on the table. I didn’t see the cookie coming. Not until it was shoved in my mouth and I was choking on it. Bowie pulled me off her, sighing heavily as he separated us.
“Seriously, it’s Christmas. Can’t you two get along?”
Riley took his offered hand and got to her feet. “We are getting along.”
I removed the cookie from my mouth, then tore a bite off. “Yeah, this is us getting along.”
Sighing, he rolled his eyes and stalked past us. “At least I didn’t marry this one yet.”
Bowie and Riley had gone to bed long ago, but I couldn’t sleep. With only the tree lights to illuminate the room, I sat in a chair by the window, staring out into the moonlight. I tried to tell myself that I wasn’t looking for him, that I wasn’t desperately missing him, but I would be lying.
Sasha’s claws dug into my leg as she struggled to climb up to sit on my lap. Wincing, I helped her up, sighing when I looked down at the little fur ball. She was the only good thing in my life right now, and that was extremely sad. “I miss him so much, Sasha.”
She meowed as if she understood.
An ache was building in the center of my chest, and as I looked down at his name on my phone, I tried to work up the courage to dial his number. “Just do it,” I whispered.
Without another moment’s hesitation, I pressed IKE’s number and waited as it rang. He answered on the second ring. “Isla.”
My name slid off his lips so easily, sending chills skating down my spine. I closed my eyes as I remembered his touch, the way his fingers brushed across my skin.
I won’t make you any promises until you come to me—clear-headed and thinking about what you really want.
“IKE,” I finally said, my breath coming out in a rush.
“Is everything okay?”
“Um…yeah.”
“Nightmares?”
God, every night. There were nights I woke up and I was in that shipping container, but I was all alone. Other times, I woke up and he was dead beside me. But not tonight.
“No.” I realized he was waiting for me to explain. “It’s Christmas.”
“It is,” he said after a moment.
“And…I was thinking about…” I huffed out a laugh. “You know what I was thinking about.”
“Yeah, I do.”
Just having him on the phone with me eased the tension in my body. I had missed him so much. I hated being away from him this last month, but I didn’t want to send him mixed signals. Sasha jumped off my lap, leaving me even more cold and alone than I already felt.
“Isla, do you want me to come over?”
“I—” I swallowed hard.
“Just say the word.” His voice was rough, like a cool breeze on my skin.
“Come over.”
“I’m here, gorgeous.”
I gasped, spinning around at the sound of his voice in the same room as me. He was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, looking just as handsome as ever in his charcoal suit and grey vest. I didn’t think twice as I leapt from my chair and rushed across the room, throwing myself into his arms.
His lips instantly fused with mine as his hand slid up my spine and cupped the back of my neck, his fingers tangling in the hair still pulled up. He spun me and pressed me up against the wall, shoving his knee between my legs as he devoured my lips. His hand slid from my neck, trailing across my collarbone and down over my side.
Cool air brushed my legs as he started yanking up my dress, trying desperately to touch me. “There is entirely too much fabric here,” he muttered as he tore his lips from mine and craned his neck to look at the dress.
He suddenly stepped back, his eyes trailing over every inch of me and lighting with desire. I blushed under his gaze as nerves raced through me. I was about to start questioning whether this was the right thing to do when his eyes locked with mine.
“Turn around.”
I immediately followed the rough command, turning to face the wall, my hands pressing against the cool interior. Though, I peeked over my shoulder as he stalked toward me. Then I felt his hands on my skin just above the zipper, brushing along the fabric.
“I would tear this off you if I didn’t like it so much.”
I shivered in response to his words. Then I quivered for an entirely different reason. My dress loosened as he dragged the zipper down my back, taking his sweet little time and enjoying every second of it. Meanwhile, I was shivering from the idea of his touch, knowing that when the dress came off, I would heat up instantly.
I swallowed hard as his fingers left the zipper and rested at the base of my spine, just above the black lace panties I wore. Inch by excruciating inch, he trailed his fingers over my spine, up to the base of my neck. I felt his hot breath tickle my ear and did my best not to quiver in response.
“I’ve waited forever for this, gorgeous.”
I could barely breathe as his hand slid over my shoulder blade and slipped inside the dress. I closed my eyes and just let myself enjoy his touch—the way his hand brushed over my ribcage and inside my dress, just under my breast.
“I couldn’t fucking stand seeing you with him,” he said, his voice a rasp in my ear as he pressed himself into my back. “I hated every fucking second, knowing that he had you when you belonged with me.”
My breath hitched in my chest as I ran his words through my head. “But?—”
“No buts. You’ve always been mine. Ever since I saw you with your ex and I stared into those gorgeous eyes, you were mine.”
His lips brushed along my neck, eliciting a gasp from me. “IKE?—”
“Knox,” he rumbled.
My eyes flew open and I glanced over my shoulder, a small smile curving my lips. “Knox.”
A low rumble erupted from his chest as he spun me around. My dress fell to the floor just before he tugged me to his chest, crushing his lips to mine. “Fuck, I love the sound of my name on your lips.”
“Knox,” I repeated breathlessly, sliding my fingers through his hair and tugging as he sucked on my neck, dragging a moan from my lips.
His hand skimmed my side, down to the curve of my hip. Then he was hoisting my leg up, lifting me off the ground as he carried me over to the living room, laying me out on the floor. Warm lips caressed my skin, leaving a trail of tingles that I knew would live forever in my mind.
“Tell me,” he grumbled. “Who were you wearing these for?” he asked, his finger sliding underneath my panties, brushing against my sex.
“No—nobody. Just for me.”
His eyes narrowed slightly as he stood, undoing the buttons on his vest and tossing it on the chair. “Tell me the truth.” His shirt followed.
I swallowed hard, unable to keep up the lie when he stared at me like that. “You.”
He unzipped his pants and tugged them from his legs as his eyes trailed over my body. Then he laid down beside me and let his finger glide between my breasts down to my pussy. “You wanted me to come here.”
I shook my head slightly. “I don’t know,” I whispered. “But…I was thinking of you.”
He was like an animal as he pounced, fusing his lips to mine as he tore my panties from my body. I cried out as the fabric bit into my skin, but that bite of pain was quickly replaced with a throbbing, needing ache as his thick cock pressed against my core.
“You’re mine now,” he growled as he thrust deep inside me.
Stars exploded behind my eyes as his thick cock stretched me wide. My fingers dug into his neck as I held on. He murmured in my ear, telling me how much he needed me, how much he wanted me. Kisses peppered every inch of my face and neck and his hands were everywhere, touching the most intimate parts of me.
I was lost in him, drowning with every whispered promise and desperate kiss. This was right. I knew it deep in my soul.
“Mine. Fucking mine,” he growled as I shattered around him and he came deep inside me.
And I knew in that moment that I was his.