Chapter 5
Chapter Five
MARCUS
“ Y ou okay, man?” Dax asks, skating up next to me.
“Yeah, I’m good.”
“You sure? You’re skating like shit today.”
Understatement of the century. I feel like shit today. Have for the last few days. After a long day of practice, I can sleep like the dead. These last few days? I haven’t been able to sleep a wink.
Last night?
Images of a certain blonde plagued my every thought. It’s been five years since I last let myself think of Harper.
Five long years since I last saw that happy face on my feed because of a moment of weakness.
Harper was happy. She had someone wrapped around her that wasn’t me and I cracked. Drank too much and was in a stupor for weeks.
And that was because I saw a picture.
The last thing I expected walking into the girls’ school last night was running into Harper.
“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Dax. ”
He throws his hands up in defense. “Hey, you’d call me out if I was skating like shit.”
I smirk at him. “As any good captain would. Make sure you’re okay.”
He butts the end of his stick against my pads. “See? Just making sure you’re okay.”
“It was a weird night.”
“You want to go out and talk about it after practice?”
I shake my head as Coach Andrews blows the whistle. “Nah. I have to get home to the girls.”
“They’re okay, right?” Dax asks.
“They’re good. Giving me a run for my money most days, but they’re good.”
“Who’s giving you a run for your money?” Bode asks, skating over to us and spraying ice over me and Dax.
“You fucker. Really?”
He gives me that cocky smile of his. “Gotta keep you on your toes, Cap.”
“Fucking Bode.” I shake my head at him as I skate back to the line to resume practice.
It goes by in a blur of missed shots and wide passes. Not a banner day for me by any means. I breathe a sigh of relief when it’s finally over.
I always say I earn my keep in practice. It’s where you work hard to become the best player, and the games are just a bonus.
Not today.
Today was one of the rougher days.
And all I want to do is go home and collapse.
“What did our teacher say?” Sadie asks the minute I walk in the door .
“Your teacher?” I ask, wrapping her in a hug before Sam tackles me.
“Yeah.” Sadie looks at me like I’ve lost my mind. “You said if we got good reports we could pick what we make for dinner.”
“So did we?” Sam asks.
“Oh, right.” I scrub a hand over the back of my head. “Your teacher wasn’t there.”
“What does that mean?” Sadie asks.
“It means we can still have grilled cheese and apples for dinner. Want to help?”
“Yes!” they both shout at me before running into the kitchen.
“How were they today?” I ask Emma, who is standing behind them.
“Good as always. Sadie read and Sam and I played Uno.”
I laugh. “How did that go?”
“I lost epically. I don’t know how she gets such good cards all the time.”
“She’s bad like you!” Sam calls from the kitchen.
“What’d we say about being a gracious winner?” I call back to her.
“It’s okay.” Emma waves me off. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Mr. Evans.”
“Thanks.”
I shut the door behind her and kick off my shoes into the pile that needs to be straightened by the door. A problem for another day.
All of the ingredients for dinner are spread on the marble countertop by the time I make it in there.
“We’re ready!” Both girls are grinning back at me from their stools behind the island .
“Perfect. Want to turn on a show while we make dinner?”
They both nod, and I grab the remote to turn on the living room TV. The open floor plan is nice on the days I need a little distraction.
“Bluey?” they ask in unison.
I groan but turn it on anyway, because I love that little dog. If they knew I actually liked it, they’d likely want to watch something else just to spite me.
The show is background noise as the two of them tell me about their day. These are the moments I love with the girls. As much as they don’t get along, they love each other that much more. It’s how Jamie and I were growing up. The much cooler older sister and the annoying little brother tagging along.
“It needs more apples,” Sam tells me, pushing my hands out of the way and adding more slices to her sandwich.
“Go for it.”
The two of them assemble their dinners before washing their hands and heading to their stools to watch the rest of Bluey while I grill the sandwiches.
“Get some carrots out to have with dinner, okay?”
Sadie nods and heads over to the fridge to pull the bag out and drop them onto their waiting plates.
As each sandwich is done, I cut it into fourths for them. “You two eat while I straighten up, okay?”
Sam and Sadie nod at me before pulling their plates toward them and digging in to their sandwiches.
I drop all the dishes into the sink before heading upstairs to start a load of laundry. The sage color paint heading up the stairs is hard to see through all the pictures decorating the walls. School pictures. Zoo trips. Vacations. Pictures of them with their mom and dad. A picture of my dad, their grandpa they won’t really remember.
Some days are harder than others, like today where I’m exhausted and could use an extra set of hands. Passing their bathroom and seeing the state it’s in, I shut the door to try and ignore the problem. I add that to my mental to-do list. With a practice Saturday afternoon and Sunday off, I should be able to get everything taken care of, if I bribe the girls with watching a movie in the morning.
I could hire someone, but I don’t want just anyone coming into our home. I only found Emma through another guy on the team who used her before he got traded.
I’m thankful I have her to help.
Which brings me back to Harper.
Fuck. I try not to think about her, but it’s useless. It’s like seeing her unlocked the box of memories we had together.
Ignoring the pile of laundry in my room that needs to be done, I head straight into the closet. In the very back is a small box. One I keep tucked away and out of sight. Grabbing it, I sit with my back against the shelves. There’s not much in here. A few pictures of the two of us, my wedding ring, and the letter that Harper wrote me when I left for my very first NHL game. It was tucked into my away bag and put the biggest smile on my face when I found it.
I trace my fingers over her pretty handwriting. I always liked to tease her that it was a teacher’s handwriting. That it’s why she chose the profession she did.
Seeing the words she wrote there makes me question a lot of the choices I made back then. I took the coward’s way out. I know that. But it was easier than her leaving me. Because that would have been worse .
The gold metal of my ring is cheap as I rub my thumb against it. The smallest reminder of the love we had.
“Fuck.”
This isn’t helping anything. The picture of the two of us on our wedding day is one of the last pictures we have together. I couldn’t help myself. I wanted Harper more than anything in the world. From the minute I first met her, I was addicted to her.
It’s like she was put on this earth just for me. There was no one more perfect. Everything with her was easy from the get-go.
Marrying her on a whim in Vegas? Why not? We were two young kids in love with our futures in front of us.
Maybe that’s why things crashed and burned so badly. We’d never had anything test the love we had for one another.
Harper at my games with our kids. A dog. A swing set out back. Everything I envisioned for our family.
All died with a single phone call. We never got it.
Sighing, I place everything back into the small box and tuck it back where I have it stored for safekeeping. I rest my hand on it.
Why haven’t I been able to get rid of this?
“Dad?” Sam’s voice calls out from the hall.
“Yeah, sweetheart?”
I don’t know how much time has passed, but I haven’t done a single thing I was supposed to. All because I was distracted by the woman who I couldn’t get enough of.
The woman who is no longer mine.
“Can we have dessert?”
“Sure thing.”
I can worry about everything else tomorrow.