61. Sable
SABLE
Flashes fill my brain. Memories turn from clear to blurry.
I’ve been seeing versions of his face in the background for years.
I wonder if I’m not manufacturing these memories, but deep inside, I know I’m not.
He was there. Everywhere. “This is fucked up.” I shake my head and avert my gaze.
I don’t know if I even want the rest of the truth, not sure I can take that as well as everything else.
Liliana was apparently never my friend. She always intended to use, abuse, and dump me.
What is her real name, even? The feelings weigh over my chest, a ball lodged in my throat.
My cheeks redden, but I don’t know why. My skin feels tight over my bones like someone is watching me even now.
Why am I embarrassed? If anyone should be, it’s Parker, but I want to turn myself inside out.
I think about all the private moments he must have seen, and I nearly get sick.
What about the nights I cried in that hotel? Did he have a way to watch me then?
“How long have you been following her?” Lex repeats.
Parker doesn’t reply. He’s back in front of me in a flash, his eyes full of heat when he tips my head up, making our gazes meet.
“I protected you when no one did. I watched you and kept you safe. I was right there when he dragged you into that river, and I was at the hospital when you woke up. And when you had nothing left, I found a way to keep you safe when you had nowhere better to go.”
His words hit me right in the heart. Tears run down my cheeks, and his thumbs are right there drying them.
He kisses me softly, and I shudder in his hands.
He’s a stalker. That’s what my rational brain is screaming, but when his tongue goes in to taste mine, I whimper and let him do whatever he wants.
Is that why I’m so embarrassed? Because deep down, this doesn’t bother me as much as it should.
I try to push him away, but he doesn’t budge.
“You had no right to bring me here,” I say, trying to accept what he’s telling me that he, of all people, chose this path for me.
Parker’s jaw sets, and he shakes his head. “And leave you with your creepy uncle? You know I had to get rid of inappropriate pictures he took of you?”
“I most certainly did not know that.”
“You have an uncle?” Orion asks.
Parker laughs darkly. “She has three, technically.”
When I received the letter, Bellthorn felt like my only option. I held in my hands a miracle, without any clue how it came to be. My eyes return to Parker, and he watches me with intensity that burns my skin, waiting for me to react.
Can I just let it go and embrace my stalker? I’m sure that’s what he wants.
I step away from him, and this time, he lets me.
My eyes turn to each one of them. My anger lies dormant beneath pity and forgiveness for the other four, because until this very moment, they had no idea I didn’t sign up for this.
Soren looks like he's about to be sick, and I don’t blame him.
I’ve had a lot of guilt and uncertainty over the half confession and unwanted kiss.
His complexion is green, his lips pale. I don’t pity myself for how this worked out, though.
If anything, I’ve enjoyed my time here. Worked through trauma on their dicks and tested my own limits in ways I never expected to.
It wasn’t perfect, but it was the distraction I so gravely needed.
“So you stalked me for years and tricked me into being a sex slave,” I say as I look at Parker. “And you drugged me and fucked me whenever you felt like it.” I move my eyes to Hadrian.
“You actually gave me permission,” he says, but I shoot him a deadly glare.
“Wow, you deserve an award,” I say flatly, not even a little impressed.
“Any sins to confess?” I ask the other three.
Orion crosses his arms in front of his broad chest. “I don’t hide shit, and it doesn’t matter what you signed. You’ve been a good little whore from day one.”
“She has not,” Lex says. “This changes things.” I’ve never seen such an expression on his face, and I know he’s replaying the blow job from the first day. I stare at him, hoping to tell him it’s okay, but he won’t look back. Lex’s guilt and pain eat at me.
“Don’t.” I reach for him, but he pulls away.
“I can’t, Sable. I’m so sorry. I would have never?—”
“You would have never what, you fucking pussy?” Parker turns to him.
“You’re in love with her, you weak bastard, and you’re going to apologize and send her out the door?
News flash, you can’t unfuck someone.” Lex doesn’t respond, and I’m sure what he said about him loving me isn’t true.
He can’t even look at me and doesn’t want my touch.
“The Offering offers herself, Parker,” Soren grits. “She’s not an offering if you did it for her.”
My head spins, fear clawing my throat. This is rapidly going in a direction I never expected.
Lex still won’t look at me. I never thought I had a stalker, or a fake best friend, and now I’m suddenly worried about where to go, and the Offering year is only half over?
What the hell has happened to my life, and why does it feel like the revenge on Arabella and Liliana was actually meant to destroy me?
Parker is right. I don’t have any options for where to go other than to my uncle, and I haven’t heard from him since I arrived.
Have I disappointed them with my ignorance?
Not bowed, begged, scraped, or served enough to keep me?
It’s not fair. I didn’t know what was actually required of the Offering, and I didn’t agree, but I still jumped in with both feet.
Despite the hiccups, I really thought I was pleasing them.
That they liked me. And sure, I thought about escaping before, but I never did.
Not even once did I try to leave. How the hell did we get here?
My vision blurs, and my knees melt under me before I hit the floor.
The crack against the marble barely registers with the fear all around me.
I’m a spoiled rich girl and a whore, I don’t see myself making it on the streets, and the idea of staying with my uncle is too disgusting to bear.
Tears drip down my cheeks. Heartbreak rips me up alongside the fear, and I realize I care for each one of them.
How the hell did I get myself in this position?
Warm hands slide under my armpits, and I’m lifted against someone’s chest. I recognize Hadrian’s scent from just the other night.
How did I never notice his presence when my bedsheets so often smell like him?
Hadrian lifts me into his arms, then walks me to the round bed.
He places me into a fluffy pile of blankets, and I blink at his handsome face.
His expression is completely closed off, another knife to my stomach, and my lips tremble.
He watches me cry for a stretched minute, and whatever distance he was trying to maintain fades.
“She’s not going anywhere,” he says, giving me my first real sense of hope.
The rest of them surround my bed, and Hadrian looks at them, but instead of me, his posture hardens like he’s prepared to fight all four of them, despite him being the leanest of all of them.
My eyes dart from one to the next, standing like Greek statues over me, and I silently pray they don’t fight anymore.
I’m pretty sure Lex didn’t swing back because of his own guilt.
These gods decide my fate, and I’ve never felt smaller.
“Parker is right,” Orion grits between his teeth as if it pains him to agree with him. “He told me the other night she’s ours to care for. That’s true. If she’s with us at Bellthorn, we can watch over her and make sure she’s always safe.” His eyes are hard, challenging the rest of them. “I’m hers.”
Orion lifts his sleeve, revealing a mostly healed line of letters. Is that my fucking name?
“What the hell did you do?” I ask. “Is it infected?” I ask as I notice a red spot on the edge.
“We can promise right here, right now, that that’s what we will do,” he continues, ignoring my concern.
“Is your arm infected?” I shout.
“No, it’s in love.”
Parker snorts, and I’m not sure how he has the audacity to find anything funny. Lex stares in horror, like he can’t believe what he’s seeing.
“It’s most definitely infected,” Lex says.
As they start to bicker, realization sets in.
I have deep feelings for each one of these dumbasses, and I will not have a moment of peace as long as that’s true.
I need to make sure Orion’s arm is okay.
I need to make Lex feel better about everything we’ve done, and apparently, I need to keep Parker off the streets.
There’s only one way I see forward. Only one way I want to go, if I’m being honest.
I sit up, watching them for a moment as they squabble. “What if I offered myself right now?”
They stop fighting to look at me, all of their expressions varying, but they’re looking at me.
Parker sucks in a breath, his eyes hard on me. “Sable, that’s not necessary.”
“Yes, it absolutely is, for all of them but you. I offer myself to you, but not for a position as your whore.”
“Then what?” Lex asks.