Chapter 20
CHAPTER 20
brITTANY
B rittany brushed the tears from her eyes for the hundredth time as she pulled Min in for yet another hug.
“I can’t believe it! I’m so happy for you!”
Min was beaming, having already gotten hugs and congratulations from her sister and her mom, and the other friends around them. The diamond on her finger glittered in the low lighting, and Brittany found herself once again hopping up and down in excitement.
“When do we start planning?”
Min laughed. “Let me enjoy the night first, and then we’ll talk, okay?”
Her eyes slid over to where Hayden was talking with Randall. At the same moment, his eyes met hers.
Brittany squealed. “This is so cute. You both have the same stupid smile on your faces.”
“Our smiles are not stupid,” Min said, the stupid smile on her face growing.
“I’ll take a picture and send it to you.”
“Don’t you dare.”
Brittany and Min grinned at each other.
“You happy?” Brittany asked.
“I am. I really, really am.”
Brittany pulled her in for one more hug. She was so happy for Min, overjoyed that her friend had found her person and that they were going to make a commitment to each other.
But there was also a twinge of… something. Not necessarily jealousy, because Brittany wasn’t the type to be jealous of her friend’s success. But the sense of missing something that should be there, of feeling a hole that a person should be filling, was making itself known. And while Brittany enjoyed the hell out of her single life, she still felt that twinge.
But she pushed the feeling down, pulling back from Min to plant a big kiss on her cheek, leaving a bright Dirty Talk lipstick mark.
“I’m happy for you. I love you. Go get your man and celebrate.”
Min squeezed her one more time and then went to Hayden, who watched her approach like a thirsty man would watch a glass of water. When she was close enough, he pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her up against him. When he kissed her, the crowd cheered.
“Seems like that went well.”
Brittany turned to see Gus smiling down at her, his eyes glittering with interest and heat and something that looked a lot like affection. She beamed at him.
“I’d say it went really, really well.”
“They sure know how to throw a party. Although if you want any food, I suggest snagging it now. Theo’s chef quit.”
Brittany winced.
“Yikes, another one.”
“Yeah.”
All while they were talking, he was leaning closer and closer, and Brittany realized she was also leaning toward him, wanting him close.
“Have I told you how gorgeous you look tonight?”
“It doesn’t hurt to hear it more than once.”
His hand reached up for her cheek, caressing her there, and Brittany felt like she could melt into a puddle right in front of him.
“Just fucking great.”
They whirl around to find Robbie there, staring at them, leaning a little to one side and more pissed than Brittany had ever seen him.
Gus was already walking toward him, trying to head off the classic Robbie meltdown that was clearly about to happen.
“Dude, don’t cause a scene, they’re trying to have a nice party here.”
Robbie scoffed. “How am I the one causing a scene? Me? I’m the victim here.”
Brittany snorted, which she knew wasn’t helpful but also knew was inevitable. Robbie was a baby when things didn’t go his way, and he had apparently decided that this situation was exactly that.
And he was also drunk as a skunk.
Still, Gus tried to calm him down.
“You’re not a victim. You are no longer dating her. You moved on a while ago.”
“You moved on when we were still together, Robbie, remember?” Brittany added, not really feeling like being the bigger person when he was being such an ass. Brittany was a strong believer that if they went low, you dug a trench underneath to let the sinkhole swallow them.
Robbie turned glazed eyes to her.
“I can’t believe you’d do this to me.”
“Weird that I have to break this to you, but me and Gus actually have nothing to do with you.”
“You’re replacing me with him. The boring brother. No one even likes him.”
And that’s when Brittany saw red. She stormed up to Robbie, leaning up on her toes to get in his face.
“You listen to me, you waste of space. Gus is the best man I’ve ever fucking met, and if you think I’m going to let you talk shit about him just because he’s your brother, you better adjust your fucking mindset. He has done nothing but care for you and clean up every stupid shit thing you’ve done, and he deserves a lot more respect than anything you’ve ever shown him in your useless life. If I ever hear you speaking of him like that again, this stiletto is going to be making a sharp entry straight into your eye, you understand me?”
The entire restaurant was quiet, and Brittany vaguely heard her voice echoing in the crowd. At some point, Gus had wrapped his arm around her waist, probably to hold her back just in case she started swinging. She couldn’t blame him for quick thinking. But she never removed her eyes from Robbie, waiting for him to say the wrong fucking thing so she could clock him.
But instead of getting mad, Robbie suddenly looked sad. Distraught.
“I was never good enough for you,” he said. The crowd around them had widened, giving them space, watching what was proving to be an even greater show than a proposal.
“You could’ve been,” Brittany told him, not willing to give him an inch. “You could’ve shown up. You could’ve tried. Instead, you cheated.”
Robbie nodded.
“I’m a fuck-up. Always have been. Just ask Gus.”
At that, Gus tried to speak low just for Robbie, but Robbie pushed him away.
“No, I don’t want to hear it. You’ve always been better. And now it’s going to get thrown into my face every single day for the rest of my life. What a loser I am.”
Hayden approached at that, Theo behind him. “Gus.”
They didn’t need to say anything else. Gus gripped Robbie, not letting him slip away.
“I’ll get him to his hotel room.”
He stopped in front of Brittany, keeping Robbie away from her.
“I’m hoping this won’t be long. Stay with your friends. Don’t go anywhere alone.”
“I’m safe, Gus. I promise.”
“Stay that way.”
He didn’t kiss her then, even though his eyes said he wanted to, and Brittany felt the loss of it as he dragged Robbie across the dining room and out the door. There was something about the moment that made it feel more real than it probably was. Like Gus was walking away. Like he had made a choice, and he hadn’t picked her.
After Gus left, Brittany threw herself into the party and celebrating her friend. She and Dev managed to get Iris out on the dance floor, where they cut a rug, made friends with the DJ, and basically had one of the best nights Brittany had in recent memory. It was glorious.
She just wished Gus could’ve been there.
He sent her a text about an hour after he left, saying that he wasn’t going to be able to make it back to the party and that Brittany should catch a ride home with Devery and her mom. He had already been in contact with the security at the party to ask them to assign someone specifically to watch out for her. Brittany was disappointed, even though she understood. But it still begged the question, was Robbie ever going to be okay with her and Gus being together? And if he wasn’t, could she handle walking away? A few days ago, that answer would’ve been an easy ‘yes.’ After all, she and Gus had just started being intimate, and while they had crazy chemistry, Brittany had no plans to get between brothers.
But now… now she had come to know Gus. Rely on him. He was warm and caring and kind, but also vulnerable. He wasn’t used to being the center of attention, always assuming that people would ignore him in favor of Robbie. He had put himself in the background for so long he had made a career out of it, the protector who faded into the shadows. But Brittany wanted to put him first and center him and make him feel how he made her feel: cared for. Special. Loved.
Shaking her head, definitely not ready to deal with those feelings, Brittany called a ride share for her and Devery, with Min and Hayden saying they would take the trolley ‘for the memories,’ whatever that meant. When she let herself into Gus’s place, the lights were dim, meaning he was still out dealing with whatever drama Robbie felt like unleashing at the moment, and she was disappointed.
Determined not to dwell on a guy when she had things to do, Brittany changed into her comfy clothes, a tank top with a hoodie and her silk pajama shorts and went to her computer. Kickoff and the convention were overwhelming, as was her schedule, so while she checked her email often, she didn’t always have time to respond.
Clicking through, she winced at the emails from her mother, the ones asking for updates on her designs, or for her to approve scheduled appearances for after Kickoff. Brittany didn’t know how many times she had to tell her mom that Kickoff was busy and she wouldn’t always have time to respond, but still. Kathleen would continue to do what she had been doing for years—running Brittany’s life.
Brittany just wasn’t so sure she wanted to let her anymore.
She loved the channel, loved helping people find their outfits and their confidence in turn. But there was a lot she couldn’t do on the channel. She wanted a lot of things, and she just wasn’t certain how she could get it.
She sat down with her tablet, the swatches she had picked up, and a soda, determined to get some new designs ready for the meeting on Monday. She tried to clear her head, to think of nothing but lines and shapes, of fabrics, of feelings. But every time she let her mind wander, it went to Gus. What he was wearing. His smile when he was trying not to. The anger on his face when someone grabbed her.
She shook her head after a minute or two, gazing at the drawing. Without realizing it, she had designed lingerie—something strappy and lacy and sexy that had her fantasizing about how Gus would react if he saw her in it. She realized she had laid out the black lace she had grabbed at the last minute, on a whim, and was running her hands over it while she was drawing. And Brittany had to admit that the sketch would look amazing in that lace.
And once it was in her head, she started a new drawing, and then another, and another. Ideas flying out of her stylus faster than she could get the lines down. Something had unlocked in her, a floodgate of creativity as she tried sketching lingerie for every type of woman she could think of. She imagined Min in a loose, silky negligee, something with tasteful slits cut out in just the right places that would drive Hayden wild. After a blink, she stared down at the simple drawing she had done, and even though it was rough, she knew… Min would love it.
Brittany wasn’t sure how long she worked, but after a while her eyes were burning so she sat back, looking at her tablet in a daze. She had been struggling with designing for a few months now, and she realized why. She hadn’t been feeling it, not with the high-end clothes her mother was insisting she design all while knowing that’s not Brittany’s style. But now she had new inspiration, and she knew in her soul that this was the right direction for her. A huge chunk of Brittany’s channel was always spent on the first layer of clothing, the undergarments, and something about designing those intimate pieces was bringing out Brittany’s creativity from its long hiatus.
An hour later, Brittany was tired, her eyes bleary, but she was somehow so amped up she knew she wouldn’t be able to fall asleep. She was on the precipice of something. Her mother would hate it, but Brittany was finding that to be less and less of a motivator. She felt good for the first time in a long while, and she was going to revel in it.